Forever and Ever
So, I know it's been forever since I posted an update or anything not a 1-liner about my antics with Kimli, so I decided to post something while I'm home sick.
(Of course, this is where my mind blanks out.) As Kimli says.
Since moving out I've had frequent panic attacks while thinking about money, which is inevitable. However, I tend to start worrying about my money when there is absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm fine if I have 20 bucks in the bank and rent is due in two days, PERFECTLY FINE. But right now I have a pretty decent amount in the bank and in my wallet, but I'm worried because I'm wondering if I'll make rent in June...? What? What is wrong with me?! It really helps that I live with Kimli and Luna because we all look out for each other and if one of us has some financial problems we can always rely on the other two. Plus, Kimli got a lot of groceries so thanks to her for filling the fridge for the next month :D.
At this point I will probably be going to Japan some time either over this summer or next summer. I've gotten into the movie business, and it's so cool. So now, over the summer, instead of being home for a few days a week between shooting concerts I will never be home!!! Which is sad, and sucks, but then I'll be able to make lots of money over the summer and when school comes I won't have to worry about working a lot. I get lots of grants from the school because of my grades so I'm pretty set over the year, but I'd like a little extra, especially since we're getting kittens soon.
As far as my health goes, I have been sick for almost two weeks now, but it's been bearable up until both last tuesday and today. This happens when spring hits, though, AND I HATE SPRING because of it. Everyone talks about how suddenly there's no snow, and the flowers are blooming, and everyone's out and about... I know, I know very well, but I'd rather not sneeze until my nose bleeds... << I'm always stuck inside in the spring, so the weather doesn't really matter until May when I'm able to go outside without ODing on benadryl.
And, despite what my step father insisted (DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!), living apart from my family isn't that bad. Yes, there are some stressful and irritating moments when living with two other people, but it's better than living with my step dad.
I've been feeling rather bitchy lately, like I want to pick a fight whenever I can, and it's really starting to piss me off (Great combo, eh?) I don't want to voice my opinion on anything because I feel like, if I do, then I'll insult someone. And, no matter how pissed I do feel, I actually don't want to hurt anyone, even if I tell myself I do and that it doesn't matter if I make them cry. (I'm the type, who, when I become really really angry, I say WHATEVER I can to make another person feel miserable, which is why, when I do get mad, I leave. So far it's happened a few times but I've been either drunk, on my period, or both, which is a DEADLY combination.)
Kimli is going back to school, which is GREAT! I know she was feeling really anxious, but Luna and I know she's really smart. I know she was having problems with college before, but when I was going to college for the first year I had a 1.2 gpa, so it's really a matter of finding the right school to go to. But, I'm genuinely very happy for her and I can't wait for her to go to MCLA! School does mean more stress, though, but she's been wanting to interact with people outside of work, so this is really the best place for her. I CAN'T WAIT KIMLI!! 8D
I went and visited my father last weekend, and we actually DIDN'T fight. I was absolutely amazed because I was worried all week that he and I would do our thing where we me the other cry. We talked about my mom and brothers, and he realized a few things about me he didn't know before. (My mother and I get along really well and we love each other a lot, but my father has always figured I loved and liked her more than him. Yes, I like her more, but I love both of my parents. However, liking my mom more doesn't mean I'm closer to her. My mom and I have very little in common, and she's always shone more interest in my brothers than I. I was telling my father this and he was arguing with me the whole time. Then we were discussing Disney movies and how we would go see the new movies as they came out and my father realized that it was always he and I, only once or twice did my mom go. I know lots of people push their parents away, I pushed my father away, but I never really have pushed my mother away because I didn't need to, she was never really there. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom a lot and I respect her, I miss living with her too, but she and I have never done the mother-daughter thing.)NOT THAT I'M BITTER.
I've been going to therapy again upon the request of all my doctors, my mother, and Luna. Luna in particular really pushed it because she's the only one who sees me FREAK OUT and in the past six months I've had four severe panic attacks. The most recent one was a few weeks ago after drinking with Luna and Kimli, and that one was the worst of them all. (I've never had this many attacks in this short period of time. I never even had this many in the months before I was hospitalized.)
Erm... me thinks that is it... Well, on to the anime stuff.
I've been watching Soul Eater, which is now in my top five favorite anime of all time. Kimli was trying to force Code Geass down our throats (XD), but I started watching it after seeing a particularly sad AMV of R2. I still haven't seen R2, however, because I'm giving myself a break from anime right now. Soul Eater is ending, and there is no way I'll be able to survive if I finish both Code Geass and Soul Eater in the same period of time. (I did that with Meine Liebe and Cluster Edge and I ended up calling Luna at three in the morning BAWLING) There's also Kuroshitsuji, which is exciting and not really depressing, but the main character is a young boy... so I take it to heart.
I think that's about it... yeah, that's it. I LOVE you guys.
(Of course, this is where my mind blanks out.) As Kimli says.
Since moving out I've had frequent panic attacks while thinking about money, which is inevitable. However, I tend to start worrying about my money when there is absolutely nothing to worry about. I'm fine if I have 20 bucks in the bank and rent is due in two days, PERFECTLY FINE. But right now I have a pretty decent amount in the bank and in my wallet, but I'm worried because I'm wondering if I'll make rent in June...? What? What is wrong with me?! It really helps that I live with Kimli and Luna because we all look out for each other and if one of us has some financial problems we can always rely on the other two. Plus, Kimli got a lot of groceries so thanks to her for filling the fridge for the next month :D.
At this point I will probably be going to Japan some time either over this summer or next summer. I've gotten into the movie business, and it's so cool. So now, over the summer, instead of being home for a few days a week between shooting concerts I will never be home!!! Which is sad, and sucks, but then I'll be able to make lots of money over the summer and when school comes I won't have to worry about working a lot. I get lots of grants from the school because of my grades so I'm pretty set over the year, but I'd like a little extra, especially since we're getting kittens soon.
As far as my health goes, I have been sick for almost two weeks now, but it's been bearable up until both last tuesday and today. This happens when spring hits, though, AND I HATE SPRING because of it. Everyone talks about how suddenly there's no snow, and the flowers are blooming, and everyone's out and about... I know, I know very well, but I'd rather not sneeze until my nose bleeds... << I'm always stuck inside in the spring, so the weather doesn't really matter until May when I'm able to go outside without ODing on benadryl.
And, despite what my step father insisted (DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!!!!!), living apart from my family isn't that bad. Yes, there are some stressful and irritating moments when living with two other people, but it's better than living with my step dad.
I've been feeling rather bitchy lately, like I want to pick a fight whenever I can, and it's really starting to piss me off (Great combo, eh?) I don't want to voice my opinion on anything because I feel like, if I do, then I'll insult someone. And, no matter how pissed I do feel, I actually don't want to hurt anyone, even if I tell myself I do and that it doesn't matter if I make them cry. (I'm the type, who, when I become really really angry, I say WHATEVER I can to make another person feel miserable, which is why, when I do get mad, I leave. So far it's happened a few times but I've been either drunk, on my period, or both, which is a DEADLY combination.)
Kimli is going back to school, which is GREAT! I know she was feeling really anxious, but Luna and I know she's really smart. I know she was having problems with college before, but when I was going to college for the first year I had a 1.2 gpa, so it's really a matter of finding the right school to go to. But, I'm genuinely very happy for her and I can't wait for her to go to MCLA! School does mean more stress, though, but she's been wanting to interact with people outside of work, so this is really the best place for her. I CAN'T WAIT KIMLI!! 8D
I went and visited my father last weekend, and we actually DIDN'T fight. I was absolutely amazed because I was worried all week that he and I would do our thing where we me the other cry. We talked about my mom and brothers, and he realized a few things about me he didn't know before. (My mother and I get along really well and we love each other a lot, but my father has always figured I loved and liked her more than him. Yes, I like her more, but I love both of my parents. However, liking my mom more doesn't mean I'm closer to her. My mom and I have very little in common, and she's always shone more interest in my brothers than I. I was telling my father this and he was arguing with me the whole time. Then we were discussing Disney movies and how we would go see the new movies as they came out and my father realized that it was always he and I, only once or twice did my mom go. I know lots of people push their parents away, I pushed my father away, but I never really have pushed my mother away because I didn't need to, she was never really there. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom a lot and I respect her, I miss living with her too, but she and I have never done the mother-daughter thing.)NOT THAT I'M BITTER.
I've been going to therapy again upon the request of all my doctors, my mother, and Luna. Luna in particular really pushed it because she's the only one who sees me FREAK OUT and in the past six months I've had four severe panic attacks. The most recent one was a few weeks ago after drinking with Luna and Kimli, and that one was the worst of them all. (I've never had this many attacks in this short period of time. I never even had this many in the months before I was hospitalized.)
Erm... me thinks that is it... Well, on to the anime stuff.
I've been watching Soul Eater, which is now in my top five favorite anime of all time. Kimli was trying to force Code Geass down our throats (XD), but I started watching it after seeing a particularly sad AMV of R2. I still haven't seen R2, however, because I'm giving myself a break from anime right now. Soul Eater is ending, and there is no way I'll be able to survive if I finish both Code Geass and Soul Eater in the same period of time. (I did that with Meine Liebe and Cluster Edge and I ended up calling Luna at three in the morning BAWLING) There's also Kuroshitsuji, which is exciting and not really depressing, but the main character is a young boy... so I take it to heart.
I think that's about it... yeah, that's it. I LOVE you guys.