Nov 15, 2006 15:45
you're an explorer and you're wandering the jungles of far-away land "x". you burst through the tropical underbrush and discover a gorgeous fountain carved from marble and adorned with pearl.
do you find yourself hoping that it is a fountain of youth, beauty, truth, or knowledge?
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on an infinite timescale, i have all the time in the world to attain beauty and knowledge, and through my knowledge truth.
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really, so long as you don't start with beauty, any of them can lead to the others.
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i am insecure and have horrible abandonment issues. i attatch myself to beautiful things and beautiful people because i am a mindwrecked little boy who wants to be adored and looked at the way that i look at the saints and the lovers. i don't care about knowledge, and imortality isn't something i'm prepared for. truth, fuck, as much as i claim to be a shamanminded truthseeker all i really do is take a lot of psychadelics so that maybe i can understand myself a little better. i believe everything as it is, and if i knew that everything i believed was wrong i'd be even more completely wrecked. also, i wan't nothing of knowledge. any knowledge that i have is completely coincidental. thought is the enemy, to quote an old antiguru.
if i have beauty, i could be protected, cared for, treated kindly and that other thing that people do with beautiful things.
wow, all this seriousbusiness is making me dizy. i should stick to cryptia and illusion.
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