nothing ever goes back to the way it was before hearts are broken. i dont know what story book you were taught from as a kid. but i wish i had a copy to read and make myself believe too.

im keeping track and its not even on purpose.
infact, i wish i could stop the incessant thinking.

tonight is exactly one month.
lonliness was always my most treasured companion.

wanna know the best feeling in the entire world?

let me tell you.

its when you are finally finding stability on your own. its taken you a while. even if relationships werent ideal in the beginning...youd still learned to live as a unity. think. act...

breathe....as one. a whole ( Read more... )

a phone call can be more dangerous than i remember.

i try not to regret. regret is dumb. i was only doing what i thought was best at the time.

so when i know that i am making a mistake as im dialing a number, wouldnt you think i hang up the phone before the receiver picks up. im not that smart.phone calls were returned a week later ( Read more... )

if we were cartoons. id light you on fire with the lighter you secretly stash in your pocket. watch your body burst into flames. watch your body sizzle into ashes. leaving only your eyes on top of the pile looking up at me. holding your quiet lighter ( Read more... )

some girls are not funny. faces should "accidently" connect with my angry fist.

now, that would be funny. because i am a funny girl.

bitches.

some days...some days i wake up and lay awake in my bed. eyes tightly shut and i wish. to be in someone else's skin. to live a life other than my own. would i handle their trials as perfectly as i handle my own? would i succeed because i had a different face, body? or would i be a recluse basket case waking up some mornings and wishing to be yet ( Read more... )

i found myself once again walking tonight. alone. my imagination is not what it used to be and i always end up in the same place. maybe i take comfort in the footbridge. maybe i hope to run into old memories. im not sure. im not sure of much these days ( Read more... )

i am cold and scared.

you know how when youre tired and you feel like scraping off your skin and starting over?

starting over from what?

life.four am garbage trucks outside my window are even worse than laugh tracks ( Read more... )