I make a joke... I am in tears... I have concerns, they lead to tears.

I can't take this anymore... so much of the past is coming back to life... and regardless if I am the reason behind what plagues me, it still hurts.

I am living in a certain surreal existance. Nothing has seemed real for probably at least a year now... I feel like I am not fully here, ever. I feel floaty, and at 75% mental compacity. Nothing is real, and I know it's the anti-depressent I take daily. It's time to come off, I want to feel alive again... even if I get nervous as hell again, it's ( Read more... )

I love doves... especially one.

I got back together with Adriana ( Read more... )

I am done with meaningful realtionships. All I do is hurt myself... I fall in love, and I get hurt. It's all that ever happens.

Adriana broke up with me... she feels she can't open up around me... Whatever.

I should just got get laid... or go to the strip club.

I feel like I got more from her then what anyone else will give me... but why do I feel it's not enough? I love her to death... but all I ever do is hurt her. I guess I am one of those people who don't learn from their mistakes.

I see myself slipping into the same mistakes I made with past relationship(s) already ( Read more... )

I've decided that in order to get out of this depressive state I need a project... and this project might be a big one ( Read more... )

My little scirocco is going to kick ass one of these days...

F is for fighting, r is for red,
Ancestors’ blood in battles they’ve shed.
E, we elect them, e, we eject them,
In the land of the free, and the home of the brave.
D, for your dying, o, your overture,
M, they will cover your grave with manure.
This spells out freedom, it means nothing to me,
As long as there’s a p.m.r.c.