나쁜 넘
Title: 나쁜 넘 (Bad guy)
Author: theirblinggirl
Rating: R
Pairing: Eunyoung/N(/Leo) (otl fuck)
Word count: 5100~
Summary: People indeed do crazy things in the name of love.
A/N: woah wow it's VIXX! yes I am sorry this was supposed to be an attempt at NC-17 and it failed because I got emitonally carried away? This might also probably the result of my original OTP and The Fandom OTP crashing in my head and just idk. (also if you haven't seen Hakyeon and Eunyoung on Romantic&Idol and All The Kpop you probably should because then this OTP will make much more sense and also because FEELZ and because it's been quite a long time since I wished a ship to be an actual real thing this hard)
The first time she notices it, Eunyoung tries her best to ignore the sudden, albeit not quite as shocking as it should be-discovery. It’s not half as hard as it could be, because they are at a party, and the loud music, the dim lights and the fruity smell of something alcoholic in her hand are doing a fairly good job at fading the borders of reality and imagination. But it’s there regardless, they are there, Hakyeon just a few steps away and it’s always been impossible for her to ignore his presence, not when all of her senses are taut towards him, his vibrant, lean form that lights up whichever room he walks into.
So she sees, bright as daylight, where Hakyeon stands, one arm lightly thrown around Jung Taekwoon’s shoulder, and he laughs at his best friend and Taekwoon also cracks a smile, not half as shining as Hakyeon’s but charming nonetheless.
The realization hits in stronger than Eunyoung would’ve expected and she feels a pang of jealousy turning the artificially sweet taste in her mouth bitter.
Hakyeon has never smiled at her in such an open and easy and enthusiastic way, not in the two years they’ve been dating, not even once. But Taekwoon’s been there before her, he’s been there since high school and Eunyoung only met Hakyeon when she started college. He’s already been the best friend when the girlfriend appeared and Eunyoung remembers feeling quite lucky about Taekwoon, actually, because he was always nice to her, didn’t try to convince Hakyeon into stupid stuff and spending more time away from her, actually tried and succeeded in talking sense into him whenever Eunyoung failed. He wasn’t one of those annoying guys coming with a boyfriend her own friends often complained about, and Eunyoung learned over the months that Hakyeon and Taekwoon shared a friendship stronger than most people she knew. Except now that she looks at them - now that she sees the way Hakyeon’s tipsy eyes trace along the lines of Taekwoon’s unique, sharp features, she understands that maybe for him, it’s more than any friendship should be.
It hurts, hurts like seven hells because suddenly Eunyoung realizes that everything their relationship lacks, everything she’s tried so hard to sweep under the rag and ignore and prayed to dissolve over time, everything she’s always felt Hakyeon missing from her is standing right beside him. And what hurts maybe even more is that Taekwoon doesn’t seem to realize at all.
Eunyoung turns away and starts looking for a friend - she spots Surin soon enough and she has no idea what to do anymore but right now, right now she can’t bear to watch Hakyeon any longer so she practically runs up to her friend, a wide and stiff smile plastered across her face, and asks her if she can sleep over tonight. One thing she knows for sure is that she can’t go back to their tiny, shared apartment where everything reminds her of Hakyeon and Hakyeon’s face suddenly can’t come separated from Taekwoon’s.
It takes quite some time for her to build up the courage to call Taekwoon, to ask him to meet and talk. ‘Is this about Hakyeon?’ he asks, voice soft and steady over the line, and Eunyoung has so suppress a bitter laugh because what hasn’t been about Hakyeon ever since the first day they met?
She expects Taekwoon to immediately say no, to call her crazy or even to laugh at her or freak out. None of that happens. He falls silent instead, which is nothing out of the ordinary since he’s always been silent, and he just stares at her for a long, long time, so long that Eunyoung actually starts to feel self-conscious - not like mustering up all her courage and willpower to even ask Taekwoon in the first place hasn’t already made her anxious enough. She’s never been that kind of girl, after all. Easy-going and friendly, yes, but not that open-minded or curious. And she’s never been with anyone but Hakyeon - never even wanted to be with anyone else than him.
After what it feels like a small eternity, Taekwoon lowers his head and says yes and Eunyoung doesn’t dare asking questions.
When Hakyeon comes home two days later, he finds Eunyoung and Taekwoon sitting on the couch in awkward silence. They’ve talked - Taekwoon insisted on talking, asking her over and over if she was sure, if this was really what she wanted till Eunyoung felt like screaming at him because no, no, no, never, she never wanted this, she never wanted sitting on a couch with the man her boyfriend had feelings for, she would have rather died than to share Hakyeon with anybody, but this is what he wants, has been wanting for God knows how long and Eunyoung is going to give it to him, there is nothing in this world she wouldn’t give Hakyeon as long as she had the powers to do so.
‘What is going on?’ Hakyeon asks, kicking his shoes off and stepping into the living room and suddenly Eunyoung panics because maybe she really hasn’t thought this through, she doesn’t know how to answer, she has no idea what is really going on.
‘Eunyoung-sshi asked me to come’ Taekwoon answers, and she wants to laugh because yes, that is exactly the truth, that is what happened but at the same time that doesn’t matter at all and also, he’s calling her “sshi” in a situation like this… She somehow collects herself enough to beckon Hakyeon over, gently pulls him down on the couch between the two of them. He holds her hand and Eunyoung has half the heart to pull away immediately, but she doesn’t because Hakyeon looks clueless and worried and she started this so she has to see it through.
‘It’s just what you… what you wanted, isn’t it? And don’t dare lying to me, Cha Hakyeon… Not anymore’ she whispers, voice cracking, and strangely enough, she finds strength in Taekwoon’s eyes to continue. Hakyeon, the always blabbering, always witty Hakyeon remains silent, looking from Taekwoon to Eunyoung and back and she almost snaps because this, this tension, this hesitation is maddening.
Instead she takes his hand with trembling fingers and lifts it slowly towards Taekwoon’s face. Hakyeon looks bewildered but he doesn’t protest, doesn’t say a word, just stares at his own hand, nearing his friend’s face and Eunyoung closes her eyes for a long second before looking up again, looking straight at Taekwoon’s face and touching Hakyeon’s fingers to his proud, pronounced cheekbone. Hakyeon’s hand is also shaking now but Eunyoung holds it steady as she traces Taekwoon’s features, caresses his face with Hakyeon’s hand, barely feeling the burning of his skin against her own when her fingers accidentally touch Taekwoon.
Hakyeon still stares wide-eyed at Taekwoon, right into his eyes and Eunyoung knows they must be full of questions, but she also knows Taekwoon’s stoic eyes have answers for them all, answers only Hakyeon knows to read and she thinks she hears another crack opening on her heart.
‘Just fucking kiss him already!’ she murmurs, and Hakyeon’s whole body stiffens because she rarely ever swears, but she’s right behind him, pushing him forward and now Taekwoon also moves, placing a palm over Eunyoung’s and Hakyeon’s hands - and that’s it, that seems to be all it takes for Hakyeon to lean in, hesitantly and slowly but most of all, full of badly masked anticipation. His lips touch Taekwoon’s and they stay like that for a few more moments, still looking at each other before Hakyeon finally sighs and closes his eyes, kissing his friend.
Eunyoung wants to pull away - heck, she wants nothing more than to run away screaming, run till the edge of the world and maybe further, run and never look back, never to see this again, but Taekwoon is still holding onto her hand and she can’t tear her eyes away as their kiss deepens, Hakyeon tilting his head in such a submissive and open and carefree way Eunyoung feels herself blush. And Taekwoon - Taekwoon is caressing tiny, soft circles on her hand, almost reassuringly and when they finally break away for air, when Hakyeon’s chest is heaving and his eyes are foggy hazelnut, Taekwoon gently tugs her closer.
‘Is this okay’ he asks Hakyeon, except it doesn’t really sound like a question and Hakyeon just nods anyway, and Eunyoung thinks he would agree to anything in the whole world if Taekwoon asked him right now, he’d do anything for Taekwoon after this one kiss and she feels tears welling up in her eyes because this is just not fair, it was never supposed to be like this, there was never supposed to be a Taekwoon making her Hakyeon like this, making him weak and trembling, it was supposed to be her and only her and her till the end of their old and wrinkled days.
She’s not going to cry, she decides, she’s not going to give Taekwoon that, he might have all the power he wants over Hakyeon but not over her, she’s not going to fall for whatever wicked charm he has, she resolves, biting on her tongue so hard she draws blood, but then Taekwoon pulls her in some more and Hakyeon nods again and by the time she realizes what Taekwoon just asked permission for, he’s looking at her with those dark, dark and unreadable eyes and she suddenly looses all her willpower to push him away. She doesn’t want to push him away - he’s asking for her permission, not with words, but with his eyes and Eunyoung thinks that maybe, just maybe, it’s his eyes that are unrefusable. So she nods and part of her wants to scream at Hakyeon because apparently he has no issues about his girlfriend being kissed by his best friend, but another part of her just melts against Taekwoon’s gentle, soft lips.
He kisses nothing like Hakyeon - but then again, Taekwoon is nothing like Hakyeon in the first place. He’s stoic where Hakyeon is restless, stern where Hakyeon is warm and open, silent where Hakyeon is loud, monochrome where Hakyeon is all the shades of the rainbow. It’s not bad, Eunyoung realizes, he’s not bad, he’s just so, so different and unusual but he’s in this because of Hakyeon, just like her, they have him in common, the most important part of Eunyoung’s life and he must be really important for Taekwoon too, if he’s agreed to the whole thing. Not because she doesn’t think Hakyeon is the most desirable person in the world, but because she knows Taekwoon is not into him, not like this, he’s not into men and he’s seen him turn his head away when a few of their gay friends kissed to know that it’s really not his thing - it’s only for Hakyeon. Maybe, just maybe, she and Taekwoon have more in common than she thought, she thinks, as he parts her lips gently and releases her hand so that she can run it hesitantly into his hair.
Taekwoon kisses with such slow care Hakyeon would never even consider, his lips move solidly against hers and his tongue barely touches her lower lip for a second before he pulls away, chest rising and falling a little more quickly than before.
He stands then, without a word, and offers a hand to Hakyeon. He stands too, legs visibly trembling now, and after a second of hesitation, grabs Eunyoung’s fingers with his free hand.
She never planned to stay with them, but as they move towards the bedroom, Taekwoon leading them, strange as it sounds, she finds herself unable to pull away. Partly scared, partly shocked and as embarrassing as it sounds, partly curious too, she wonders if she really shouldn’t be leaving - though she knows that if she steps out of this apartment now, she might not be able to set foot in it again. But Hakyeon clings onto her for dear life and Taekwoon’s stare is pleading and she finds that she no longer wants to hurt Taekwoon, that she is unable to hate him, not after discovering how similar they are in some twisted, unimaginable way. Not after that kiss they shared.
She steps forward to open the door - it’s their bedroom, after all, and she’s still proud enough that she wants to be the one letting the stranger in. Only he’s not really a stranger, and she can’t think of him as one because Hakyeon’s eyes are so filled with affection that it seems even the thought of calling Taekwoon a stranger would hurt him.
Eunyoung could never hurt Hakyeon. She wants to, sometimes, especially because as much as he doesn’t do it on purpose either, he still hurts her, but she can’t - because in the end, Hakyeon’s fingers are still intertwined with hers. Because part of Hakyeon is still hers.
It’s dark inside, the early night’s dim, orange lights sneaking through the shutters but Eunyoung stops Taekwoon’s hand when he reaches for the light switch. She’s terribly embarrassed and puzzled as it is, and she fears she would give up if the harsh, artificial lights unfolded the events in their unforgiving reality. In the semi-darkness, she can pretend it’s all a dream, neither bad nor good but nevertheless terrifying, and most of all, not real. She would have to deal with the painful realizations later.
Hakyeon hugs her now, both arms coming up to embrace her thin waist, and this is good, this is comforting, this is usual, his long and steady arms around her, his round and cheerful eyes fixed on her face, his racing heartbeat against her chest, soft kisses peppered on her temple, the bridge of her nose, her closed eyelids, her cheeks and finally, finally her mouth that is hanging open, waiting for him already, and Eunyoung hates herself for this, for giving in this easily, for forgetting about any and every pain, tears and scars and fights and his fucking, fucking cheating heart - because this is his “I love you”-kiss. This is the kiss that promises Eunyoung he’ll always be there, that he’ll always care and he’ll never let go and he’ll battle the laws of the Universe, the pull of stars, the heat of the core of Earth and the cold of Nothingness for her and her only and she wants it to last forever, she wants to believe this kiss, she wants to believe it so badly she is ready to forgive and forget everything yet again.
But then Hakyeon pulls away, tugs at her hand and she stumbles to the bed, watching Taekwoon pulling his shirt over his head and her breath hitches because he’s nothing like Hakyeon, not all lanky and lean and thin and subtly strong, his muscles are toned and his arms are flexing when he extends them over his head and everything is muscles and tendons and veins and creamy-white skin and he’s beautiful, he’s perfect like he just stepped out of a magazine and she sees Hakyeon stare in awe as well. It must not have been the first time he’s seen Taekwoon undressed, she realizes, because she knows they’ve been working out together occasionally, but it might be the first time that he dares to really look, to stare at every patch of unmarred skin and she can’t miss the desire in his eyes now. It’s nothing like how he looks at her, it’s more… raw and pure and almost wild, like he just wants to jump right at him and devour him and part of Eunyoung understands, but part of her doesn’t because she’s never seen Hakyeon like this.
He rushes to Taekwoon and there is noting of the nervous perplexity in his moves now as he grabs the back of Taekwoon’s neck and kisses him again, open-mouthed and hungry and Eunyoung thinks she hears teeth knocking against each other.
Hakyeon fumbles with his own shirt so much Eunyoung almost stands to help him, but Taekwoon beats her to it, fingers steady as they pull the thin fabric over Hakyeon’s head, caressing his sides as they fall back to his waist. She notices the hesitation in his movements, notices how his touches linger here and there, longer than they should and it’s almost like he’s never done this before - he really hasn’t, she remembers, he has no idea how to touch Hakyeon, and as much as her boyfriend shivers at each fingertip pressing against his ribs through his skin, Taekwoon really is clueless. It’s up to Eunyoung again, she understands, and her legs barely support her weight as she stands, stepping behind Hakyeon and taking hold of Taekwoon’s hands.
She guides them all over Hakyeon’s body, pressing hard here and there, barely touching at other places - showing Taekwoon all she knows, all his weak points and special spots and Taekwoon’s hands follow her nervous fingers till Hakyeon is practically shaking at their feet, leaning into their every touch and this, this is the sickest thing ever because she can see how he years for more, he can’t get enough and it’s not her carefully manicured nails but Taekwoon’s blunt fingertips that leave soft yet unmistakable marks all over his caramel skin.
She knows where Hakyeon needs to be touched, she realizes somewhat late, she knows and Taekwoon doesn’t and in some grotesque way, it’s still Eunyoung touching Hakyeon, still her who makes him sigh breathlessly into Taekwoon’s mouth.
It’s entirely Hakyeon, however, who reaches to undo Taekwoon’s belt, pulling down his zipper and reaching into his pants with such eagerness like it’s the only thing that has ever been on his mind - it might have been, Eunyoung thinks - and suddenly, Taekwoon opens his eyes and he looks at her hesitantly, deep and dark and still rapidly darkening eyes asking yet again if it’s okay. Asking as if there is still any way to back out now, when all of them know that there isn’t. Not anymore. Not without breaking Hakyeon beyond repair.
Eunyoung stands helpless as Hakyeon drops on his knees, pulling Taekwoon’s pants with him, and the sight following makes her nauseous. It’s like those terrible accidents where everything is blood and gore and death, except now it’s all flesh and saliva and small, hungry moans but she can’t tear her eyes away, she can’t stop watching, she stands frozen as Hakyeon takes Taekwoon into his mouth and Taekwoon sighs breathlessly, one hand buried into Hakyeon’s hair - the other hand reaching out for Eunyoung.
It’s the most unexpected touch, it’s the last thing she was waiting for, that jolts her out of her stupor, Taekwoon leaning close and kissing her again, it’s so out of place and it just doesn’t make sense, it was supposed to be Hakyeon and Taekwoon and she was supposed to be looking away, forgetting about it all, but there she is, stuck in the middle with Hakyeon down on his knees like she never expected him to be and Taekwoon tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, drawing a thick line along her jaw and pulling her in for another kiss, slow and deep and new and meaningful and sweet, like he’s asking if she’s alright.
For the second time that night, it’s Taekwoon’s lips that stop her tears from falling, but under the surrender and hurt, under the sadness and disbelief, something stirs awake in Eunyoung, something that makes her bite on Taekwoon’s thick lip, something that makes him gasp for air and Haekyeon stop with the most obscene sound she’s ever heard.
He stands up between them, breaking their kiss away, turning to Eunyoung and his lips are swollen and bitten and red and smiling, of all things, as he strokes down her arm, stopping at the hem of her shirt and looking deep into her eyes.
Eunyoung wonders if he still sees Taekwoon - if he’s ever seen anyone but Taekwoon - when he asks wordlessly but she still answers by raising her arms, allowing him to take her shirt off.
They stumble onto the bed afterwards, and somewhere along the lines, Taekwoon looses his pants altogether, half-laying on the bed, their bed, her and Hakyeon’s shared bed naked, watching as Hakyeon licks up her neck slowly and hungrily and Eunyoung doubts she’s ever going to forget the weight of those eyes on her.
She claws at Hakyeon’s pants in a fit of anger and rage and they fall to the floor and then Taekwoon is pulling them both down and Hakyeon is kissing him again but somehow, Taekwoon is kissing her and her head is in a merciful fog of abandon and pleasure, hands are on her body, experienced hands of Hakyeon and careful but sure hands of Taekwoon, and she only regains her consciousness to a small moan of ‘Taekwoon, please’.
Their clothes are scattered on the floor now - she struggles to remember how her underwear disappeared, but regardless, it’s gone now and suddenly she feels self-conscious again because she’s never been naked in front of a guy that’s not Hakyeon before.
‘You are really beautiful’ Taekwoon whispers into her skin, but his hands are on Hakyeon’s tight, mapping and discovering and exploring on their own now.
He suddenly freezes, though, and the clueless stare is back and she swallows, hard - swallowing her pride and her shyness and her better judgment - and reaches for his hand once again. She presses her mouth against the back of Hakyeon’s neck, shutting her eyes tight, and she guides Taekwoon’s tender, unsure hand down and down and around Hakyeon. She hears him choke a sob into Taekwoon’s shoulder when they touch him - when he touches him, long fingers falling into their place quite quickly and Eunyoung wants to draw back, she can’t do this, she still can’t, but Taekwoon’s eyes bore through her naked skin and it’s for Hakyeon, all for Hakyeon, everything for Hakyeon, for you for youforyou she mouths into his skin as she moves her hand.
Hakyeon is panting now, panting and tossing himself and she can feel his body trembling under her lips, so she lets go of Taekwoon’s hand, stumbling on her knees to the small table beside the bed where her purse is, nervously rummaging through her things till she finds the small shopping bag and throwing the contents on the sheet, barely suppressing a sharp, angry laugh.
She half expected a couple weirs stares when she purchased the lube but she got none - bet she’d have gotten more if she told the cashier she was buying it for her boyfriend to be fucked by another guy.
The reality of what’s happening draws on her again and she slumps down on her heels, burying her face in her palms for a long second.
It’s Hakyeon this time, who coaxes her back, like a startled animal that constantly tries to run away but at the same time, has no idea where to run or hide, and she can taste Taekwoon on his tongue as he kisses her. It’s not an unpleasant taste, actually, but her stomach still turns upside down.
He lays down on his back, pulling her on top of him, never stopping with the teasing and softening and warm, open-mouthed kisses and for a moment, Eunyoung almost manages to forget about Taekwoon, until Hakyeon groans into her chest and oh, that, she definitely didn’t do that, she never did anything to make Hakyeon groan with such an intense mix of pain and pleasure and surprise. She doesn’t have to look up to know what’s happening, but she still does, she wants to see, she wants the image to haunt her and torture her because this is reality, this is her Hakyeon, biting into his own fist to hold back the noises and she grabs his hand and pulls it away from his mouth because she needs to hear, she needs to know, she needs to see it all, she has to see the helpless mess Taekwoon reduces Hakyeon with just one single finger.
It’s unsettling, at the very least, but also beautiful in the most twisted, most cruel way because soon Hakyeon shuts his eyes tight and gives up any resistance, gives in to pleasure and he’s gorgeous, gorgeous even like this, sprawled on the soft purple sheets, hands helplessly scratching for support, whole body shaking but not resisting, giving up and giving in and putting everything on display for Taekwoon. She watches Taekwoon’s bent form, the muscles carefully dancing under his skin, the slim hips and strong tights and lips pressed together, she watches everything Taekwoon is and she, of course, will never be, could possibly never be and she knows all too well that it’s not about the thin fingers inside Hakyeon, it’s everything else that comes with them. It becomes clear when Hakyeon opens his eyes and looks at Taekwoon, when their eyes meet and Hakyeon smiles, the curve of his trembling lips mirrored on Taekwoon’s own face - they are beautiful this way, alien and so far, far out of reach for Eunyoung. Beautiful and staggering and all of a sudden, she’s an outsider, an outcast onlooker, she is the audience of a movie whose characters have no idea they are being watched, and she feels no right to watch them, not like this, not in this moment of painful intimacy that she can’t even dream to understand.
It lasts shorter than she’d have expected, their moment, and soon she’s pulled back once again, pulled back by Taekwoon who reaches for her, silent plea in his eyes and she wants to slap him, wants to hit him so hard that his sharp cheekbones would hurt her palm because who is he to ask for even more, who is he to ask for help, to ask for anything when he has Hakyeon, literally at his feet, like no one else ever has and what else could a person possibly ask for if they have Hakyeon.
But Taekwoon’s eyes don’t ask for anything else than forgiveness and understanding, and Eunyoung knows that it was her who dragged him into this so she slides closer, letting Taekwoon run his warm fingers through her hair, down her neck and her breasts, and her breath comes out shaking and moist because she’s quite sure nobody has ever touched her before like Taekwoon does now. Not even Hakyeon.
She’s painfully aware of the louder and louder sounds of skin against skin, teeth gritted together and she’s not even trying to look into Hakyeon’s eyes any longer because they are helplessly tied to Taekwoon’s face, but she recognizes his touch and she learns Taekwoon’s touch soon enough, and she feels the first tear running down her face when she hears Hakyeon’s broken voice, saying “Taekwoon”. Burning lips are immediately there to kiss that stupid, stupid stupidstupid tear away, and it’s Hakyeon, she doesn’t have to look up to tell the difference. She’d recognize Hakyeon anywhere under any circumstances and it’s not because he’s whispering now, voice broken and breathless as he tries to stop her tears, Eunyoung, my Eunyoung my sweet Eunyoung don’t cry his lips taste salty but his legs are still firmly wrapped around Taekwoon’s waist, his calves pressed into the small of his back and the whole bed shakes with their moves - Eunyoung shakes with the suppressed crying and chokes on a sob, chokes on Hakyeon’s tongue when he suddenly groans and his body goes rigid. His eyes are wide open and he is staring at Taekwoon, oh of course, but he holds her close and she doesn’t push him away, she holds onto him with whitening fingers as they both touch her and soon, sooner than she could even realize, her entire being shakes through her orgasm as two pairs of lips and two sets of hands roam her body.
Taekwoon is silent as ever when he comes, Hakyeon’s hand on him and it’s only then that Hakyeon collapses next to Eunyoung.
Taekwoon remains, supporting himself with one arm, and his eyes are cast down and suddenly Eunyoung feels like the most terrible person ever so she reaches up and tugs him gently on the bed, kissing him in the softest and most uncertain way.
‘Can we just sleep like this… for now…’ she hears Hakyeon’s hoarse question, and Eunyoung doesn’t answer, just pulls the covers over them and curls into herself, the small waves of post-coital pleasure still running through her weak limbs.
She’s already half asleep when an arm extends to pull her close, into a warm and secure embrace and she sleeps to the soft sounds of two sets of breaths that night.
*~*
‘Do you hate me?’ Taekwoon asks next morning, when Eunyoung stumbles out into the kitchen to find the boy at the coffee machine, the strong and aromatic smell of coffee filling her still sleep-muted senses.
‘Yes, I do’ she answers in a low but steady voice as she looks directly into his eyes and they both know it’s not true.
*~*
‘He loves you, you know’ she says when the door slams shut behind Taekwoon, Hakyeon and her both standing in the hallway, staring at the simple white board of wood with a sense of dark realization drawing on both of them.
‘He does… but not like you’ Hakyeon answers, so quiet she can barely hear his voice and she notices the small limp in his step as he turns towards her.
‘Nobody loves you like I do, Cha Hakyeon’ she simply answers, because that is the truth, but she doesn’t have the strength to look up into his face to see if he really understands.
*~*
When Hakyeon descends on his knees two weeks later and pulls out the small, velvet box, Eunyoung knows her answer to his question before he even gets to ask it.
*~*
‘I’m going to marry her.’
‘That might be the cleverest thing that you’ve ever thought of, Hakyeon-ah.’
‘No, I’m serious. I… I love her, I really do, I just…’
‘She is the best thing that has ever happened to you since I’ve known you.’
Silence and the quiet sound of teeth clashing against a beer can.
‘She’d do anything you asked her… She’d jump off a fucking cliff for you, man.’
‘And would you?’
‘No, you idiot.’
More silence.
‘We’d be jumping together, I guess. But I’d hold your stupid hand through it.’
‘Will you be my best man, Jung Taekwoon?’
‘Like I have a choice…’
Short laughter.
‘Just… don’t touch her again, because I might break your fingers.’
‘I won’t. She wouldn’t want me to. She’s only ever wanted you.’
The click of a lighter.
‘But have you… have you ever considered that she might say no?’
‘I am the most terrible person in the whole world, right?’
‘Yeah, man. Yeah you are.’
‘Cheers!’
‘Cheers…’
A/N2: /rolls around in utter pain and disbelief IDK i tried?!?!?! Thank you for reading, anyways! Also I have a lot of thoughts and feelz about this fic so if anyone feels like talking about any aspect of it comments are open and everything <3
Author: theirblinggirl
Rating: R
Pairing: Eunyoung/N(/Leo) (otl fuck)
Word count: 5100~
Summary: People indeed do crazy things in the name of love.
A/N: woah wow it's VIXX! yes I am sorry this was supposed to be an attempt at NC-17 and it failed because I got emitonally carried away? This might also probably the result of my original OTP and The Fandom OTP crashing in my head and just idk. (also if you haven't seen Hakyeon and Eunyoung on Romantic&Idol and All The Kpop you probably should because then this OTP will make much more sense and also because FEELZ and because it's been quite a long time since I wished a ship to be an actual real thing this hard)
The first time she notices it, Eunyoung tries her best to ignore the sudden, albeit not quite as shocking as it should be-discovery. It’s not half as hard as it could be, because they are at a party, and the loud music, the dim lights and the fruity smell of something alcoholic in her hand are doing a fairly good job at fading the borders of reality and imagination. But it’s there regardless, they are there, Hakyeon just a few steps away and it’s always been impossible for her to ignore his presence, not when all of her senses are taut towards him, his vibrant, lean form that lights up whichever room he walks into.
So she sees, bright as daylight, where Hakyeon stands, one arm lightly thrown around Jung Taekwoon’s shoulder, and he laughs at his best friend and Taekwoon also cracks a smile, not half as shining as Hakyeon’s but charming nonetheless.
The realization hits in stronger than Eunyoung would’ve expected and she feels a pang of jealousy turning the artificially sweet taste in her mouth bitter.
Hakyeon has never smiled at her in such an open and easy and enthusiastic way, not in the two years they’ve been dating, not even once. But Taekwoon’s been there before her, he’s been there since high school and Eunyoung only met Hakyeon when she started college. He’s already been the best friend when the girlfriend appeared and Eunyoung remembers feeling quite lucky about Taekwoon, actually, because he was always nice to her, didn’t try to convince Hakyeon into stupid stuff and spending more time away from her, actually tried and succeeded in talking sense into him whenever Eunyoung failed. He wasn’t one of those annoying guys coming with a boyfriend her own friends often complained about, and Eunyoung learned over the months that Hakyeon and Taekwoon shared a friendship stronger than most people she knew. Except now that she looks at them - now that she sees the way Hakyeon’s tipsy eyes trace along the lines of Taekwoon’s unique, sharp features, she understands that maybe for him, it’s more than any friendship should be.
It hurts, hurts like seven hells because suddenly Eunyoung realizes that everything their relationship lacks, everything she’s tried so hard to sweep under the rag and ignore and prayed to dissolve over time, everything she’s always felt Hakyeon missing from her is standing right beside him. And what hurts maybe even more is that Taekwoon doesn’t seem to realize at all.
Eunyoung turns away and starts looking for a friend - she spots Surin soon enough and she has no idea what to do anymore but right now, right now she can’t bear to watch Hakyeon any longer so she practically runs up to her friend, a wide and stiff smile plastered across her face, and asks her if she can sleep over tonight. One thing she knows for sure is that she can’t go back to their tiny, shared apartment where everything reminds her of Hakyeon and Hakyeon’s face suddenly can’t come separated from Taekwoon’s.
It takes quite some time for her to build up the courage to call Taekwoon, to ask him to meet and talk. ‘Is this about Hakyeon?’ he asks, voice soft and steady over the line, and Eunyoung has so suppress a bitter laugh because what hasn’t been about Hakyeon ever since the first day they met?
She expects Taekwoon to immediately say no, to call her crazy or even to laugh at her or freak out. None of that happens. He falls silent instead, which is nothing out of the ordinary since he’s always been silent, and he just stares at her for a long, long time, so long that Eunyoung actually starts to feel self-conscious - not like mustering up all her courage and willpower to even ask Taekwoon in the first place hasn’t already made her anxious enough. She’s never been that kind of girl, after all. Easy-going and friendly, yes, but not that open-minded or curious. And she’s never been with anyone but Hakyeon - never even wanted to be with anyone else than him.
After what it feels like a small eternity, Taekwoon lowers his head and says yes and Eunyoung doesn’t dare asking questions.
When Hakyeon comes home two days later, he finds Eunyoung and Taekwoon sitting on the couch in awkward silence. They’ve talked - Taekwoon insisted on talking, asking her over and over if she was sure, if this was really what she wanted till Eunyoung felt like screaming at him because no, no, no, never, she never wanted this, she never wanted sitting on a couch with the man her boyfriend had feelings for, she would have rather died than to share Hakyeon with anybody, but this is what he wants, has been wanting for God knows how long and Eunyoung is going to give it to him, there is nothing in this world she wouldn’t give Hakyeon as long as she had the powers to do so.
‘What is going on?’ Hakyeon asks, kicking his shoes off and stepping into the living room and suddenly Eunyoung panics because maybe she really hasn’t thought this through, she doesn’t know how to answer, she has no idea what is really going on.
‘Eunyoung-sshi asked me to come’ Taekwoon answers, and she wants to laugh because yes, that is exactly the truth, that is what happened but at the same time that doesn’t matter at all and also, he’s calling her “sshi” in a situation like this… She somehow collects herself enough to beckon Hakyeon over, gently pulls him down on the couch between the two of them. He holds her hand and Eunyoung has half the heart to pull away immediately, but she doesn’t because Hakyeon looks clueless and worried and she started this so she has to see it through.
‘It’s just what you… what you wanted, isn’t it? And don’t dare lying to me, Cha Hakyeon… Not anymore’ she whispers, voice cracking, and strangely enough, she finds strength in Taekwoon’s eyes to continue. Hakyeon, the always blabbering, always witty Hakyeon remains silent, looking from Taekwoon to Eunyoung and back and she almost snaps because this, this tension, this hesitation is maddening.
Instead she takes his hand with trembling fingers and lifts it slowly towards Taekwoon’s face. Hakyeon looks bewildered but he doesn’t protest, doesn’t say a word, just stares at his own hand, nearing his friend’s face and Eunyoung closes her eyes for a long second before looking up again, looking straight at Taekwoon’s face and touching Hakyeon’s fingers to his proud, pronounced cheekbone. Hakyeon’s hand is also shaking now but Eunyoung holds it steady as she traces Taekwoon’s features, caresses his face with Hakyeon’s hand, barely feeling the burning of his skin against her own when her fingers accidentally touch Taekwoon.
Hakyeon still stares wide-eyed at Taekwoon, right into his eyes and Eunyoung knows they must be full of questions, but she also knows Taekwoon’s stoic eyes have answers for them all, answers only Hakyeon knows to read and she thinks she hears another crack opening on her heart.
‘Just fucking kiss him already!’ she murmurs, and Hakyeon’s whole body stiffens because she rarely ever swears, but she’s right behind him, pushing him forward and now Taekwoon also moves, placing a palm over Eunyoung’s and Hakyeon’s hands - and that’s it, that seems to be all it takes for Hakyeon to lean in, hesitantly and slowly but most of all, full of badly masked anticipation. His lips touch Taekwoon’s and they stay like that for a few more moments, still looking at each other before Hakyeon finally sighs and closes his eyes, kissing his friend.
Eunyoung wants to pull away - heck, she wants nothing more than to run away screaming, run till the edge of the world and maybe further, run and never look back, never to see this again, but Taekwoon is still holding onto her hand and she can’t tear her eyes away as their kiss deepens, Hakyeon tilting his head in such a submissive and open and carefree way Eunyoung feels herself blush. And Taekwoon - Taekwoon is caressing tiny, soft circles on her hand, almost reassuringly and when they finally break away for air, when Hakyeon’s chest is heaving and his eyes are foggy hazelnut, Taekwoon gently tugs her closer.
‘Is this okay’ he asks Hakyeon, except it doesn’t really sound like a question and Hakyeon just nods anyway, and Eunyoung thinks he would agree to anything in the whole world if Taekwoon asked him right now, he’d do anything for Taekwoon after this one kiss and she feels tears welling up in her eyes because this is just not fair, it was never supposed to be like this, there was never supposed to be a Taekwoon making her Hakyeon like this, making him weak and trembling, it was supposed to be her and only her and her till the end of their old and wrinkled days.
She’s not going to cry, she decides, she’s not going to give Taekwoon that, he might have all the power he wants over Hakyeon but not over her, she’s not going to fall for whatever wicked charm he has, she resolves, biting on her tongue so hard she draws blood, but then Taekwoon pulls her in some more and Hakyeon nods again and by the time she realizes what Taekwoon just asked permission for, he’s looking at her with those dark, dark and unreadable eyes and she suddenly looses all her willpower to push him away. She doesn’t want to push him away - he’s asking for her permission, not with words, but with his eyes and Eunyoung thinks that maybe, just maybe, it’s his eyes that are unrefusable. So she nods and part of her wants to scream at Hakyeon because apparently he has no issues about his girlfriend being kissed by his best friend, but another part of her just melts against Taekwoon’s gentle, soft lips.
He kisses nothing like Hakyeon - but then again, Taekwoon is nothing like Hakyeon in the first place. He’s stoic where Hakyeon is restless, stern where Hakyeon is warm and open, silent where Hakyeon is loud, monochrome where Hakyeon is all the shades of the rainbow. It’s not bad, Eunyoung realizes, he’s not bad, he’s just so, so different and unusual but he’s in this because of Hakyeon, just like her, they have him in common, the most important part of Eunyoung’s life and he must be really important for Taekwoon too, if he’s agreed to the whole thing. Not because she doesn’t think Hakyeon is the most desirable person in the world, but because she knows Taekwoon is not into him, not like this, he’s not into men and he’s seen him turn his head away when a few of their gay friends kissed to know that it’s really not his thing - it’s only for Hakyeon. Maybe, just maybe, she and Taekwoon have more in common than she thought, she thinks, as he parts her lips gently and releases her hand so that she can run it hesitantly into his hair.
Taekwoon kisses with such slow care Hakyeon would never even consider, his lips move solidly against hers and his tongue barely touches her lower lip for a second before he pulls away, chest rising and falling a little more quickly than before.
He stands then, without a word, and offers a hand to Hakyeon. He stands too, legs visibly trembling now, and after a second of hesitation, grabs Eunyoung’s fingers with his free hand.
She never planned to stay with them, but as they move towards the bedroom, Taekwoon leading them, strange as it sounds, she finds herself unable to pull away. Partly scared, partly shocked and as embarrassing as it sounds, partly curious too, she wonders if she really shouldn’t be leaving - though she knows that if she steps out of this apartment now, she might not be able to set foot in it again. But Hakyeon clings onto her for dear life and Taekwoon’s stare is pleading and she finds that she no longer wants to hurt Taekwoon, that she is unable to hate him, not after discovering how similar they are in some twisted, unimaginable way. Not after that kiss they shared.
She steps forward to open the door - it’s their bedroom, after all, and she’s still proud enough that she wants to be the one letting the stranger in. Only he’s not really a stranger, and she can’t think of him as one because Hakyeon’s eyes are so filled with affection that it seems even the thought of calling Taekwoon a stranger would hurt him.
Eunyoung could never hurt Hakyeon. She wants to, sometimes, especially because as much as he doesn’t do it on purpose either, he still hurts her, but she can’t - because in the end, Hakyeon’s fingers are still intertwined with hers. Because part of Hakyeon is still hers.
It’s dark inside, the early night’s dim, orange lights sneaking through the shutters but Eunyoung stops Taekwoon’s hand when he reaches for the light switch. She’s terribly embarrassed and puzzled as it is, and she fears she would give up if the harsh, artificial lights unfolded the events in their unforgiving reality. In the semi-darkness, she can pretend it’s all a dream, neither bad nor good but nevertheless terrifying, and most of all, not real. She would have to deal with the painful realizations later.
Hakyeon hugs her now, both arms coming up to embrace her thin waist, and this is good, this is comforting, this is usual, his long and steady arms around her, his round and cheerful eyes fixed on her face, his racing heartbeat against her chest, soft kisses peppered on her temple, the bridge of her nose, her closed eyelids, her cheeks and finally, finally her mouth that is hanging open, waiting for him already, and Eunyoung hates herself for this, for giving in this easily, for forgetting about any and every pain, tears and scars and fights and his fucking, fucking cheating heart - because this is his “I love you”-kiss. This is the kiss that promises Eunyoung he’ll always be there, that he’ll always care and he’ll never let go and he’ll battle the laws of the Universe, the pull of stars, the heat of the core of Earth and the cold of Nothingness for her and her only and she wants it to last forever, she wants to believe this kiss, she wants to believe it so badly she is ready to forgive and forget everything yet again.
But then Hakyeon pulls away, tugs at her hand and she stumbles to the bed, watching Taekwoon pulling his shirt over his head and her breath hitches because he’s nothing like Hakyeon, not all lanky and lean and thin and subtly strong, his muscles are toned and his arms are flexing when he extends them over his head and everything is muscles and tendons and veins and creamy-white skin and he’s beautiful, he’s perfect like he just stepped out of a magazine and she sees Hakyeon stare in awe as well. It must not have been the first time he’s seen Taekwoon undressed, she realizes, because she knows they’ve been working out together occasionally, but it might be the first time that he dares to really look, to stare at every patch of unmarred skin and she can’t miss the desire in his eyes now. It’s nothing like how he looks at her, it’s more… raw and pure and almost wild, like he just wants to jump right at him and devour him and part of Eunyoung understands, but part of her doesn’t because she’s never seen Hakyeon like this.
He rushes to Taekwoon and there is noting of the nervous perplexity in his moves now as he grabs the back of Taekwoon’s neck and kisses him again, open-mouthed and hungry and Eunyoung thinks she hears teeth knocking against each other.
Hakyeon fumbles with his own shirt so much Eunyoung almost stands to help him, but Taekwoon beats her to it, fingers steady as they pull the thin fabric over Hakyeon’s head, caressing his sides as they fall back to his waist. She notices the hesitation in his movements, notices how his touches linger here and there, longer than they should and it’s almost like he’s never done this before - he really hasn’t, she remembers, he has no idea how to touch Hakyeon, and as much as her boyfriend shivers at each fingertip pressing against his ribs through his skin, Taekwoon really is clueless. It’s up to Eunyoung again, she understands, and her legs barely support her weight as she stands, stepping behind Hakyeon and taking hold of Taekwoon’s hands.
She guides them all over Hakyeon’s body, pressing hard here and there, barely touching at other places - showing Taekwoon all she knows, all his weak points and special spots and Taekwoon’s hands follow her nervous fingers till Hakyeon is practically shaking at their feet, leaning into their every touch and this, this is the sickest thing ever because she can see how he years for more, he can’t get enough and it’s not her carefully manicured nails but Taekwoon’s blunt fingertips that leave soft yet unmistakable marks all over his caramel skin.
She knows where Hakyeon needs to be touched, she realizes somewhat late, she knows and Taekwoon doesn’t and in some grotesque way, it’s still Eunyoung touching Hakyeon, still her who makes him sigh breathlessly into Taekwoon’s mouth.
It’s entirely Hakyeon, however, who reaches to undo Taekwoon’s belt, pulling down his zipper and reaching into his pants with such eagerness like it’s the only thing that has ever been on his mind - it might have been, Eunyoung thinks - and suddenly, Taekwoon opens his eyes and he looks at her hesitantly, deep and dark and still rapidly darkening eyes asking yet again if it’s okay. Asking as if there is still any way to back out now, when all of them know that there isn’t. Not anymore. Not without breaking Hakyeon beyond repair.
Eunyoung stands helpless as Hakyeon drops on his knees, pulling Taekwoon’s pants with him, and the sight following makes her nauseous. It’s like those terrible accidents where everything is blood and gore and death, except now it’s all flesh and saliva and small, hungry moans but she can’t tear her eyes away, she can’t stop watching, she stands frozen as Hakyeon takes Taekwoon into his mouth and Taekwoon sighs breathlessly, one hand buried into Hakyeon’s hair - the other hand reaching out for Eunyoung.
It’s the most unexpected touch, it’s the last thing she was waiting for, that jolts her out of her stupor, Taekwoon leaning close and kissing her again, it’s so out of place and it just doesn’t make sense, it was supposed to be Hakyeon and Taekwoon and she was supposed to be looking away, forgetting about it all, but there she is, stuck in the middle with Hakyeon down on his knees like she never expected him to be and Taekwoon tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, drawing a thick line along her jaw and pulling her in for another kiss, slow and deep and new and meaningful and sweet, like he’s asking if she’s alright.
For the second time that night, it’s Taekwoon’s lips that stop her tears from falling, but under the surrender and hurt, under the sadness and disbelief, something stirs awake in Eunyoung, something that makes her bite on Taekwoon’s thick lip, something that makes him gasp for air and Haekyeon stop with the most obscene sound she’s ever heard.
He stands up between them, breaking their kiss away, turning to Eunyoung and his lips are swollen and bitten and red and smiling, of all things, as he strokes down her arm, stopping at the hem of her shirt and looking deep into her eyes.
Eunyoung wonders if he still sees Taekwoon - if he’s ever seen anyone but Taekwoon - when he asks wordlessly but she still answers by raising her arms, allowing him to take her shirt off.
They stumble onto the bed afterwards, and somewhere along the lines, Taekwoon looses his pants altogether, half-laying on the bed, their bed, her and Hakyeon’s shared bed naked, watching as Hakyeon licks up her neck slowly and hungrily and Eunyoung doubts she’s ever going to forget the weight of those eyes on her.
She claws at Hakyeon’s pants in a fit of anger and rage and they fall to the floor and then Taekwoon is pulling them both down and Hakyeon is kissing him again but somehow, Taekwoon is kissing her and her head is in a merciful fog of abandon and pleasure, hands are on her body, experienced hands of Hakyeon and careful but sure hands of Taekwoon, and she only regains her consciousness to a small moan of ‘Taekwoon, please’.
Their clothes are scattered on the floor now - she struggles to remember how her underwear disappeared, but regardless, it’s gone now and suddenly she feels self-conscious again because she’s never been naked in front of a guy that’s not Hakyeon before.
‘You are really beautiful’ Taekwoon whispers into her skin, but his hands are on Hakyeon’s tight, mapping and discovering and exploring on their own now.
He suddenly freezes, though, and the clueless stare is back and she swallows, hard - swallowing her pride and her shyness and her better judgment - and reaches for his hand once again. She presses her mouth against the back of Hakyeon’s neck, shutting her eyes tight, and she guides Taekwoon’s tender, unsure hand down and down and around Hakyeon. She hears him choke a sob into Taekwoon’s shoulder when they touch him - when he touches him, long fingers falling into their place quite quickly and Eunyoung wants to draw back, she can’t do this, she still can’t, but Taekwoon’s eyes bore through her naked skin and it’s for Hakyeon, all for Hakyeon, everything for Hakyeon, for you for youforyou she mouths into his skin as she moves her hand.
Hakyeon is panting now, panting and tossing himself and she can feel his body trembling under her lips, so she lets go of Taekwoon’s hand, stumbling on her knees to the small table beside the bed where her purse is, nervously rummaging through her things till she finds the small shopping bag and throwing the contents on the sheet, barely suppressing a sharp, angry laugh.
She half expected a couple weirs stares when she purchased the lube but she got none - bet she’d have gotten more if she told the cashier she was buying it for her boyfriend to be fucked by another guy.
The reality of what’s happening draws on her again and she slumps down on her heels, burying her face in her palms for a long second.
It’s Hakyeon this time, who coaxes her back, like a startled animal that constantly tries to run away but at the same time, has no idea where to run or hide, and she can taste Taekwoon on his tongue as he kisses her. It’s not an unpleasant taste, actually, but her stomach still turns upside down.
He lays down on his back, pulling her on top of him, never stopping with the teasing and softening and warm, open-mouthed kisses and for a moment, Eunyoung almost manages to forget about Taekwoon, until Hakyeon groans into her chest and oh, that, she definitely didn’t do that, she never did anything to make Hakyeon groan with such an intense mix of pain and pleasure and surprise. She doesn’t have to look up to know what’s happening, but she still does, she wants to see, she wants the image to haunt her and torture her because this is reality, this is her Hakyeon, biting into his own fist to hold back the noises and she grabs his hand and pulls it away from his mouth because she needs to hear, she needs to know, she needs to see it all, she has to see the helpless mess Taekwoon reduces Hakyeon with just one single finger.
It’s unsettling, at the very least, but also beautiful in the most twisted, most cruel way because soon Hakyeon shuts his eyes tight and gives up any resistance, gives in to pleasure and he’s gorgeous, gorgeous even like this, sprawled on the soft purple sheets, hands helplessly scratching for support, whole body shaking but not resisting, giving up and giving in and putting everything on display for Taekwoon. She watches Taekwoon’s bent form, the muscles carefully dancing under his skin, the slim hips and strong tights and lips pressed together, she watches everything Taekwoon is and she, of course, will never be, could possibly never be and she knows all too well that it’s not about the thin fingers inside Hakyeon, it’s everything else that comes with them. It becomes clear when Hakyeon opens his eyes and looks at Taekwoon, when their eyes meet and Hakyeon smiles, the curve of his trembling lips mirrored on Taekwoon’s own face - they are beautiful this way, alien and so far, far out of reach for Eunyoung. Beautiful and staggering and all of a sudden, she’s an outsider, an outcast onlooker, she is the audience of a movie whose characters have no idea they are being watched, and she feels no right to watch them, not like this, not in this moment of painful intimacy that she can’t even dream to understand.
It lasts shorter than she’d have expected, their moment, and soon she’s pulled back once again, pulled back by Taekwoon who reaches for her, silent plea in his eyes and she wants to slap him, wants to hit him so hard that his sharp cheekbones would hurt her palm because who is he to ask for even more, who is he to ask for help, to ask for anything when he has Hakyeon, literally at his feet, like no one else ever has and what else could a person possibly ask for if they have Hakyeon.
But Taekwoon’s eyes don’t ask for anything else than forgiveness and understanding, and Eunyoung knows that it was her who dragged him into this so she slides closer, letting Taekwoon run his warm fingers through her hair, down her neck and her breasts, and her breath comes out shaking and moist because she’s quite sure nobody has ever touched her before like Taekwoon does now. Not even Hakyeon.
She’s painfully aware of the louder and louder sounds of skin against skin, teeth gritted together and she’s not even trying to look into Hakyeon’s eyes any longer because they are helplessly tied to Taekwoon’s face, but she recognizes his touch and she learns Taekwoon’s touch soon enough, and she feels the first tear running down her face when she hears Hakyeon’s broken voice, saying “Taekwoon”. Burning lips are immediately there to kiss that stupid, stupid stupidstupid tear away, and it’s Hakyeon, she doesn’t have to look up to tell the difference. She’d recognize Hakyeon anywhere under any circumstances and it’s not because he’s whispering now, voice broken and breathless as he tries to stop her tears, Eunyoung, my Eunyoung my sweet Eunyoung don’t cry his lips taste salty but his legs are still firmly wrapped around Taekwoon’s waist, his calves pressed into the small of his back and the whole bed shakes with their moves - Eunyoung shakes with the suppressed crying and chokes on a sob, chokes on Hakyeon’s tongue when he suddenly groans and his body goes rigid. His eyes are wide open and he is staring at Taekwoon, oh of course, but he holds her close and she doesn’t push him away, she holds onto him with whitening fingers as they both touch her and soon, sooner than she could even realize, her entire being shakes through her orgasm as two pairs of lips and two sets of hands roam her body.
Taekwoon is silent as ever when he comes, Hakyeon’s hand on him and it’s only then that Hakyeon collapses next to Eunyoung.
Taekwoon remains, supporting himself with one arm, and his eyes are cast down and suddenly Eunyoung feels like the most terrible person ever so she reaches up and tugs him gently on the bed, kissing him in the softest and most uncertain way.
‘Can we just sleep like this… for now…’ she hears Hakyeon’s hoarse question, and Eunyoung doesn’t answer, just pulls the covers over them and curls into herself, the small waves of post-coital pleasure still running through her weak limbs.
She’s already half asleep when an arm extends to pull her close, into a warm and secure embrace and she sleeps to the soft sounds of two sets of breaths that night.
*~*
‘Do you hate me?’ Taekwoon asks next morning, when Eunyoung stumbles out into the kitchen to find the boy at the coffee machine, the strong and aromatic smell of coffee filling her still sleep-muted senses.
‘Yes, I do’ she answers in a low but steady voice as she looks directly into his eyes and they both know it’s not true.
*~*
‘He loves you, you know’ she says when the door slams shut behind Taekwoon, Hakyeon and her both standing in the hallway, staring at the simple white board of wood with a sense of dark realization drawing on both of them.
‘He does… but not like you’ Hakyeon answers, so quiet she can barely hear his voice and she notices the small limp in his step as he turns towards her.
‘Nobody loves you like I do, Cha Hakyeon’ she simply answers, because that is the truth, but she doesn’t have the strength to look up into his face to see if he really understands.
*~*
When Hakyeon descends on his knees two weeks later and pulls out the small, velvet box, Eunyoung knows her answer to his question before he even gets to ask it.
*~*
‘I’m going to marry her.’
‘That might be the cleverest thing that you’ve ever thought of, Hakyeon-ah.’
‘No, I’m serious. I… I love her, I really do, I just…’
‘She is the best thing that has ever happened to you since I’ve known you.’
Silence and the quiet sound of teeth clashing against a beer can.
‘She’d do anything you asked her… She’d jump off a fucking cliff for you, man.’
‘And would you?’
‘No, you idiot.’
More silence.
‘We’d be jumping together, I guess. But I’d hold your stupid hand through it.’
‘Will you be my best man, Jung Taekwoon?’
‘Like I have a choice…’
Short laughter.
‘Just… don’t touch her again, because I might break your fingers.’
‘I won’t. She wouldn’t want me to. She’s only ever wanted you.’
The click of a lighter.
‘But have you… have you ever considered that she might say no?’
‘I am the most terrible person in the whole world, right?’
‘Yeah, man. Yeah you are.’
‘Cheers!’
‘Cheers…’
A/N2: /rolls around in utter pain and disbelief IDK i tried?!?!?! Thank you for reading, anyways! Also I have a lot of thoughts and feelz about this fic so if anyone feels like talking about any aspect of it comments are open and everything <3