Fic: Reason for the Season (1/1)
TITLE: Reason for the Season
AUTHOR: theJadeSabre923
RATING: PG-13
WARNINGS: um talks of sex
SPOILERS: Through all aired episode
LENGTH: 620 words
SUMMARY: Drabble-y. Kurt and Blaine discuss the true meaning of Valentine's Day. As inspired by Bill Maher's sketch last Friday night.
A/N: So this was written pretty quickly since I wanted to get it up before Heart aired and completely blew the possibility of this out of the water. Do what you will with it. Also, the clip from Real Time can be viewed here.
“I hate Valentine's Day.”
Blaine sat up a little, shooting a look at his boyfriend. The two of them were currently curled up under a shared throw watching the latest episode of Project Runway All-Stars on Blaine's couch. His eye surgery had been successful and both of them were counting down the days until he could return to school.
“Blaine,” said Kurt, noting the look on his face. “Why are you so shocked? I thought we covered this last year.”
“Yeah, but I thought that since we were together now...”
“Oh sweetheart,” he said, giving his boyfriend a peck on the lips. “Being with you is definitely going to be the best part of it all, but it's...”
“Tacky excuse to sell candy and greeting cards?
“You do remember,” gushed Kurt before turning more serious. “It's not just that; in fact that's not the worst of it. Did you see that Zales commercial at the start of the show?”
Blaine thought back and nodded.
“It's just the whole 'give and you shall receive' thing, as Andriana Lima put it. It seems that Valentine's Day has become a thinly veiled endorsement for prostitution."
“What?!”
“Think about it.” After a minute, understanding bloomed on Blaine's face, complete with a lovely pink hue. “There you go Blaine. I mean I know it's different for us, and gay couples in general, but the whole principal really bothers me. Finn keeps asking me if birthstone earrings for Rachel will get him oral or if he had to go for the whole set.”
“Oh god, I'm never going to look at her jewelry the same way again.”
The two of them shared a nervous giggle.
“I just never want you to feel that you need to give me flowers or something if you want a blowjob. What we have is special and it just seems like making sex a quid pro quo like that would cheapen it.”
“I think that's one of the sweetest things you've ever said to me,” Blaine snorted. “For what it's worth, you've never made me feel like I need to give you something for sex - except orgasms.”
“Blaine!” shreaked his boyfriend, tossing a pillow at him. Blaine just partially stuck out his tongue.
“Hey! I'm recovering from surgery here.”
“You look fine to me,” said Kurt deadpan.
They turned back to watch the final judging, silent until Kurt erupted at the TV in disbelief over Jerrell's win.
“-and you know I'm an Austin fan, but seriously, I can't believe he didn't get sent home for his look.”
Blaine leaned his head back on Kurt's shoulder, the tylenol-codeine he had taken an hour ago in full effect. To be honest, he was glad to be off the Vicodin, at least the new pills didn't make him nauseous.
“So my parents are going to this benefit in Columbus on Tuesday. They've decided to stay overnight at the hotel.”
“Really,” said Kurt, intrigued at the prospect.
“I was thinking you could come over, we'd watch movie,” he suggested. “It doesn't have to be a Valentine's Day thing; it could be just a house-to-ourselves thing. I'll order take-away from The Mixing Bowl; I know you love their butternut squash soup.”
Kurt broke out in a large grin. “That sounds divine. And FYI, it can be a Valentine's Day thing; I'm not that cynical.”
“Great. Then I thought we'd try out that strawberry lube I bought a couple weeks ago.” Blaine smirked brazenly, ducking out of the way of another pillow - why did his mother have so many?! “That wasn't a no.”