The Basic Principles
There is more to life than to watch other people live it.
There is nothing so precipitous as fate. The things that you pass by have a way of making their way back to you when there is something to be said or told. Fate is not a given but an opportunity to make a choice…to learn if you will listen. To listen if you can hear what the universe will tell you. Fate could say the rights things will happen in the right order...but it is you who determine when these things will be…and more often than not you find that it is in that time you needed to learn something more than in any moment past or to come. So therein lies the circle…fate determined by our free will…offered to us by fate. I felt this again tonight watching the movie Hitch. It’s a fairly innocuous romantic comedy like many of it’s ilk but not without a great deal of charm much of it owing to Will Smith. Certainly funny with a lot of heart and wit about it but it’s not just the movie that struck me so much as my choice to watch it now. It’s a movie I planned to but never got around to seeing at the cinema, forgot about come rental time and was reminded of last year when Nikki mentioned how she watched it in her trailer between takes. Most times seeing it in tv listings I kept thinking I must watch that but I never did til now…unplanned….just flicking through channels as it was beginning. By the end I felt I was meant to watch it now because of what it said to me…and I wondered how Nikki felt in those days back in Toronto watching the same moments and what they might have said to her.
So how does it happen, great love? Nobody knows... but what I can tell you is that it happens in the blink of an eye. One moment you're enjoying your life, and the next you're wondering how you ever lived without them.
We can’t place the moment only the time when something more than ordinary seemed to begin. All we know is that we were caught by a friendship, one begun before we ever saw them together and one that has not faded but seemingly grown stronger with time. So much before our eyes…and more still beyond them. We have no definitive only that which we have observed...a something…evolving…becoming...being, with time.
One dance, one look, one kiss, that's all we get…just... one shot, to make the difference between happily ever after, and oh he's just some guy I went to some thing with once.
Who knows what lies beneath those moments. Promotion or devotion? Neither title can deny that it lies beyond the usual to go there...to be there...to stay there. From the first until the last only the blind in soul could fail to see that when the cameras stopped rolling..something else began.
Lean in, place your hand on the small of her back, say it in her ear like a secret. But watch your hand placement, too high says, 'I just wanna be friends,' too low says, 'I just wanna grab some ass.
If ever a picture were worth a thousand words. Accident or design? Some would say that even accidents are all part of a greater design….a pattern designed to let us see the bigger picture in front of us. The pattern emerged just as they did, through time and country, through looks and words. Just friends? Just a movie? Could one really say they were ever just anything?
Like I always tell my clients - begin each day as if it were on purpose.
There are many ways to promote a movie…but just one way to make a true friend. Saying it doesn’t make it true...continuing to be it does. Long beyond the time when there is anything left to sell…all you can show is the truth of yourself.
Relationships are for people who are waiting for something better to come along.
In one way you can be given to silence…in another you can say a great deal. Maybe there’s a truth that can’t be spoken…or maybe you just like crazy t-shirts ;)
I'm a guy. Since when do we get anything right the first time?
Yeah..I hear ya.
Spoken like a true cynic.
I'm not a cynic, I'm a realist!
Or a realist masquerading as a cynic who is secretly an optimist.
Who are we to say what is? But who is anyone to say what isn’t? There has been a great deal said, on many levels about the depth of friendship and relationships but even the most hardened cynic would be hard pressed to say that what we see now, more than a year after the fact is purely business. Even for something to end that way..it had to begin as something else. For every relationship involved. If there is purpose for one there is none for the other. One falsehood would be to the detriment of another truth so you apply logic and you find love.
So, you kinda like me, huh?
No. I love you.
What is there to be said in the face of words given so freely and what is there to gain in the saying? Nothing..nothing but the truth of a feeling. To speak for gain would bring more risk than good so why do it unless it’s your truth? If he is given to silence she is given to singing from the rooftops. There are those that would accuse her of using him. I wonder then what they can find to say when he himself calls her one of his best friends. They have nothing to gain with a charade...so we can believe that they honestly became best friends.
You know what it's like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong man. But, at the same time hoping that she still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you.
Whether reversing the sentiments or applying them…we must believe that you choose the life you live…that they are happy to live the life they’re living…if not live the life they chose. If all that can be said is a that there was the love of a friend made and lasted...a friendship kept…then it’s not all…it’s everything there is.
You know, honestly, I never knew I could feel like this. You know? I swear I'm, I'm going out of my mind. It's like I want to throw myself off of every building in New York., I see a cab and I just wanna dive in front of it because then I'll stop thinking about her.
Look, you will. Just give it time.
That's just it. I don't want to. I mean, I've waited my whole life to feel this miserable. I mean, and if this is the only way I can stay connected with her, then... well, this is who I have to be.
It’s clear there are and have been some dark times for them both. And they’re not over. Clearer still is how they have helped each other through these times. Both past and present. Here we are more than a year from when they first caught our notice..and they continue to captivate..because they continue to be. She speaks of him still as the signature presence in her life…and so they still are in ours. They’ve taken a chance and confounded convention. One that tries to say it couldn’t happen in reality. But it did..they met..and still..they are. They are telling us themselves that they are there for each other. And who knows perhaps one day they will try defying gravity ;)
Because that's what people do. They leap, and hope to God they can fly, because otherwise you just drop like a rock, wondering the whole way down, why in the *hell* did I jump? But here I am…falling, and the only one that makes me feel like I can fly... is you.
You know I always believed they could fly. Fly if they could learn from each other and here I see it, still with every day that passes. Yes there is more to life than to watch other people live it…there is what you take from what you see and how you apply it to yourself and to your own life. Their words, then and now banish the absence of hope and let us live within it. I chose love and I choose life and I thank them for showing me it...in all it’s shapes and forms. As for the rest..well…
60% of all human communication is nonverbal, body language; 30% is your tone, so that means 90% of what you're saying ain't coming out of your mouth.
Draw your own conclusions ;)
****Quote in italics from Hitch (2005).