fic: Did You Get My Subtle Hint?
Title: Did You Get My Subtle Hint? (or, How Not to Tell Your Roommate to Clean His Side of the Room)
Author: stttmsbwa
Rating: R
Word Count: 4,800
Disclaimer: Do not, do not. Or else there would be more boys kissing boys. Yes.
A/N: I don't know. I kind of just wrote this all at once. If - well - it might become an entire 'verse. Thank you to folkloric_feel for the beta!
Summary: Josh Nichols has the dirtiest, loudest, most inconsiderate roommate ever. He makes lists in his notebook of all the reasons why he can't stand him. [AU!College 'verse]
The thing about Josh’s roommate is - well, there’s actually a lot of things about Josh’s roommate, lots of things that Josh has maybe sort of listed together in a notebook that he keeps hidden under his calculus book, because he figures that his roommate wouldn’t go anywhere near a mathematical textbook if he could help it, things that he’s listed in hurried scrawl because Josh needs to write them out and stare at them with his own eyes if only to validate that yes, I do feel this way.
Anyhow - one thing about Josh’s roommate is that he is the messiest person Josh has ever had the misfortune of being around.
Leaves his dirty clothes hanging from his drawers, laying on the floor, thrown on my desk. Disgusting, just absolutely disgusting. Has no one told him that humans have invented hampers to avoid such hazards?
Josh doesn’t appreciate having to clean up after some kid that the housing department just so happened to stick him with. He supposes that the dirty clothes - while completely and utterly disgusting just the same - aren’t too terrible, and he manages to deal with kicking them off to his roommate’s side of the room if they start creeping over that invisible line. Josh is really dedicated to this invisible line.
No, it’s probably the collection of bowls and plates and cups that his roommate has begun to assemble all around the room that really has Josh at the end of his sanity.
I do not understand how hard it is to clean out a bowl of cereal. Seriously! He doesn’t even finish it all, just leaves it half eaten and sitting on the floor by his bed and lets it ferment. I wouldn’t be surprised if small organisms started growing out of all the food he leaves around. Half eaten sandwiches in his desk drawers, crumbles from candy bars in his sheets, empty cans of Mocha Cola thrown under his bed - it is not sanitary. And it’s starting to smell.
He’s tried leaving his roommate messages. Little post-it-notes with neatly printed words of wisdom, like “A clean room is a happy room!” and “Picking up after yourself is picking up a smile to put into your pocket!”
Josh usually finds these messages on the floor or crumpled up in the trash can. Something inside of him hurts a little when this happens, and Josh surmises that it’s his feelings being hurt, but he just tries to ignore that.
What Josh can’t ignore, though, is when his roommate decides it’s a good idea to pull out his guitar (the only item that Josh has ever, ever seen his roommate treat with any semblance of respect) and start playing. Because the times that his roommate picks? Are usually the worst times.
He did it again the other day. He started playing right in the middle of my afternoon nap. And it wasn’t even soft playing, it was loud and annoying and I woke up too quickly and I developed a migraine. And sometimes he’ll play when I’m obviously doing my homework, or studying, or reading anything at all. It’s like he’s a part of some kind of conspiracy to keep me from being well-rested and to prevent my mind from expanding. I’m onto him, I swear.
--
“Maybe you should confront him, face to face. Maybe that will work best.”
Josh picks at his salad, wishes that the dining hall would have almond bits everyday and not just on the days that Josh decides to not get a salad. Mindy, the girl from across the hall and the only real friend that Josh has managed to make after a month of living at college, munches on an apple and studies her notes with diligence.
Josh is kind of really jealous of Mindy’s note taking skills. They totally trump his own. Josh equates it to the perfectly neat handwriting that Mindy possesses as well as her ability to transcribe every single word that the professors say without having to raise her hand and ask for repeats (Josh’s classmates hate when he does that, but sometimes he thinks he’s gonna die if he doesn’t know exactly what his professor is saying).
“I don’t know. He’s kind of, well, he’s the kind of person I don’t talk to.”
Mindy snorts and doesn’t take her eyes off her work. Josh frowns and explains, “You see, I tried to talk to guys like him in high school. You know, the popular crowd. It - umm, well, it didn’t work out.”
“Didn’t work out as in, ‘they ignored me and I moved on with my life’?”
“More like didn’t work out as in, ‘they laughed at me and shoved me into the dumpsters in the back of the school every day for three weeks.’”
Josh is a little pleased by the fact that Mindy actually raises her gaze up to his face. “Really?” she asks, her eyes widening a little. “They did that to you?”
Nodding softly, Josh holds back the smile of satisfaction he wishes he could release. He waits for Mindy to go on, to tell him how sorry she is for all the hardships Josh had to endure in his youth. Josh is ready for all her sympathy.
Mindy’s face softens. “Hmm,” she says. “That must’ve sucked.” Her gaze falls back down to focus on Linear Algebra. Josh scowls a little, sputtering for a second before sighing and going back to picking at his plate of greens.
“Anyway, Drake isn’t the kind of guy that I can just go up to and say, ‘Hey! You! Clean up your side of the room and stop infecting mine!’ Not that I think he’s going to start stuffing me into dumpsters or anything. I mean, he’s too much on the scrawny side to manage something like that. But, I dunno.”
“You’re afraid he’s going to laugh at you and make you feel like less of a man, aren’t you?”
Josh stares at Mindy in mild disbelief before burying his face into his hands. “Yes. I am.”
Mindy reaches her right hand out to pat at Josh’s head. “Don’t worry, Nichols. He won’t emasculate you too much. At least this way you’ll say what you want to say and not have it constantly at the tip of your tongue anymore.”
Pursing his lips, Josh thinks it over. He stares at the sight of Mindy - her eyes whizzing back and forth as she continues to scan her lines of notes - and makes a decision.
As a side note, I’m more certain than ever that Mindy Crenshaw is a pod person sent here to make me feel even more like an idiot. Unfortunately, she is still my only friend.
--
When Josh gets back to his room later that evening, he walks up to his door and pauses for a moment before pressing his left ear against the wood.
He pulls back and grits his teeth, frustrated to find that the loud, pulsing music and loud voices are, in fact, coming from his room. Josh squares his shoulders and repeats a mantra in his head - something like, This is my room, too, and you can’t just throw random parties without telling me! - before he pulls the handle and opens the door.
There are probably about thirty people in the room and Josh has trouble squeezing in. He pushes past a few people - who complain and glare at him when their drinks get sloshed from his movements, but Josh doesn’t really care at this point - and tries to find the location of his roommate.
He sees Drake perched on his bed - his bed, not Drake’s own; Josh is ready to tear something apart with this teeth and is completely and totally ready to give Drake the sternest talking to, ever. With lots of finger shaking and foot tapping.
Drake sees him approach, throwing an arm up in greeting and causing the drink in said hand to swill over the lip of the cup and onto Josh’s comforter. Josh grits his teeth and stops right in front of his roommate.
“Joshie! Hey, man! Some party, huh? I mean, you tell one person and they tell four more. I meant to text you and tell you, but y’know. Got distracted.” Drake winks and throws his other arm around some girl’s shoulder, some girl Josh had never met and never seen before and who is giving the gooey eyed glance at Drake and who Drake smiles at before he bends down and -
Girls. Girls are probably the biggest complaint of all. Because, seriously? I do NOT want to see him twisting tongues with some strange dorm slut. I mean, all he does is bat his ridiculously long eyelashes and they come a-flocking! And if I have to walk in on him molesting another girl ever again, I’m going to barf all over his bed. If I wanted to see someone with their hand up a girl’s skirt, I’d use the internet. Not that I do that often. At all. I don’t. I swear. Anyway, complaint number 56 - girls.
Josh grimaces as he watches Drake’s lips press against the girl’s, and he has to turn away when tongues start peeking out and hands are suddenly tugging and yanking and Josh forgets his determination to say anything at all and instead quickly snags his super-special-secret notebook before hightailing it out of his room.
Grumbling in frustration, Josh slams his door shut and crosses the hallway and stares at the new door before him. He hesitates before raising his hand and knocking lightly.
Mindy answers the door - looking fresh and put together even in her pajamas, and Josh can’t help but think POD PERSON, POD PERSON! - and frowns at the sight of Josh standing at the threshold of her room before rolling her eyes and stepping aside to let Josh in.
Still possibly a pod person. But at least a nice pod person. With amazingly soft cashmere pajama pants. Must find myself a pair of those.
--
Mindy’s roommate is a shrilly, conclusion-drawing idiot. Mindy likes to simply call her a gossipy bitch, but Josh was raised to not speak of females in such terms, and he only allows himself to agree with her choice of words in the secret room within his head.
Anyhow, the night of the impromptu party in Drake and Josh’s room, in which Josh had simply crashed on Mindy’s floor - which only woke him up in the middle of the night (because he has lumbar problems, okay?) from all the tossing and turning in discomfort, and Mindy was tired of hearing him sighing and mumbling, so she had simply scooted over and let Josh curl up next to her - Mindy’s roommate had come back to her room after partying till three in the morning to find Mindy back to back with the strange, awkward boy from across the hall (Mindy’s roommate’s words, not Josh’s, and now he was seriously considering forgetting all he’d been taught on respecting women, because she really is kind of a bitch).
Somehow, the entire dorm was buzzing with this juicy piece of gossip for the rest of the day and well into the weekend. Not that the dorm wasn’t filled with gossip-worthy drama (within the first month, three unfortunate hook-ups had already occurred and just last weekend a kid had ended up with alcohol poisoning and threw up all over the lounge couch and window. It really was quite foul.), but for some strange reason, people thought it was extremely laugh-worthy that the uptight nerd queen had spent her Thursday night sexing up the socially awkward dork who everyone had assumed was a little queer.
Josh squawks when Mindy corners him outside the boy’s bathroom, shoving him into the wall and almost causing him to lose his hold on his towel. He only squawks again when Mindy reiterates the circulating rumor.
“But - but, we didn’t do anything!” His voice cracks and he can feel his face flushing at just the thought of what Mindy was implying.
“I know we didn’t do anything, moron.” Mindy’s arms are crossed and her face is stern and set. “I’m letting you know what other people are saying, in case someone brings it up and you don’t have anything to say in response other than, ‘But, but we didn’t do anything!’ It makes you sound like a sixth grader. So think of something a little more mature and reserved, okay?”
Josh wrinkles his nose and readjusts his grip on his towel. “Oh, well, I’ll make sure to take great care in defending your classy reputation. Heaven forbid people think that there’s something going on between you and me.”
Raising an eyebrow, Mindy pauses before replying, “That’s not what I meant at all. I honestly couldn’t give two shits what people think about me. But I know you do. So I was only trying to be helpful. Next time, though, I won’t bother.”
She turns away and walks off down the hall. Josh bites on his lip and begins to feel the guilt eat away at his stomach lining. Or maybe it’s the food from the dining hall, finally starting to attack his immune system.
“Oh,” Mindy adds, spinning around with her hands on her hips. “And if I didn’t think you had a thing for someone already, then I wouldn’t have minded at all if people were thinking that something was between you and me. But I’ve changed my mind on that one, too. You, Joshua Nichols, have issues.”
Josh watches her departure and sighs, knowing for certain that it is indeed guilt that’s drilling a hole into his lower abdomen.
It’s a month and a half into college and I suddenly have no friends.
--
Josh figures that the easiest way to avoid being questioned about his Night In Mindy Crenshaw (it’s not like college guys are at all clever or appropriate) is to simply avoid all people at all times.
In other words, Josh ends up spending a lot of his time in the library.
He’s in the stacks one night, trying not to gouge his eyes out over King Richard III, when he feels someone tapping his shoulder. Jumping a little, he looks up and is surprised to find his roommate hovering above him, face smiling friendly and casual.
“Hey, man. Here you are. I’ve been looking for you for an hour. Don’t you answer your phone?”
Josh abides by the library rules, which advise you to please turn your phone to silent and leave it stowed safely away in a backpack or purse. When Josh explains this to Drake, in hushed tones so as to not disturb any of his surrounding peers, Drake rolls his eyes and holds his hand out.
“What the fuck ever, man. This place is lame.”
He stares at Drake’s outstretched hand in confusion. Drake chuckles and waves his hand in front of Josh’s face.
“Come on, Joshie. Let’s get outta here. I know of an awesome house party on Mine Street.”
Josh hesitates before glancing down at his Complete Works of Shakespeare. “No thanks. I really have a lot of work to do.”
Drake snorts. “Josh. It’s a Friday. In college world all the work you have is to get shitfaced and do stupid things all night and into the AM. Now, come on.”
He waves his hand a little more, and Josh thinks about it for a moment.
“Oh, come on, Joshie,” Drake whines lightly, his lips curling into a pleading smile. “Don’t you trust me?”
Josh waits two seconds before caving.
Using those puppy dog eyes to get his way. Complaint number 98. Unfair and uncalled for. I do not approve and I do not want to fall victim to them ever again. Ever again!
Something tells me that it’s going to happen anyway.
--
The party on Mine Street isn’t like anything Josh has been to before. The two guys at the front of the door are holding a stack of red Silo cups and staring lecherously at any stack of racks they can find. When Drake and Josh approach them the taller guy holds out his hands expectantly.
“That’s a five dollar charge to get in, boys.”
Josh frowns a little but reaches for his wallet. As he shells out a five, he turns to Drake and is caught once again by those damn eyes.
“You mind covering me this time, Joshie?” He bats his (seriously ridiculously long) eyelashes and grins, teeth flashing and all charming like. Josh grumbles a little, but reaches back into his wallet all the same.
The guys manning the front laugh a little and hand over two cups.
“Have fun, boys.”
Drake takes the cups and leads Josh inside, his fingers gripping the shoulder of Josh’s shirt as he tugs Josh along. Stopping at the edge of a swarm of people, Drake turns to face Josh and pats his shoulder.
“Wait here, man. I’ll hook us up, okay?”
And suddenly Drake is making a beeline through the crowd that leads to the booze. His roommate suddenly lost in the mass of people, Josh can only crane his neck and search frantically for some hint of auburn hair and freckled face. After a seven minute panic session where Josh was certain that Drake had been trampled by beer-lusting frat boys and their whoring arm candy’s kitten heels, Josh gasps as a sloshing cup is shoved into his face.
“Jungle Juice, Josh! We totally scored, coming here.” Drake’s at his side, face red with exertion as he slurps down a third of his cup. Josh wrinkles his nose as he sniffs at his cup’s contents, but Drake sighs and gently pushes the cup towards Josh’s lips.
“Don’t be such a wet rag. I plan on getting you good and drunk tonight, man. You need it after being such an uptight dorkus for the past nineteen years of your life.”
Josh thinks that maybe he should be taking offense to Drake’s words and perhaps his uptight dorkus self, but once the tangy taste of his drink hits his tongue, all he can do is sputter and cough. Drake laughs and pounds his back.
“You get used to it, Joshie, I promise. Now come on, let’s mingle.”
Drake grabs the cuff of his shirt and starts dragging him deeper into the party of people, and Josh decides that instead of fighting it he might as well get into it. As he takes another sip of his cup he figures that he’s gonna need to be drunk if he’s really going to be spending the whole night in Drake’s company.
--
Three hours later and Josh is thinking that maybe he should schedule an appointment with his eye doctor. Because something really wonky is going on with his vision and his depth perception. He’s already walked into four people and two walls, and each time all he could do was burst into barking laughter.
“I need to see an eye doctor,” he tells Drake, batting at his roommate’s arm and trying to swallow his chortlings. “I really need to. I’m seeing two of you, man. Two.”
Drake snickers and pulls Josh’s head into the crook of his neck. “No, Joshie. You’re just drunk. I promise your eyesight will be back to normal. Tomorrow.”
Josh moans a little and clutches at Drake’s jacket. “But I want it to be better now!”
He rubs soothing circles against Josh’s back and grins sloppily at the sound of Josh’s continued moaning.
“Okay, okay. I think it’s time to get you back to the dorm. Let’s go, Joshie. Wanna go to bed now?”
Wobbly and disoriented, Josh nods and lets Drake yank him into a standing position. As they leave he feels people patting his shoulder, whooping and shouting, “Yeah, Nichols! Parker! See you guys later! Awesome time tonight, man!”
Josh thinks he manages to wave in response, because he has friends now, friends! And it makes him kind of want to get up on top of a table and dance and sing.
“No way, Joshie. You’ve already done that one tonight. I think everybody’s had enough of you belting out acapella renditions of 90’s boy bands’ songs. In fact, this only reminds me that I need to help you and your terrible musical taste.”
As the two of them stumbled down the four blocks it takes to get back to their dorm building, Drake rants on about what kind of artists he’s so sure Josh will absolutely love if he just gives them a chance. Between the two of them, they have to help one another get the card key through the slot to open the door of the building and figuring out which number in the elevator is their floor takes a few good seconds of body bending laughs.
Josh’s fingers drop the keys to their door and Drake has to swoop in with his own to save the day. The door swings open and the two boys tumble through the frame, their hands clutching at each other to try and keep their balance in check.
“Bed, Joshie. Come on, let’s get you to your bed.”
Drake leads Josh towards his bed and pushes him onto the neatly made comforter. Josh’s fingers keep their grip, though, and Drake ends up falling over and onto Josh’s sprawled body.
“Whoa,” Josh huffs, his nose inches away from Drake’s right ear. “You fell on me.”
Drake nods his head and smiles down at Josh. “I did. And now that I’m here, what are you going to do?”
Josh’s brow furrows as he tries to think about what he could possibly do with a sloppy drunk Drake laying on his chest, but his thinking stops when he feels the warm press of Drake’s lips at the corner of his mouth.
“Hey! What are you - “ And then suddenly Drake’s kissing his lips and Josh can’t think nor breathe nor see straight. Which is really starting to bother him, especially when he begins to realize the double entendre that it implies. And something inside of him tells him that he should push Drake away and tell him that he isn’t gay, no matter his eyesight, and that he doesn’t think that making out with one’s roommate is a good idea at all.
But then something else in Josh says, ‘Hell yes! HELL YES! Take it, Josh Nichols, TAKE IT ALL!’ and Josh is pretty sure that it isn’t something that came purely from him, because he simply does not say things like that and -
“Josh. I’m trying to kiss you and you keep saying things that don’t make sense.” Josh blinks up at Drake and stammers before Drake bends down and plants another kiss onto Josh’s lips. “In other words, shut up and go with it, okay?”
So Josh does. And it feels amazing. Drake’s lips are so soft and warm and they send tingles down Josh’s back and make him clench tighter at the fabric of Drake’s jacket. Which really shouldn’t be on him anymore, Josh decides as he claws at it and tugs at it until Drake is shrugging out of it and letting it fall onto the floor.
Then Josh decides (because he’s in a deciding mood now, because so far the decisions he’s made tonight have been awesome) that he needs to feel all of Drake, so he musters the energy to flip them so he’s the one pressing Drake into the mattress, legs tangling together in a mess of rough denim and pulsing body heat.
When he feels Drake’s tongue moving behind Drake’s lips, Josh growls a little and nips at Drake’s bottom lip in invitation. Drake gasps and opens, pressing his tongue against and into Josh’s mouth. The velvety slide of tongue against tongue releases something in Josh, and suddenly all his heat shoots to a lower part of his body. He moans softly and thrusts against Drake’s hips (to-be-officially complaint number 102, because a person should not have hips that make Josh want to do such sinful things, such terrible and wonderful sinful things).
“Fuck, Josh. Oh, Josh, please, don’t stop,” Drake grunts against Josh’s lips, his knees lifting to bracket Josh’s thighs. Josh moans again and lets his hips roll against Drake’s, the sweet sensation of pleasure pulsing through his entire being overwhelming all his senses.
Josh can’t keep his kisses steady anymore, his concentration focused on the feel of Drake’s hardened dick pressing against his own through the two layers of jeans. He pants against the side of Drake’s head and keeps his hands gripping Drake’s sides as he keeps thrusting. Drake’s mumblings are incoherent at this point and he silences himself by latching onto Josh’s neck and sucking, hard.
Josh groans and thrusts desperate and rough one last time, waves of pleasure overcoming him. Drake shuffles around from beneath Josh’s suddenly motionless body, his mewls of frustration making Josh smile stupidly.
“Oh, come on Josh. Goddammit!” Josh brings his lips back to Drake’s and snakes his hand down to Drake’s hard on. It only takes three uncoordinated strokes against the fabric of his jeans and Drake is coming, his fingers winding up into Josh’s hair and his voice cracking as he cries out into Josh’s mouth.
The two boys lay there for a moment, both panting and trying to keep their eyes from sliding shut. Finally, Josh picks his head up from Drake’s shoulder and whispers, “So. Um. Was it good for you?”
Drake’s lips curl into a wry smile before answering. “I would say so. Don’t know why we haven’t done that sooner.”
Josh feels his brain ringing in his head as he stammers,“I thought you were straight. I mean, I’m straight! I mean, I don’t know.”
Suddenly feeling incredibly sober, Josh wants nothing more than to bury himself under his covers and hide forever, even if he’s just had the single greatest orgasm of his life. Drake only chuckles and gently runs his fingers through Josh’s hair.
“Well, I’ve thought you were a little queerish from day one. And I totally didn’t believe those rumors about you and the Crenshaw Creature.”
Josh scowls but doesn’t pull away from Drake’s touch. “Why? Is it so hard to believe that I could score with Mindy?”
“Not at all. More like I don’t think the bitch would ever have the desire to unclamp her legs and let another person close enough to stick it in her.”
Sighing in exasperation, Josh tries to explain, “Mindy’s not a bitch, no matter what you may think about her. And I’ll bet that when the right guy comes into her life, she’ll be more than happy to - “
Drake reaches up to push a kiss against Josh’s lips, effectively silencing him. Josh’s face falls into a serene smile as Drake presses his nose against Josh’s.
“Also. I kind of read your diary.”
And then all of Josh’s calmness from the kissing lips and kissing noses is immediately out the window. He pulls away from Drake’s face, forehead furrowing with panicked confusion. “What? What diary? I don’t keep a diary. What are you talking about?”
“You know, that notebook you’re always scribbling in. I read it the other day and saw how neurotic you are. And insecure. And how much you write about me. Which is a lot, by the way. And I thought - “
“And you thought what? That I had some stupid crush on you?”
Drake thinks for a moment before nodding. “Well, yeah. Why not?”
“Maybe because I don’t!”
Shrugging his shoulders, Drake smiles and presses a finger into Josh’s neck. “Something tells me that you don’t hate me as much as you think you do.”
Josh groans in frustration and lets his head drop into the comforter below Drake. “I don’t care anymore. I’m tired and I think I’m starting to get a headache. I’m going to bed now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Josh rolls off of Drake and waits to feel him leave. When Drake doesn’t, only moves a little closer to Drake’s side, he asks, “Aren’t you going to move? You’re in my bed, you know.”
“Oh, I know. But have you seen my bed? It’s a mess!”
And there’s so much that Josh should say (something like, ‘Well, that’s your own damn fault!’ or ‘Maybe if you had actually read my so-called diary, we wouldn’t be in this situation.’), but in the end he decides that it just isn’t worth it. Instead, he closes his eyes and lets his body fall into a deep sleep.
He kind of likes the warmth of Drake’s side against his own.
Author: stttmsbwa
Rating: R
Word Count: 4,800
Disclaimer: Do not, do not. Or else there would be more boys kissing boys. Yes.
A/N: I don't know. I kind of just wrote this all at once. If - well - it might become an entire 'verse. Thank you to folkloric_feel for the beta!
Summary: Josh Nichols has the dirtiest, loudest, most inconsiderate roommate ever. He makes lists in his notebook of all the reasons why he can't stand him. [AU!College 'verse]
The thing about Josh’s roommate is - well, there’s actually a lot of things about Josh’s roommate, lots of things that Josh has maybe sort of listed together in a notebook that he keeps hidden under his calculus book, because he figures that his roommate wouldn’t go anywhere near a mathematical textbook if he could help it, things that he’s listed in hurried scrawl because Josh needs to write them out and stare at them with his own eyes if only to validate that yes, I do feel this way.
Anyhow - one thing about Josh’s roommate is that he is the messiest person Josh has ever had the misfortune of being around.
Leaves his dirty clothes hanging from his drawers, laying on the floor, thrown on my desk. Disgusting, just absolutely disgusting. Has no one told him that humans have invented hampers to avoid such hazards?
Josh doesn’t appreciate having to clean up after some kid that the housing department just so happened to stick him with. He supposes that the dirty clothes - while completely and utterly disgusting just the same - aren’t too terrible, and he manages to deal with kicking them off to his roommate’s side of the room if they start creeping over that invisible line. Josh is really dedicated to this invisible line.
No, it’s probably the collection of bowls and plates and cups that his roommate has begun to assemble all around the room that really has Josh at the end of his sanity.
I do not understand how hard it is to clean out a bowl of cereal. Seriously! He doesn’t even finish it all, just leaves it half eaten and sitting on the floor by his bed and lets it ferment. I wouldn’t be surprised if small organisms started growing out of all the food he leaves around. Half eaten sandwiches in his desk drawers, crumbles from candy bars in his sheets, empty cans of Mocha Cola thrown under his bed - it is not sanitary. And it’s starting to smell.
He’s tried leaving his roommate messages. Little post-it-notes with neatly printed words of wisdom, like “A clean room is a happy room!” and “Picking up after yourself is picking up a smile to put into your pocket!”
Josh usually finds these messages on the floor or crumpled up in the trash can. Something inside of him hurts a little when this happens, and Josh surmises that it’s his feelings being hurt, but he just tries to ignore that.
What Josh can’t ignore, though, is when his roommate decides it’s a good idea to pull out his guitar (the only item that Josh has ever, ever seen his roommate treat with any semblance of respect) and start playing. Because the times that his roommate picks? Are usually the worst times.
He did it again the other day. He started playing right in the middle of my afternoon nap. And it wasn’t even soft playing, it was loud and annoying and I woke up too quickly and I developed a migraine. And sometimes he’ll play when I’m obviously doing my homework, or studying, or reading anything at all. It’s like he’s a part of some kind of conspiracy to keep me from being well-rested and to prevent my mind from expanding. I’m onto him, I swear.
--
“Maybe you should confront him, face to face. Maybe that will work best.”
Josh picks at his salad, wishes that the dining hall would have almond bits everyday and not just on the days that Josh decides to not get a salad. Mindy, the girl from across the hall and the only real friend that Josh has managed to make after a month of living at college, munches on an apple and studies her notes with diligence.
Josh is kind of really jealous of Mindy’s note taking skills. They totally trump his own. Josh equates it to the perfectly neat handwriting that Mindy possesses as well as her ability to transcribe every single word that the professors say without having to raise her hand and ask for repeats (Josh’s classmates hate when he does that, but sometimes he thinks he’s gonna die if he doesn’t know exactly what his professor is saying).
“I don’t know. He’s kind of, well, he’s the kind of person I don’t talk to.”
Mindy snorts and doesn’t take her eyes off her work. Josh frowns and explains, “You see, I tried to talk to guys like him in high school. You know, the popular crowd. It - umm, well, it didn’t work out.”
“Didn’t work out as in, ‘they ignored me and I moved on with my life’?”
“More like didn’t work out as in, ‘they laughed at me and shoved me into the dumpsters in the back of the school every day for three weeks.’”
Josh is a little pleased by the fact that Mindy actually raises her gaze up to his face. “Really?” she asks, her eyes widening a little. “They did that to you?”
Nodding softly, Josh holds back the smile of satisfaction he wishes he could release. He waits for Mindy to go on, to tell him how sorry she is for all the hardships Josh had to endure in his youth. Josh is ready for all her sympathy.
Mindy’s face softens. “Hmm,” she says. “That must’ve sucked.” Her gaze falls back down to focus on Linear Algebra. Josh scowls a little, sputtering for a second before sighing and going back to picking at his plate of greens.
“Anyway, Drake isn’t the kind of guy that I can just go up to and say, ‘Hey! You! Clean up your side of the room and stop infecting mine!’ Not that I think he’s going to start stuffing me into dumpsters or anything. I mean, he’s too much on the scrawny side to manage something like that. But, I dunno.”
“You’re afraid he’s going to laugh at you and make you feel like less of a man, aren’t you?”
Josh stares at Mindy in mild disbelief before burying his face into his hands. “Yes. I am.”
Mindy reaches her right hand out to pat at Josh’s head. “Don’t worry, Nichols. He won’t emasculate you too much. At least this way you’ll say what you want to say and not have it constantly at the tip of your tongue anymore.”
Pursing his lips, Josh thinks it over. He stares at the sight of Mindy - her eyes whizzing back and forth as she continues to scan her lines of notes - and makes a decision.
As a side note, I’m more certain than ever that Mindy Crenshaw is a pod person sent here to make me feel even more like an idiot. Unfortunately, she is still my only friend.
--
When Josh gets back to his room later that evening, he walks up to his door and pauses for a moment before pressing his left ear against the wood.
He pulls back and grits his teeth, frustrated to find that the loud, pulsing music and loud voices are, in fact, coming from his room. Josh squares his shoulders and repeats a mantra in his head - something like, This is my room, too, and you can’t just throw random parties without telling me! - before he pulls the handle and opens the door.
There are probably about thirty people in the room and Josh has trouble squeezing in. He pushes past a few people - who complain and glare at him when their drinks get sloshed from his movements, but Josh doesn’t really care at this point - and tries to find the location of his roommate.
He sees Drake perched on his bed - his bed, not Drake’s own; Josh is ready to tear something apart with this teeth and is completely and totally ready to give Drake the sternest talking to, ever. With lots of finger shaking and foot tapping.
Drake sees him approach, throwing an arm up in greeting and causing the drink in said hand to swill over the lip of the cup and onto Josh’s comforter. Josh grits his teeth and stops right in front of his roommate.
“Joshie! Hey, man! Some party, huh? I mean, you tell one person and they tell four more. I meant to text you and tell you, but y’know. Got distracted.” Drake winks and throws his other arm around some girl’s shoulder, some girl Josh had never met and never seen before and who is giving the gooey eyed glance at Drake and who Drake smiles at before he bends down and -
Girls. Girls are probably the biggest complaint of all. Because, seriously? I do NOT want to see him twisting tongues with some strange dorm slut. I mean, all he does is bat his ridiculously long eyelashes and they come a-flocking! And if I have to walk in on him molesting another girl ever again, I’m going to barf all over his bed. If I wanted to see someone with their hand up a girl’s skirt, I’d use the internet. Not that I do that often. At all. I don’t. I swear. Anyway, complaint number 56 - girls.
Josh grimaces as he watches Drake’s lips press against the girl’s, and he has to turn away when tongues start peeking out and hands are suddenly tugging and yanking and Josh forgets his determination to say anything at all and instead quickly snags his super-special-secret notebook before hightailing it out of his room.
Grumbling in frustration, Josh slams his door shut and crosses the hallway and stares at the new door before him. He hesitates before raising his hand and knocking lightly.
Mindy answers the door - looking fresh and put together even in her pajamas, and Josh can’t help but think POD PERSON, POD PERSON! - and frowns at the sight of Josh standing at the threshold of her room before rolling her eyes and stepping aside to let Josh in.
Still possibly a pod person. But at least a nice pod person. With amazingly soft cashmere pajama pants. Must find myself a pair of those.
--
Mindy’s roommate is a shrilly, conclusion-drawing idiot. Mindy likes to simply call her a gossipy bitch, but Josh was raised to not speak of females in such terms, and he only allows himself to agree with her choice of words in the secret room within his head.
Anyhow, the night of the impromptu party in Drake and Josh’s room, in which Josh had simply crashed on Mindy’s floor - which only woke him up in the middle of the night (because he has lumbar problems, okay?) from all the tossing and turning in discomfort, and Mindy was tired of hearing him sighing and mumbling, so she had simply scooted over and let Josh curl up next to her - Mindy’s roommate had come back to her room after partying till three in the morning to find Mindy back to back with the strange, awkward boy from across the hall (Mindy’s roommate’s words, not Josh’s, and now he was seriously considering forgetting all he’d been taught on respecting women, because she really is kind of a bitch).
Somehow, the entire dorm was buzzing with this juicy piece of gossip for the rest of the day and well into the weekend. Not that the dorm wasn’t filled with gossip-worthy drama (within the first month, three unfortunate hook-ups had already occurred and just last weekend a kid had ended up with alcohol poisoning and threw up all over the lounge couch and window. It really was quite foul.), but for some strange reason, people thought it was extremely laugh-worthy that the uptight nerd queen had spent her Thursday night sexing up the socially awkward dork who everyone had assumed was a little queer.
Josh squawks when Mindy corners him outside the boy’s bathroom, shoving him into the wall and almost causing him to lose his hold on his towel. He only squawks again when Mindy reiterates the circulating rumor.
“But - but, we didn’t do anything!” His voice cracks and he can feel his face flushing at just the thought of what Mindy was implying.
“I know we didn’t do anything, moron.” Mindy’s arms are crossed and her face is stern and set. “I’m letting you know what other people are saying, in case someone brings it up and you don’t have anything to say in response other than, ‘But, but we didn’t do anything!’ It makes you sound like a sixth grader. So think of something a little more mature and reserved, okay?”
Josh wrinkles his nose and readjusts his grip on his towel. “Oh, well, I’ll make sure to take great care in defending your classy reputation. Heaven forbid people think that there’s something going on between you and me.”
Raising an eyebrow, Mindy pauses before replying, “That’s not what I meant at all. I honestly couldn’t give two shits what people think about me. But I know you do. So I was only trying to be helpful. Next time, though, I won’t bother.”
She turns away and walks off down the hall. Josh bites on his lip and begins to feel the guilt eat away at his stomach lining. Or maybe it’s the food from the dining hall, finally starting to attack his immune system.
“Oh,” Mindy adds, spinning around with her hands on her hips. “And if I didn’t think you had a thing for someone already, then I wouldn’t have minded at all if people were thinking that something was between you and me. But I’ve changed my mind on that one, too. You, Joshua Nichols, have issues.”
Josh watches her departure and sighs, knowing for certain that it is indeed guilt that’s drilling a hole into his lower abdomen.
It’s a month and a half into college and I suddenly have no friends.
--
Josh figures that the easiest way to avoid being questioned about his Night In Mindy Crenshaw (it’s not like college guys are at all clever or appropriate) is to simply avoid all people at all times.
In other words, Josh ends up spending a lot of his time in the library.
He’s in the stacks one night, trying not to gouge his eyes out over King Richard III, when he feels someone tapping his shoulder. Jumping a little, he looks up and is surprised to find his roommate hovering above him, face smiling friendly and casual.
“Hey, man. Here you are. I’ve been looking for you for an hour. Don’t you answer your phone?”
Josh abides by the library rules, which advise you to please turn your phone to silent and leave it stowed safely away in a backpack or purse. When Josh explains this to Drake, in hushed tones so as to not disturb any of his surrounding peers, Drake rolls his eyes and holds his hand out.
“What the fuck ever, man. This place is lame.”
He stares at Drake’s outstretched hand in confusion. Drake chuckles and waves his hand in front of Josh’s face.
“Come on, Joshie. Let’s get outta here. I know of an awesome house party on Mine Street.”
Josh hesitates before glancing down at his Complete Works of Shakespeare. “No thanks. I really have a lot of work to do.”
Drake snorts. “Josh. It’s a Friday. In college world all the work you have is to get shitfaced and do stupid things all night and into the AM. Now, come on.”
He waves his hand a little more, and Josh thinks about it for a moment.
“Oh, come on, Joshie,” Drake whines lightly, his lips curling into a pleading smile. “Don’t you trust me?”
Josh waits two seconds before caving.
Using those puppy dog eyes to get his way. Complaint number 98. Unfair and uncalled for. I do not approve and I do not want to fall victim to them ever again. Ever again!
Something tells me that it’s going to happen anyway.
--
The party on Mine Street isn’t like anything Josh has been to before. The two guys at the front of the door are holding a stack of red Silo cups and staring lecherously at any stack of racks they can find. When Drake and Josh approach them the taller guy holds out his hands expectantly.
“That’s a five dollar charge to get in, boys.”
Josh frowns a little but reaches for his wallet. As he shells out a five, he turns to Drake and is caught once again by those damn eyes.
“You mind covering me this time, Joshie?” He bats his (seriously ridiculously long) eyelashes and grins, teeth flashing and all charming like. Josh grumbles a little, but reaches back into his wallet all the same.
The guys manning the front laugh a little and hand over two cups.
“Have fun, boys.”
Drake takes the cups and leads Josh inside, his fingers gripping the shoulder of Josh’s shirt as he tugs Josh along. Stopping at the edge of a swarm of people, Drake turns to face Josh and pats his shoulder.
“Wait here, man. I’ll hook us up, okay?”
And suddenly Drake is making a beeline through the crowd that leads to the booze. His roommate suddenly lost in the mass of people, Josh can only crane his neck and search frantically for some hint of auburn hair and freckled face. After a seven minute panic session where Josh was certain that Drake had been trampled by beer-lusting frat boys and their whoring arm candy’s kitten heels, Josh gasps as a sloshing cup is shoved into his face.
“Jungle Juice, Josh! We totally scored, coming here.” Drake’s at his side, face red with exertion as he slurps down a third of his cup. Josh wrinkles his nose as he sniffs at his cup’s contents, but Drake sighs and gently pushes the cup towards Josh’s lips.
“Don’t be such a wet rag. I plan on getting you good and drunk tonight, man. You need it after being such an uptight dorkus for the past nineteen years of your life.”
Josh thinks that maybe he should be taking offense to Drake’s words and perhaps his uptight dorkus self, but once the tangy taste of his drink hits his tongue, all he can do is sputter and cough. Drake laughs and pounds his back.
“You get used to it, Joshie, I promise. Now come on, let’s mingle.”
Drake grabs the cuff of his shirt and starts dragging him deeper into the party of people, and Josh decides that instead of fighting it he might as well get into it. As he takes another sip of his cup he figures that he’s gonna need to be drunk if he’s really going to be spending the whole night in Drake’s company.
--
Three hours later and Josh is thinking that maybe he should schedule an appointment with his eye doctor. Because something really wonky is going on with his vision and his depth perception. He’s already walked into four people and two walls, and each time all he could do was burst into barking laughter.
“I need to see an eye doctor,” he tells Drake, batting at his roommate’s arm and trying to swallow his chortlings. “I really need to. I’m seeing two of you, man. Two.”
Drake snickers and pulls Josh’s head into the crook of his neck. “No, Joshie. You’re just drunk. I promise your eyesight will be back to normal. Tomorrow.”
Josh moans a little and clutches at Drake’s jacket. “But I want it to be better now!”
He rubs soothing circles against Josh’s back and grins sloppily at the sound of Josh’s continued moaning.
“Okay, okay. I think it’s time to get you back to the dorm. Let’s go, Joshie. Wanna go to bed now?”
Wobbly and disoriented, Josh nods and lets Drake yank him into a standing position. As they leave he feels people patting his shoulder, whooping and shouting, “Yeah, Nichols! Parker! See you guys later! Awesome time tonight, man!”
Josh thinks he manages to wave in response, because he has friends now, friends! And it makes him kind of want to get up on top of a table and dance and sing.
“No way, Joshie. You’ve already done that one tonight. I think everybody’s had enough of you belting out acapella renditions of 90’s boy bands’ songs. In fact, this only reminds me that I need to help you and your terrible musical taste.”
As the two of them stumbled down the four blocks it takes to get back to their dorm building, Drake rants on about what kind of artists he’s so sure Josh will absolutely love if he just gives them a chance. Between the two of them, they have to help one another get the card key through the slot to open the door of the building and figuring out which number in the elevator is their floor takes a few good seconds of body bending laughs.
Josh’s fingers drop the keys to their door and Drake has to swoop in with his own to save the day. The door swings open and the two boys tumble through the frame, their hands clutching at each other to try and keep their balance in check.
“Bed, Joshie. Come on, let’s get you to your bed.”
Drake leads Josh towards his bed and pushes him onto the neatly made comforter. Josh’s fingers keep their grip, though, and Drake ends up falling over and onto Josh’s sprawled body.
“Whoa,” Josh huffs, his nose inches away from Drake’s right ear. “You fell on me.”
Drake nods his head and smiles down at Josh. “I did. And now that I’m here, what are you going to do?”
Josh’s brow furrows as he tries to think about what he could possibly do with a sloppy drunk Drake laying on his chest, but his thinking stops when he feels the warm press of Drake’s lips at the corner of his mouth.
“Hey! What are you - “ And then suddenly Drake’s kissing his lips and Josh can’t think nor breathe nor see straight. Which is really starting to bother him, especially when he begins to realize the double entendre that it implies. And something inside of him tells him that he should push Drake away and tell him that he isn’t gay, no matter his eyesight, and that he doesn’t think that making out with one’s roommate is a good idea at all.
But then something else in Josh says, ‘Hell yes! HELL YES! Take it, Josh Nichols, TAKE IT ALL!’ and Josh is pretty sure that it isn’t something that came purely from him, because he simply does not say things like that and -
“Josh. I’m trying to kiss you and you keep saying things that don’t make sense.” Josh blinks up at Drake and stammers before Drake bends down and plants another kiss onto Josh’s lips. “In other words, shut up and go with it, okay?”
So Josh does. And it feels amazing. Drake’s lips are so soft and warm and they send tingles down Josh’s back and make him clench tighter at the fabric of Drake’s jacket. Which really shouldn’t be on him anymore, Josh decides as he claws at it and tugs at it until Drake is shrugging out of it and letting it fall onto the floor.
Then Josh decides (because he’s in a deciding mood now, because so far the decisions he’s made tonight have been awesome) that he needs to feel all of Drake, so he musters the energy to flip them so he’s the one pressing Drake into the mattress, legs tangling together in a mess of rough denim and pulsing body heat.
When he feels Drake’s tongue moving behind Drake’s lips, Josh growls a little and nips at Drake’s bottom lip in invitation. Drake gasps and opens, pressing his tongue against and into Josh’s mouth. The velvety slide of tongue against tongue releases something in Josh, and suddenly all his heat shoots to a lower part of his body. He moans softly and thrusts against Drake’s hips (to-be-officially complaint number 102, because a person should not have hips that make Josh want to do such sinful things, such terrible and wonderful sinful things).
“Fuck, Josh. Oh, Josh, please, don’t stop,” Drake grunts against Josh’s lips, his knees lifting to bracket Josh’s thighs. Josh moans again and lets his hips roll against Drake’s, the sweet sensation of pleasure pulsing through his entire being overwhelming all his senses.
Josh can’t keep his kisses steady anymore, his concentration focused on the feel of Drake’s hardened dick pressing against his own through the two layers of jeans. He pants against the side of Drake’s head and keeps his hands gripping Drake’s sides as he keeps thrusting. Drake’s mumblings are incoherent at this point and he silences himself by latching onto Josh’s neck and sucking, hard.
Josh groans and thrusts desperate and rough one last time, waves of pleasure overcoming him. Drake shuffles around from beneath Josh’s suddenly motionless body, his mewls of frustration making Josh smile stupidly.
“Oh, come on Josh. Goddammit!” Josh brings his lips back to Drake’s and snakes his hand down to Drake’s hard on. It only takes three uncoordinated strokes against the fabric of his jeans and Drake is coming, his fingers winding up into Josh’s hair and his voice cracking as he cries out into Josh’s mouth.
The two boys lay there for a moment, both panting and trying to keep their eyes from sliding shut. Finally, Josh picks his head up from Drake’s shoulder and whispers, “So. Um. Was it good for you?”
Drake’s lips curl into a wry smile before answering. “I would say so. Don’t know why we haven’t done that sooner.”
Josh feels his brain ringing in his head as he stammers,“I thought you were straight. I mean, I’m straight! I mean, I don’t know.”
Suddenly feeling incredibly sober, Josh wants nothing more than to bury himself under his covers and hide forever, even if he’s just had the single greatest orgasm of his life. Drake only chuckles and gently runs his fingers through Josh’s hair.
“Well, I’ve thought you were a little queerish from day one. And I totally didn’t believe those rumors about you and the Crenshaw Creature.”
Josh scowls but doesn’t pull away from Drake’s touch. “Why? Is it so hard to believe that I could score with Mindy?”
“Not at all. More like I don’t think the bitch would ever have the desire to unclamp her legs and let another person close enough to stick it in her.”
Sighing in exasperation, Josh tries to explain, “Mindy’s not a bitch, no matter what you may think about her. And I’ll bet that when the right guy comes into her life, she’ll be more than happy to - “
Drake reaches up to push a kiss against Josh’s lips, effectively silencing him. Josh’s face falls into a serene smile as Drake presses his nose against Josh’s.
“Also. I kind of read your diary.”
And then all of Josh’s calmness from the kissing lips and kissing noses is immediately out the window. He pulls away from Drake’s face, forehead furrowing with panicked confusion. “What? What diary? I don’t keep a diary. What are you talking about?”
“You know, that notebook you’re always scribbling in. I read it the other day and saw how neurotic you are. And insecure. And how much you write about me. Which is a lot, by the way. And I thought - “
“And you thought what? That I had some stupid crush on you?”
Drake thinks for a moment before nodding. “Well, yeah. Why not?”
“Maybe because I don’t!”
Shrugging his shoulders, Drake smiles and presses a finger into Josh’s neck. “Something tells me that you don’t hate me as much as you think you do.”
Josh groans in frustration and lets his head drop into the comforter below Drake. “I don’t care anymore. I’m tired and I think I’m starting to get a headache. I’m going to bed now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Josh rolls off of Drake and waits to feel him leave. When Drake doesn’t, only moves a little closer to Drake’s side, he asks, “Aren’t you going to move? You’re in my bed, you know.”
“Oh, I know. But have you seen my bed? It’s a mess!”
And there’s so much that Josh should say (something like, ‘Well, that’s your own damn fault!’ or ‘Maybe if you had actually read my so-called diary, we wouldn’t be in this situation.’), but in the end he decides that it just isn’t worth it. Instead, he closes his eyes and lets his body fall into a deep sleep.
He kind of likes the warmth of Drake’s side against his own.