So it turns out...
that labor and delivery? hurts like hell no matter what. Doesn't matter if you get the waterbirth of your dreams... still hurts like hell. OMG.
My water broke at 8:45 am. We were excited, nervous, etc. Labor started (finally! after a day of wet pants) at around 7pm. I was having strong-ish contractions, but still not too regular. At around 8:30, I took a shower, got into some comfy clothes and settled in to start contracting regularly. I used the birthing ball, walked around, and laid on my side in bed for a while. Contractions were coming regularly, and strong, but not long enough. At around 10:30, we called the midwife to ask when to come in.... within a half hour, we knew to come in - I could no longer have contractions without moaning through them. She met us at the birthing center, checked my cervix, which was very high and dilated to a 5. That was my first cervical check.
She told us to walk around and labor while leaning forward or on hands and knees. Then she went to bed. We woke her at 2a, because I was pretty damn sure that I needed to transfer to the hospital. I got in the tub, which was just fine. Turns out that the 'aquadural' is not actually as effective as an 'epidural' for managing pain. Sol and Melanie kept telling me what a good job I was doing.... Unfortunately, I was far too traumatized from Luna's birth to believe a word they were saying. Mel checked me again, and told me that I was at a 7. She started talking about calling her labor assistant and Sol was talking about me having a baby soon? What? I just knew that I would have another six hours and that I needed to be transferred to the hospital and soon. The labor assistant got there and started assembling stuff. She talked to me about how soon I was going to have the baby. I am just the most glass-half-empty girl that ever was. I swear. In retrospect, transition consisted of those three telling me how great I was, and me yelling back that I was doing horribly. And that they were wrong. Sob.
At around 10 minutes to 4, Mel told me to trust my body and that if I needed to push, that I should. I was horrified. WHAT IF I AM NOT COMPLETE?! I yelled. She was stoically calm and said, 'well. then it will hurt, then.' I certainly wasn't going to be pushing anytime soon, so i put that thought right out of my head. I kept contractng, feeling huge amounts of pressure. Sally, the labor assistant/doula, told me that she could tell that the baby was working it's way down without me doing anything.
I started wondering if I would even have the urge to push at all. I finally figured that I never would. I swear, it was two contractions later, I was doubled over yelling that I was pushing and I couldn't help it. I was going to throw up, I was going to poo, I was going to climb out of the tub, etc. There was no way that I would be doing any more pushing! I am such a jerk in labor, I swear. (it was 4am when I had my first push)
Push, push, push, RING OF FIRE OMG. Some yelling at Sol happened. I was fairly certain at this point that he was pushing the baby back in. And he accidentally touched my clitoris. Poor Sol. All he was doing was holding my hemoirroids in. How gross is that? Her head came out at 4:13 am. With amazing control, I slowly pushed out the rest of her. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and around her body. The most amazing thing that I have ever seen is this girls umbilical cord. The average length of umbilical cord is 27 inches long. Um. Her umbilical cord? WAS FIFTY INCHES. How on earth what would possess my body to produce a 4-ft long cord? My midwife was kind of blown away even.
Anyway. She was perfect and beautiful. Squawked once or twice and latched on immediately. With wide open eyes. I knew she was a girl without checking. She has a head full of hair like Solstice did. And a dimple on her chin. She has Luna's nose and grumpy face. I am in love. We knew that she was Daphne Blue, Sol threw in Jocasta like 2 days ago.
So in a nutshell, my natural, intervention-free, dream waterbirth lasted from around 9p ( or 11 - when we decided to go to the birthing center) to 4:13 am. So 5-7 hours! OMG. How fast is that? AND I didn't tear or bruise at all.
Now the bad. When my placenta came out, it flopped over. Somehow, the whole membrane had been stripped off and was hanging out in my uterus. My midwife proceeded to shove her entire arm up into me and try to scrape it out. She succeeded, but it was the worst pain I have been in in my entire life. My labor all of a sudden turned into a cake walk. For real. No pain management could have slighted this. I cried, I screamed, I begged, I cussed. I yelled. Then I had contractions for the next hour that rivaled actual labor pains. Then a pitocin shot. Then she came over and informed me that she was going to have to do it again. FUCKING NO WAY MAN. But she did. And it was even worse. Then she laid on my stomach and out shot 600cc of blood clots. For a mental picture, think of about 6 - 10 tennis balls coming out. I begged and cried and screamed some more. Then she shoved cytotec up my ass. For more contractions. Trauma, this was major trauma. About a half hour later, my hearing got fuzzy and I started fading in and out. I was crying now and couldn't stop. I couldn't believe that I was going to actually die in childbirth. I didn't. But I did have to have iv fluids, talk of transfusons, etc :(
But I made it. And the funniest thing that ever happened was about an hour or so before I left. The girls were there meeting their new sister for the first time, I was blissed out, etc.... Then I looked down to see an air bubble in my iv. You should have heard me yell - FREAK OUT - um, I thought that if an air bubble got in my vein, I would DIE. And wouldn't it be a shame if I made it through the most torturous moments of my life (the placenta retention, not the labor) only to die from an air bubble in my iv line.
My three daughters :)
My water broke at 8:45 am. We were excited, nervous, etc. Labor started (finally! after a day of wet pants) at around 7pm. I was having strong-ish contractions, but still not too regular. At around 8:30, I took a shower, got into some comfy clothes and settled in to start contracting regularly. I used the birthing ball, walked around, and laid on my side in bed for a while. Contractions were coming regularly, and strong, but not long enough. At around 10:30, we called the midwife to ask when to come in.... within a half hour, we knew to come in - I could no longer have contractions without moaning through them. She met us at the birthing center, checked my cervix, which was very high and dilated to a 5. That was my first cervical check.
She told us to walk around and labor while leaning forward or on hands and knees. Then she went to bed. We woke her at 2a, because I was pretty damn sure that I needed to transfer to the hospital. I got in the tub, which was just fine. Turns out that the 'aquadural' is not actually as effective as an 'epidural' for managing pain. Sol and Melanie kept telling me what a good job I was doing.... Unfortunately, I was far too traumatized from Luna's birth to believe a word they were saying. Mel checked me again, and told me that I was at a 7. She started talking about calling her labor assistant and Sol was talking about me having a baby soon? What? I just knew that I would have another six hours and that I needed to be transferred to the hospital and soon. The labor assistant got there and started assembling stuff. She talked to me about how soon I was going to have the baby. I am just the most glass-half-empty girl that ever was. I swear. In retrospect, transition consisted of those three telling me how great I was, and me yelling back that I was doing horribly. And that they were wrong. Sob.
At around 10 minutes to 4, Mel told me to trust my body and that if I needed to push, that I should. I was horrified. WHAT IF I AM NOT COMPLETE?! I yelled. She was stoically calm and said, 'well. then it will hurt, then.' I certainly wasn't going to be pushing anytime soon, so i put that thought right out of my head. I kept contractng, feeling huge amounts of pressure. Sally, the labor assistant/doula, told me that she could tell that the baby was working it's way down without me doing anything.
I started wondering if I would even have the urge to push at all. I finally figured that I never would. I swear, it was two contractions later, I was doubled over yelling that I was pushing and I couldn't help it. I was going to throw up, I was going to poo, I was going to climb out of the tub, etc. There was no way that I would be doing any more pushing! I am such a jerk in labor, I swear. (it was 4am when I had my first push)
Push, push, push, RING OF FIRE OMG. Some yelling at Sol happened. I was fairly certain at this point that he was pushing the baby back in. And he accidentally touched my clitoris. Poor Sol. All he was doing was holding my hemoirroids in. How gross is that? Her head came out at 4:13 am. With amazing control, I slowly pushed out the rest of her. She had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck and around her body. The most amazing thing that I have ever seen is this girls umbilical cord. The average length of umbilical cord is 27 inches long. Um. Her umbilical cord? WAS FIFTY INCHES. How on earth what would possess my body to produce a 4-ft long cord? My midwife was kind of blown away even.
Anyway. She was perfect and beautiful. Squawked once or twice and latched on immediately. With wide open eyes. I knew she was a girl without checking. She has a head full of hair like Solstice did. And a dimple on her chin. She has Luna's nose and grumpy face. I am in love. We knew that she was Daphne Blue, Sol threw in Jocasta like 2 days ago.
So in a nutshell, my natural, intervention-free, dream waterbirth lasted from around 9p ( or 11 - when we decided to go to the birthing center) to 4:13 am. So 5-7 hours! OMG. How fast is that? AND I didn't tear or bruise at all.
Now the bad. When my placenta came out, it flopped over. Somehow, the whole membrane had been stripped off and was hanging out in my uterus. My midwife proceeded to shove her entire arm up into me and try to scrape it out. She succeeded, but it was the worst pain I have been in in my entire life. My labor all of a sudden turned into a cake walk. For real. No pain management could have slighted this. I cried, I screamed, I begged, I cussed. I yelled. Then I had contractions for the next hour that rivaled actual labor pains. Then a pitocin shot. Then she came over and informed me that she was going to have to do it again. FUCKING NO WAY MAN. But she did. And it was even worse. Then she laid on my stomach and out shot 600cc of blood clots. For a mental picture, think of about 6 - 10 tennis balls coming out. I begged and cried and screamed some more. Then she shoved cytotec up my ass. For more contractions. Trauma, this was major trauma. About a half hour later, my hearing got fuzzy and I started fading in and out. I was crying now and couldn't stop. I couldn't believe that I was going to actually die in childbirth. I didn't. But I did have to have iv fluids, talk of transfusons, etc :(
But I made it. And the funniest thing that ever happened was about an hour or so before I left. The girls were there meeting their new sister for the first time, I was blissed out, etc.... Then I looked down to see an air bubble in my iv. You should have heard me yell - FREAK OUT - um, I thought that if an air bubble got in my vein, I would DIE. And wouldn't it be a shame if I made it through the most torturous moments of my life (the placenta retention, not the labor) only to die from an air bubble in my iv line.
My three daughters :)