I am so bothered by this article. I understand "women need to be on guard," but I don't understand why it has to be blamed on nice guys. If women are so scared of being vulnerable, take self-defense lessons! It can be hard to speak up to people who make us uncomfortable, but with the right set of skills, one can become confident enough to deal with these situations.
And speaking as the "overly nice guy," I have had women and men alike distance themselves from me when I harmlessly try to get to know them. I ask, "what am I doing wrong?" and often treat others more coldly afterward so as not to risk offending someone. Ironic, huh? In general, the kind of thinking this writer promotes will ultimately lead to utter isolation between individuals. A simple "hello" will be dangerous, and the "protection" these women aim for will turn to total unfriendliness. This disgusts me.
I relate very much to what she says in this article, and what all the women who responded are echoing. I guess 'uncomfortable' works, but for me, it's also a nervous feeling.
At the same time, I don't think these men are actually threatening to me in any real way (probably), but it seems to me to be some sort of sexism. I like people who are friendly, but I would much prefer it if I could receive the kind of friendliness that would be given to any human, not just a woman.
But huh. I didn't realize this was a common female feeling/experience. I thought I might be particularly sensitive about it because of my own insecurities.
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And speaking as the "overly nice guy," I have had women and men alike distance themselves from me when I harmlessly try to get to know them. I ask, "what am I doing wrong?" and often treat others more coldly afterward so as not to risk offending someone. Ironic, huh? In general, the kind of thinking this writer promotes will ultimately lead to utter isolation between individuals. A simple "hello" will be dangerous, and the "protection" these women aim for will turn to total unfriendliness. This disgusts me.
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I relate very much to what she says in this article, and what all the women who responded are echoing. I guess 'uncomfortable' works, but for me, it's also a nervous feeling.
At the same time, I don't think these men are actually threatening to me in any real way (probably), but it seems to me to be some sort of sexism. I like people who are friendly, but I would much prefer it if I could receive the kind of friendliness that would be given to any human, not just a woman.
But huh. I didn't realize this was a common female feeling/experience. I thought I might be particularly sensitive about it because of my own insecurities.
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