Court and Spark for tcaramel - Part 2
Court and Spark by almostblue & roebling
Part 1
Himchan doesn't bother going to school the next day.
He texts the girls so they know he's not dead, and he packs a change of clothing in his backpack when he leaves the house in the morning. It's not like anyone's going to check up on him. His grades are almost perfect; he's never been caught skipping before. No one has ever assumed that awkward, shy Kim Himchan would do something as daring as skipping class.
He changes in the bathroom of the nearest train station and then slips his headphones in, hiding his face and hair under a snapback. Usually when he skips he just heads towards one of the big universities; he's old enough to pass as a college student, and no one's ever recognized him or turned him in.
He's free to wander around all day and listen to music and feel miserable to his heart's content.
He just needs a day off, that's all. He needs one day to get his mask back in place before he has to deal with Yoo Youngjae pretending he doesn't know him; or worse, with Youngjae whispering rumors about him to draw the other guys off Youngjae's scent. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Himchan doesn't think the guys in the music department will care nearly as much as the guys in his freshman gym class obviously did, but he's not looking forward to it again. There's a reason he's three years into his high school career and still doesn't have a single male friend.
Around 4pm, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Himchan's camped out in a park near Seoul University, catching up on some reading for one of his advanced music theory classes. When he opens the text, it's from Hana.
Yoo Youngjae just came up to me and asked about you??? when were you going to tell us you got in???
Himchan rolls his eyes, and doesn't reply. Before he can even put his phone down, it buzzes again.
He says he's sorry about yesterday and he wanted me to give you his number????????? Kim Himchan you tell me what is going on right now. He asked for yours and I told him I don't give it out and so then he gave me his?? Himchan you know what happened last time, please don't tell me you….
Himchan shakes his head, and deletes the rest of the message.
No, he thinks, putting his phone down and ignoring it as it continues to buzz for the rest of the afternoon.
No, he's not falling for that one again.
At least Hana's got his back.
--
It’s late evening by the time Himchan emerges from the subway stop near his house. He’s tired and hungry and even though the ache of fear and hurt has subsided a little it’s far from gone. He just feels so dumb. He’s been careful all this time; it was stupid to go up to Youngjae at the club, stupider to go to choir practice, the stupidest move yet to audition. It’s been a whole day since he left Youngjae in the coffee shop. The whole school could know by now.
He stops at the convenience store on the corner to buy some kimbap. His mom will have dinner waiting but he doesn’t feel like sitting at the table and listening to happy idle conversation. He’ll beg off with a stomach ache and eat in his room.
He’s practicing his sick and pitiful face as he rounds the corner to his block, and he freezes--there’s someone sitting on his stoop, hunched over head to knees. He pauses. If it’s someone here to mess with him, he can yell loud enough that someone inside the house will come out. Himchan’s pretty good at being loud, when he needs to.
Carefully, nervously, he walks closer. This is his block and his house. He didn’t do anything wrong, and as scared as he is, he’s not going to run away. He’s had enough of that, and there’s nowhere else he can run to. His stomach sinks as he gets closer. It’s Youngjae, like he thought, but he’s asleep, hair falling in his face and mouth slightly open.
“Hey,” he says. Nothing. He taps Youngjae with the toe of his sneaker. “Hey!”
Youngjae blinks, slow. He looks so young like this-- red-cheeked and tired-- younger even than he looked at the club that night. Himchan knows that doesn’t matter; he learned a long time ago that even pretty faces can hurt you.
“What are you doing here?” Himchan crosses his arms over his chest. He’s stealing himself. “How did you get my address?”
“Hyung,” he says, sitting up. “I brought you coffee.” He holds up the plastic cup, and smiles-- but his smile fades. “Oh. It all melted.”
Himchan sighs. “What are you doing here? Didn’t my mom tell you to get lost or something?”
Youngjae shakes his head. “I told your mom I was bringing you a book you forgot at school. ” He opens his bag and pulls out a stack of papers. “I have your homework, too. Here.”
Himchan frowns. “Thanks,” he says. “That’s a pretty elaborate plan just to bring me a few pages of history homework.”
“Teachers like me,” Youngjae says. “And none of your friends would tell me anything. You have really good friends, hyung. Daehyun would probably sell me out in a heartbeat for a candy bar.”
Himchan breathes in through his nose. There are kids playing down the block, happy and oblivious. Youngjae is still sitting on the stoop. It’s strange to look down and talk to him. He doesn’t seem angry, but that doesn’t mean Himchan’s glad to see him.
“Fine,” he says. “Thanks for bringing me my homework.” He blinks. “Like I said yesterday, I’m gonna tell Kang seonsaengnim that I can’t do choir, and … we can just pretend like we never met each other. Right?” He can’t keep the shrill, worried note out of his voice.
Youngjae shakes his head. “Hyung, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to surprise you like that. I’m not mad.” He stands up. His nose is red and there are wrinkles on his cheeks from sleep that haven’t faded. “I didn’t go to Mujigae by accident.”
Himchan snorts. “I knew that,” he says. “Like I said, nobody does.”
Youngjae shrugs. “I felt so stupid,” he says. “Plain and boring and you were so handsome and I just … I was nervous.”
“Yeah,” Himchan says. “Well, you’re not the only one.” He swallows. “I was careful for three years. Nobody knew, except my best friends. And now the cat’s out of the bag, right? So excuse me for being a little freaked out right now.”
Youngjae shakes his head. “I didn’t come here to …” He shakes his head and starts over. “I wanted to apologize. That’s why I brought the coffee. Since you didn’t get to drink yours yesterday.” He bites his lip, and damnit, Himchan doesn’t need him to do anything that draws attention to that particular body part. The last thing he wants to remember is that kiss.
“I wasn’t mad yesterday because it was you, or because you’re gay or anything. I was just … When you gave me your number I couldn’t even believe how lucky I was, and when I called and it was fake …” He shakes his head. “It sucked, hyung. I really liked Minkyu, and when I realized it was you...I just liked you more.”
Himchan bites his lip.
"I don't get it," He says finally. "Why would you like me more like this? I'm just..." He waves a hand at his disheveled, makeup-less self. "I'm not interesting. I'm just another music nerd."
"You're one of the most talented people I've ever met," Youngjae says firmly. "Hyung, I could care less about the piano, and I don't think anyone in that room drew a breath until you were finished. You're amazing. And--" He holds up a hand as Himchan begins to protest. "And besides, I think you look cute in your baseball hat."
Himchan can feel a blush rising on his cheeks.
"Isn't this the part where your friends come out and beat me up?" he says weakly. He's not expecting Youngjae to burst out laughing.
"Daehyun couldn't beat anyone up if his life depended on it," Youngjae says, snickering to himself like what Himchan has implied is hilarious. "Jongup, maybe, but he's the nicest person in the world. and Junhong apologizes when he steps on ants on the sidewalk."
Himchan had to admit that if Youngjae's friends are all like Daehyun, then Himchan's pretty sure he could take them.
He swallows, and sits down next to Youngjae on his stoop.
"Thanks for the coffee," he says, even though it's all melted. "And i'm sorry I lied to you. I should have just told you, but I--" He takes a deep breath. "I haven't had the best history with that kind of thing."
"I can imagine," Youngjae says quietly. He carefully brushes his thumb over the back of Himchan's hand, eyes flicking up to Himchan's face, waiting for Himchan to pull away. Himchan stays utterly still. Youngjae's hands are so soft; they're small enough to fit perfectly in Himchan's own.
Himchan closes his eyes, praying he's not making a huge mistake, and then he turns his hand over, linking his fingers with Youngjae's own.
Youngjae's smile is sudden and blinding. In the fading light, his eyelashes are are tipped with gold.
"Do you want to come to Mujigae with us this week?" Himchan says.
"Who's asking?" Youngjae says. "Minkyu, or Himchan?"
"Kim Himchan," Himchan says, smiling helplessly. "They guy who's about to give you his real phone number, since you've already figured out where I live and memorized my coffee order."
"Then yes," Youngjae says. "Yes, I do. Are the girls going to be there? Can I bring Daehyun?"
Himchan blinks. "Hana will definitely be there," he says. "Wait, you want to bring Daehyun on our date?"
Youngjae laughs. "No, I want to bring him so I can watch his eyes bug out. Besides, he seemed--interested when I told him about it. Like, a little too interested, if you know what I mean. But no. I figure he can hang out with the girls."
Himchan nods. If nothing else, it's an excuse to get everyone in one place, which usually ends up being a good time. And if he'll be there with Youngjae--on a date--
"I can't promise I'm not going to dress up," Himchan says. "I like myself better that way. It's who I really am."
"You could wear a paper bag and I'd still show up," Youngjae says. "I think the real problem is dressing me up."
"Oh, we've got a whole week," Himchan says, grinning and squeezing Youngjae's hand. "That's plently of time to get you some new clothes. If--If you'll let me."
"Why not," Youngjae says, shuffling even closer, so their shoulders are touching. "You made my hair look better. I suppose I can trust you with my wardrobe." Himchan can't quite believe that he's here, on the stoop of his own house, holding hands with a guy he really likes. It seems like something out of a movie.
"This is so," Himchan says. "This is actually happening, right? I'm not just having a psychotic break or something."
Youngjae laughs again, reaching over to swat at Himchan's baseball cap. "No, pabo," he says fondly. "I promise we're right here. Together."
Part 1
Himchan doesn't bother going to school the next day.
He texts the girls so they know he's not dead, and he packs a change of clothing in his backpack when he leaves the house in the morning. It's not like anyone's going to check up on him. His grades are almost perfect; he's never been caught skipping before. No one has ever assumed that awkward, shy Kim Himchan would do something as daring as skipping class.
He changes in the bathroom of the nearest train station and then slips his headphones in, hiding his face and hair under a snapback. Usually when he skips he just heads towards one of the big universities; he's old enough to pass as a college student, and no one's ever recognized him or turned him in.
He's free to wander around all day and listen to music and feel miserable to his heart's content.
He just needs a day off, that's all. He needs one day to get his mask back in place before he has to deal with Yoo Youngjae pretending he doesn't know him; or worse, with Youngjae whispering rumors about him to draw the other guys off Youngjae's scent. It wouldn't be the first time it's happened. Himchan doesn't think the guys in the music department will care nearly as much as the guys in his freshman gym class obviously did, but he's not looking forward to it again. There's a reason he's three years into his high school career and still doesn't have a single male friend.
Around 4pm, his phone buzzes in his pocket. Himchan's camped out in a park near Seoul University, catching up on some reading for one of his advanced music theory classes. When he opens the text, it's from Hana.
Yoo Youngjae just came up to me and asked about you??? when were you going to tell us you got in???
Himchan rolls his eyes, and doesn't reply. Before he can even put his phone down, it buzzes again.
He says he's sorry about yesterday and he wanted me to give you his number????????? Kim Himchan you tell me what is going on right now. He asked for yours and I told him I don't give it out and so then he gave me his?? Himchan you know what happened last time, please don't tell me you….
Himchan shakes his head, and deletes the rest of the message.
No, he thinks, putting his phone down and ignoring it as it continues to buzz for the rest of the afternoon.
No, he's not falling for that one again.
At least Hana's got his back.
--
It’s late evening by the time Himchan emerges from the subway stop near his house. He’s tired and hungry and even though the ache of fear and hurt has subsided a little it’s far from gone. He just feels so dumb. He’s been careful all this time; it was stupid to go up to Youngjae at the club, stupider to go to choir practice, the stupidest move yet to audition. It’s been a whole day since he left Youngjae in the coffee shop. The whole school could know by now.
He stops at the convenience store on the corner to buy some kimbap. His mom will have dinner waiting but he doesn’t feel like sitting at the table and listening to happy idle conversation. He’ll beg off with a stomach ache and eat in his room.
He’s practicing his sick and pitiful face as he rounds the corner to his block, and he freezes--there’s someone sitting on his stoop, hunched over head to knees. He pauses. If it’s someone here to mess with him, he can yell loud enough that someone inside the house will come out. Himchan’s pretty good at being loud, when he needs to.
Carefully, nervously, he walks closer. This is his block and his house. He didn’t do anything wrong, and as scared as he is, he’s not going to run away. He’s had enough of that, and there’s nowhere else he can run to. His stomach sinks as he gets closer. It’s Youngjae, like he thought, but he’s asleep, hair falling in his face and mouth slightly open.
“Hey,” he says. Nothing. He taps Youngjae with the toe of his sneaker. “Hey!”
Youngjae blinks, slow. He looks so young like this-- red-cheeked and tired-- younger even than he looked at the club that night. Himchan knows that doesn’t matter; he learned a long time ago that even pretty faces can hurt you.
“What are you doing here?” Himchan crosses his arms over his chest. He’s stealing himself. “How did you get my address?”
“Hyung,” he says, sitting up. “I brought you coffee.” He holds up the plastic cup, and smiles-- but his smile fades. “Oh. It all melted.”
Himchan sighs. “What are you doing here? Didn’t my mom tell you to get lost or something?”
Youngjae shakes his head. “I told your mom I was bringing you a book you forgot at school. ” He opens his bag and pulls out a stack of papers. “I have your homework, too. Here.”
Himchan frowns. “Thanks,” he says. “That’s a pretty elaborate plan just to bring me a few pages of history homework.”
“Teachers like me,” Youngjae says. “And none of your friends would tell me anything. You have really good friends, hyung. Daehyun would probably sell me out in a heartbeat for a candy bar.”
Himchan breathes in through his nose. There are kids playing down the block, happy and oblivious. Youngjae is still sitting on the stoop. It’s strange to look down and talk to him. He doesn’t seem angry, but that doesn’t mean Himchan’s glad to see him.
“Fine,” he says. “Thanks for bringing me my homework.” He blinks. “Like I said yesterday, I’m gonna tell Kang seonsaengnim that I can’t do choir, and … we can just pretend like we never met each other. Right?” He can’t keep the shrill, worried note out of his voice.
Youngjae shakes his head. “Hyung, I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to surprise you like that. I’m not mad.” He stands up. His nose is red and there are wrinkles on his cheeks from sleep that haven’t faded. “I didn’t go to Mujigae by accident.”
Himchan snorts. “I knew that,” he says. “Like I said, nobody does.”
Youngjae shrugs. “I felt so stupid,” he says. “Plain and boring and you were so handsome and I just … I was nervous.”
“Yeah,” Himchan says. “Well, you’re not the only one.” He swallows. “I was careful for three years. Nobody knew, except my best friends. And now the cat’s out of the bag, right? So excuse me for being a little freaked out right now.”
Youngjae shakes his head. “I didn’t come here to …” He shakes his head and starts over. “I wanted to apologize. That’s why I brought the coffee. Since you didn’t get to drink yours yesterday.” He bites his lip, and damnit, Himchan doesn’t need him to do anything that draws attention to that particular body part. The last thing he wants to remember is that kiss.
“I wasn’t mad yesterday because it was you, or because you’re gay or anything. I was just … When you gave me your number I couldn’t even believe how lucky I was, and when I called and it was fake …” He shakes his head. “It sucked, hyung. I really liked Minkyu, and when I realized it was you...I just liked you more.”
Himchan bites his lip.
"I don't get it," He says finally. "Why would you like me more like this? I'm just..." He waves a hand at his disheveled, makeup-less self. "I'm not interesting. I'm just another music nerd."
"You're one of the most talented people I've ever met," Youngjae says firmly. "Hyung, I could care less about the piano, and I don't think anyone in that room drew a breath until you were finished. You're amazing. And--" He holds up a hand as Himchan begins to protest. "And besides, I think you look cute in your baseball hat."
Himchan can feel a blush rising on his cheeks.
"Isn't this the part where your friends come out and beat me up?" he says weakly. He's not expecting Youngjae to burst out laughing.
"Daehyun couldn't beat anyone up if his life depended on it," Youngjae says, snickering to himself like what Himchan has implied is hilarious. "Jongup, maybe, but he's the nicest person in the world. and Junhong apologizes when he steps on ants on the sidewalk."
Himchan had to admit that if Youngjae's friends are all like Daehyun, then Himchan's pretty sure he could take them.
He swallows, and sits down next to Youngjae on his stoop.
"Thanks for the coffee," he says, even though it's all melted. "And i'm sorry I lied to you. I should have just told you, but I--" He takes a deep breath. "I haven't had the best history with that kind of thing."
"I can imagine," Youngjae says quietly. He carefully brushes his thumb over the back of Himchan's hand, eyes flicking up to Himchan's face, waiting for Himchan to pull away. Himchan stays utterly still. Youngjae's hands are so soft; they're small enough to fit perfectly in Himchan's own.
Himchan closes his eyes, praying he's not making a huge mistake, and then he turns his hand over, linking his fingers with Youngjae's own.
Youngjae's smile is sudden and blinding. In the fading light, his eyelashes are are tipped with gold.
"Do you want to come to Mujigae with us this week?" Himchan says.
"Who's asking?" Youngjae says. "Minkyu, or Himchan?"
"Kim Himchan," Himchan says, smiling helplessly. "They guy who's about to give you his real phone number, since you've already figured out where I live and memorized my coffee order."
"Then yes," Youngjae says. "Yes, I do. Are the girls going to be there? Can I bring Daehyun?"
Himchan blinks. "Hana will definitely be there," he says. "Wait, you want to bring Daehyun on our date?"
Youngjae laughs. "No, I want to bring him so I can watch his eyes bug out. Besides, he seemed--interested when I told him about it. Like, a little too interested, if you know what I mean. But no. I figure he can hang out with the girls."
Himchan nods. If nothing else, it's an excuse to get everyone in one place, which usually ends up being a good time. And if he'll be there with Youngjae--on a date--
"I can't promise I'm not going to dress up," Himchan says. "I like myself better that way. It's who I really am."
"You could wear a paper bag and I'd still show up," Youngjae says. "I think the real problem is dressing me up."
"Oh, we've got a whole week," Himchan says, grinning and squeezing Youngjae's hand. "That's plently of time to get you some new clothes. If--If you'll let me."
"Why not," Youngjae says, shuffling even closer, so their shoulders are touching. "You made my hair look better. I suppose I can trust you with my wardrobe." Himchan can't quite believe that he's here, on the stoop of his own house, holding hands with a guy he really likes. It seems like something out of a movie.
"This is so," Himchan says. "This is actually happening, right? I'm not just having a psychotic break or something."
Youngjae laughs again, reaching over to swat at Himchan's baseball cap. "No, pabo," he says fondly. "I promise we're right here. Together."