Every day that I stare in the fucking mirror, all I can do is hear a little girl crying these words into my head: "I don't want to recover anymore. I don't want to fucking be fat. I just want to be skinny again. I just want to lose weight. I need to destroy."
Don't be embarassed, we've all been there... when you find someone worth giving head to, you'll be able to talk to them and communicate. Ask for pointers. Seducingly, even, tell him or her to tell you what to do. I know a lot of men who are really turned on by the idea of a first-timer too, as long it's established that the first-timer doesn't use his/her teeth.
There are a lot of great books and sites with helpful hints. Even on LJ communities, look up some sexual ones and in the memories there will be a how-to on head.
I have a crippling social anxiety. I haven't left the house in four days. I've been battling an eating disorder for five years. What was anorexia become bulimia and is now compulsive overeating - which sickly and ironically I consider a pseudorecovery because COE is doing damage to my body but not as much as starving and purging were. < When I type a sentence like so, it doesn't even feel like me typing it. I feel like I'm possessed by this. The woman I once knew me to be wouldn't succumb to this. She'd heal. She had an insatiable thirst for life but now she's consumed so much she's bursting at the seams
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I am selfish and will die alone.
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There are a lot of great books and sites with helpful hints. Even on LJ communities, look up some sexual ones and in the memories there will be a how-to on head.
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