FUCKING WHY? ::disclaimer:: anyone who is in love should NOT read this.
why do my friends and i continually fall for people who hurt us? why do we perpetuate this thing, this notion called "love"? i think i have finally figured out what love is.... love is manipulation. love is the ultimate tool of manipulation
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The problem with love is that one of the people involved usually cares more than the other, which brings about this issue of power. I have been both the powerful and the powerless, and neither is much fun. Powerless, you feel hopless, pathetic, and unworthy. It can be a big blow to the ego and makes you question every aspect of yourself for not being "good enough." Powerful, doubt causes a constant struggle which inevitably causes you to feel like an asshole (no matter how tactfully you handle it).
Love can be a lot of things: wonderful, conniving, manipulative, and yes, bullshit. Just remember you deserve so much more than someone who is going to treat you poorly. And breakups will always cause cynicism; don't hate yourself for that (or for anything!). You just need to (eventually) keep hoping, like me, that there is such a thing as equal love and that it can and shall be conquered someday.
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I appreciate you commenting and thank you for all those nice things... I'm still shake-y on the love thing and and currently subscribing to the "only fools fall in love" newsletter.
But I am jealous of and admire anyone who still believes it shall conquer all.
Thanks again and I hope things are well with you!
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thankfully, you are surrounded by some of the most genuine, and caring friends that a person could ever ask for...don't forget that we will always be your stability.
as for this boy...believe me when i tell you that he is going to be so sorry one day when he wakes up and realizes who he gave up and the mistakes that he has made...no one has any right to treat ANYONE like that, especially you.
i don't know why people are manipulative with their emotions like this....its almost like "emotional blackmail"
but you are strong, smart, adorbale!, and one day you will find that someone that doesn't take that forgranted and will appreciate you for who you really are.
....it might just even be biker fox. how can you not love a man who is just so talented at everything? ESPECIALLY self portraits.
<3 8745987425
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thank you for saying all of those wonderful things. i don't deserve you!
well my dear, good luck with these last couple weeks of the term! I hope everything progresses smoothely and at an even pace. soon we should definitely go for tea because catching up is in order! OH YES! and if you need someone to study for art history with i'm volunteering!
love, hearts, and rainbows
becky
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i found you on the WKDU site.. and though I would check out your play lists.. then I came across this and just wanted to tell you that I think that all really sucks!!!! I know I don't know you but I wanted to tell you to hang in there.. and as cheesy as this is.. go check out the song "everytime" from Eric Himan. Hell, I'll send you a copy of the disc if you want..Addresses your topic thoroughly and directly!
I hope things have begun to brighten up! Spring is almost here!
Be well~
Cas
www.erichiman.com (everytime is on the disc "All for Show")
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Thanks for the friendly words they're always nice to hear. I will most definitely check out that song.
Stay tuned and give me a call at the station sometime. I'm on Fridays 9a-12p (215-895-5917).
Becky
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