Hard essay

[theladymagician]

You might not want to read this. I should tell you first that I'm feeling better now, physically and mentally, but still pretty bad. I just had these feelings eating me up and had to write them. If you're already sick of hearing about my illness, you'll want to skip this one, even though it's more likely to affect you than anyone else

Comments

[jackals_sight]

*HUGZ*
I could never try to understand it all, but I can empathize. I wish I could fix you.
--KJ

[theladymagician]

I may get some fixin' soon! I've just found out that Uni is going to offer PT employees medical insurance! I've got a pre-existing condition so it may still be another year before I can consider getting the treatment(s) I really really want, but at least being able to get antibiotics is going to be a help.

This really really isn't directed at anyone specific. I was frustrated on behalf of myself and my fellow sufferers and felt like it needed saying, to the universe, to the general public, on all our behalves. It's actually been very well recieved on the meniere's forum and several people have expressed a feeling of relief at knowing it's been said without their having to word it.

[lord_couger]

*hugs*
I'm sorry mom, I truly truly am. I won't try and BS you and say that I'm sure everything will get better, because no one can guarantee that. What I can tell you is stereotypical, but true. You have a husband who loves you, and friends who care about you. You're right, life could be a lot worse. We all have our moments of despair; dark times when it is all a person can do to stand. What's important is that a person does stand, and work to change things for the better.
You're an incredibly strong person, an inner strength that is matched only by your kindness if anyone would dare to separate the two. So stay strong, and we'll be behind you whenever you need that extra push to get back into the light.

[lord_couger]

Thank you honey. That was all very well said. I think I'm learning more this time around, being more on my own (Though not even close to completely). I'm also afraid of being coddled, and treated like a cripple, in the opposite over-reaction to my limitations. I think that writing this was an excersise in proving to myself that I have enough INNER strength to push myself back into the light. Knowing that, however, makes it easier to accept a little external nudging without feeling pushed!

[theladymagician]

oh yeah, that was me, again. Dur. *G*

[lord_couger]

No worries, I's duh smawt, I's fiddered is owt.