The Commander, the Soldier, the Deserter
Title: The Commander, the Soldier, the Deserter
Author: theirblinggirl
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jaeil (sort of, again. and the other sort-of-pairings that I don't want to spoil yet)
Word count: 1639
Summary: They leave for the mission, the others watch them, but not everyone is as resigned as Ahn Jaehyo.
A/N: Here I am with the second installment to In the Windowsill, which, at this point, I call "Battleground AU" in my head because it's greatly inspired by that album. This part shows more of the plot and tries to present all the characters (aka now all of Block B is in it) but the frame of the story will stay focused on Jaeil.
Special thanks and lots of love to ladyasriel because she's been so supportive and inquisitive and lovely <3
~*~
"And my love will be your armor
In this battlefield around you"
The Wanted - I'll be your strength
It feels as if the whole city came out to send them off - or rather, to watch them leave.
Jaehyo knows it can’t be, the mission is supposed to be secret but somehow, everyone in the Tower knows they are out for something big, and people gather around the entrance as they make their way to the garage just a few streets down from the building.
The soldiers take their guns out - they can’t fire them without a proper target, not since the Third Weaponry Edict, but the gesture is the same. The citizens that came - why are they even here, what faint idea could they have about anything that’s going on in the Tower? - sprinkle water and dust on them. Jaehyo can understand the dust, it’s almost a little touching because even though it’s not true, the gesture means their homeland awaits their return. Too bad they are not even going to leave the land Jaehyo once called “home”.
But the water, he thinks it’s a bit too much for three death-sentenced outcasts. Water is not something to just carelessly sprinkle around, not since last November’s raid on the main water-purifying centers.
He wonders if it was his vice-commander who arranged the water. He’d do that, something this flashy, this delicate and just borderline rebellious to express his dissatisfaction with Jaehyo’s last order. It’s a small wonder that out of all the people of this land, it’s only him that kept his trust for Jaehyo, even if he can’t fight the bugging thought in the back of his head that maybe, just maybe, it’s only because he is not even from this country and though having spent most of his life here, he still couldn’t become as corrupt as Jaehyo thinks they all are.
As hard as it was to arrange, almost the whole city comes out to send them off, but Captain Lee Minhyuk suddenly just wants them to disappear. He doesn’t want to boy he failed to be remembered like this - to be remembered walking off into certain death with two traitors, two criminals, two… despicable human beings on his sides. He doesn’t want him to become a hero with them, because heroes of their land are dead and he can’t just stand by and let him die. Not yet. Not like this. Not by Minhyuk’s fault - almost as if by his hands.
Minhyuk has told this to the boy last night and he laughed it off, like he did with everything he didn’t want to talk about, like he did all the time in the makeshift camps out in the battlefields, his cheerful voice oppressed by the echoes of bombs but still radiating strength into all his comrades.
He insisted it was not Minhyuk’s fault - that he was fully aware of the consequences of his actions, of disobeying orders and that he has not regretted it for one second, but Minhyuk knows he is lying. He sees through the small, glimmering eyes and the vehement headshakes, he sees through the boy and knows he held it all in his hands, he is certain it’s his fault. Minhyuk was his superior, he was responsible for the boy, he is responsible for everyone under him, for their actions as well as their lives, everyone but especially this one boy, too bright and too young for this land, for this war… Too beautiful and precious to die for people that wear suits instead of uniforms and sit in wide armchairs instead of sleeping bags somewhere on the dead fields, that change their minds and their commands like the wind and betray all their men in the blink of an eye.
Just like Minhyuk did.
And now they are sending him away, far away with two criminals as if he was one of them when all he did was following orders - following Minhyuk’s orders.
Minhyuk is the criminal, not him. Guilty of betraying his men and soon, he will be guilty of this boy’s death too.
He raises his gun just like his men lining up by his side and his finger trembles on the trigger. He knows that if he’d fire, all of his men - all of the boy’s comrades - would follow him, and there would be consequences. So he can’t. He can’t betray them again.
When they walk past him, Minhyuk can hardly tear his eyes away from the boy - the only one with his head high and his face bright, but all he sees is the face from last night, with red eyes and slightly trembling lips, and all he hears are those desperate words whispered into the deaf darkness when he thought Minhyuk was asleep.
Those simple words of “I don’t want to die yet, Captain…”
Lee Minhyuk wonders if he is maybe not better than Commander Ahn Jaehyo who is passing by him with stark steps and an unreadably empty expression.
There are whispers that Commander Ahn Jaehyo has betrayed the entire Parliament, but his rank was too high to just execute him without a proper explanation or disclose of circumstances, and the Parliament is really careful not to plant panic and doubt in the people’s heads.
They don’t want any more of them to join the revolutionists.
So now they are sending him away to become a martyr, the Nation’s heroic dead and Minhyuk wants to scream in frustration at the unfairness of the situation, the unfairness of putting the traitor Ahn Jaehyo and this innocent, young boy in the same boat to sink them together.
Instead he just raises his gun higher, forces his eyes to stay open and fixed on the boy - a slight self-punishment but Minhyuk has to stay unwavering for his men - and nods to the mass.
At his signal, he people start sprinkling dust and the water that Minhyuk spend all of his wage on, and wonders if this was really the last thing he could do for him.
Woo Jiho hardly has any memories of capital Halo, but this one would taint all of them with dark, devastated powerlessness for sure.
He doesn’t risk taking the lift-ride downstairs and out of the Tower (doubts his guards would even let him) so all he can do is watch through the thick, unbreakable glass as the three men - boys cruelly made into soldiers - leave the building and the city amongst cheering crowd.
Jiho hates the crowd because they are stupid and ignorant. Ignorance is a huge sin in Jiho’s eyes. Ignorance pushed the whole nation into this - now - pointless war, ignorance cost more lives than they can count now, and now it threatens to take away one more. One more that is dearer to Jiho than anyone else.
His own ignorance - ignoring the signs he noticed so early in this cruel game, ignoring the implicated warnings of his late brother - was what brought them both into this impossible situation, and now his best friend has to pay for it while all Jiho can do it sit back and watch helplessly.
When he spots them stepping out of the building, he stands up and rushes to the window so quickly he doesn’t even realize it before the sharp pain in his legs strikes in. The damned wheelchair is already about three longs steps behind him and Jiho grabs the windowsill to support himself.
He didn’t manage to make three whole steps without help in weeks, but now, even though his hands start to take on the trembling of his legs and his head is starting to spin, he wants to run. He wants to break through the thick glass (when did he even start pounding his fists into it?), he wants to fly down - to jump down - and go after those three and go with them, go in his place or go with him at least, how could they even think they can let him on his own, that they can let him go without Jiho, what is he going to do without Jiho? It’s Jiho and not him who should go back to the place they hardly escaped, it’s Jiho they should test - or punish - and not him, everything is Jiho’s fault, joining the revolution, it was Jiho’s idea, sneaking into the Central Control Office was Jiho’s idea, stealing those documents was Jiho’s idea, deserting from the revolutionist camp once he found out about their hidden motives and lost all illusions of freedom was Jiho’s idea. Jiho’s own, stupid idea, and now all he can do is stay back and watch as they send his best friend, who had no say in any of this, back where Jiho can’t protect him, can’t save his stupid, annoying ass anymore, can’t cover him with his own body in an explosion once more.
He doubts those two would do the same and it’s killing Jiho, the panic and the anger is taking over him so strongly he doesn’t even notice when the scars on his arms rive until the glass becomes slippery with blood and his legs can’t hold him up any longer.
The last thing he hears before losing consciousness are the shouts of his guards as they call for the doctor, and the last thing he sees is the retreating back of his best friend - his only friend left.
It may not be the whole city, but certainly the whole Tower Of Military Intelligence And Capital Commanding Headquarters that watches the departure of Commander Ahn Jaehyo, Kim Yukwon Soldier and the deserter Park Kyung.
The only person in the Tower with his back at the window and the huge LCD screens is Lee Taeil, who turns to the small fish tank in his laboratory and gently knocks on the glass while Pyo Jihoon from the Medical Department and Vice-Commander Luhan of Legion B share a disappointed, unbelieving glance over his head.
A/N2: So yay, anyone more confused than before? Or has this helped a little to answer some questions at all? :) If you have like any questions, please ask them, really <3 Now I just want to thank you all for reading even if you can't comment and especially those that told me they were curious about more of this au, I hope I didn't disappoint you too much.
Two things I'd definitely like to clear up: the other pairings and Luhan. To me it's hard to completely ignore the usual pairings of the Block B fandom, and naturally, the question of UBomb and ZiKyung comes up here. Again, I ship no BB pairings RL but fanfic-wise they do have certain appeal, but really, i won't just turn this into a sad lovestory of torn-apart lovers :) At this point into the AU, both zikyung and ubomb have their chance of being more than close friends/people that mean lots to each other but it's really not totally solid yet, even to me. (I do have some vague ideas and plans but who knows...) I'd just like everyone to see what you want to see in them, that's sort of the point for the whole AU.
Second, Luhan and Jaehyo's... relevance comes from this picture and because of my recent, impossible attraction towards Luhan and because i can and because he is lovely <3 I don't really think there will be more people from Exo because otherwise i'm not that much into them, but yes, Luhan will be an important character and yes, that may result in cameos from his bandmates^^
(Oh and yeah I think I might just choose all the quotes from The Wanted's Battleground album because I listen to that all the time while writing and I advise you all to listen to it because it's awesome<3)
Author: theirblinggirl
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jaeil (sort of, again. and the other sort-of-pairings that I don't want to spoil yet)
Word count: 1639
Summary: They leave for the mission, the others watch them, but not everyone is as resigned as Ahn Jaehyo.
A/N: Here I am with the second installment to In the Windowsill, which, at this point, I call "Battleground AU" in my head because it's greatly inspired by that album. This part shows more of the plot and tries to present all the characters (aka now all of Block B is in it) but the frame of the story will stay focused on Jaeil.
Special thanks and lots of love to ladyasriel because she's been so supportive and inquisitive and lovely <3
~*~
"And my love will be your armor
In this battlefield around you"
The Wanted - I'll be your strength
It feels as if the whole city came out to send them off - or rather, to watch them leave.
Jaehyo knows it can’t be, the mission is supposed to be secret but somehow, everyone in the Tower knows they are out for something big, and people gather around the entrance as they make their way to the garage just a few streets down from the building.
The soldiers take their guns out - they can’t fire them without a proper target, not since the Third Weaponry Edict, but the gesture is the same. The citizens that came - why are they even here, what faint idea could they have about anything that’s going on in the Tower? - sprinkle water and dust on them. Jaehyo can understand the dust, it’s almost a little touching because even though it’s not true, the gesture means their homeland awaits their return. Too bad they are not even going to leave the land Jaehyo once called “home”.
But the water, he thinks it’s a bit too much for three death-sentenced outcasts. Water is not something to just carelessly sprinkle around, not since last November’s raid on the main water-purifying centers.
He wonders if it was his vice-commander who arranged the water. He’d do that, something this flashy, this delicate and just borderline rebellious to express his dissatisfaction with Jaehyo’s last order. It’s a small wonder that out of all the people of this land, it’s only him that kept his trust for Jaehyo, even if he can’t fight the bugging thought in the back of his head that maybe, just maybe, it’s only because he is not even from this country and though having spent most of his life here, he still couldn’t become as corrupt as Jaehyo thinks they all are.
As hard as it was to arrange, almost the whole city comes out to send them off, but Captain Lee Minhyuk suddenly just wants them to disappear. He doesn’t want to boy he failed to be remembered like this - to be remembered walking off into certain death with two traitors, two criminals, two… despicable human beings on his sides. He doesn’t want him to become a hero with them, because heroes of their land are dead and he can’t just stand by and let him die. Not yet. Not like this. Not by Minhyuk’s fault - almost as if by his hands.
Minhyuk has told this to the boy last night and he laughed it off, like he did with everything he didn’t want to talk about, like he did all the time in the makeshift camps out in the battlefields, his cheerful voice oppressed by the echoes of bombs but still radiating strength into all his comrades.
He insisted it was not Minhyuk’s fault - that he was fully aware of the consequences of his actions, of disobeying orders and that he has not regretted it for one second, but Minhyuk knows he is lying. He sees through the small, glimmering eyes and the vehement headshakes, he sees through the boy and knows he held it all in his hands, he is certain it’s his fault. Minhyuk was his superior, he was responsible for the boy, he is responsible for everyone under him, for their actions as well as their lives, everyone but especially this one boy, too bright and too young for this land, for this war… Too beautiful and precious to die for people that wear suits instead of uniforms and sit in wide armchairs instead of sleeping bags somewhere on the dead fields, that change their minds and their commands like the wind and betray all their men in the blink of an eye.
Just like Minhyuk did.
And now they are sending him away, far away with two criminals as if he was one of them when all he did was following orders - following Minhyuk’s orders.
Minhyuk is the criminal, not him. Guilty of betraying his men and soon, he will be guilty of this boy’s death too.
He raises his gun just like his men lining up by his side and his finger trembles on the trigger. He knows that if he’d fire, all of his men - all of the boy’s comrades - would follow him, and there would be consequences. So he can’t. He can’t betray them again.
When they walk past him, Minhyuk can hardly tear his eyes away from the boy - the only one with his head high and his face bright, but all he sees is the face from last night, with red eyes and slightly trembling lips, and all he hears are those desperate words whispered into the deaf darkness when he thought Minhyuk was asleep.
Those simple words of “I don’t want to die yet, Captain…”
Lee Minhyuk wonders if he is maybe not better than Commander Ahn Jaehyo who is passing by him with stark steps and an unreadably empty expression.
There are whispers that Commander Ahn Jaehyo has betrayed the entire Parliament, but his rank was too high to just execute him without a proper explanation or disclose of circumstances, and the Parliament is really careful not to plant panic and doubt in the people’s heads.
They don’t want any more of them to join the revolutionists.
So now they are sending him away to become a martyr, the Nation’s heroic dead and Minhyuk wants to scream in frustration at the unfairness of the situation, the unfairness of putting the traitor Ahn Jaehyo and this innocent, young boy in the same boat to sink them together.
Instead he just raises his gun higher, forces his eyes to stay open and fixed on the boy - a slight self-punishment but Minhyuk has to stay unwavering for his men - and nods to the mass.
At his signal, he people start sprinkling dust and the water that Minhyuk spend all of his wage on, and wonders if this was really the last thing he could do for him.
Woo Jiho hardly has any memories of capital Halo, but this one would taint all of them with dark, devastated powerlessness for sure.
He doesn’t risk taking the lift-ride downstairs and out of the Tower (doubts his guards would even let him) so all he can do is watch through the thick, unbreakable glass as the three men - boys cruelly made into soldiers - leave the building and the city amongst cheering crowd.
Jiho hates the crowd because they are stupid and ignorant. Ignorance is a huge sin in Jiho’s eyes. Ignorance pushed the whole nation into this - now - pointless war, ignorance cost more lives than they can count now, and now it threatens to take away one more. One more that is dearer to Jiho than anyone else.
His own ignorance - ignoring the signs he noticed so early in this cruel game, ignoring the implicated warnings of his late brother - was what brought them both into this impossible situation, and now his best friend has to pay for it while all Jiho can do it sit back and watch helplessly.
When he spots them stepping out of the building, he stands up and rushes to the window so quickly he doesn’t even realize it before the sharp pain in his legs strikes in. The damned wheelchair is already about three longs steps behind him and Jiho grabs the windowsill to support himself.
He didn’t manage to make three whole steps without help in weeks, but now, even though his hands start to take on the trembling of his legs and his head is starting to spin, he wants to run. He wants to break through the thick glass (when did he even start pounding his fists into it?), he wants to fly down - to jump down - and go after those three and go with them, go in his place or go with him at least, how could they even think they can let him on his own, that they can let him go without Jiho, what is he going to do without Jiho? It’s Jiho and not him who should go back to the place they hardly escaped, it’s Jiho they should test - or punish - and not him, everything is Jiho’s fault, joining the revolution, it was Jiho’s idea, sneaking into the Central Control Office was Jiho’s idea, stealing those documents was Jiho’s idea, deserting from the revolutionist camp once he found out about their hidden motives and lost all illusions of freedom was Jiho’s idea. Jiho’s own, stupid idea, and now all he can do is stay back and watch as they send his best friend, who had no say in any of this, back where Jiho can’t protect him, can’t save his stupid, annoying ass anymore, can’t cover him with his own body in an explosion once more.
He doubts those two would do the same and it’s killing Jiho, the panic and the anger is taking over him so strongly he doesn’t even notice when the scars on his arms rive until the glass becomes slippery with blood and his legs can’t hold him up any longer.
The last thing he hears before losing consciousness are the shouts of his guards as they call for the doctor, and the last thing he sees is the retreating back of his best friend - his only friend left.
It may not be the whole city, but certainly the whole Tower Of Military Intelligence And Capital Commanding Headquarters that watches the departure of Commander Ahn Jaehyo, Kim Yukwon Soldier and the deserter Park Kyung.
The only person in the Tower with his back at the window and the huge LCD screens is Lee Taeil, who turns to the small fish tank in his laboratory and gently knocks on the glass while Pyo Jihoon from the Medical Department and Vice-Commander Luhan of Legion B share a disappointed, unbelieving glance over his head.
A/N2: So yay, anyone more confused than before? Or has this helped a little to answer some questions at all? :) If you have like any questions, please ask them, really <3 Now I just want to thank you all for reading even if you can't comment and especially those that told me they were curious about more of this au, I hope I didn't disappoint you too much.
Two things I'd definitely like to clear up: the other pairings and Luhan. To me it's hard to completely ignore the usual pairings of the Block B fandom, and naturally, the question of UBomb and ZiKyung comes up here. Again, I ship no BB pairings RL but fanfic-wise they do have certain appeal, but really, i won't just turn this into a sad lovestory of torn-apart lovers :) At this point into the AU, both zikyung and ubomb have their chance of being more than close friends/people that mean lots to each other but it's really not totally solid yet, even to me. (I do have some vague ideas and plans but who knows...) I'd just like everyone to see what you want to see in them, that's sort of the point for the whole AU.
Second, Luhan and Jaehyo's... relevance comes from this picture and because of my recent, impossible attraction towards Luhan and because i can and because he is lovely <3 I don't really think there will be more people from Exo because otherwise i'm not that much into them, but yes, Luhan will be an important character and yes, that may result in cameos from his bandmates^^
(Oh and yeah I think I might just choose all the quotes from The Wanted's Battleground album because I listen to that all the time while writing and I advise you all to listen to it because it's awesome<3)