Young and Lovestruck [Skins; Emily/Naomi]
Title: Young and Lovestruck
Pairing: Little Emily/Little Naomi, Little Katie
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of the Skins characters belong to me; I’m just borrowing them for a bit.
Summary: Emily Fitch is five years old and has just started school when she takes a special liking to little Naomi Campbell.
AN: I was bored with writers’ block and this is what came out on a blank word page.
ETA: Idea for this was stolen from the lovely falsealarm715 whose post here inspired me :)
‘They’re two young girls, they went to primary school together and Emily had a crush on Naomi all through primary school...’ - Kathryn Prescott from the AE interview.
“Just look at you both,” their Mum said again with tears in her eyes and a grin so wide that Emily actually felt a little scared by it.
The attention they were receiving made Emily shuffle a little uncomfortably in her new uniform and she didn’t understand why last year she got to wear her own clothes when she and Katie went off to play with the other children but now that they were five and going off to ‘big’ school that they had to all wear the same thing - white button-up shirt, covered up by an itchy jumper, a gray skirt, long white socks and shiny black shoes.
Katie was beaming a smile back at their parents as their Dad blinded them once again with his camera’s bright flash and Emily blinked rapidly as Katie nudged her in the side. “Smile silly, we want to look, like, nice in the pictures.”
Emily merely nodded in response and curled her lips up into a smile as their Mum reached up and fussed with their hair again, readjusting their little bows before stepping back and signalling for their Dad to photograph them again.
“I still can’t believe it, my little princesses, all grown up,” he said proudly looking over top of his camera at them. “Seems like only yesterday that you two were in nappies, doesn’t it Jen?”
“Yes... yes, it does.” She wiped at the tears sneaking out of her eyes and Emily frowned a little, still not really understanding why grown-ups cried when they were happy. Surely crying was for when you were upset or hurt, like that time Katie had tripped her up in the garden with her skipping rope and she’d fallen down and scraped her knee.
Their Dad kneeled down a moment later and helped them zip up their coats and pull on their bags and then just as he was playfully tweaking her on the nose and making her laugh, Emily heard her mother say to Katie, “Now you’re the older twin Katiekins, so you’re to look out for Emsy, okay?”
Katie nodded her head. “Yeah, okay. I promise.”
A second later Katie grasped her hand and entwined their fingers, leading the way to the car and pulled Emily to follow behind her. And just like that Katie had been put in charge; she was the leader and Emily the follower.
-----
‘Big’ school, as it turned out, was really rather scary.
Their mum and dad had dropped them off in at their new school, in their new classroom and Emily had immediately felt frightened by all the children that surrounded her. She didn’t recognise any of them, they weren’t the same girls and boys that she’d gone to playschool with and without warning her eyes welled up and she started crying, calling out for her mum and dad to stay with her - of course they hadn’t though, she’d known that they wouldn't - they’d already sat her and Katie down and explained that ‘big’ school was a place for lots of children to be brave and learn and make friends on their own before coming back home to their parents later on that day.
Katie was still there with her though and she pulled her into a hug a second later, soothing a hand through her hair. “Don’t cry Emsy. Mum and Dad will be back for us later, yeah? Come on, we’ll have fun with the other children.”
Emily felt her bottom lip tremble but nodded her head anyway as Katie reached for her hand again. “Okay.”
She held on to Katie’s hand tightly for that first day and for the first few weeks after that and let Katie do all the talking why she stayed quiet but close - it became almost normal then, that she was the shy twin and Katie was the one who made friends for them.
-----
“Put that down,” Katie said, pulling the book out of her hands one break-time and throwing it carelessly to the floor. “We’re playing hopscotch.”
Emily frowned back at her. “But I don’t want to play hopscotch, I’m rubbish at it.”
“Emsy,” Katie warned, pulling her to her feet. “You’re only rubbish at it because you spend too much time being a stupidhead that reads books like serious old library ladies. You can get better at it though, I’ll teach you, like, how to hopscotch proper, because I’m good at it, all right?”
“But I want to read,” Emily murmured quietly looking down at the ground.
“I said we’re playing hopscotch,” Katie said a little louder until Emily looked up at her. “Tommy Jenkins said if we both show him how good we are at it he’ll let us look at his boyparts.”
“I don’t want to look at boyparts,” Emily cried as her face wrinkled up in disgust and she pulled her hand back from Katie’s and moved to pick up her book. “Boys and their parts are yucky, Kay.”
Katie tugged the book back out of her hands again. “How would you know, Emsy? You’ve never seen one, have you? I saw Kevin Tuttle’s last Tuesday but he wouldn’t let me touch it, but Tommy said we could, like, touch his as well as look at it, so you have to come and do hopscotch.”
Emily wanted to say no again but Katie had already decided and was pulling her outside towards the playground - there was no point trying to argue really, she never got to do what she wanted to do anyway.
-----
She fell over during her third attempt at hopscotch and Katie looked down at her with an annoyed frown that made Emily pick herself up off of the floor quickly and shrink off to the side so that Katie could show off once again.
“It’s easy, see?” Katie called to her once again. “Keep trying.”
Emily shook her head. “But I’m tired; I don’t want to play anymore.”
“Keep trying!” Katie ordered loudly and Emily felt tears stinging her eyes as the other children giggled at her and she shook her head at Katie’s instruction and took off running back in to the school.
It was probably because she wasn’t looking where she was going, that Emily bumped into someone forcefully and knocked them down to the ground.
The girl was scowling up at her from the floor as the shock wore off and Emily flailed her hands about apologetically. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“It’s okay, don’t worry,” the girl said as she stood and rubbed at her bottom. “Think you broke my bum bone though.”
Emily giggled and wiped at her eyes so that her view of the girl became clearer - bright blue eyes were staring back at her and Emily could have sworn the girl’s head was surrounded by a glowing bright light.
“Woah,” Emily breathed a second later, mesmerised by the sight of her - she’d seen it before, the bright glowing lights, in a film or in a book, she couldn’t remember where exactly but it was so pretty that she wanted to reach out and touch it.
The girl looked at her curiously. “Are you okay? You look a little sick.”
Emily snapped out of her trance and lowered her hand, not realising that she’d even lifted it. “Yeah, I’m fine thanks.”
“Okay, good.” The girl smiled briefly at her before waving her hand. “Well, I guess I’ll see you then.”
A moment later she was walking away and Emily found herself staring after her, feeling oddly happy even though she’d just been in tears and amazed that hair could actually be so blonde and then she remembered that she didn’t even know who this girl was.
“Wait,” Emily called after her. “What’s your name?”
The girl turned back to her with a small smile. “Naomi.”
And with that, she was gone and Emily was left alone to wonder why it was that she’d never noticed this ‘Naomi’ girl before.
-----
Emily saw Naomi around at school more often then, not that she ever had the guts to speak to her, but sometimes when they were all having a break or eating lunch Emily would find her eyes automatically being drawn to wherever Naomi just happened to be.
The glow that surrounded her was always there and Emily was fascinated by it - would often spend time zoning out during her lessons and picturing Naomi’s smile and Naomi’s eyes and would even sometimes try and doodle her name in the margin of her paper, the spelling probably not correct but close enough.
She didn’t tell Katie about it, not even when she caught Naomi’s eye one day and Naomi had smiled back at her with a small wave and Katie had asked, “Emsy, who’s that? She looks cool.”
She’d just shrugged in response to Katie’s question, wanting just for once, not to have to share everything and Katie had just rolled her eyes at her and said, “Of course you don’t know. You don’t know anything.”
Emily had nodded. Maybe it was true, maybe she didn’t know anything, but she did know Naomi’s name and Katie didn’t - surely that had to mean something for once. Emily just wished she knew what exactly that was.
-----
“Terry can be your husband,” Katie said and pointed him out to Emily across the playground.
Emily shook her head. “I don’t want a husband.”
“You have to have a husband when we’re playing house, Emsy,” Katie explained and picked up one of the dolls and passed it to her.
Emily looked down at the doll with one eye and was reminded briefly of the matching dolls she and Katie had gotten for their birthday the year before - the doll that Katie had lost and the doll that Katie had then taken from Emily.
She passed Katie the doll back and looked up at her. “I don’t like Terry though; he smells and always tries to look up my skirt.”
“So?”
“So, can’t I be married to Helen instead?” Emily asked pointing Katie in Helen’s direction. “She’s much nicer than Terry and always looks pretty and is always nice to me.”
Katie giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. “Nooo, silly! Girls have to marry boys. Girls can’t marry other girls.”
Emily didn’t understand. “Why not?”
“Because girls have to, like, have babies and look after the house and boys are the ones that order the babies from the special shop and fix the cars and stuffs.” Katie handed her the doll again. “Girls can’t do those things so they can’t marry other girls really, can they? That’d just be a stupid.”
“But...” Emily started and then stopped to think for a moment. “What if a girl wants to marry another girl? What if she doesn’t like boyparts and having a husband? What if she wants a wife?”
Katie shook her head. “You have to be married to Terry, Emsy. That’s the rules.” She called Terry and John over to them and then turned back to her to add, “No girl wants to have a wife.”
Katie had already gone to pick out some rings from the Haribo sweet-mix for them to use when Emily caught sight of Naomi passing by and whispered, “But I do...”
-----
It hadn’t taken long for Emily to realise that Naomi was a bit of a loner.
They weren’t in the same class, so they didn’t have any lessons together but Emily would often linger behind after her own lessons just to see Naomi emerging from her classroom, last, behind all of the other children.
And at break, she’d see Naomi sitting off to the side of the playground, near the big tree, always reading some kind of book - Emily always wanted to go over to her and ask her what she was reading or whether she’d like to join in with them but before she could even think to approach her Katie would latch onto her hand and pull her towards their group of friends, telling them all what game they’d be playing this time.
Emily would see her at lunch too - she wasn’t like the other children, Naomi didn’t take her lunch to school in a colourful lunchbox like they did. There was no sparkly My Little Pony picture on the side of her lunchbox like Katie’s and no picture of Barbie on it like Emily’s (which she’d only chosen because Katie had told her she couldn’t have Mr Men because that was boyish and Barbie did actually look rather pretty standing on the beach eating her strawberry ice-cream). Naomi’s lunchbox was just plain and see through and sometimes Emily would catch a flash of green or orange through the plastic before Naomi would pull out a carrot stick or a celery stick and start munching away on it cutely like a little chipmunk.
And maybe it was because of all of those reasons and because their teacher had told them it was Valentine’s Day soon and that they all had to spend an hour making someone special that they liked a card, that made Emily work particularly hard on the heart shaped one she was making - outlined in golden glitter (like Naomi’s glow) and little colourful sequins with a carefully written (double checked by sneaking a look at the folder of a girl in her class with the same name) ‘To Naomi, Love ? xxx’.
She made a rubbish card too - quickly and without much thought when Katie went to the toilet, just so that she’d have something to give to Terry when they were all asked to hand them out and hid the good one in her bag to give to Naomi later.
Emily didn’t see the harm in it - giving out the cards was all supposed to be a secret anyway.
-----
Giving it to Naomi turned out to be harder than Emily expected, she wasn’t quite sure what she was supposed to say given that her and Naomi had only ever had one conversation and shared only a handful of waves and smiles.
And so she settled for sneaking it into Naomi’s bag one break when Naomi had left it hanging up in the cloakroom - mystery was good anyway... or so her mum had told her, it kept romance alive, whatever the hell that was.
Emily had hidden behind some of the other coats then, and watched, waiting for the bell to go and for Naomi to come and pick up her bag. And when she finally did, Emily couldn’t contain the happy smile that appeared on her face as Naomi pulled the card from her bag with a surprised look as she read the back of it.
Naomi held onto the card and pulled her bag onto her back and Emily felt pleased with herself for coming up with such a good plan until Naomi took a step towards her and reached for her coat, revealing Emily in the process and letting out a shocked scream.
“Sorry,” Emily muttered, dropping her eyes to the floor in embarrassment.
Naomi was still looking at her when she looked back up, clutching the card to her chest. “You’re always saying that, y’know.”
“Yeah.” Emily nodded her head in agreement not knowing what else to say now that she was actually face to face with Naomi.
“What were you doing hiding behind the coats?”
Emily felt her cheeks flush. “I was... I-- I was playing hide and seek.”
“By yourself?” Naomi questioned. “That’s kind of stupid.”
“No.” Emily shook her head, trying to think of something else to say so that Naomi didn’t think she was weird. “There’s a group of us playing actually, and I’m just waiting to be found.”
“Right,” Naomi said, looking at her with a smile. “I don’t s’pose you saw who put the card in my bag did you?”
Emily shook her head frantically. “No. Sorry, I didn’t.”
“You said sorry again.” Naomi giggled, her face breaking out into a smile that made Emily’s tummy do a strange flip-flop. “Doesn’t matter anyway, it was probably just someone from my class playing a joke on me.”
“Why would you think that?” Emily asked stepping out from the coats.
Naomi looked away shyly and mumbled, “No one likes me here.”
“I do,” Emily blurted, the words out of her mouth before she could think to stop them. Naomi looked up at her again with an unreadable expression and Emily lowered her eyes a little. “Sorry.”
It was quiet for a few seconds before Naomi reached out and fumbled her fingers through Emily’s hair and finally said, “Your bow’s on the wonk.”
Emily smiled bashfully as Naomi pulled her hand away and lifted her own hand up to her bow. “Oh, thanks.”
“I have to go, my mum’s picking me up for the dentist, but... thanks.”
“For what?” Emily asked in confusion as Naomi started to walk away.
Naomi shrugged in response. “I don’t know,” she said, waving at Emily with the hand she was still holding onto the card with, so that the glitter glimmered in the light. “Just thanks.”
Emily watched her disappear around the corner and it was only when Katie came looking her a few minutes later, that she realised she was still smiling and standing in the same spot where Naomi had left her.
-----
Summer rolled around quickly and soon their teacher was handing out letters for them to take home about a school trip.
Katie had squealed excitedly at the thought of them not having to have lessons on the last Friday before they broke up for the summer holiday because their year group was getting to travel down to Burnham on Sea on a coach instead and spend the day playing on the beach and eating ice-cream.
Their Mum had taken the shopping and let them pick out a new pair of flip-flops, a hat, and a swimming costume - Emily had wanted to get a blue one because the colour reminded her of Naomi’s eyes but Katie had told her it was ugly and made her cry and in the end their mum had just picked out two of the pink ones that Katie had chosen to begin with.
Katie fell asleep on the coach journey there - they’d had to get up super early when it was still dark outside and Emily had squinted her eyes up at the sky as their dad buckled them into the car and tried to see if she could still see any stars and she didn’t understand why she couldn’t until had dad told her that the stars went to bed in the morning time - and Emily spent the journey peeking through the gap between the chairs to see if she could spot a glimpse of Naomi’s white blonde hair.
Their teachers kept them in groups as they all stepped off of the couch and Emily pushed up on her tiptoes just in time to see a Naomi being put in the other group as they started to make their way down to the beach.
She sat down as soon as they were allowed to play and was scooping sand into her bucket with her spade when Katie pushed it over and said, “We’re all going to play kiss chase and I’ve not let any of the smelly boys play this time.”
“I don’t want to get kissed by boys,” Emily replied, grasping some sand in her hands and letting the grains run free between her fingers.
Katie scrunched her face up at her answer. “Why not? Kissing boys is, like, the most important thing for girls, Emsy. We have to kiss boys.”
Emily shook her head again. “But boys are snotty and muddy and always pull our hair, I don’t like them. Girls are nicer; I want to kiss them instead.”
“You can’t, it’s yucky and gross.” Katie frowned down at her. “Terry said he wants to kiss you. You’re going to kiss him.”
“No!” Emily pushed Katie’s hand away as she tried to pull her up. “I don’t want to kiss boys. I want to kiss girls.”
“Fine,” Katie snapped. “You’re not allowed to play anymore, you’re a stupid fanny!”
Emily watched as Katie stood on the one sandcastle she had made before stalking off to her friends and she rubbed at the tears forming in her eyes angrily. Katie was just being mean and so she would have to have fun without her for the day.
She spent the afternoon building a sandcastle palace on her own and it wasn’t until she went down by the sea to look for some sea shells to decorate it with that she finally saw Naomi again.
She was standing in the sea so that the water just came up to her ankles with her arms held out wide and her head titled back to look up at the sky and it was only then, as the sun shined down on her brightly and made the slight glow that normally surround her burst brightly into a beautifully golden blaze that Emily finally remembered what it was that Naomi reminded her of.
“Wow,” Emily murmured, as the bright light forced her to squint just so that she could keep looking at Naomi properly and she found herself mesmerised by the way the light bounced off the water and shimmered in a way that made Naomi look like she was floating magnificently in the air.
Naomi turned to look at her a second later and Emily found herself drowning in the deep blue of her eyes as Naomi smiled at her and beckoned her closer. “You should come into the water, it’s nice and warm. I promise.”
Emily felt her feet moving automatically and soon she was standing in the water next to Naomi, looking up at her and studying her closely as if it was the first moment she’d ever truly seen her.
The moment Naomi’s eyes locked onto hers, Emily breathed out quietly, “You’re an angel...”
Naomi giggled at her. “I’m just a girl, you silly ‘nana.”
“No.” Emily shook her head as the sun shone through Naomi’s hair and made it sparkle and look silver. “You’re an angel... a real angel.”
Naomi looked at her for a long moment and smiled shyly at her before leaning in and pressing her lips against her cheek. Emily closed her eyes as Naomi’s mouth lingered against her cheek, warm and soft and gentle as she pulled away slowly and left her kiss behind.
Emily thought she heard Naomi whisper, “You’re sweet, Ems” but when she opened her eyes Naomi was already gone and she turned quickly to see Naomi walking back up the beach. And all she could do to reassure herself that it had been real was to lift her fingertips up to cheek to find that her skin still tingled from where Naomi’s lips must have been pressed against her skin.
She knew then, that she’d just gotten her first kiss, and she smiled brightly to herself when she realised Katie had been wrong, getting kissed by a girl hadn’t been yucky at all, in fact it had been pretty damn amazing and Emily decided she’d kiss girls again - or maybe, just the one girl.
Pairing: Little Emily/Little Naomi, Little Katie
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: None of the Skins characters belong to me; I’m just borrowing them for a bit.
Summary: Emily Fitch is five years old and has just started school when she takes a special liking to little Naomi Campbell.
AN: I was bored with writers’ block and this is what came out on a blank word page.
ETA: Idea for this was stolen from the lovely falsealarm715 whose post here inspired me :)
‘They’re two young girls, they went to primary school together and Emily had a crush on Naomi all through primary school...’ - Kathryn Prescott from the AE interview.
“Just look at you both,” their Mum said again with tears in her eyes and a grin so wide that Emily actually felt a little scared by it.
The attention they were receiving made Emily shuffle a little uncomfortably in her new uniform and she didn’t understand why last year she got to wear her own clothes when she and Katie went off to play with the other children but now that they were five and going off to ‘big’ school that they had to all wear the same thing - white button-up shirt, covered up by an itchy jumper, a gray skirt, long white socks and shiny black shoes.
Katie was beaming a smile back at their parents as their Dad blinded them once again with his camera’s bright flash and Emily blinked rapidly as Katie nudged her in the side. “Smile silly, we want to look, like, nice in the pictures.”
Emily merely nodded in response and curled her lips up into a smile as their Mum reached up and fussed with their hair again, readjusting their little bows before stepping back and signalling for their Dad to photograph them again.
“I still can’t believe it, my little princesses, all grown up,” he said proudly looking over top of his camera at them. “Seems like only yesterday that you two were in nappies, doesn’t it Jen?”
“Yes... yes, it does.” She wiped at the tears sneaking out of her eyes and Emily frowned a little, still not really understanding why grown-ups cried when they were happy. Surely crying was for when you were upset or hurt, like that time Katie had tripped her up in the garden with her skipping rope and she’d fallen down and scraped her knee.
Their Dad kneeled down a moment later and helped them zip up their coats and pull on their bags and then just as he was playfully tweaking her on the nose and making her laugh, Emily heard her mother say to Katie, “Now you’re the older twin Katiekins, so you’re to look out for Emsy, okay?”
Katie nodded her head. “Yeah, okay. I promise.”
A second later Katie grasped her hand and entwined their fingers, leading the way to the car and pulled Emily to follow behind her. And just like that Katie had been put in charge; she was the leader and Emily the follower.
-----
‘Big’ school, as it turned out, was really rather scary.
Their mum and dad had dropped them off in at their new school, in their new classroom and Emily had immediately felt frightened by all the children that surrounded her. She didn’t recognise any of them, they weren’t the same girls and boys that she’d gone to playschool with and without warning her eyes welled up and she started crying, calling out for her mum and dad to stay with her - of course they hadn’t though, she’d known that they wouldn't - they’d already sat her and Katie down and explained that ‘big’ school was a place for lots of children to be brave and learn and make friends on their own before coming back home to their parents later on that day.
Katie was still there with her though and she pulled her into a hug a second later, soothing a hand through her hair. “Don’t cry Emsy. Mum and Dad will be back for us later, yeah? Come on, we’ll have fun with the other children.”
Emily felt her bottom lip tremble but nodded her head anyway as Katie reached for her hand again. “Okay.”
She held on to Katie’s hand tightly for that first day and for the first few weeks after that and let Katie do all the talking why she stayed quiet but close - it became almost normal then, that she was the shy twin and Katie was the one who made friends for them.
-----
“Put that down,” Katie said, pulling the book out of her hands one break-time and throwing it carelessly to the floor. “We’re playing hopscotch.”
Emily frowned back at her. “But I don’t want to play hopscotch, I’m rubbish at it.”
“Emsy,” Katie warned, pulling her to her feet. “You’re only rubbish at it because you spend too much time being a stupidhead that reads books like serious old library ladies. You can get better at it though, I’ll teach you, like, how to hopscotch proper, because I’m good at it, all right?”
“But I want to read,” Emily murmured quietly looking down at the ground.
“I said we’re playing hopscotch,” Katie said a little louder until Emily looked up at her. “Tommy Jenkins said if we both show him how good we are at it he’ll let us look at his boyparts.”
“I don’t want to look at boyparts,” Emily cried as her face wrinkled up in disgust and she pulled her hand back from Katie’s and moved to pick up her book. “Boys and their parts are yucky, Kay.”
Katie tugged the book back out of her hands again. “How would you know, Emsy? You’ve never seen one, have you? I saw Kevin Tuttle’s last Tuesday but he wouldn’t let me touch it, but Tommy said we could, like, touch his as well as look at it, so you have to come and do hopscotch.”
Emily wanted to say no again but Katie had already decided and was pulling her outside towards the playground - there was no point trying to argue really, she never got to do what she wanted to do anyway.
-----
She fell over during her third attempt at hopscotch and Katie looked down at her with an annoyed frown that made Emily pick herself up off of the floor quickly and shrink off to the side so that Katie could show off once again.
“It’s easy, see?” Katie called to her once again. “Keep trying.”
Emily shook her head. “But I’m tired; I don’t want to play anymore.”
“Keep trying!” Katie ordered loudly and Emily felt tears stinging her eyes as the other children giggled at her and she shook her head at Katie’s instruction and took off running back in to the school.
It was probably because she wasn’t looking where she was going, that Emily bumped into someone forcefully and knocked them down to the ground.
The girl was scowling up at her from the floor as the shock wore off and Emily flailed her hands about apologetically. “I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”
“It’s okay, don’t worry,” the girl said as she stood and rubbed at her bottom. “Think you broke my bum bone though.”
Emily giggled and wiped at her eyes so that her view of the girl became clearer - bright blue eyes were staring back at her and Emily could have sworn the girl’s head was surrounded by a glowing bright light.
“Woah,” Emily breathed a second later, mesmerised by the sight of her - she’d seen it before, the bright glowing lights, in a film or in a book, she couldn’t remember where exactly but it was so pretty that she wanted to reach out and touch it.
The girl looked at her curiously. “Are you okay? You look a little sick.”
Emily snapped out of her trance and lowered her hand, not realising that she’d even lifted it. “Yeah, I’m fine thanks.”
“Okay, good.” The girl smiled briefly at her before waving her hand. “Well, I guess I’ll see you then.”
A moment later she was walking away and Emily found herself staring after her, feeling oddly happy even though she’d just been in tears and amazed that hair could actually be so blonde and then she remembered that she didn’t even know who this girl was.
“Wait,” Emily called after her. “What’s your name?”
The girl turned back to her with a small smile. “Naomi.”
And with that, she was gone and Emily was left alone to wonder why it was that she’d never noticed this ‘Naomi’ girl before.
-----
Emily saw Naomi around at school more often then, not that she ever had the guts to speak to her, but sometimes when they were all having a break or eating lunch Emily would find her eyes automatically being drawn to wherever Naomi just happened to be.
The glow that surrounded her was always there and Emily was fascinated by it - would often spend time zoning out during her lessons and picturing Naomi’s smile and Naomi’s eyes and would even sometimes try and doodle her name in the margin of her paper, the spelling probably not correct but close enough.
She didn’t tell Katie about it, not even when she caught Naomi’s eye one day and Naomi had smiled back at her with a small wave and Katie had asked, “Emsy, who’s that? She looks cool.”
She’d just shrugged in response to Katie’s question, wanting just for once, not to have to share everything and Katie had just rolled her eyes at her and said, “Of course you don’t know. You don’t know anything.”
Emily had nodded. Maybe it was true, maybe she didn’t know anything, but she did know Naomi’s name and Katie didn’t - surely that had to mean something for once. Emily just wished she knew what exactly that was.
-----
“Terry can be your husband,” Katie said and pointed him out to Emily across the playground.
Emily shook her head. “I don’t want a husband.”
“You have to have a husband when we’re playing house, Emsy,” Katie explained and picked up one of the dolls and passed it to her.
Emily looked down at the doll with one eye and was reminded briefly of the matching dolls she and Katie had gotten for their birthday the year before - the doll that Katie had lost and the doll that Katie had then taken from Emily.
She passed Katie the doll back and looked up at her. “I don’t like Terry though; he smells and always tries to look up my skirt.”
“So?”
“So, can’t I be married to Helen instead?” Emily asked pointing Katie in Helen’s direction. “She’s much nicer than Terry and always looks pretty and is always nice to me.”
Katie giggled, covering her mouth with her hand. “Nooo, silly! Girls have to marry boys. Girls can’t marry other girls.”
Emily didn’t understand. “Why not?”
“Because girls have to, like, have babies and look after the house and boys are the ones that order the babies from the special shop and fix the cars and stuffs.” Katie handed her the doll again. “Girls can’t do those things so they can’t marry other girls really, can they? That’d just be a stupid.”
“But...” Emily started and then stopped to think for a moment. “What if a girl wants to marry another girl? What if she doesn’t like boyparts and having a husband? What if she wants a wife?”
Katie shook her head. “You have to be married to Terry, Emsy. That’s the rules.” She called Terry and John over to them and then turned back to her to add, “No girl wants to have a wife.”
Katie had already gone to pick out some rings from the Haribo sweet-mix for them to use when Emily caught sight of Naomi passing by and whispered, “But I do...”
-----
It hadn’t taken long for Emily to realise that Naomi was a bit of a loner.
They weren’t in the same class, so they didn’t have any lessons together but Emily would often linger behind after her own lessons just to see Naomi emerging from her classroom, last, behind all of the other children.
And at break, she’d see Naomi sitting off to the side of the playground, near the big tree, always reading some kind of book - Emily always wanted to go over to her and ask her what she was reading or whether she’d like to join in with them but before she could even think to approach her Katie would latch onto her hand and pull her towards their group of friends, telling them all what game they’d be playing this time.
Emily would see her at lunch too - she wasn’t like the other children, Naomi didn’t take her lunch to school in a colourful lunchbox like they did. There was no sparkly My Little Pony picture on the side of her lunchbox like Katie’s and no picture of Barbie on it like Emily’s (which she’d only chosen because Katie had told her she couldn’t have Mr Men because that was boyish and Barbie did actually look rather pretty standing on the beach eating her strawberry ice-cream). Naomi’s lunchbox was just plain and see through and sometimes Emily would catch a flash of green or orange through the plastic before Naomi would pull out a carrot stick or a celery stick and start munching away on it cutely like a little chipmunk.
And maybe it was because of all of those reasons and because their teacher had told them it was Valentine’s Day soon and that they all had to spend an hour making someone special that they liked a card, that made Emily work particularly hard on the heart shaped one she was making - outlined in golden glitter (like Naomi’s glow) and little colourful sequins with a carefully written (double checked by sneaking a look at the folder of a girl in her class with the same name) ‘To Naomi, Love ? xxx’.
She made a rubbish card too - quickly and without much thought when Katie went to the toilet, just so that she’d have something to give to Terry when they were all asked to hand them out and hid the good one in her bag to give to Naomi later.
Emily didn’t see the harm in it - giving out the cards was all supposed to be a secret anyway.
-----
Giving it to Naomi turned out to be harder than Emily expected, she wasn’t quite sure what she was supposed to say given that her and Naomi had only ever had one conversation and shared only a handful of waves and smiles.
And so she settled for sneaking it into Naomi’s bag one break when Naomi had left it hanging up in the cloakroom - mystery was good anyway... or so her mum had told her, it kept romance alive, whatever the hell that was.
Emily had hidden behind some of the other coats then, and watched, waiting for the bell to go and for Naomi to come and pick up her bag. And when she finally did, Emily couldn’t contain the happy smile that appeared on her face as Naomi pulled the card from her bag with a surprised look as she read the back of it.
Naomi held onto the card and pulled her bag onto her back and Emily felt pleased with herself for coming up with such a good plan until Naomi took a step towards her and reached for her coat, revealing Emily in the process and letting out a shocked scream.
“Sorry,” Emily muttered, dropping her eyes to the floor in embarrassment.
Naomi was still looking at her when she looked back up, clutching the card to her chest. “You’re always saying that, y’know.”
“Yeah.” Emily nodded her head in agreement not knowing what else to say now that she was actually face to face with Naomi.
“What were you doing hiding behind the coats?”
Emily felt her cheeks flush. “I was... I-- I was playing hide and seek.”
“By yourself?” Naomi questioned. “That’s kind of stupid.”
“No.” Emily shook her head, trying to think of something else to say so that Naomi didn’t think she was weird. “There’s a group of us playing actually, and I’m just waiting to be found.”
“Right,” Naomi said, looking at her with a smile. “I don’t s’pose you saw who put the card in my bag did you?”
Emily shook her head frantically. “No. Sorry, I didn’t.”
“You said sorry again.” Naomi giggled, her face breaking out into a smile that made Emily’s tummy do a strange flip-flop. “Doesn’t matter anyway, it was probably just someone from my class playing a joke on me.”
“Why would you think that?” Emily asked stepping out from the coats.
Naomi looked away shyly and mumbled, “No one likes me here.”
“I do,” Emily blurted, the words out of her mouth before she could think to stop them. Naomi looked up at her again with an unreadable expression and Emily lowered her eyes a little. “Sorry.”
It was quiet for a few seconds before Naomi reached out and fumbled her fingers through Emily’s hair and finally said, “Your bow’s on the wonk.”
Emily smiled bashfully as Naomi pulled her hand away and lifted her own hand up to her bow. “Oh, thanks.”
“I have to go, my mum’s picking me up for the dentist, but... thanks.”
“For what?” Emily asked in confusion as Naomi started to walk away.
Naomi shrugged in response. “I don’t know,” she said, waving at Emily with the hand she was still holding onto the card with, so that the glitter glimmered in the light. “Just thanks.”
Emily watched her disappear around the corner and it was only when Katie came looking her a few minutes later, that she realised she was still smiling and standing in the same spot where Naomi had left her.
-----
Summer rolled around quickly and soon their teacher was handing out letters for them to take home about a school trip.
Katie had squealed excitedly at the thought of them not having to have lessons on the last Friday before they broke up for the summer holiday because their year group was getting to travel down to Burnham on Sea on a coach instead and spend the day playing on the beach and eating ice-cream.
Their Mum had taken the shopping and let them pick out a new pair of flip-flops, a hat, and a swimming costume - Emily had wanted to get a blue one because the colour reminded her of Naomi’s eyes but Katie had told her it was ugly and made her cry and in the end their mum had just picked out two of the pink ones that Katie had chosen to begin with.
Katie fell asleep on the coach journey there - they’d had to get up super early when it was still dark outside and Emily had squinted her eyes up at the sky as their dad buckled them into the car and tried to see if she could still see any stars and she didn’t understand why she couldn’t until had dad told her that the stars went to bed in the morning time - and Emily spent the journey peeking through the gap between the chairs to see if she could spot a glimpse of Naomi’s white blonde hair.
Their teachers kept them in groups as they all stepped off of the couch and Emily pushed up on her tiptoes just in time to see a Naomi being put in the other group as they started to make their way down to the beach.
She sat down as soon as they were allowed to play and was scooping sand into her bucket with her spade when Katie pushed it over and said, “We’re all going to play kiss chase and I’ve not let any of the smelly boys play this time.”
“I don’t want to get kissed by boys,” Emily replied, grasping some sand in her hands and letting the grains run free between her fingers.
Katie scrunched her face up at her answer. “Why not? Kissing boys is, like, the most important thing for girls, Emsy. We have to kiss boys.”
Emily shook her head again. “But boys are snotty and muddy and always pull our hair, I don’t like them. Girls are nicer; I want to kiss them instead.”
“You can’t, it’s yucky and gross.” Katie frowned down at her. “Terry said he wants to kiss you. You’re going to kiss him.”
“No!” Emily pushed Katie’s hand away as she tried to pull her up. “I don’t want to kiss boys. I want to kiss girls.”
“Fine,” Katie snapped. “You’re not allowed to play anymore, you’re a stupid fanny!”
Emily watched as Katie stood on the one sandcastle she had made before stalking off to her friends and she rubbed at the tears forming in her eyes angrily. Katie was just being mean and so she would have to have fun without her for the day.
She spent the afternoon building a sandcastle palace on her own and it wasn’t until she went down by the sea to look for some sea shells to decorate it with that she finally saw Naomi again.
She was standing in the sea so that the water just came up to her ankles with her arms held out wide and her head titled back to look up at the sky and it was only then, as the sun shined down on her brightly and made the slight glow that normally surround her burst brightly into a beautifully golden blaze that Emily finally remembered what it was that Naomi reminded her of.
“Wow,” Emily murmured, as the bright light forced her to squint just so that she could keep looking at Naomi properly and she found herself mesmerised by the way the light bounced off the water and shimmered in a way that made Naomi look like she was floating magnificently in the air.
Naomi turned to look at her a second later and Emily found herself drowning in the deep blue of her eyes as Naomi smiled at her and beckoned her closer. “You should come into the water, it’s nice and warm. I promise.”
Emily felt her feet moving automatically and soon she was standing in the water next to Naomi, looking up at her and studying her closely as if it was the first moment she’d ever truly seen her.
The moment Naomi’s eyes locked onto hers, Emily breathed out quietly, “You’re an angel...”
Naomi giggled at her. “I’m just a girl, you silly ‘nana.”
“No.” Emily shook her head as the sun shone through Naomi’s hair and made it sparkle and look silver. “You’re an angel... a real angel.”
Naomi looked at her for a long moment and smiled shyly at her before leaning in and pressing her lips against her cheek. Emily closed her eyes as Naomi’s mouth lingered against her cheek, warm and soft and gentle as she pulled away slowly and left her kiss behind.
Emily thought she heard Naomi whisper, “You’re sweet, Ems” but when she opened her eyes Naomi was already gone and she turned quickly to see Naomi walking back up the beach. And all she could do to reassure herself that it had been real was to lift her fingertips up to cheek to find that her skin still tingled from where Naomi’s lips must have been pressed against her skin.
She knew then, that she’d just gotten her first kiss, and she smiled brightly to herself when she realised Katie had been wrong, getting kissed by a girl hadn’t been yucky at all, in fact it had been pretty damn amazing and Emily decided she’d kiss girls again - or maybe, just the one girl.