HUSH part 3

[thefinished]

Flying down Hawthorne, I drove past my house, circled back, cut over the road, and headed back. I speed-dialed Kitty.

"Something happened-I-he-out of nowhere-"

"You're breaking up, what?"

I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. I was trembling down to my toes. "He came out of nowhere."

"Who?"

"He-" I tried to net my thoughts and funnel them into words. "He jumped in front of the car!"

"Oh, man. You hit a deer? Are you okay? What about Bambi?" She half wailed, half groaned. "The Neon?"

I opened my mouth, but Kitty cut me off.

"Forget it. I've got insurance. Just tell me there aren't deer parts all over my car...there aren't any, right?"

Whatever answer I was about to give faded into the background. My mind was two steps ahead. A deer. Maybe I could pass the whole thing off as hitting a deer. I wanted to confide in Kitty, but I didn't want to sound crazy, either. How was I going to explain watching the guy I hit rise to his feet and begin tearing off the car door? I stretched my collar down past my shoulder. No red marks where he'd gripped me that I could see...

I came to myself with a start. Was I actually considering denying it had happened? I knew what I'd seen. It was not my imagination.

"Holy freak show," Kitty said. "You're not answering. The deer is lodged in my headlights, isn't he? You're driving around with him stuck to the front of the car like a snowplow."

"Can I sleep at your place?" I wanted to get off the streets. Out of the dark. With a sudden intake of air, I realized to get to Kitty's, I'd have to drive back through the intersection where I'd hit him.

"I'm down in my room," said Kitty. "Let yourself in. See you in a few."

With my hands tight on the steering wheel, I pushed the Neon through the rain, praying the light at Hawthorne would be green in my favor. It was, and I floored it through the intersection, keeping my eyes straight ahead, but at the same time, stealing glimpses into the shadows along the side of the road. There was no sign of the guy in the ski mask.

Ten minutes later I parked the Neon in Kitty's driveway. The damage to the door was extensive, and I had to put my foot to it and kick my way out. Then I jogged to the front door, bolted myself inside, and hurried down the basement stairs.

Kitty was sitting cross-legged on her bed, notebook propped between her knees, earbuds plugged in, iPod turned up all the way. "Do I want to see the damage tonight, or should I wait until I've had at least seven hours of sleep?" she called over the music.

"Maybe option number two."

Kitty snapped the notebook shut and tugged out the earbuds. "Let's get it over with."

When we got outside, I stared at the Neon for a long moment. It wasn't a warm night, but the weather wasn't the cause of the goose bumps rippling over my arms. No smashed drivers side window. No bend in the door.

"Something's not right," I said. But Kitty wasn't listening. She was busy inspecting every square inch of the Neon.

I stepped forward and poked the drivers window. Solid glass. I closed my eyes. When I reopened them, the window was still intact.

I walked around the back of the car. I'd completed almost a full circle when I came up short.

A fine crack bisected the windshield.

Kitty saw it at the same time. "Are you sure it wasn't a squirrel?"

My mind flashed back to the lethal eyes behind the ski mask. They were so black I couldn't distinguish the pupils from the irises.

"Look at me, I'm crying tears of joy!" Kitty said, sprawling herself across the Neon's hood in a hug. "A teeny-tiny crack. That's it!"

I manufactured a smile, but my stomach soured. Five minutes ago, the window was smashed out and the door was bowed. Looking at the car now, it seemed impossible. No, it seemed crazy. But I saw his fist punch through the glass, and I felt his fingernails bite into my shoulder.

Hadn't I?

The harder I tried to remember the crash, the more I couldn't. Little blips of missing information cut across my memory. The details were fading. That was the most frightening part.

***

Kitty and I left her house at seven fifteen the following morning and drove to Enzo's Bistro to grab a breakfast of steamed milk. With my hands wrapped around my china cup, I tried to warm away the deep chill inside me. I'd showered, pulled on a camisole and cardigan borrowed from Kitty's closet, and swept on some makeup, but I hardly remembered doing it.

"Don't look now," Kitty said, "but Mr.Green Sweater keeps looking this way...Oh! He just saluted me. I am not kidding. A little two-finger military salute. How adorable."

I wasn't listening. Last night's accident had replayed itself in my head all night, chasing away any chance of sleep. My thoughts were in tangles, my eyes were dry and heavy, and I couldn't concentrate.

"Mr.Green Sweater looks normal, but his wingman looks hardcore bad boy." said Kitty. "Emits a certain don't-mess-with-me signal. Tell me he doesn't look like Dracula's spawn. Tell me I'm imagining things."

Lifting my eyes just high enough to get a look at him without appearing that I was, I took in his fine-boned, handsome face. Blond hair hung at his shoulders. Eyes the color of chrome. Dressed in a tailored jacket over his green sweater and dark designer jeans. I said, "You're imagining things."

"Did you miss the deep-set eyes? The tall lanky build? He might even be tall enough for me."

Kitty is already tall, but she has a thing for heels. High heels. She also has a thing about not dating shorter guys.

"Okay, what's wrong?" Kitty asked. "You've gone all incommunicado. This isn't about the crack in my windshield, is it? So what if you hit an animal? It could happen to anyone. Granted, the chances would be a lot slimmer if your mom relocated out of the wilderness."

I was going to tell Kitty the truth. Soon. I just needed a little time to sort out the details. The problem was, I didn't see how I could. The only details left were spotty, at best. It was as if an eraser had scrubbed my memory blank. Thinking back, I remembered the heavy rain cascading down the Neon's windows, causing everything outside to blur. Had I really hit a deer?

"Oh, check it out," said Kitty. "Mr.Green Sweater is getting out of his seat. He's coming over here."

A half beat later we were greeted with a low, pleasant "Hello."

Kitty and I looked up at the same time. Mr.Green Sweater stood just back from our table, his thumbs hooked in the pockets of his jeans.

"Hello yourself," Kitty said. "I'm Kitty. This is Lindsey Ballato."

I frowned at Kitty. I didn't appreciate her tagging on my last name. I gave a half hearted wave and brought my cup to my lips, immediately scalding my tongue.

He dragged a chair over from the next table and sat backward on it, his arms resting where his back should have been. Holding a hand out to me, he said, "I'm Pete Wentz." Feeling way too formal, I shook it. "And this is here is Mikey," he added, jerking his chin toward his friend.
Mikey lowered himself into a seat beside Kitty, dwarfing the chair.

She said to him, "I think you might be the tallest guy I've ever seen. Seriously, how tall are you?"

"Six foot one," Mikey muttered, slumping in his seat and crossing his arms.

Pete cleared his throat. "Can I get you ladies something to eat?"

"I'm fine," I said, raising my cup. "I already ordered."

Kitty kicked me under the table. "She'll have a vanilla cream-filled doughnut. Make it two."

"So much for the diet, huh?" I asked Kitty.

"Huh yourself. The vanilla bean is a fruit. A brown fruit."

"It's a legume."

"You sure about that?"

I wasn't.

Mikey closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. Apparently he was as thrilled to be sitting with us as I was to have them here.

As Pete walked to the front counter, I let my eyes trail after him. He was definitely in high school, but I hadn't seen him at CHS before. I would remember. He had a charming personality, and a blinding white smile that didn't fade into the background. If I wasn't feeling so shaken, I might have actually taken an interest.

"Do you live around here?" Kitty asked Mikey.

"Mmm."

"Go to school?"

"Lady of Sorrows." There was a tinge of something other than boredom in the way he said it. Maybe superiority.

"Never heard of it."

"Private school. We start at nine." He lifted his sleeve and glanced at his watch.

Kitty dipped a finger in the froth of her milk and licked it off. "Is it expensive?"

Mikey looked at her directly for the first time. His eyes stretched, showing a little white around the edges.

"Are you rich? I bet you are," she said.

Mikey eyed Kitty like she'd just killed a fly on his forehead. He scraped his chair back several inches, distancing himself from us.

Pete returned with a box of a half-dozen doughnuts.

"Two vanilla creams for the ladies," he said, pushing the box toward me, "and four glazed for me. Guess I'd better fill up now, since I don't know what the cafeteria is like at Coldwater High."

Kitty nearly spit up her milk. "You go to CHS?"

"As of today. I just transferred from Lady of Sorrows."

"Lindsey and I go there." Kitty said. "I hope you appreciate your good fortune. Anything you need to know-including who you should take to Spring Fling- just ask. Lindsey and I don't have dates...yet."

I decided it was time to leave. Mikey was obviously bored or irritated, maybe both, and being in his company wasn't helping my already restless mood. I made a big presentation of looking at the clock on my cell phone and said, "We better get to school, Kit. We have a bio test to study for. Pete and Mikey, it was nice meeting you."

"Our bio test isn't until Friday," said Kitty.

On the inside, I cringed. On the outside, I smiled through my teeth. "Right. I meant to say I have an English test." Everyone knew I was lying.

In a remote way my rudeness bothered me, especially since Pete hadn't done anything to deserve it. But I didn't want to sit here any longer. I wanted to keep moving forward, distancing myself from last night. Maybe the diminishing memory wasn't such a bad thing after all. The sooner I forgot the accident, the sooner my life could go back to normal.

"I hope you have a good first day, maybe we'll see you at lunch." I told Pete. Then I dragged Kitty up by her elbow and steered her out the door.

***

The school day was almost over, only biology left, and after a quick stop by my locker to exchange books, I headed to class. Kitty and I arrived before Gerard; she slid into his empty seat and dug through her backpack, pulling out a box of Hot Tamales.

"One red fruit coming right up." she said, offering me the box.

"Let me guess...cinnamon is a fruit?" I pushed the box away.

"You didn't eat lunch, either." Kitty said, frowning.

"I'm not hungry."

"Liar. You're always hungry. Is this about Gerard? You're not worried he's really stalking you, are you? Because last night, that whole thing at the library, I was joking."

I massaged small circles into my temples. The dull ache that had taken up residence behind my eyes flared at the mention of Gerard. "He's the least of my worries." I said. It wasn't exactly true.

"My seat, if you don't mind."

Kitty and I looked up simultaneously at the sound of Gerard's voice.

He sounded pleasant enough, but he kept his eyes trained on Kitty as she rose and slung her backpack over her shoulder. It appeared she couldn't move fast enough; he swept his arm toward the aisle, inviting her out of his way.

"Looking good as always," he said to me, taking his chair. He leaned back in it, stretching his legs out in front of him.

"Thank you," I answered without thinking. Immediately I wanted to take it back. Thank you? Of all the things I could have said, "thank you" was the worst. I didn't want Gerard thinking I liked his compliments. It didn't take much perception to realize he was trouble, and I had enough trouble in my life already. No need to invite more. Maybe if I ignored him, he'd eventually give up initiating conversation. And then we could sit side by side in silent harmony.

"You smell good too." said Gerard.

"It's called a shower." I was staring straight ahead. When he didn't answer, I turned sideways. "Soap. Shampoo. Hot water."

"Naked. I know the drill."

I opened my mouth to change the subject when the bell cut me off.

"Put your textbooks away," Coach said from behind his deck. "I'm handing out a practice quiz to get you warmed up for this Friday's real one." He stopped in front of me, licking his finger as he tried to separate the quizzes. "I want fifteen minutes of quiet while you answer the questions. Then we'll discuss chapter seven. Good luck."

I worked through the first several questions, answering them with a rhythmic outpouring of memorized facts. If nothing else, the quiz stole my concentration, pushing last night's accident and the voice at the back of my mind questioning my sanity to the sidelines. Pausing to shake a cramp out of my hand, I felt Gerard lean toward me.

"You look tired. Rough night?" he whispered.

"I saw you at the library." I was careful to keep my pencil gliding over my quiz, seemingly hard at work.

"The highlight of my night."

"Were you following me?"

He tipped his head back and laughed softly.

I tried a new angle. "What were you doing there?"

"Getting a book."

I felt Coach Gabe's eyes on me and dedicated myself to my quiz. After answering several more questions, I stole a glimpse to my left. I was surprised to find Gerard already watching me. He grinned.

My heart did an unexpected flip, startled by his smile. I was so taken aback, I dropped my pencil. It bounced on the tabletop a few times before rolling over the edge. Gerard bent to pick it up. He held it out in the palm of his hand, and I had to focus not to touch his skin as I took it back.

"After the library," I whispered, "where did you go?"

"Why?"

"Did you follow me?" I demanded in an undertone.

"You look a little on edge, Lindsey. What happened?" His eyebrows lifted in concern. It was all for show, because there was a taunting spark at the center of his eyes.

"Are you following me?"

"Why would I want to follow you?"

"Answer the question."

"Lindsey." The warning in Saporta's voice pulled me back to my quiz, but I couldn't help speculating about what Gerard's answer might have been, and it had me wanting to slide far away from him.

Coach blew his whistle. "Time's up. Pass your quizzes forward. Be expecting similar questions this Friday. Now for today's lesson. Kitty, want to guess today's topic?"

"Sex."

I didn't pay attention to Coach's lesson. Maybe I was paranoid but something didn't seem right. Was Gerard following me? Was he the face behind the mask I saw yesterday. I hugged my elbows, suddenly feeling very cold. I wanted my life to go back to the way it was before Gerard.

At the end of class, I stopped Gerard from leaving. "Can we talk?"

He was already standing, so he took a seat on the edge of the table. "What's up?"

"I know you don't want to sit next to me any more than I want to sit next to you. I think Saporta might consider changing our seats if you talk to him. If you explain the situation-"

"The situation?"

"We're not-compatible."

He rubbed a hand over his jaw, a calculating gesture I'd grown accustomed to in only a few short days of knowing him. "We're not?"

"This isn't something new."

"When Coach asked for my list of desired characteristics in a mate, I said you."

"You're lying."

"Intelligent. Attractive. Vulnerable. You disagree?"

He was doing this to try to annoy me. "Will you ask Coach to change our seats or not?"

"Pass. You've grown on me."

What was I supposed to say to that? He was obviously aiming to get a reaction out of me. Which wasn't difficult, I could never tell when he was joking, and when he was sincere.

"I think you'd be better with someone else. And I think you know it."

He laughed, albeit condescendingly. Not for the first time, I wished I knew what he was thinking. Because sometimes I was sure he was laughing at me. "Anything else, Lindsey?"

"No." I said. "See you tomorrow."

"Looking forward to it." He winked.

After Gerard was out of earshot, Kitty walked towards me, gripping my arm. "Good news. Way. That's his last name. I saw it on Coach's class roster."

"And that's something to smile about because...?"

"Everybody knows students are required to register prescription drugs with the nurse." She tugged at the front pocket of my backpack, where I kept my iron pills. "Likewise, everybody knows the nurse is conviently located inside the front office, where, as it happens, student files are kept."

Eyes aglow, Kitty locked her arm in mine and pulled me toward the door. "Time to do some real sleuthing."