Background: I was on the phone with this guy a few days ago, and he made a few "women driver" cracks. I said I was uncomfortable with that kind of humour and thought the stereotype was unfair
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my saying that I'd prefer to live in a world where women don't drive VS I'm sorry about what your mom had to go through, but I was not talking about her. *gives biscuit for being consistent!*
whenever a man whines about a woman's not having the all-important 'sense of humour' - i smell guano. a 'sense of humour' is not a universal thing, and if someone finds your joke unfunny, don't blame them for not agreeing with your own particular little sense of humour.
i, for example, have a sense of humour. maybe i think this is hilarious: When my nose squirted blood after bouncing off the windshield of my zen cause the lady in front hit reverse instead of second aw, come on, you don't think that's funny? lol nosebleed!
And also, that is an example of his bad driving too, because a good driver should never be that close to the car in front. And was he not wearing a seat belt?
So, all those statistics about the people most likely to be involved in car accidents being 16 - 25 year old men must be quite wrong then. The insurance companies must obviously be some hallucinating all of this and enjoy losing money by giving women better insurance. How silly of them all, we'd better send this conversation to make it clear that it is women who are crap drivers, not these poor, discriminated against male youths.
Just ... what the fucking fuckity fucking fuck? Humour is only FUNNY if it's not vicious. And everything he said in this conversation shows that any of his women driver "jokes" would be fueled by a vicious, nasty, misigynist streak. I agree - that conversation made me sick.
So there was this taxi driver parked by the side of the road and he opened the door of his car so it was jutting into the middle of the road! A scooterist swerved to avoid it and zoomed into my mother's car! Then the taxi driver closed the door, pretended it had never been open, and he and the scooterist shared a snarky joke about women drivers! It was hilarious!
So, all those statistics about the people most likely to be involved in car accidents being 16 - 25 year old men must be quite wrong then. The insurance companies must obviously be some hallucinating all of this and enjoy losing money by giving women better insurance.I was just going to respond with this fact. Obviously your friend is not willing to accept the fact that he is sexist. I am one of the best drivers I know. I'm aggressive when appropriate, yet considerate. And oh my god - I have breasts and a uterus - call the fucking paper. I do not "watch out" for other female drivers. From where did he pull that "stereotype"? There are many crap drivers out on the road - I keep a keen eye out for them in order to avoid accidents. Some are older men, some are younger guys, some are older women, some are younger women, some are seniors, etc. My point: the type of driver you are has ZERO to do with whether or not you have a vagina and/or penis. Yes, younger boys/men do pay higher insurance rates, at least in North America, and I am sure
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Eep...am I going to be stereotyped as a bad driver (assuming I learn to drive, at some point) when I move there? I mean, I'm the wrong sex and the wrong race.
Er....Men are universally worse drivers than women. They're aggressive, competative, and they tend to escalate bad situations out of machismo. Your friend is one of those people who sees only that which confirms his prejudices. Most car accidents involve young men. Furthermore, there's no hard science about the 'differences' between men and women. We're more similiar than we are different. I'd suggest reading The Myth of Women's Masochism by, I believe, Paula Caplan---I think it's linked on my bio page----for an overview of how definitoins of women change with the 'science' of each era.
I wish I had something about male drivers, but all you'd have to do is look up the insurance industry. Hell, even in law enforcement there's been acknowledgement that female cops de escalate situations, whereas male cops can escalate them. A guy who identifies himself primarily as a guy is going to be more aggressive--and more likely to want to pigeonhole women, too, by the way.
1. Jokes about stereotypes always upset me when they begin to affect how people from the particular group are treated. I realise a lot of people don't give much credence to the idea that it can be emotionally upsetting (though I think this is very important) but it can have other effects as well. To further the example above, about women drivers, who you blame for a car accident really matters when things like insurance come into the picture.
2. You don't like women? Why? And if you don't, I will find that strange, and slightly disturbing. But honestly, you and I are not *that* close, so your beliefs don't particularly affect me. He is a close friend who I often turn to for comfort...I'm very vulnerable with him. Which is why this feels like such a betrayal.
3. How would you feel if someone decided that yourChristianity was something serious that they wanted to challenge you out of? I mean, if our closest friends can't respect what we think is truly important, they're not doing too well, are they?
Eek..there's so much there that I think is wrong that I could be here forever arguing.
*deep breath*
I respectfully disagree. I don't think I can handle this conversation and still be friends at the end of it...not in the mood I'm in right now. So I'm just going to leave it at that.
lycoris and ginmar are correct: male drivers under the age of 25 are the most dangerous on the road. No sense of mortality + testosterone ==> RIP
Ro is also correct, possibly. The fact that he talked about it, even if you didn't like what he said, indicates that he thinks of you as a friend, a good friend, one whom he's willing to argue with.
Unless he's just one of those men who can't stand losing arguments. ;)
Also, I'm not sure what it says that he wanted to argue about it after I'd said how strongly it was affecting me. Remember a certain time last year when talking to you sickened and depressed me? That's how I'm feeling right now. But he went on anyway...as if winning meant more than the fact that I wanted to throw up. :(
Some people (male and female) would rather lose a friend than an argument. Others think they have to teach you something for your own good. I'm not sure which trait is more annoying, but both are common in people who haven't yet learned that friends are more valuable than diamonds.
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I'm sorry about what your mom had to go through, but I was not talking about her.
*gives biscuit for being consistent!*
whenever a man whines about a woman's not having the all-important 'sense of humour' - i smell guano. a 'sense of humour' is not a universal thing, and if someone finds your joke unfunny, don't blame them for not agreeing with your own particular little sense of humour.
i, for example, have a sense of humour. maybe i think this is hilarious:
When my nose squirted blood after bouncing off the windshield of my zen cause the lady in front hit reverse instead of second
aw, come on, you don't think that's funny? lol nosebleed!
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So, all those statistics about the people most likely to be involved in car accidents being 16 - 25 year old men must be quite wrong then. The insurance companies must obviously be some hallucinating all of this and enjoy losing money by giving women better insurance. How silly of them all, we'd better send this conversation to make it clear that it is women who are crap drivers, not these poor, discriminated against male youths.
Just ... what the fucking fuckity fucking fuck? Humour is only FUNNY if it's not vicious. And everything he said in this conversation shows that any of his women driver "jokes" would be fueled by a vicious, nasty, misigynist streak. I agree - that conversation made me sick.
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Now..why isn't that funny? *scratches head*
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2. You don't like women? Why? And if you don't, I will find that strange, and slightly disturbing. But honestly, you and I are not *that* close, so your beliefs don't particularly affect me. He is a close friend who I often turn to for comfort...I'm very vulnerable with him. Which is why this feels like such a betrayal.
3. How would you feel if someone decided that yourChristianity was something serious that they wanted to challenge you out of? I mean, if our closest friends can't respect what we think is truly important, they're not doing too well, are they?
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*deep breath*
I respectfully disagree. I don't think I can handle this conversation and still be friends at the end of it...not in the mood I'm in right now. So I'm just going to leave it at that.
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Ro is also correct, possibly. The fact that he talked about it, even if you didn't like what he said, indicates that he thinks of you as a friend, a good friend, one whom he's willing to argue with.
Unless he's just one of those men who can't stand losing arguments. ;)
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Also, I'm not sure what it says that he wanted to argue about it after I'd said how strongly it was affecting me. Remember a certain time last year when talking to you sickened and depressed me? That's how I'm feeling right now. But he went on anyway...as if winning meant more than the fact that I wanted to throw up.
:(
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Some people (male and female) would rather lose a friend than an argument. Others think they have to teach you something for your own good. I'm not sure which trait is more annoying, but both are common in people who haven't yet learned that friends are more valuable than diamonds.
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