Title: Dialogue!Snippet
Author:
thedeepeekayFandom: MandC
Pairing, Characters: Jack, Stephen
Rating: PG
Spoilers: Which was the book with the sloth? HMS Surprise? Spoilers for that.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never has been, never will be.
Length: 300 words
Status: Was thought as beginning of a slash fic, but it's been months, let's just call it a gen standalone ficlet.
Summary: What kind of animal is Stephen allowed to bring aboard?
Author's Note: So. The Gilly and I were talking about naturalists yesterday, and of course from there the conversation went to sex and drugs. We got to the idea of drug-induced smexxing by frog-licking, and the Gilly asked " Also, why hasn't this been written in Aubreyad fandom yet? Stephen will happily drug himself to the gills anyway." Then I went to bed. And woke up at 2 am with the thought Hey, this would be a good way to start that fic! So here's the result, now all typed out (and trust me, deciphering my nightly handwriting was no fun). A bit of dialogue, not slashy, not snarky, not even funny, that, at some point, might lead to frog-induced smexxing.
As always, not beta'd.
Written: May 2009
Crossposted to:
perfect_duet here.
Dialogue!Snippet
"And no sloths, Stephen."
"Do you not mean no vampires, Jack?"
"Those too. And no snakes. Or bees. Nothing with a sensitive stomach, we are on a ship after all, the sea tends to get a little rough every now and then-"
"I do not think rough sea had anything to do with it!"
"-and nothing that bites or stings. Or claws."
"Jack, you do realize that nature provided all animals with the means to defend themselves, and those means usually are teeth and claws?"
"Oh, I'm sure you'll find something, joy!"
"But no animal, no matter how sharp its canines, would use the same without a reason, so if you just told the men to-"
"No, Stephen. This is a man-of-war, and your reasonable animal might consider the next gun practise enough of a threat to bite off your hand. That is a risk I am not willing to take, brother, I am sorry."
"D'accord. I still think you are being… overly cautious, but I cannot deny that you have a point."
"I am glad that you have come to see reason, brother."
"Yes, luckily the jaguar mates all year, so I do stand a chance of finding an infant one without dangerously sharp teeth! I am quite confident I can nurse it on goat's milk."
"Maybe I should be more specific, Doctor. You are not to bring any mammal, reptile, or insect aboard this ship. Is that clear?"
"But Jack, how am I to conduct my-"
"Is that clear, Doctor?"
"Abundantly clear, Captain."
"Stephen…"
"Now if you'll excuse me, I see the boat is ready to take of."
That evening, the doctor returned to Surprise carrying a brightly coloured frog with him. After all, frogs were amphibians.
And the licking was, of course, for scientific purpose only.