Cesc and Nick's Beginning (or ending so it may be)
Title: The Last Time
Rating: PG-13, maybe light R
Characters: Cesc Fabregas, Nicklas Bendtner
"We need to talk."
Those were words that Nicklas Bendtner knew he never wanted to hear. At least, he never wanted to hear them come from the person who had just walked into his small uptown flat with eyes so dark they were almost black. Nick sighed and closed his laptop (sitting comfortably on the coffee table in front of him), reminding himself that maybe it wouldn’t be that bad.
"What’s up, Cesc?"
"Um..."
Now that the conversation had been started, Nick’s best friend looked decidedly uncomfortable. He twisted the hem of his shirt in his hand and looked everywhere around the small living room except for the blond sitting dead center on the couch.
"You’re my best friend, Nicky."
Nick felt his gut twist. He was certain he wasn’t going to like the way this conversation was going to go. He took a deep breath and patted the empty space next to him, inviting the smaller man to sit. Cesc considered the option a second before deciding that the couch was the only acceptable place to sit.
"I know, Cesc. You’re my best friend too-have been ever since I moved here from Denmark two years ago. What’s going on?"
"I-" Cesc spoke softly, "I don’t want to hurt your feelings or anything..."
"You won’t."
Cesc turned, his right hand coming up to pat gently at the stubble-covered cheek closest to him. The corner of his lip turned up into a small smile before he continued.
"I don’t think this will work anymore." The young Spaniard gestured between them and tried to clarify. "You’re my best friend, Nicky, not my-my fuck buddy. It’s just...we can’t have sex anymore."
Nick took another deep breath before answering, the bluntness of his best friend’s statement shocking him. He tried his best to keep his voice neutral, but his words came out shaky.
"Okay. I mean, it was never really...anything serious, right? Just sex?"
Cesc exhaled in relief, a genuine smile pulling his lips up.
"Right. Right. Just sex." He paused and added, unsurely, "Still best friends?"
Nick reached out and punched the older boy in the shoulder.
"Always."
"Good. I-damn, I didn’t want you to think that I didn’t-"
"I understand." Nick looked away, his gut twisting so tight that he was sure he would throw up his entire breakfast any moment now. "So...did you find a new boyfriend then?"
"Huh? Oh. Oh, no!" Cesc hurried to explain. He twisted his hands around the hem of his shirt once more. "I, um, I’m moving."
It took several seconds for that last statement to sink through Nick’s brain. The idea of Cesc finding a new boyfriend ever since Robin had broken up with him months ago had been on his mind for so long that any other possibility for this conversation taking place had never occurred to him. Moving-that was certainly unexpected.
"Wait. What?"
"I heard about an opportunity in London," his best friend told him, "You know how much I hate doing those catalogue spreads and my career isn’t really going anywhere and-"
"England?"
Nick’s mouth stayed open to say more, but no other words came out. His best friend was moving to England? Really? But then he would be all alone in Barcelona-except for his writing lab partner, Theo, but he couldn’t really be counted for much more than a proofread and a suggestion or two. Nick wrapped an arm around his midsection as his stomach heaved.
"I’ve thought about it a lot, Nicky. I can’t keep doing low-end modeling jobs here in Spain. There’s a new line starting over there. It’s high class," Cesc explained, "And Iker Casillas-I know you’ve heard of him-he’s their main model. I want that life, Nick. I need that life."
"England."
"England," Cesc repeated. He eyed Nick curiously as the blond blinked rapidly a few times. "Are you okay?"
"Fine. Just-you really want to leave...Barcelona?" Nick asked. He didn’t add what he was really thinking-that Cesc wanted to leave him. He didn’t think he could handle the answer.
"Nicky." Cesc reached over and put his hand around Nick’s free one. He squeezed gently, waiting for the blond to look at him. "I need to. Please, understand!"
"When?"
"...Friday."
Nick drew in a sharp breath, the words hitting him hard. Friday-two days from now. Too soon, his brain screamed at him. He was losing his best friend (and something more than that, he knew) in two days. He wasn’t expecting it to be so soon. His chest burned and the pressure suddenly felt too much over his heart. Pulling his hand away from Cesc, he stood up and made his way into the tiny kitchen adjoining the living room.
"Nick?" Cesc followed after him. "Don’t be this way! Please! You know I’m not-"
"Shut up, Cesc." Nick took another shaky breath and leaned his head against the cool metal of the quietly humming refrigerator. He tried desperately to organize his thoughts into words. "I don’t understand. Why couldn’t you tell me earlier? It’s so soon..there’s not enough time to-to do anything."
"I’ll miss you," Cesc said so quietly that Nick didn’t hear him.
"I won’t have anyone to help me write my articles for the school paper anymore," Nick continued. He closed his eyes. "I don’t have other friends here, Cesc. I-how am I going to-"
"Don’t do this," the older boy pleaded. "Please, Nicky! This is why I didn’t tell-I couldn’t deal with this stuff."
"I thought we were going to move to London after I finished this term. We were going to work at a-" Nick cut off as a thought entered into his head. His eyes popped open and he turned quickly to face the other man again. "I’m going too!"
Now it was Cesc’s turn to draw in a sharp breath.
"What?"
"You can model and I’ll write articles! I can do it, Cesc! I can." Nick stood up straight, straightening his shoulders. "We always wanted to work together and if you’re leaving so am I."
"But your school...you’re almost finished."
"I can’t live in Barcelona without my best friend. You’re the only reason I’ve stayed here for two years. If you’re moving so am I, Cesc."
Cesc shook his head.
"No. You’re so close to getting your-"
"Fuck, I don’t care!"
"Nick-"
"Just shut up, okay!" Nick punched at the fridge, wincing as his knuckles screamed in pain. "If you go, I go. We’re best friends for fuckssake!"
Cesc’s mouth dropped open and he rushed over as he saw Nick clench at his right hand. He squeezed at the taller man’s arm, eyes concerned.
"Holy crap! Did you hurt yourself? Why did you punch metal? Are you stupid?" He turned to the counter and grabbed the first towel he could reach. "Here, I’ll get ice and-"
"It’s not that bad."
"Nicky, it’s swelling," Cesc told him as he reached into the freezer for ice, "I know it’s hurting."
"I’ve had worse. Remember when I fell over the couch last week and sprained my ankle? This is nothing."
Cesc laughed briefly before placing the homemade ice pack over Nick’s hand. He rolled his eyes as Nick tried to pull away and moved closer to keep the Dane from backing away.
"Stay still."
Nick tensed as Cesc curled his hands protectively around the ice pack. All thoughts of his best friend moving away left his mind as he felt the Catalan’s fingers brush his wrist. Looking down into those deep brown eyes twisted his gut again, but for an entirely different reason this time. The Dane suddenly remembered the way those eyes had burned into his just last night as the Spaniard was wriggling beneath him, and he closed his eyes as he tried to forget the feel of Cesc pressed against his body.
Cesc must have been thinking something along the same lines because his cheeks suddenly turned pink and he looked down to where his hands were wrapped around Nick’s own.
"Cesc-" Nick’s voice was full of need.
"Nicky, we can’t."
"One last time," Nick pleaded. He opened his eyes and moved forward, pressing into the smaller man. "Please."
"But. I don’t want you to think I’m just-"
Nick threw the ice pack toward the sink and curled his arms around Cesc’s smaller frame, making him stop mid sentence. He leaned down, his lips brushing the top of a perfectly coifed fauhawk. Knowing it was wrong to encourage his best friend, he tried to tell himself it was just closure to whatever relationship they had in the past and making their friendship much stronger. Cesc sighed softly and Nick knew the battle was won.
"Last time."
"Will you forget about dropping out of school?"
Nick shook his head.
"We’ll talk about it tomorrow morning. Right now, I only want to think about fucking you."
"I-"
"Shut up and get into the bedroom."
Nick shook away the feelings of guilt and anger and focused on following the other man down the hallway and into the small bedroom. His chest still ached with the news that Cesc wanted to leave Barcelona (and him), but he pushed it away as he stripped out of his t-shirt and jeans. He would think about it tomorrow when he had more time.