(no subject)
i've become one of those people...but i am insanely happy, so can it be that bad?
i've officially decided that i am not going back to school, and my plan is to get certified in massage therapy like i've been thinking about doing for about a year now.
i haven't talked to my father in close to three weeks now, and i'm not sure why. it all started with my avoiding his phone calls because he kept pushing me to get my financial aid figured out for the summer, and i just didn't have the time [and didn't want to either, so i didn't make the time]. but now it has become more of a need to separate myself from him, and i'm not sure why. it upsets me that i haven't talked to him, and i know he's just waiting for me to call him, but somehow i can't bring myself to. i can't bring myself to tell him that i am not going back to school. my mother knows, and seems ok with the idea, but it's proving to be harder for me to tell him. i think i'm going to call him today.
i told jared that there's not much stopping me from heading out west with my dog, and getting certified in a state i actually want to live in. i feel like i'm going crazy; all of this shit is possible, and all of it is happening. we sleep next to each other every night. we go on evening road trips every other night it seems, just driving west and talking, or not talking. we have the kind of relationship where we don't even have to touch each other, but still thoroughly enjoy one anothers company. it's not easy to find someone with whom you have physical attraction as well as an intellectual connection, but somehow i did, and nothing has ever felt quite this right before.
this is the first time in months that i haven't felt the need for my medication to get me through my days, yet i'm still taking it [mostly because i'm afraid of what will happen if i stop]. i used to crave those three little blue pills every morning, but now taking them slips my mind, and i usually remember sometime during the afternoon.
billie is doing well, she is currently asleep on my bed. she slept in the bed with us last night, right in the middle, like a little baby. she's HUGE now, at least three times the size she was when i first brought her home, but her face is still as beautiful and sweet as it was at 2 1/2 months of age. i definitely love her more than life, and don't regret getting her in the least [as some told me i would].
well, there you have it, a full update on my life.
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