I got myself a new pair of pants today right along with some plugs for my ears so I can get my god damn voc instructor off my back. My pants though are forking awesome. When I get the chance I'll get a pic taken of me with them on and post it ( Read more... )

God now I am so confused that it's not even funny anymore. I saw Mouse today as I had to before she moved out to Skowhegan which is 45 minutes away. In the process of seeing her I got called "The Infamous Shawn" and I've no idea why and it's driving me nuts. I almost made Mouse cry today which was SO not my intent. I had a poem of hers that I was ( Read more... )

Alright man this has got to stop. People are going to put me in an insane asylum if they don't chill with the mind games and shit. I'm already teetering on the egde, too much more and I'll fall.

Why do I even bother? I mean seriously, why?

You know what whatever, I'm done trying and done caring, fuck everyone.
No one wants to hold me in their heart so why I should I hold anyone period?

One thought sticks out in my mind right about now and it comes from the other night while we were having a thunderstorm here in Bangor. *chuckles* Mouse brought me home from Job Corps and we took off into the house to escape the rain. Well me being stupid and wanting to have fun dashed back out into the rain and just stood there with Mouse staring ( Read more... )

Well now things are just starting to become weird, stressful and just plain annoying. There is too much drama going on around my life that it's not funny. These people sit here and expect me to do all this stuff I can't do because of who and what I am. I'm not even gonna go into detail about what as it would annoy me further. *grumbles incoherently ( Read more... )

Today has to be the best day I've had in a long time. A day where I could actually let myself feel and actually feel something more then pain. I actually felt happiness for once in over a year. I can't explain how good this feels. God I'm gleaming but at the same time I'm also scared as all hell but I'm trying to keep from those thoughts. I won't ( Read more... )

I swear to god, I've had enough of Job Corps. If I have to go out on my own and fucking work my ass off to get through life then so fucking be it but that place is pissing me off to no end. There may very well be a chance that I get terminated from their program but I don't care anymore. Not after the events of tonight. I got fucking surrounded and ( Read more... )

Well today shall officially bite. Today is the day I have to go up to the Loring Job Corps further north in Maine. Bleh someone shoot me now. I don't really wanna go to this thing but I have no choice now. It's too close to get out of it. Oh well, gotta do what I gotta do. *shrugs* Wel on the brighter side of things a good friend and I have started ( Read more... )

Damn man this crap has got to stuff. I'm overly stressed and I'm starting to lose it. I blew up at my mom yesterday, I mean all out scream fest over something that didn't deserve it. We were discussing my life and my focus issues and I just cracked and *BANG!!!!*. *shakes his head* Shortly afterwards I apologized because I know she didn't deserve ( Read more... )