I'm so proud of you. It's hard, when you're fluctuating so much, to have the frame of reference to be able to look back and see if things really have improved, especially with all the curveballs that seem to be status quo in college-life. I think a lot of people who've watched you this year, either up close or afar, can see how much you've grown, but it's so momentous that you can realize it too. You've made it, and you're gonna keep on doing so. All we can do is try to ride out the hurt and hang on like hell to the excitement that there is so much left to do and figure out!
I know I've not been the best fountain of advise for you this year, but I think I can give advice now that I've got myself in a stronger place and have put a friendship in perspective: You are going to feel pain, throughout your life, and you're going to have to endure it. I know this, from being in the same position last spring. I will try to be loyal, through the high AND the lows, even as hard and annoying as that is for both of us sometimes. I'm not gonna be an inanimate punching bag, but I will try to at least help you think things through.
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Sounds like you are a lot stronger. Like, you have ooomph now. That's good.
So you wanna be a rockstar? Here's a song for you: http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Rockstar-lyrics-Third-Day/52D51FD1EAB69FD848256E8F00104D8E
Hopeful now you can focus on what you want out of life, instead of what you think someone else wants out of you.
I disadvise getting too tangled in the gaming scene. But, meh, that's up to you.
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