One Crazy Night
Title: One Crazy Night
Author: stttmsbwa
Fandom: Drake and Josh
Pairings/Characters: Crazy Steve/Josh, Drake/Josh (it's confusing, really)
Rating: PG-13/T
A/N: This is a crack!fic that I got inspired to write after having a conversation with folkloric_feel on the topic of Crazy Steve/Josh. I had an idea for how this fic was going to play out, but then I think I got infected by Crazy Steve's crazy and, well, this happened. Enjoy. It's, um...really crazy. Not the deepest thing I've ever written. But one of the funniest.
Summary: There are a few things on Crazy Steve's mind.
It was days like this that made Crazy Steve, well, crazy.
Normally he loved working hard at his job at the Premiere. Normally he enjoyed wiping down the glass counter tops and restocking the cups. Normally he took painstaking joy in scrubbing every blemish off of the table tops, imagining that the discoloration was another version of his father that kept telling him, “You’re nothing but a crazy! Nothing but a crazy!”
But was it so normal when people would stop to stare at him as he responded to each stain? Crazy Steve didn’t think so. Crazy Steve didn’t think it was normal for people to gawk at him as he yelled back to each stain, “Only in my mind! I’m only crazy in my mind!”
And then there was him. That one person that drove Crazy Steve mad with crazy. More than his father did all 21 years of his childhood. More than that judgmental flakeazoid Leah who walked in on him waltzing with the mop. More than Dora did when she would ask him completely unbelievable questions, like “where are we going?” How in the world would Crazy Steve know? And if a swiping rodent tried to mug him, Crazy Steve would totally go Tae-Bo on his fluffy red tail.
But then there was him. Oh him. The him who tormented Crazy Steve almost every day. The him that made Crazy Steve wonder about his sanity.
Drake Parker, Crazy Steve thought, must have a great time being Drake Parker.
Crazy Steve isn’t blind or stupid, you know. Just a little crazy. Just a little. But through his crazy hazy vision Crazy Steve can see quite clearly that Drake Parker has got it all.
Drake Parker is popular. Popularity is something that Crazy Steve has a hard time fully comprehending. People? Liking you? A lot? On a daily basis? Even on Mondays? Unheard of!
But Drake Parker? He’s liked by people. Lots of people. Even on Mondays. Or so Crazy Steve has heard.
Also, Drake Parker? He is a musician. A musician. Meaning, he makes really pretty music out of his mouth and his guitar. Crazy Steve has always loved music. There’s just something about music that makes Crazy Steve less crazy and more Steve.
It all started when Crazy Steve was Little Steve - not yet Crazy but still Steve. Every time Little Steve was left home alone during the summer, he would sit in front of the tape player and play his favorite song. Over. And over. It made him relax. It made him calm. It made him less lonely. It brought Little Steve hope. Hope that, yes, she’ll be coming around the mountain. When she comes.
Every time Drake Parker is making music, whether it be a performance at the Premiere or just some simple humming while picking out candy before a movie, Crazy Steve pauses and tilts his attention around the sounds Drake Parker makes.
Beautiful. All of it. Simply beautiful.
Which is another reason why being Drake Parker would be so wonderful. Drake Parker is one of the most beautiful persons that Crazy Steve has ever known. Silky, shiny hair. Charming smile that simply paralyzes. Sweet, long fingers that look like they could wander anywhere with ease. Hip bones that jut out with style. Eyes that twinkle with ideas itching to get out. Knees that appear so bendy and firm.
Every inch. If Crazy Steve could be anyone, Crazy Steve would be every inch of Drake Parker.
Why?
Because Drake Parker has it all.
The social ease. The talent. The looks. The style. The charm. Charisma. Family. Tightly fitting pants. Him.
Most of all, Crazy Steve would like to be Drake Parker because what Crazy Steve wants most of all is him.
Drake Parker has him. Drake Parker has the other most beautiful person Crazy Steve knows.
Drake Parker has Josh.
And Crazy Steve? Crazy Steve is crazy for Josh.
Every moment that Josh spends, wiping down counters and stocking the cups - Crazy Steve is watching. Watching with longing.
Every day Josh rushes into the Premiere a few minutes behind schedule (Crazy Steve has memorized not only his own schedule, but Josh’s too), struggling to put on his gold vest and glancing around nervously, Crazy Steve makes sure to create a huge scene to ensure that Helen is distracted from Josh’s lateness.
Every time Crazy Steve is a little more Crazy than Steve, and Josh is there to make everything less crazy - Crazy Steve wants nothing more than to whisk Josh up into his arms and run away to an abandoned cabin in Washington, where Crazy Steve and Josh could live together forever with a constant supply of warmed milk and episodes of Dora.
Every night where it’s just Crazy Steve and Josh closing up the theatre, Crazy Steve always does his job a little slower - trying to make the night go by as long as possible. Swinging the mop slowly, left then right. Left then right. Why not right then left? Right then left. Stealing glances at a hasty Josh, trying to get everything stocked and finished so he can go home.
Crazy Steve doesn’t want to go home. There’s no Josh at home. Unless Crazy Steve took Josh home.
But Josh wouldn’t want Crazy Steve. Crazy Steve would have to be someone amazing and beautiful. Someone like Drake Parker.
Yes. If Crazy Steve were Drake Parker, Crazy Steve would have it all.
If Crazy Steve were Drake Parker, he would walk over to Josh as he polished the ticket booth, grab Josh by the shoulders and push him up against the counter. There would be instant lip on lip action. Just like in the movies. Only this would be in the movie theatre. Lobby.
Josh would respond eagerly, allowing Crazy Steve as Drake Parker to lift him up to sit on the counter as Crazy Steve as Drake Parker pressed against him and continued to taste Josh’s mouth. Josh would tangle his fingers into Crazy Steve as Drake Parker’s soft and shiny hair. Josh would moan and gasp and it would drive Crazy Steve as Drake Parker crazy.
Crazy Steve as Drake Parker would then climb on top of Josh, pushing him to lie down on the ticket counter. That gold vest would be ripped off. Crazy Steve as Drake Parker wouldn’t have to worry about Crazy Steve’s own red vest, because Crazy Steve would be Drake Parker.
The kisses would trail down to Josh’s neck as Crazy Steve as Drake Parker would ghost fingers down Josh’s chest and to the buttons on Josh’s shirt. The moment Crazy Steve as Drake Parker would manage to unbutton them all and slip his hand up Josh’s torso, Josh would moan Crazy Steve as Drake Parker’s name.
“Craz- uh, Steve?”
Crazy Steve’s daydream was cut off as Josh approached him. Hugging the mop to his chest, Crazy Steve turned his gaze upon the slightly shorter brunette. Josh was watching Crazy Steve carefully, eyes darting between the sopping mop to Crazy Steve’s face.
“You can leave now, if you want. Your shift ended twenty minutes ago.”
“NO!” Crazy Steve’s outburst caused Josh to flinch. “I know my schedule! I know my shifts! It says CLOSING!”
Gripping the mop tightly with both hand, Crazy Steve began thinking of all the ways he could draw out his shift. He could smear popcorn butter all over the walls. He could bake all of the chocolate bars in the corndog machine. He could -
Josh lifted his arms in an effort to try to get Crazy Steve to stop flailing. When did Crazy Steve start to flail? Crazy Steve did not know. What Crazy Steve did know was that
“THIS! IS! NOT! ON! THE! SCHEDULE!”
“Hey! HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE SWINGING THAT MOP!”
Not even daring to attempt a mop removal, Josh took a tiny step closer and began singing in a low voice.
“She’ll be coming around the mountain - “
“When she comes!”
Crazy Steve instantly dropped his mop and ran into Josh’s waiting open arms.
“Joshie’s here. Joshie’s got you.”
The feel of Josh’s soothing hands as he rubbed Crazy Steve’s head caused Crazy Steve to cry out softly.
“You don’t have to stay. Joshie can take care of the rest of this mess. Go home. Drink some milk.”
Crazy Steve nodded his head, his face trying to burrow deeper into Josh’s vest. Crazy Steve would do anything for Josh. Anything.
Not wanting to let go, but knowing he must, Crazy Steve patted Josh’s head and said the most eloquent statement he could muster.
“You ate my enchilada.”
Josh immediately bristled and tried to duck away, but Crazy Steve cupped Josh’s face with both his hands.
“You ate my enchilada, but I forgive you.”
And then Crazy Steve did something he never thought he could do. He, Crazy Steve, as Crazy Steve, brought Josh’s face against his own, against Crazy Steve as Crazy Steve’s face, and kissed him.
Crazy Steve had only kissed two people by this point in time. The first time was a little girl who lived down the street from Little Steve. Little Steve had cried and shoved the girl to the ground. The second time was when Steve-Not-Done-Being-Little-But-Slowly-Getting-To-Crazy Steve was in his sophomore year in high school. The guy was tall and had bright, laughing eyes. His name was A352, because that was his locker number. A352 would often help SNDBLBSGTC Steve when bullies would push SNDBLBSGTC Steve’s books out his hands and do other mean things to him. SNDBLBSGTC Steve thought he was in love. Maybe he was. But he was also going crazy. The kiss occured right after a nasty incident where a particularly cruel bully had chosen to hold SNDBLBSGTC Steve’s head under a running faucet in the boy’s restroom. A352 had walked in on the two boys and quickly drove away the laughing jerk. As A352 asked if SNDBLBSGTC Steve was alright, SNDBLBSGTC Steve shoved his lips against A352’s. SNDBLBSGTC Steve was instantly shoved away and A352 never helped SNDBLBSGTC Steve again.
So in Crazy Steve’s mind, kissing must involve a pusher in the end. Crazy Steve didn’t particularly like being pushed away, so he figured it would be best if he was the one to push.
After about 22 seconds, Crazy Steve broke the contact and shoved Josh’s face away from his own.
Josh stared at Crazy Steve with wide eyes, mouth hanging open and mind reeling.
“I’M GOING HOME NOW!”
Josh simply nodded and Crazy Steve bolted out the door.
What had Crazy Steve been thinking? Had Crazy Steve finally lost his mind?
With all sorts of thoughts racing through Crazy Steve’s head (Did Josh hate him? Was he going to get fired? Would Dora ever learn to use her own damn map and STOP ASKING MAPLESS PEOPLE FOR DIRECTIONS?), he didn’t think to look out for people walking towards him. It was past closing time, anyway, and even Crazy Steve knew that meant that nobody would be coming into the Premiere.
But sure enough, Crazy Steve plowed right into a shorter, softer body.
“Ack! Cra-Crazy Steve! What’s going on?”
Drake Parker. Drake Parker. It was Drake Parker. Crazy Steve had kissed him. And now Drake Parker was right in front of him.
“JOSH SAID I COULD LEAVE! IT WASN’T ON THE SCHEDULE, BUT HE SAID I COULD LEAVE! I’M GOING HOME NOW!”
Drake Parker raised an eyebrow as Crazy Steve flung his arms about and shouted in a panicked manner. Luckily, it wasn’t too out of the ordinary to see Crazy Steve in such a crazy state. Drake Parker just nodded his head and smiled.
“Okay. Have fun with that. I’m just gonna go see if Josh is done yet so I can give him a ride home.”
“BYE NOW.”
Drake Parker walked away from Crazy Steve and towards the lobby of the Premiere. As Crazy Steve watched the musician strut through the dark doorway, hips swaying to an unheard beat, Crazy Steve got a crazy idea.
Being as super sneaky quiet as possible, Crazy Steve tip toed his way back into the theatre. Creeping in the dark shadows, Crazy Steve peeked his head to observe the going-ons in the lobby.
Drake Parker walked up to the concession stand and placed both hands onto the counter. Josh stood on the other side, staring at nothing as he held a rag limply in his hand.
“Josh? Joshie? What’s up?”
Josh’s thoughts were interrupted upon hearing Drake’s voice. He turned to Drake and smiled. “Oh, hey Drake.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Just, uh, just a crazy night.”
Drake laughed and casually pointed a finger towards the front doors. “I know what you mean. I just ran into Crazy Steve, and man is he crazy!”
Josh laughed weakly in response. Drake leaned in closer to Josh, his stomach leaning on the counter with his hands.
“You almost done? I really, really wanna get home. Have some special time with my Joshie.”
Blushing slightly, Josh folded his arms. “Drake, I have the responsibility to make sure everything is spick and span before I leave. As assistant manager, it is my duty to - “
“Uphold the pristine qualities that ensure that the Premiere theatre is immaculate and suited to all theatre goers standards and needs. Yeah, yeah. So I’ve heard.”
Josh frowned. “Do you even know what half of those words mean?”
“No. What’s your point?”
“Do you know what the word grapple means?”
“To, uh, mix grape and apple?”
“It’s what I’m going to do to you in three seconds.”
“To give a boring lecture?”
“Two.”
“It better not be to claim radio privileges!”
“One.”
Crazy Steve watched in awe as Josh grappled Drake’s belt loops and drug him off his feet and onto the counter. Pulling Drake firmly against his lips, Josh growled softly into the kiss and moved his grip from Drake’s hips to Drake’s head. Drake, taken completely by surprise, clutched Josh’s shoulders and whimpered as Josh opened his mouth and pressed his tongue against Drake’s lips. In nanoseconds the two boy’s tongues had found each other. Josh hoisted Drake over the counter and then pushed him gently into a sitting position. Pressing himself against Drake’s eager body, Josh smiled as Drake quickly wound his legs around Josh’s waist. Moving his mouth to Drake’s neck, Josh sucked lightly and enjoyed the groan that Drake emitted.
It was almost musical. Crazy Steve felt so calm. So much more Steve than Crazy that it made Steve feel sane for the first time in a long time. As if Crazy Steve was witnessing the most magical scene of his not-life.
But if he were Drake Parker? Well, then Crazy Steve as Drake Parker would have it all.
But, then again, Crazy Steve as Drake Parker wouldn’t be able to watch Drake Parker and Josh make out on the candy counter. And, truly, Crazy Steve was okay with that.
Besides, this would only fuel Crazy Steve’s fantasies even more. Sweet, wonderful fantasies.
Yes, thought Crazy Steve, watching is so much better than doing. And so Crazy Steve watched. And he giggled when he didn’t close his eyes during the naughty scenes.
It was one crazy night.
Author: stttmsbwa
Fandom: Drake and Josh
Pairings/Characters: Crazy Steve/Josh, Drake/Josh (it's confusing, really)
Rating: PG-13/T
A/N: This is a crack!fic that I got inspired to write after having a conversation with folkloric_feel on the topic of Crazy Steve/Josh. I had an idea for how this fic was going to play out, but then I think I got infected by Crazy Steve's crazy and, well, this happened. Enjoy. It's, um...really crazy. Not the deepest thing I've ever written. But one of the funniest.
Summary: There are a few things on Crazy Steve's mind.
It was days like this that made Crazy Steve, well, crazy.
Normally he loved working hard at his job at the Premiere. Normally he enjoyed wiping down the glass counter tops and restocking the cups. Normally he took painstaking joy in scrubbing every blemish off of the table tops, imagining that the discoloration was another version of his father that kept telling him, “You’re nothing but a crazy! Nothing but a crazy!”
But was it so normal when people would stop to stare at him as he responded to each stain? Crazy Steve didn’t think so. Crazy Steve didn’t think it was normal for people to gawk at him as he yelled back to each stain, “Only in my mind! I’m only crazy in my mind!”
And then there was him. That one person that drove Crazy Steve mad with crazy. More than his father did all 21 years of his childhood. More than that judgmental flakeazoid Leah who walked in on him waltzing with the mop. More than Dora did when she would ask him completely unbelievable questions, like “where are we going?” How in the world would Crazy Steve know? And if a swiping rodent tried to mug him, Crazy Steve would totally go Tae-Bo on his fluffy red tail.
But then there was him. Oh him. The him who tormented Crazy Steve almost every day. The him that made Crazy Steve wonder about his sanity.
Drake Parker, Crazy Steve thought, must have a great time being Drake Parker.
Crazy Steve isn’t blind or stupid, you know. Just a little crazy. Just a little. But through his crazy hazy vision Crazy Steve can see quite clearly that Drake Parker has got it all.
Drake Parker is popular. Popularity is something that Crazy Steve has a hard time fully comprehending. People? Liking you? A lot? On a daily basis? Even on Mondays? Unheard of!
But Drake Parker? He’s liked by people. Lots of people. Even on Mondays. Or so Crazy Steve has heard.
Also, Drake Parker? He is a musician. A musician. Meaning, he makes really pretty music out of his mouth and his guitar. Crazy Steve has always loved music. There’s just something about music that makes Crazy Steve less crazy and more Steve.
It all started when Crazy Steve was Little Steve - not yet Crazy but still Steve. Every time Little Steve was left home alone during the summer, he would sit in front of the tape player and play his favorite song. Over. And over. It made him relax. It made him calm. It made him less lonely. It brought Little Steve hope. Hope that, yes, she’ll be coming around the mountain. When she comes.
Every time Drake Parker is making music, whether it be a performance at the Premiere or just some simple humming while picking out candy before a movie, Crazy Steve pauses and tilts his attention around the sounds Drake Parker makes.
Beautiful. All of it. Simply beautiful.
Which is another reason why being Drake Parker would be so wonderful. Drake Parker is one of the most beautiful persons that Crazy Steve has ever known. Silky, shiny hair. Charming smile that simply paralyzes. Sweet, long fingers that look like they could wander anywhere with ease. Hip bones that jut out with style. Eyes that twinkle with ideas itching to get out. Knees that appear so bendy and firm.
Every inch. If Crazy Steve could be anyone, Crazy Steve would be every inch of Drake Parker.
Why?
Because Drake Parker has it all.
The social ease. The talent. The looks. The style. The charm. Charisma. Family. Tightly fitting pants. Him.
Most of all, Crazy Steve would like to be Drake Parker because what Crazy Steve wants most of all is him.
Drake Parker has him. Drake Parker has the other most beautiful person Crazy Steve knows.
Drake Parker has Josh.
And Crazy Steve? Crazy Steve is crazy for Josh.
Every moment that Josh spends, wiping down counters and stocking the cups - Crazy Steve is watching. Watching with longing.
Every day Josh rushes into the Premiere a few minutes behind schedule (Crazy Steve has memorized not only his own schedule, but Josh’s too), struggling to put on his gold vest and glancing around nervously, Crazy Steve makes sure to create a huge scene to ensure that Helen is distracted from Josh’s lateness.
Every time Crazy Steve is a little more Crazy than Steve, and Josh is there to make everything less crazy - Crazy Steve wants nothing more than to whisk Josh up into his arms and run away to an abandoned cabin in Washington, where Crazy Steve and Josh could live together forever with a constant supply of warmed milk and episodes of Dora.
Every night where it’s just Crazy Steve and Josh closing up the theatre, Crazy Steve always does his job a little slower - trying to make the night go by as long as possible. Swinging the mop slowly, left then right. Left then right. Why not right then left? Right then left. Stealing glances at a hasty Josh, trying to get everything stocked and finished so he can go home.
Crazy Steve doesn’t want to go home. There’s no Josh at home. Unless Crazy Steve took Josh home.
But Josh wouldn’t want Crazy Steve. Crazy Steve would have to be someone amazing and beautiful. Someone like Drake Parker.
Yes. If Crazy Steve were Drake Parker, Crazy Steve would have it all.
If Crazy Steve were Drake Parker, he would walk over to Josh as he polished the ticket booth, grab Josh by the shoulders and push him up against the counter. There would be instant lip on lip action. Just like in the movies. Only this would be in the movie theatre. Lobby.
Josh would respond eagerly, allowing Crazy Steve as Drake Parker to lift him up to sit on the counter as Crazy Steve as Drake Parker pressed against him and continued to taste Josh’s mouth. Josh would tangle his fingers into Crazy Steve as Drake Parker’s soft and shiny hair. Josh would moan and gasp and it would drive Crazy Steve as Drake Parker crazy.
Crazy Steve as Drake Parker would then climb on top of Josh, pushing him to lie down on the ticket counter. That gold vest would be ripped off. Crazy Steve as Drake Parker wouldn’t have to worry about Crazy Steve’s own red vest, because Crazy Steve would be Drake Parker.
The kisses would trail down to Josh’s neck as Crazy Steve as Drake Parker would ghost fingers down Josh’s chest and to the buttons on Josh’s shirt. The moment Crazy Steve as Drake Parker would manage to unbutton them all and slip his hand up Josh’s torso, Josh would moan Crazy Steve as Drake Parker’s name.
“Craz- uh, Steve?”
Crazy Steve’s daydream was cut off as Josh approached him. Hugging the mop to his chest, Crazy Steve turned his gaze upon the slightly shorter brunette. Josh was watching Crazy Steve carefully, eyes darting between the sopping mop to Crazy Steve’s face.
“You can leave now, if you want. Your shift ended twenty minutes ago.”
“NO!” Crazy Steve’s outburst caused Josh to flinch. “I know my schedule! I know my shifts! It says CLOSING!”
Gripping the mop tightly with both hand, Crazy Steve began thinking of all the ways he could draw out his shift. He could smear popcorn butter all over the walls. He could bake all of the chocolate bars in the corndog machine. He could -
Josh lifted his arms in an effort to try to get Crazy Steve to stop flailing. When did Crazy Steve start to flail? Crazy Steve did not know. What Crazy Steve did know was that
“THIS! IS! NOT! ON! THE! SCHEDULE!”
“Hey! HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU’RE SWINGING THAT MOP!”
Not even daring to attempt a mop removal, Josh took a tiny step closer and began singing in a low voice.
“She’ll be coming around the mountain - “
“When she comes!”
Crazy Steve instantly dropped his mop and ran into Josh’s waiting open arms.
“Joshie’s here. Joshie’s got you.”
The feel of Josh’s soothing hands as he rubbed Crazy Steve’s head caused Crazy Steve to cry out softly.
“You don’t have to stay. Joshie can take care of the rest of this mess. Go home. Drink some milk.”
Crazy Steve nodded his head, his face trying to burrow deeper into Josh’s vest. Crazy Steve would do anything for Josh. Anything.
Not wanting to let go, but knowing he must, Crazy Steve patted Josh’s head and said the most eloquent statement he could muster.
“You ate my enchilada.”
Josh immediately bristled and tried to duck away, but Crazy Steve cupped Josh’s face with both his hands.
“You ate my enchilada, but I forgive you.”
And then Crazy Steve did something he never thought he could do. He, Crazy Steve, as Crazy Steve, brought Josh’s face against his own, against Crazy Steve as Crazy Steve’s face, and kissed him.
Crazy Steve had only kissed two people by this point in time. The first time was a little girl who lived down the street from Little Steve. Little Steve had cried and shoved the girl to the ground. The second time was when Steve-Not-Done-Being-Little-But-Slowly-Getting-To-Crazy Steve was in his sophomore year in high school. The guy was tall and had bright, laughing eyes. His name was A352, because that was his locker number. A352 would often help SNDBLBSGTC Steve when bullies would push SNDBLBSGTC Steve’s books out his hands and do other mean things to him. SNDBLBSGTC Steve thought he was in love. Maybe he was. But he was also going crazy. The kiss occured right after a nasty incident where a particularly cruel bully had chosen to hold SNDBLBSGTC Steve’s head under a running faucet in the boy’s restroom. A352 had walked in on the two boys and quickly drove away the laughing jerk. As A352 asked if SNDBLBSGTC Steve was alright, SNDBLBSGTC Steve shoved his lips against A352’s. SNDBLBSGTC Steve was instantly shoved away and A352 never helped SNDBLBSGTC Steve again.
So in Crazy Steve’s mind, kissing must involve a pusher in the end. Crazy Steve didn’t particularly like being pushed away, so he figured it would be best if he was the one to push.
After about 22 seconds, Crazy Steve broke the contact and shoved Josh’s face away from his own.
Josh stared at Crazy Steve with wide eyes, mouth hanging open and mind reeling.
“I’M GOING HOME NOW!”
Josh simply nodded and Crazy Steve bolted out the door.
What had Crazy Steve been thinking? Had Crazy Steve finally lost his mind?
With all sorts of thoughts racing through Crazy Steve’s head (Did Josh hate him? Was he going to get fired? Would Dora ever learn to use her own damn map and STOP ASKING MAPLESS PEOPLE FOR DIRECTIONS?), he didn’t think to look out for people walking towards him. It was past closing time, anyway, and even Crazy Steve knew that meant that nobody would be coming into the Premiere.
But sure enough, Crazy Steve plowed right into a shorter, softer body.
“Ack! Cra-Crazy Steve! What’s going on?”
Drake Parker. Drake Parker. It was Drake Parker. Crazy Steve had kissed him. And now Drake Parker was right in front of him.
“JOSH SAID I COULD LEAVE! IT WASN’T ON THE SCHEDULE, BUT HE SAID I COULD LEAVE! I’M GOING HOME NOW!”
Drake Parker raised an eyebrow as Crazy Steve flung his arms about and shouted in a panicked manner. Luckily, it wasn’t too out of the ordinary to see Crazy Steve in such a crazy state. Drake Parker just nodded his head and smiled.
“Okay. Have fun with that. I’m just gonna go see if Josh is done yet so I can give him a ride home.”
“BYE NOW.”
Drake Parker walked away from Crazy Steve and towards the lobby of the Premiere. As Crazy Steve watched the musician strut through the dark doorway, hips swaying to an unheard beat, Crazy Steve got a crazy idea.
Being as super sneaky quiet as possible, Crazy Steve tip toed his way back into the theatre. Creeping in the dark shadows, Crazy Steve peeked his head to observe the going-ons in the lobby.
Drake Parker walked up to the concession stand and placed both hands onto the counter. Josh stood on the other side, staring at nothing as he held a rag limply in his hand.
“Josh? Joshie? What’s up?”
Josh’s thoughts were interrupted upon hearing Drake’s voice. He turned to Drake and smiled. “Oh, hey Drake.”
“You okay?”
“Yeah. Just, uh, just a crazy night.”
Drake laughed and casually pointed a finger towards the front doors. “I know what you mean. I just ran into Crazy Steve, and man is he crazy!”
Josh laughed weakly in response. Drake leaned in closer to Josh, his stomach leaning on the counter with his hands.
“You almost done? I really, really wanna get home. Have some special time with my Joshie.”
Blushing slightly, Josh folded his arms. “Drake, I have the responsibility to make sure everything is spick and span before I leave. As assistant manager, it is my duty to - “
“Uphold the pristine qualities that ensure that the Premiere theatre is immaculate and suited to all theatre goers standards and needs. Yeah, yeah. So I’ve heard.”
Josh frowned. “Do you even know what half of those words mean?”
“No. What’s your point?”
“Do you know what the word grapple means?”
“To, uh, mix grape and apple?”
“It’s what I’m going to do to you in three seconds.”
“To give a boring lecture?”
“Two.”
“It better not be to claim radio privileges!”
“One.”
Crazy Steve watched in awe as Josh grappled Drake’s belt loops and drug him off his feet and onto the counter. Pulling Drake firmly against his lips, Josh growled softly into the kiss and moved his grip from Drake’s hips to Drake’s head. Drake, taken completely by surprise, clutched Josh’s shoulders and whimpered as Josh opened his mouth and pressed his tongue against Drake’s lips. In nanoseconds the two boy’s tongues had found each other. Josh hoisted Drake over the counter and then pushed him gently into a sitting position. Pressing himself against Drake’s eager body, Josh smiled as Drake quickly wound his legs around Josh’s waist. Moving his mouth to Drake’s neck, Josh sucked lightly and enjoyed the groan that Drake emitted.
It was almost musical. Crazy Steve felt so calm. So much more Steve than Crazy that it made Steve feel sane for the first time in a long time. As if Crazy Steve was witnessing the most magical scene of his not-life.
But if he were Drake Parker? Well, then Crazy Steve as Drake Parker would have it all.
But, then again, Crazy Steve as Drake Parker wouldn’t be able to watch Drake Parker and Josh make out on the candy counter. And, truly, Crazy Steve was okay with that.
Besides, this would only fuel Crazy Steve’s fantasies even more. Sweet, wonderful fantasies.
Yes, thought Crazy Steve, watching is so much better than doing. And so Crazy Steve watched. And he giggled when he didn’t close his eyes during the naughty scenes.
It was one crazy night.