A visual guide to terrorism...
Well, I haven't felt like I have had anything to post or when I have had something to post I haven't felt like posting it, but since it isn't every day I get accused of committing a terrorist act I think I have something to post...so here it is:
KENNIE'S VISUAL GUIDE TO BEING A TERRORIST IN NORTH TEXAS!!!
Step one: Get up in the morning. Take a shower and get dressed...making sure to brush your teeth and to put on sunscreen since you will have to go outside. Deodorant is also a good idea since you will be walking around and shooting for a few hours outside before anything happens, and we don't want to get stinky do we? The final result should look something like this:
...the beard is the important part, all good terrorist have beards...right?
Step two: Take one of these:
...and drive to an area of town that thinks that if they build a little canal between some buildings that it will be as cool as the River Walk in San Antonio...but in fact it has no real night life to speak of and most of the tourist trap businesses that moved in the area have long since closed. Also if they have built "the world's largest equestrian sculpture" there to attract people, some of which maybe bring cameras with them, it will even be better.
Step three: Realize that all the buildings in said area are ugly and uninteresting crap architecture and fucking up all your backgrounds, and start shooting images of the flora and of the water in the area. Such as these:
...okay so the framing isn't perfect on the second one and the centering is a little wonky on the first one (it either should be more off or more centered, but there was this huffy security guard standing over me while I was taking it), but really not a truly terrorist act...
Step four: When approached be polite, apologetic, and tell them you were in fact not taking pictures of the buildings (because as stated earlier they are ugly and boring...okay so there are some cool ones on the other side but by the time you get there the light is coming from behind them and you can't shoot them unless you came back in the morning when the light is right) but are taking pictures of flowers, leaves, and water. Making a joke about trying to shoot the ducks but they have too different of an artistic view from your own will not lighten the mood of the security guard. When told that you can't take pictures in the area, point out that there was no fence or gate to impede your arrival from a public street thus making one think that it was part of the common public walk way, and that there are no signs posted anywhere about not being allowed in the commercial/tourist trap area of this part of town or not to take photographs. This should huff up the underpaid security guard with an over inflated ego about his job, and make him make some comment about 9/11 and that you could be planning to blow up the hotel he works for or the other buildings in the area.
...also offering to show them what you have taken pictures of since it is a digital camera is also a good step...though they will decline. Guess he doesn't like Art.
Step five: Leave when asked to, since you have been shooting in the area for several hours before anyone bothered to take notice of you and you are sure there is really nothing left to shoot. On your walk back to your car, if you have ever worked as a security guard, wonder if you were that uptight and that much of an ass when you were working. Then go get some fried chicken, because it is right tasty.
Step six: Make a slightly snarky and amusing post about it later on LiveJournal since your roommate isn't home to talk to about it.
Alternate guide:
Step one: Get up in the morning, and look like this:
Step two: Run a terrorist organization and cause the pointless death of thousands.
KENNIE'S VISUAL GUIDE TO BEING A TERRORIST IN NORTH TEXAS!!!
Step one: Get up in the morning. Take a shower and get dressed...making sure to brush your teeth and to put on sunscreen since you will have to go outside. Deodorant is also a good idea since you will be walking around and shooting for a few hours outside before anything happens, and we don't want to get stinky do we? The final result should look something like this:
...the beard is the important part, all good terrorist have beards...right?
Step two: Take one of these:
...and drive to an area of town that thinks that if they build a little canal between some buildings that it will be as cool as the River Walk in San Antonio...but in fact it has no real night life to speak of and most of the tourist trap businesses that moved in the area have long since closed. Also if they have built "the world's largest equestrian sculpture" there to attract people, some of which maybe bring cameras with them, it will even be better.
Step three: Realize that all the buildings in said area are ugly and uninteresting crap architecture and fucking up all your backgrounds, and start shooting images of the flora and of the water in the area. Such as these:
...okay so the framing isn't perfect on the second one and the centering is a little wonky on the first one (it either should be more off or more centered, but there was this huffy security guard standing over me while I was taking it), but really not a truly terrorist act...
Step four: When approached be polite, apologetic, and tell them you were in fact not taking pictures of the buildings (because as stated earlier they are ugly and boring...okay so there are some cool ones on the other side but by the time you get there the light is coming from behind them and you can't shoot them unless you came back in the morning when the light is right) but are taking pictures of flowers, leaves, and water. Making a joke about trying to shoot the ducks but they have too different of an artistic view from your own will not lighten the mood of the security guard. When told that you can't take pictures in the area, point out that there was no fence or gate to impede your arrival from a public street thus making one think that it was part of the common public walk way, and that there are no signs posted anywhere about not being allowed in the commercial/tourist trap area of this part of town or not to take photographs. This should huff up the underpaid security guard with an over inflated ego about his job, and make him make some comment about 9/11 and that you could be planning to blow up the hotel he works for or the other buildings in the area.
...also offering to show them what you have taken pictures of since it is a digital camera is also a good step...though they will decline. Guess he doesn't like Art.
Step five: Leave when asked to, since you have been shooting in the area for several hours before anyone bothered to take notice of you and you are sure there is really nothing left to shoot. On your walk back to your car, if you have ever worked as a security guard, wonder if you were that uptight and that much of an ass when you were working. Then go get some fried chicken, because it is right tasty.
Step six: Make a slightly snarky and amusing post about it later on LiveJournal since your roommate isn't home to talk to about it.
Alternate guide:
Step one: Get up in the morning, and look like this:
Step two: Run a terrorist organization and cause the pointless death of thousands.