I Know You Want Me - Chapter Ten
Title: I Know You Want Me
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: Hard NC-17
Length: 52,566
Spoilers: This is AU. No Beth. No Lucy. Puck/Rachel lasted for a few months instead of a week and Jesse is a bigger ass than canon. Also Santana's promiscuity implied in the canon is not in effect for this fic for reasons that will be made evident.
Pairing: Rachel/Santana, Puck/Quinn
Summary: Rachel's longed after someone since the first day they met, but will a big secret bring them together or destroy them?
Warnings (highlight to read): Gender Identity Disorder, pregnancy, angst, topping, language, voyeurism, dub-con, non-con, anal, oral, vaginal, public, fisting, size-kink, and talk of self harm
Chapter Ten
It was almost unbearable.
It wasn't like she wasn't used to the looks. She'd been practicing to ignore the envious, judgemental and even hateful glances since she was three to prepare for her inevitable life in the spotlight. She could even handle the buzz of whispers and laughter around her or the inevitable threat of a slushie to the face.
But when she could hear the whispers and know they were laughing at the situation she found herself in rather than how she dressed, it was much harder. But she wouldn't allow her detractors the satisfaction of seeing her break, so she clutched her binder to her chest a little tighter and raised her chin as she walked down the hall. She may have become a teenaged statistic by a thoughtless accident, but she refused to allow herself to be brought down by it.
Rachel tugged the sleeves of the soft, over-sized, grey sweater over her hands and resisted the urge to bury her nose in the collar to breath in the faint scent of Santana's perfume as she walked. The taller girl had left the sweater at her house when she'd stayed for dinner the other night and she knew she probably shouldn't have worn it to school, but she'd never seen Santana wearing anything even remotely like it before and she'd just wanted to feel close to the girl at school. The constant need of her girlfriend to all but ignore her in school was wearing on her, but she was doing her best to keep up a brave face and take her comfort where she could.
She reached the choir room without too much further difficulty, though she was getting unfortunately awkward in her movements with her growing belly. Opening the door and slipping through, she glanced up only to realize that unlike usual, she wasn't the first and was approaching the last to arrive. It wasn't acceptable and she sighed softly, trying to come to terms with the change in her schedule - mainly having to spend her free period actually studying to keep up now that her focus was less on school and more on the life growing under her heart.
Santana looked up when the door cracked open. She breathed a sigh of relief when Rachel came in not covered in slushy like the previous day. Puck had to physically hold her back when she found out someone slushied Rachel even after Santana and Quinn ordered that the the slushies stopped on the pregnant girl (though they increased the slushies on Artie, Jacob and Finn). When the rumors started going around that something was up with Rachel, Santana had to just keep her head down and try to not get involved. She knew she should be a bigger person and stand up for Rachel; but she also knew her life was at stake. It was one thing to be a gay kid in Lima... she didn't even want to imagine what it would be like to live openly as a transwoman in Lima.
She carefully kicked her legs up on the chair in front of her as Quinn rambled on about something stupid that Puck had done the night before.
"Are you even listening to me, Santana?" Quinn asked as she pinched the skin on Santana's thigh.
"Ow! What the fuck, Q?" The Latina's attention re-directed to her friend when she was pinched. "What? I was listening! Puck was being a douche and trying to fuck you, what else is new!"
"You weren't listening," She replied and let her eyes follow where Santana's had landed. "I don't understand Puck's allegiance to that girl. Plus, what is she..." That's when Quinn saw it. The sweater that she had seen Santana curl up her whole body in during many a sleepover. The sweater that the girl had stolen from her father, "Santana..." Quinn looked over at the girl with a raised eyebrow. "Maybe the better questions is why she wearing your fat sweater?"
"It's not my fat sweater, I'm never fat." Santana crossed her eyes and glared at Quinn.
Quinn scoffed, her eyes following Rachel as the clearly pregnant girl as she took her seat as primly as possible and waited for Mr Schuester's inevitable late arrival. "Please, S, I'm hardly an idiot and that is your sweater. You've had it forever. Why's the hobbit in it?"
The darker girl chewed her lip for a moment and watched as Puck headed to sit with his public baby-momma. Santana sighed, she knew Quinn knew that it wasn't Puck's child Rachel was carrying, but she didn't know if she was ready to claim it as hers to her best friend.
"Can you just not?" Santana asked, with a pointedly strong hiss of her voice. "Look yeah. It's mine. I gaves it to her when she got slushed the other day. Puck's clothing all smelled like ass and she needed something clean to wear." She shrugged and turned her attention back to the front of the room, but her leg bounced with nerves as she waited for Quinn's come back.
Quinn watched her friend, her eyes narrowing. "Bullshit," she hissed, glancing around to make sure no one was paying attention to them, "You and I both know you don't bring that into school cause you don't want everyone to know what a daddy's girl you are. So what is going on and I know it's hard for you," she sneered, finding it too easy to fall back on the HBIC attitude she used as the captain of the cheerleading squad, "but try being honest this time."
"Calm your fucking tits, Fabray." Santana hissed as she turned to the blonde. "Back the fuck off, okay. I thought you were a friend but evidently you're just a cunt who can't mind her own business..." She looked down and tried to fix her pony as she spoke.
Quinn's eyes went wide and she reached out and set a hand on Santana's knee. "Okay, hey, just... calm down okay?" She licked her lips, her eyes darting around to make sure they hadn't garnered any attention and glaring at Puck when he turned around to see what was going on behind him, "Look, I know I can be a bitch and all, but... you're my friend, Santana. I don't know what's going on with Manhands but she's got my boyfriend wrapped around her little finger and letting people think she's carrying his spawn. And now you're getting tangled in her web too. I don't like it."
"Level with me now or later, but I'm not blind and I can tell some thing's going on with the three of you. I'm your friend, San," she squeezed the girl's knee then let go, "if you let me in, maybe I can help with whatever mess the three of you are in." Her lips quirked, "Not fond of helping RuPaul, but I'll do it for you and Puck."
"It's mine." She whispered, her eyes still looking down at where pale skin touched tan. "It's mine, Quinn." she swallowed and bit her lip.
"It's what?!" Quinn hissed, eyes wide with shock, only to be interrupted when Will came in big and blustery to try and hide that he was late - again - and drew the attention her outburst had gathered back away. Once everyone was paying attention to the teacher again, she almost turned to face Santana completely before catching herself, settling for leaning over slightly and gawking at her friend. "Oh my god, Santana! You... you and Berry? It," she darted her eyes down at the girl's lap significantly, "works?"
Santana's eyes remained focused on her hands. She nodded slowly and tried to not feel like she did when they told Puck. "I... I just," she choaked, suddenly feeling suffocated. She quickly bounded up and out of the room with out a word given to Mr. Schue. Puck turned and gave his girlfriend a pointed look and mouthed the fuck? when he saw Santana leave the room.
"I'm sorry. She's not feel very well, Mr. Schue," Quinn explained as she gathered their things and stood up with a pointed look at a confused and worried looking Rachel, "Might have been something she ate. I'm going to go make sure she's okay."
"Good idea, Quinn." He nodded, "Way to take initiative. You see, guys? This is what I'm talking about. You gotta watch out for each other!"
His voice faded out as Quinn closed the door, glancing both ways down the hall before heading for the one place she had found Santana every time she'd had an emotional break. The second floor handicap bathroom. It was the only one with a lock, but a few seconds with a nail file and she could be in.
Santana was leaning with her back pressed against the cool tile wall. She wanted to run, she wanted to just run away but she couldn't. She just closed her eyes and kept breathing; she didn't even notice when Quinn had let herself into the room.
Quinn stepped softly closer, reaching out to gently brush her fingers over Santana's bare upper arm. "Santana," she whispered, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have reacted like that. I was... I was just surprised..."
"Yeah. Me fucking too." Santana laughed sarcastically as she opened her eyes. "Look. I didn't want this to happen. I didn't want anything like this to happen. I shouldn't be able to get someone fucking pregnant, but I did. I made a fucking mistake and now I'm ruining her life... Puck's just being a good guy and helping me out. I can't let people find out about me, Quinn! I can't!"
Quinn shook her head, "She... well, she's apparently keeping it, so maybe it's not so bad?" She offered an awkward smile and tried joking, "Since when are you so concerned about RuPaul's life being ruined anyway, S? I mean, it's just Manhands."
"Since I told her she would be my girlfriend," Santana responded with a curt tone. "So stop fucking calling her that. It's bad enough she's still getting slushied and her ex-boyfriend has to take the dive for knocking her up, but just back off okay."
Quinn's eyes went wide and her jaw dropped in shock. "Her girlfriend? Santana, what is going on? Since when have you even liked her let alone wanted to date her?" She looked confused for a moment, "Since when is Rachel even a lesbian?! I would have thought she was strictly boys only after the way we fought over Finn!"
"I don't know... I never asked and let's go to a technicality... can we call her a dyke when she fucking rammed my dick inside herself without so much as asking first?" Santana yelled at her friend, "No one else will ever wanna date me so why the fuck not."
"San," Quinn breathed softly, gently brushing her fingers over the smaller girl's arm, "did... did she rape you?" She looked worried and scared for her friend, "God, San, if she did why in the world did you tell her you'd be her girlfriend
Santana rolled her eyes. "She was forward and I was shocked. She more or less caught me jacking off when it happened... Look, it's complicated, but yeah she's my girlfriend and I'm the fucking douche bag who can't control their unwanted appendage." Santana looked down and scuffed her shoes against the floor.
"Look... In reality who the fuck is ever gonna want me?" She looked up, her words might not have sounded heartfelt but her face looked just broken. "Seriously."
"San," Quinn's voice cracked suspiciously and she looked like she might want to hug the other girl for a second, "you're wanted. Just because you're," she shrugged, "different doesn't mean no one wants you. What about Brittany? There are people who love you. Don't shut them out just because the little freak assaulted you. What's so special about her that makes her worthy of being your girlfriend anyway? Perhaps you haven't noticed, but you're Santana Lopez, second in command of the Cheerios and she is just Rachel Berry, lowest of the low."
For a few long moments Santana just looked at her friend and thought, "Actualy, it does. Brittany didn't want to be with a girl... She only wanted to be with boys." She laughed at how unfortunatly sad that situation was. "She didn't wanna be in love with me and she didn't want it." Santana licked her lips and looked down. "I just... Look. She likes me, she's liked me for awhile." She exhaled and looked at her friend, "Quinn... just don't be like this okay."
The blonde sighed softly, "I just want you happy, S. Okay so... so Berry likes you. Maybe she's even in love with you. But does she deserve you? She's a freak who's obsessed with Broadway and being a star and is convinced that she's better than everyone." She squeezed her friend's upper arm gently, "Please don't think you're not wanted. Because you are. More than you know. The way you're shaped," there was a slight flicker of hesitation, "it doesn't matter, Santana. Not to me. Not to Puck. Not to anyone who matters..."
"Quinn, I'm gonna remind you that the only reason you or Puck ever wanted me in a way that was more than friendship was because we were drunk." She sighed and hugged her arms around her chest. "I have friends. I have plenty of people who think I'm their friend and I have you and Puck who are my actual friends." She rubbed her hand across her face and let out a deep sigh. "But no one will ever want me like you want Puck... No one will ever want me for me. I know you don't understand what I have to live with, that I have to hide... but I don't believe you when you say that people will want me despite of my body."
"What about Berry then? You say no one will want you, but," she shrugged, "you're apparently with her and she wants you or whatever. So there's got to be other people out there who'd like you the same way. She's not that special, Santana."
"She is." Santana said quietly, "She doesn't care that I have... she wants me to be comfortable and she tries really hard to always make sure that I'm okay and that she's not making me feel like a guy..." Santana looked down, "Puck.. who has known how I am for a long time didn't know how to do that... and neither do you." She admitted.
Quinn just shook her head and sighed, "I don't know about any of this, Santana. It's way out of anything I know how to handle. But," she smiled sheepishly, "I'm your friend and maybe I have messed up at making you feel like who you really are, but I never meant to. I know I'm a bitch and I'll get into fights with you at the drop of a hat, but... if she makes you happy," she shrugged, "then at the end of the day, I've got your back, S."
She hesitated a second then pulled Santana into the sort of hug that had been uncharacteristic of the girl for the last three years of high school, "You're my best friend, Santana, and you're closer to me than my own sister. Now..." she pulled back with her hands sliding down to rest on Santana's upper arms, "you're having a baby and you didn't tell me?" She smiled as brightly as she could though she still held quite a bit of reservations about the whole thing.
"Only my dad... and I guess Puck, and you now, know the truth." Santana sighed as she tiredly moved to rest her head on Quinn's shoulder like she did when they were little. "I'm so freaked out... like seriously. I can't remember the last time I slept without waking up and having a panic attack or like wondering if I'm doing something wrong." She closed her eyes for a moment, breathing in the smell of her friend as she did so. "I know this is all fucked up. I know that this is way too much for anyone to handle... but you're family and I need you."
She reached down and held out her pinky finger for her to take. "You never intentionally did anything other than make me your sister. It's mostly me, I'm not comfortable sometimes and I project that onto other people. Except Puck.. he asked me if I was going back to being a boy when he found out..." She sighed still not really over that moment.
Quinn smiled at her as she reached out and carefully linked her pinky with Santana's. When she heard about Puck's reaction, she snorted, "That sounds right. I might like him, but I'll be the first to admit that my boyfriend is a blockhead sometimes. But, we'll figure this out, okay? I've got your back. And, for the record, telling Sue about your implants? Not me."
"Yeah.. I know." She sighed and rolled her neck. "It was Brittany." She had found out when Brittany finally pulled away from her to be with Artie. "Brittany never did understand why as a girl I was so flat. The hormones like gave me a little bit then the padded bra... but I wanted to look like you and her and I wanted tits. So, I bought a pair." Santana was quiet for a bit before speaking again. "Some days I just feel like the biggest freak in the world."
"You're not the biggest freak," Quinn teased, squeezing the smaller girl's pinky, "That's obviously Jewfro. Seriously, I caught him hiding in the girls' bathroom again just last week. You're just my best friend and possibly dating the biggest loser in the school, but if anyone could rock that look, it's you." She bumped her hip against Santana's lightly. "So, how about we head back to Glee and let everyone know you haven't died before your hobbit finds some excuse to come looking for you."
"She is mighty annoying like that." She smiled softly as she started pulling Quinn to the door. "By the way, your boyfriend is pretty much a freak too. And kinda gay." she teased and bumped the girl's shoulder. "I missed you Quinn, I missed us... I think that we should hang out more let the Jews do their thing and just eat bacon and make fun of them."
Quinn laughed softly, "You bring the bacon and I'll bring the DVD sets of obscure teen sitcoms from the eighties and popcorn with extra butter. Those two can have their Jewish time and burn off any excess freakiness before they come back to the two hottest girls in school." She cocked an eyebrow at Santana and smirked, "They're damn lucky they even caught our attention, right?"
"Totally, we's be fine ass bitches." Santana smiled and pulled the other girl to the glee room. They were giggling when they re-entered the choir room which caused everyone to look up. Santana just glared at them and pulled Quinn over to the chairs behind their partners. She kicked the back of Rachel's chair and winked at her when she turned around with a gape on her face.
Shocked as she was that Santana had lacked the public decorum to kick the back of her chair, she couldn't help but relax and smile warmly at the wink before turning back around to pay something like attention to Will. Quinn looked surprised for a moment at the obvious affection coming from the tiny diva. Leaning over she whispered in Santana's ear, "Okay. Maybe she does really like you."
Santana smiled and blushed softly before turning her attention back to listen to Mr. Schuester. "Shut up." She whispered as she did so.
While Glee was still a major part of her life, dancing became even more of a chore than usual the bigger she got. Thankfully though, no one had felt the urge to tell her to sit it out yet - aside from Santana, but she was worried about their child so, while exceedingly sweet, Rachel liked to think it didn't count as much. They'd been working hard to put the final touches on their Nationals bid and everyone was getting tired.
She wasn't off-step, but she also wasn't paying as strict attention as she would have been if she'd been fully alert. So when, in an eerie flashback to junior year, Finn's hand came flying back while he watched Brittany somersaulting over Artie's chair, Rachel had been ill prepared to duck. His hand smashed into her mouth and her feet slid on the slick floor as she went down hard with a pained yelp.
Santana quickly turned on her heel the minute she heard a loud thump. Her heart stopped and she froze when she saw Rachel flat on the floor holding her face. She didn't know what to do, she just gaped.
Puck shot Santana a half second look before he was darting across the stage, sliding the last few feet to Rachel's side. "Are you ok? How's the baby?"
Rachel pulled her hand away from her mouth with a grimace, revealing bloody teeth an a split lip, "Hurts, Noah. How's my nose? Is it okay? It's not broken is it?"
He winced at the blood even as Will came over to see if they were okay, "Your nose is cool, Jewbabe, but you got a nasty split lip there. I think we gotta get you to the doc. You sure the baby's good?" He knelt beside her, around her shoulders to help her up, "Come on, Princess, let's get you on your feet."
"Finn, seriously, after all this time haven't you learned to watch where your arms are going?" Will scolded, helping Rachel up on the other side.
Santana was frozen, her rage at Finn hitting Rachel and the jealously that rose in her at puck's reaction and words. "Fuck, Finn, you're such a fucking douche! You should get a arm reduction!" Santana shakily spat.
Finn was stunned. "What the hell is your problem? Look, I feel bad enough already, I don't need you yelling at me on top of it! Why are you pissed anyway? You don't even like Rachel!"
He didn't notice the way Rachel stiffened and looked back of her shoulder pleadingly at Santana as Puck lead her out to go to the nurse's office. Quinn put an arm around Santana's waist, "Let it go, S. He's not worth it..."
Santana struggled against Quinn's body, she wanted to lash out, to hurt the dopey boy that just endangered her child and Rachel. Her body calmed against Quinn's when she felt the girl whisper "you'll make it worse" against her shoulder. Santana turned and tried to avoid Puck's look and Rachel's bleeding face as he lead her out.
"You're just fucking stupid. Jesus, you fucking can't control your arms to not hit girls in the face! You think once would have been enough!"
"Santana!" Mr Schuester exclaimed, "Don't talk to your teammates like that! He's sorry and it was an accident." When Santana started to mumble again, he pointed to the door. "I'm tired of your attitude. You're done for the week."
"You can't do that!" Quinn exclaimed, as she used all her strength to keep the girl from killing him. "She's just telling the truth!"
"She's lashing out and she can come back when she's no longer angry for no reason," he explained. Quinn just tugged Santana out of the room.
"We can go check on them okay?" Quinn murmured as Santana held onto her arm and tried to move past the pain if getting removed from something she actually cared about.
"You're too damn nice to him sometimes, Rach!"
Rachel was sitting on a bed with her head titled back as the nurse daubed the blood away from her mouth with gloved hands. Puck was leaning against the wall with a concerned scowl and folded arms. "Seriously. Let me talk to him. He'll damn well stop smacking tiny ass girls in the face by the time I'm done."
She huffed and did her best to speak while moving her lips as little as possible. "Violence is hardly an appropriate response, Noah. It was an accident and I'm certain he's very apologetic and contrite by now, just as he was last year. This is just a reminder that I need to be more cognizant of my surroundings, something which I was obviously lacking today."
"It just ain't right for a guy to smack girls, Rach! And this is the second time he's hit you!" Puck scowled, shaking his head. "Don't be so dumb about this!"
"Who's being dumb about what?" Quinn asked as her and Santana came into the nurse's office, earning them both a raised brow from the nurse, "No, Nurse Powell, we weren't fighting. We're just here to check on Rachel."
Rachel rolled her eyes to look at Santana and Quinn in confusion as they came into the nurse's office. "Why are you here? Is something wrong? Did something else happen in Glee? Oh my gosh, did the stage collapse?!"
"Shut up!" Santana exclaimed before going over and hugging her girlfriend. "I was scared," she whispered in her lover's neck. "Is the baby okay?"
The nurse stepped away to dispose of the bloody gauze after she finally got the bleeding to stop with a couple of butterfly bandages, leaving Rachel free to wrap her arms around Santana and hug her tight. "I was scared too," she admitted, speaking quietly to try and avoid alerting Quinn of the nature of the pregnancy, unaware that she knew, "Our little one is okay I think, but I'd like to talk to your father to be certain."
"I'd like to punch Finn in the damn nose," Puck grumbled ambling over to give Quinn a hug.
Quinn rolled her eyes, but hugged him back, "Don't be such a drama queen, Puck. If anyone gets to beat on him for smacking Berry again, San gets first dibs. She's her girlfriend after all." She glanced over at Rachel's shocked expression with a wry smirk, "At least this time she isn't feeling compelled to try and imitate me via the miracle of modern medicine?"
For once in her life, Rachel was speechless. Her eyes darted back and forth between Santana and Quinn in utter confusion. "I... I don't... what?" she stumbled over her words, completely at a loss from the sudden revelation of the cheerleading captain's knowledge of her relationship with her second-in-command.
"Yeah.. She knows everything." Santana shrugged as she held her girlfriend. "Don't worry, okay? My dad will check everything out for you, okay?"
As Santana's words sunk in Rachel relaxed, allowing Santana to hold her as she rested her head on the taller girl's shoulder. Quinn watched them interact, frowning thoughtfully and shooting a glare at Puck when he nudged her and shook his head with a frown. "Don't fuck this up for them, Quinn," he whispered in her ear, "Rach is good for her no matter how weird and fucked up this might seem. You ain't seen 'em like I have."
Rachel closed her eyes and kissed Santana's neck gently. "Why are you here though? Noah was taking care of me, you didn't have to leave Glee early - though I am entirely touched that you were so concerned for the well-being of myself and our child."
"She didn't leave," Quinn grimaced, "so much as get kicked out by Mr. Schue for the week."
Rachel shot upright, looking horrified, "What? Why?!"
Santana shot a glare over her shoulder at her friend. "I might have told Finn to get an arm reduction..." she looked down, "and swore at him for being fucking stupid." She ran get fingertips over the girl's nose. "I mean what the fuck..."
Rachel reached up and caught Santana's hand, giving her a soft smile as if it was only the two of them in the room. "This was as much my fault for my not paying attention as his for being off of his mark. As it is, the only damage appears to be a split lip and a minor bit of bruising to my tailbone if the ache I'm feeling right now is any indication." She kissed the taller girl's knuckles, wincing slightly as the torn skin of her lip stung at the contact, "Thank you for defending me though. Your techniques may have been slightly excessive, but I know your heart was in the right place."
"You're just happy I didn't punch him and get suspended." Santana replied. She heard Quinn making gagging sounds over her shoulder. "Shut up, tubby." She hissed.
"I'm happy you didn't try to punch him and get hurt, Santana." Rachel frowned, "While I do admit I am equally grateful you are not suspended, your well-being is of a rather more immediate concern to me."
Quinn rolled her eyes both at the continued display of affection and at the nickname, "Whatever, Santana. I had a pregnancy scare back then. You actually managed to get yourself involved in something a bit more real."
"But will remain sexy as hell and under a hundred pounds." she beamed and teased the other girl as she stroked Rachel's hand with her thumb.
Quinn laughed, watching her calm Rachel's worries with a simple brush of her thumb, "Sexy as hell and skinny, sure, but I think we might have to add completely whipped to that list as well." She smirked at Santana, leaning back into Puck as he wrapped his arms around her in an attempt to ward off a fight.
"Come on, ladies... I know the Jewish are a hot as hell people - Jewfro completely excepted - but calm yourselves," He winked at Rachel who just rolled her eyes with a fond smile, "there's plenty of Jew to go around. And hey, what makes three of the hottest girls in school hotter than a healthy addition of Puckasarus to the mix?" He leered at Santana and Rachel over Quinn's shoulder.
"Puck.. I'm not scared of telling stories about you and me or you and Rachel around Quinn." she raised her eyebrow in wondering if Quinn knew about Puck's interest in her penis and jacking off together. "Also hands off... My Jew."
Rachel blushed and buried her face in Santana's shoulder, "Santana, honestly, you make it sound as if I engaged in far more than I did with him." After a moment though she raised her head enough to shoot Puck a glare more appropriate to one of the two Cheerios than her normal demeanor, "And, Noah, while I understand you are a man and given to certain inclinations and urges as well as being one of my dearest friends, I still feel obligated to inform you that if you are considering what I believe you are considering - particularly with my girlfriend - you would be well advised to begin wearing a robust chastity device."
She narrowed her eyes, "Because if you were ever to attempt to actually act upon what I have no doubt you are vividly imagining and approached her with lewd intent, I would feel compelled to engage in the removal and collection of certain - highly precious to you - selections of your flesh. You've known me for most of my life, Noah. You know I am capable of it."
His eyes went wide and his hips shifted until they were hidden behind his girlfriend, "Whoa, whoa. It was just a joke, Princess! No need to make threats to Little Puckie!"
"Little is the correct term." Santana whispered loudly enough to know they heard it.
Quinn and Rachel both burst into shocked laughter as Puck turned a hurt puppy look on his best friend. "Ouch, San! Seriously, ouch! I'm wounded here!"
"I'm stating facts. All I'm saying is that Quinn couldn't handle me in a foursome, Puck." Santana smirked and leaned closer and whispered for only Rachel to hear. "Unlike you who can take all if me."
Rachel's lips brushed Santana's ear as she whispered, "Everyday and everyway, beautiful girl." She smirked up at the shocked duo watching them, "My girl can't help it if she's amazing, Noah. I'm sorry."
Santana smiled and let her hand drop to gently stroke the baby bump. "Yup."
Quinn rolled her eyes, pushing away from Puck, "Gag me. Okay. Now that we're sure Berry and Baby," her lips twitched, "Pezberry are not in danger any more, can we get going to practice now?"
Rachel opened her mouth, but Quinn cut her off. "No. No way. Absolutely not, Rachel. There is no way you are allowed near the Cheerios' practice. First, Sue would kill you - and us for letting you - for showing up. Second," she looked pointedly at Santana, "you might be hooking up with my second and carrying her spawn, but that doesn't mean you get special privileges around here. Third, and most important," she pointed between the two of them, "if you're there San won't be focused like I need her to be and could get hurt - not to mention give the whole game away to Sue. No. You can watch Puck hurl himself around the football field with the rest of the meatheads or practice in the choir room or whatever else pregnant midget divas do after school, but you can't come to Cheerios practice."
"She's got a point... Like I gotta go. You know it's the only way I'm getting into an out of state school," she sighed and kissed Rachel softly. "Be careful and call my dad so we can get you checked out tonight, okay?"
"Okay," Rachel whispered, her eyes slightly closed as she pulled away from the kiss, "If I must, then I must."
"Puck, listen up and listen good," Quinn turned to the man in the room with a stern face and poked him in the chest, "it's your responsibility to make sure Berry's in one piece when we get done with practice. San's my second and I need her in peak condition as we head for Nationals this year. Berry gets hurt, she's not going to be that. So you are gonna make sure that doesn't happen."
Puck looked vaguely offended, "Hey, Rach's my Jewish American Princess, Q. I've always got her back." Rachel glanced at him with a raised brow and he blushed, "Well, after I grew up and stopped slushing her, but I don't do that no more. Seriously, San. Your girl's safe if I have anything to say about it, 'kay?"
Santana pulled back, cracking her neck and trying to slip back in HBIC mode. "Alright. Also, touch her and die." Santana snapped as she eyed him and took Quinn's arm. "Let's do this."
"Geez," Puck grumbled, coming over to help Rachel down off the bed, "you'd think I didn't know how to keep it in my pants the way everyone's acting."
"That's just because you tend to act like you don't," Rachel smiled sweetly, rising on tip toes to kiss his cheek, "but we're just giving you a difficult time, Noah. Don't take it so harshly. We know you're secretly a sweet young man underneath that overly randy persona of yours."
"Awesome," he grinned, only for it to fall a moment later, "Wait, that was a compliment, right?" He looked confused for a moment before shrugging and giving Santana a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, San. I might be a lewd jerk, but Rach's like my sister these days. You ain't got nothing to worry about. Now go on and get to your ass-shaking practice."
"Future strippers of America practice, actually." Santana winked as she tugged the blonde out the door.
"The other mother of my child is not going to be a stripper, Santana!" Rachel scowled, "Go do your best, but you're going to be a success and will never have to take your clothes off for anyone you don't want to. And neither will Quinn either. Don't be absurd."
Huffing, she grabbed Puck's arm and dragged him out of the nurse's office in the direction of the choir room. "Come along, Noah. We have to practice now so we can properly serenade our cheerleaders at a later date."
"B-but... practice!" He sputtered, being pulled along by the wrist.
"Don't be absurd. I know the schedule of all the after school practices and football is Monday, Wednesday, and Friday with special teams - which I am fully aware you are not on - practicing on Tuesday. Today is Thursday and you have no excuse." Holding her chin high, she continued dragging him away.
"Please. I'd have to strip at a fetish bar if I were to strip.." she shrugged before leaving the room with a sigh. "Thanks," she said as they headed to the field. "I know you don't like her."
Quinn just shrugged, "Yeah, but you do. And really, as far as people in this school go, she's hardly the worst. Plus, it's kinda obvious you're planning on keeping her around, so time to suck it up and get used to her." She smirked, then chewed the inside of her cheek, "What are you going to do about the kid?"
"I guess keep it? She didn't want an abortion... I don't believe in it... But like I don't wanna be a father. It sucks enough being a girl in a boy's body... I hate it. She likes my junk though, she got really upset when she found out I was looking into surgery."
She sighed and looked down, "I just... I want kids someday. I never thought I could, you know? I feel like it's my only chance."
Quinn couldn't help her lip curling in her trademark sneer. "She got mad about you wanting to change yourself to be more comfortable? Seriously? God, what is she? Obsessed with sex or something? S, you can like adopt or whatever if you have to. Later, you know. When you're older and ready for kids and stuff. You don't have to take this route..."
"She thinks it's the only reason I stay with her.. Which I don't understand. I'll still be able to do her... But she just can't do anything to me." Santana sighed, "it's kinda too late to not keep the baby now."
"While thinking of the two of you getting it on is pretty gross," she nudged Santana with her shoulder, trying to cheer her up a little, "maybe - and I can't believe I'm defending your little freak like this - it's not about your junk, San. How would you feel if stuff was the opposite and you wouldn't get to do her? I mean, I'm guessing you like her and stuff after all. And," she shrugged, pushing open the door to the gymnasium, "it's not like adoption's not an option, right?"
"I don't want that." santana sighed, "I want the kid. So does she." she sighed and licked her plump lips. "I just.. I understand. I just don't like the part of me she wants me to keep. Like I've tried to cut it off and I spend a lot of time wanting to kill myself because of it." She didn't want to tell Quinn about her recent attempt on her life.
Quinn sighed and shrugged, stopping them before they could get out into Sue's field of vision and lowering her voice, "Look, San. I don't have a clue what to tell you to make any of this better or easier, okay? I'm your friend and I'll do my best to help and support you however I can, but this... this is way beyond what I can understand right now. Have you told her any of this? Does she get it?" She looked concerned, "Is there anyway you could just... learn to accept it? I mean, she obviously seems to..."
Santana's lips tightened, "If by accept it, you mean my body?" she narrowed her gaze. "Then you aren't understanding. It's like cancer. It's like having a dead half-formed twin on me. I hate everything it means." she swallowed, "I hate what it makes me."
"You're right, S. I don't understand! And you know what I don't understand the most?" Quinn hissed, getting frustrated, "I don't understand why you're even with Rachel if she makes you so unhappy!"
"She makes me happy! Fuck, she makes me really happy but I'm fucking stuck with something that makes me so anxious and depressed... I fucking tried to kill myself a few months back because I hated what it was doing to me. How it made me feel."
Quinn's lips tightened - she wasn't sure if she wanted to smack Santana in that moment or start crying for her, "If she makes you so happy then pull your shit together and figure out how to make this work for you. If you need to get that surgery thing, then freaking talk to her and figure out a way to make it work! Jesus, San! Your hobbit talks all the damn time! About everything! Haven't you noticed that she loves talking about things? Just tell her how you feel and what you need to be happy!"
"She doesn't understand. No one does." Santana said before walking onto the court.
Quinn wanted to scream in frustration at the other girl, but she just followed her out and vented her ire on the unsuspecting cheerleaders under her command. Much to the pleasure of one Sue Sylvester watching with an eagle eye from the bleachers. Two sweat drenched and exhausting hours later, she finally bellowed into her megaphone for them to hit the showers.