I Know You Want Me - Chapter Thirty
Title: I Know You Want Me
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: Hard NC-17
Length: 165,822
Spoilers: This is AU. No Beth. No Lucy. Puck/Rachel lasted for a few months instead of a week and Jesse is a bigger ass than canon. Also Santana's promiscuity implied in the canon is not in effect for this fic for reasons that will be made evident.
Pairing: Rachel/Santana, Puck/Quinn
Summary: Rachel's longed after someone since the first day they met, but will a big secret bring them together or destroy them?
Warnings (highlight to read): Gender Identity Disorder, pregnancy, angst, topping, language, voyeurism, dub-con, non-con, anal, oral, vaginal, public, fisting, size-kink, and talk of self harm
Chapter 30
The day of the barbecue dawned cool and clear. By the afternoon it had warmed up to something warmer than cool, but the sky was still a nice, cloudless blue. Rachel looked down at the scrap of paper in her hand to the modest house and back again before looking over at Santana sitting in the driver's seat.
"Are you certain he gave you this address?" She looked uncertain, looking again between the paper and the single story white sided house with the handful of cars parked in the driveway. It looked the very picture of suburbia and she was having a difficult time correlating it with the boisterous personality of the man they knew.
Santana nodded and parked on the street. "I know it's a little... stifling to be Andre's but I guess it's what it is." She threw the car in park and leaned over and kissed Rachel softly, "I love you and I need you to know I'm scared right now," she admitted as she threw her keys in the diaper bag and got out of the car. She unbuckled the baby and handed him to Rachel once he was out so she could grab the pop up crib and his toys.
"You're not the only one," Rachel admitted softly, watching Santana as she cradled their boy, "but we're together so we can handle it. Right? Besides, we have Aaron with us and who can resist this cute little face?" She pinched his cheek, making him laugh, "No one, that's who!"
"He's like the best awkward moment buffer ever." She smiled and kissed his nose before taking Rachel's hand. "Let's do this." She walked up to the door and knocked on the wood before looking at her feet then back up faking a smile and confidence.
"I know a better confidence booster," Rachel murmured, getting a grip on Santana's collar and pulling her down for a possessive kiss, giving her lower lip a bite as she pulled away as she heard footsteps behind the door. She looked up at her lover with darkened eyes and a smirk as she smoothed a bit of her lipstick from her lover's lower lip with her thumb. "I love you, you know." She took her hand and brushed her lips over the knuckles, "Feel any better?"
"I love you too, and I feel lots better." She smiled and smoothed out her button down shirt that was neatly tucked into her skinny jeans. Andre opened the door with a grin when he saw the young family.
"Look at you!" He exclaimed as he leaned in and kissed Rachel's cheeks twice and then did the same to Santana. "You both look lovely and so does this little guy." He said as he tapped the fedora on the baby's head.
"Yes, Santana does know how to make a young man look especially dapper, even when he's not even a year old yet," Rachel teased, squeezing her lover's hand. "It's good to see you again, Andre. I'm terribly sorry I haven't been able to come by the bar lately."
"You're busy with these two and school. I wonder how you do it some days." He smirked as he took the playpen from Santana. "Come on, come in." he stated as she ushered the girls into the house. "So this is my house, it's quaint but lovely enough." There were voices mostly coming from the yard, but in the kitchen was a relatively thin tall man pulling bruchetta out of the oven.
"Chris?" Andre called, the man looked up with a soft smile. "This is Rachel, Santana and their son Aaron."
Santana gave a slight wave and smiled, "Hey, nice to finally meet you," She said, after hearing about the man constantly for the last few months that Andre had been seeing him.
"You too, Santana." he smiled. "It's nice to meet you as well, Rachel."
Rachel hesitated for a moment, not expecting to be confronted with a couple that reminded her so much of her fathers but she quickly shook it off and offered Chris one of her best show-stopping smiles as she held out a hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Chris. Thank you very much for having us over to your home, Andre. Not too many people are interested in being visited by a nineteen year old lesbian couple with an infant in tow, so we don't get many invitations."
"Well, we're a little bit special here," he smiled before taking the plate out to the back yard. "Follow along I want to show you off." Andre drawled as he gestured for them to follow.
"Can... can I hold Aaron?" Santana asked nervously as she reached for him.
"Please," Rachel replied handing their son off to his favorite mom, "I need my hands free for meet and greets and to keep greedy hands off my woman!" She winked at her fiancée with a sassy smirk and headed out after Andre and Chris.
Santana cuddled her son and followed them out. There were about five people outside congregating around a few tables. Most everyone was in their mid 30's or older and they all kinda looked up when Andre clapped his hands.
"The women of the hour!" Andre announced. "This is Santana and Rachel. Santana works for me and Rachel is her lovely girlfriend whom, may I add, sings beautifully," he said adoringly and looked at Santana, "Oh! And their baby! He's Aaron."
Santana just waved slightly and held the baby closer.
"Hello, everyone!" Rachel waved exuberantly, hiding her nervousness under her patented Broadway bravado. "My fiancée and I are thrilled to be invited to your little soirée and to have extended the invite to our little Aaron?" She grinned and laid a hand again her chest. "You're all simply too kind."
A tall woman with bright red hair, clothes that Kurt would have described as "screaming look at me!", and a complexion not far from cafe au lait smiled and abandoned the woman she was with to come and shake Rachel and Santana's hand. "There is simply no way you aren't Rachel," she smiled, "so that beauty behind you must be your intended. Am I wrong?"
Rachel shook her head with a proud smile, but the woman continued before she could say anything. "Oh excellent. I'm Samantha, by the way, though everyone just calls me Sam. That pretty thing over by the hor d'vours is my date, the lucky girl. Her name's Missy...or maybe Mindy? Oh well. The pretty blonde is Lisa and that's her husband Charlie. Their son Teddy is around somewhere," she looked around for a moment but just shook her head. "Ah well, you'll know him when you see him!"
Rachel stared with wide eyes almost in awe of the sheer force of personality the woman was emitting.
Santana's jaw hung open. Someone just out personalitied her lover. "You talk faster and longer than she does." The girl gaped as she looked at Sam.
Sam laughed, "Sweetheart, don't you know? Faster and longer's what I'm all about." She winked at Santana making Rachel glower.
"Hey-" she began after laying a possessive hand on Santana's arm, only to be cut off by a soft voice.
"Lay off the girls, Sam. They're a bit young for your style of friendliness right off the bat." The woman was smaller than Sam by almost a foot and slender. Her long blonde hair fell in a smooth cascade past her shoulders and her clothes were tastefully understated but of good quality and design. She rested a slim hand on Sam's shoulder and gently eased her out of the way before offering her left hand. "Hello, girls. I'm Lisa and that's my husband Charlie as Sam told you. Please, come sit down and relax. This supposed to be a party not a meat market, no matter what my friend's behavior may imply."
Santana blushed and hugged her son. "It's nice to meet you... we.. we really don't know anyone in New Orleans except our housemates - who we brought from Ohio - and Andre."
"Well that simply won't do," Sam gushed, getting behind the girls and pushing them towards a couple of empty seats at the table. "A couple of lovely ladies like you? Andre says you've been in town over half a year already and he's been keeping you all to himself, the miserable old coot!"
"Girl, you're just upset you can't get with my fine ass!" Andre called from over by the grill.
Chris rolled his eyes, "Old man, I'm surprised she hasn't. You know if she crossed you'd be all over that."
"But she's not and she won't, so don't you be spreading no tales about Mrs. Jenner's favorite daughter now!" Sam laughed, picking up what looked distinctly like a Mimosa and taking a long sip. "This queen bee is all woman. No old gay boy is going to perk my stinger up."
"Sam, that is just crude." Lisa shook her head, sitting back down next to Charlie and leaning up to kiss his cheek.
The man smiled down at her, "Liece, you know that's just how she is." He slipped an arm around her shoulders before smiling over at the girls, "And who's the dapper young man escorting you girls today?"
Santana moved to sit down in the empty chairs with AJ while Rachel sat next to them. "This is our son." She said as she turned him around and fixed his little hat and his pink polo shirt. "Aaron." she said as she made his hand wave. "He's eight months."
Charlie smiled and waved back, making the boy giggle. "He's pretty fly for a little guy," he grinned at Santana, "Yours? Cause he looks like you."
"Uh," she looked over to Andre not sure what he had told the group of people about her.
"Of course he's hers," Rachel replied glibly, smiling and leaning on the table to play with one of AJ's hands as he reached for her after she spoke. "Where else could he get these cute little dimples or that curly hair?" He laughed and gurgled, bouncing in Santana's lap, "Or that ladykiller smile? You're just the picture of your mami, aren't you Aaron? Yes, you are!"
Santana blushed and looked down still not 100% comfortable taking biological credit for her son with people she didn't really know.
"Santana... don't worry, alright? We're all friends here," Andre comforted as he handed them glasses of soda.
"Yeah... It's still just strange for me." She said softly as her eyes kept downcast. "Yeah, but he's ours."
"Oh!" Charlie looked started, looking between them, "Both of yours?" He blushed, "I'm sorry, I thought... well, I thought you were the mom, Santana."
Lisa rolled her eyes, "Ignore him. He's an idiot sometimes. Loveable and I wouldn't trade him, but an idiot nonetheless."
"Yeah," she reached over and took Rachel's hand for strength. "Yeah, he's um biologically both of us but the Hispanic genes kinda seep through more than the Jewish ones," she teased and fiance and played with the ring on the girl's left hand.
"That's probably a good thing," Rachel pointed out, moving to lean into Santana and rest her head on her shoulder with a pleased smile at how things were going. "His nose is far less prominent than mine for example and I love how healthy his natural tan makes him look. We made one handsome baby, don't you think?" She kissed Santana cheek.
"Awww," Sam gushed, knocking back the rest of her drink and ousting her date from her chair, only to pull the woman back down onto her lap with a giggle, "aren't they just adorable?! Shame on you, Andre, for hiding them from us!"
"So you're like Sam and I?" Lisa inquired with a soft smile for Santana, "I applaud your courage for being who you were meant to be at such a young age. And you for being with her, Rachel."
Rachel blushed, "I love her. There's no need for courage." She lifted Santana's hand so she could kiss it, "She's my soul mate and I'll stay by her side as long as God permits."
"I was..." she took a breath, "I like was never really a boy. I, um... have been living as a girl since my dad took me away from my mom when I was like five." She said, "It's not really anything courageous... my dad just wanted to keep me alive rather than have a dead son." She kissed her fiancee's head and forced a smile. "So.. yeah."
"It still takes courage," Lisa pointed out with a smile, "especially as a lesbian and with a child. I'm jealous, in a way. I'll never have a child that's biologically mine. Teddy's a sweetheart, and I'd never trade him," she glanced over at where the boy was rolling around in the yard with Andre's yellow lab, "but he's not mine and Charlie's the way Aaron is yours and Rachel's. You're quite lucky."
"We didn't know it could happen..." she said honestly, "He was kinda an accident and probably the only one we can ever have so... yeah." She said softly as she kissed her son's temple.
Andre watched Santana's face, knowing she was depressed and it upset him that he couldn't help her out.
"Accident or not, he's a cute kid," Sam pointed out from across the table. "And the two of you are adorable together. Adding him just makes it like mind-boggling cute." She laughed, "And who cares about the lesbians with a baby stuff! Look where you are! Be loud, be flamboyant!"
"Or even shut up before my neighbors complain!" Andre entreated, helping Chris bring over a large plate of grilled chicken and a special soy burger just for Rachel.
"And before you ask, my dear," Chris smiled down at Rachel, setting the burger in front of her with a flourish, "we cooked it first and just kept the patty warming on the side grill while everything else was cooking so no cross-contaminates."
She blushed softly, reaching over to take a sip of her soda, not at all used to being catered to like that. "Thank you, Chris. I appreciate it."
"Think nothing of it." He smiled, heading over to sit down with his boyfriend.
Santana smiled and picked a container and a banana out of her bag. She smooshed it into a bowl and put some breast milk into the mash and picked up a spoon. She put his hat on the bag and kissed his mop of hair.
"Rae? I'm braiding this mess this weekend," She said as she fed little bites to Aaron.
"Ghetto baby!" Andre smiled.
AJ laughed and reached for his mom's hand as she fed him, pretending to feed himself. Rachel just rolled her eyes. "If you insist, sweetheart, I'm not going to stop you. But you're in charge of washing it out if you do."
"Yeah yeah," she smiled as she fed him and looked up to see everyone beaming. "Sorry, he will cry if he can't eat too."
"It's alright, Santana, I'm sure Rachel wouldn't be interested in flashing around a letcher like Sam," the woman in question gaped for a moment in shock before deciding it was a compliment and grinning, "and it's entirely natural to want to take care of your baby," Lisa pointed out, fixing a plate for her son as Charlie fixed ones for him and his wife. "Teddy, come eat!"
The twelve year old romped over to the table, hopping into a seat and waving at Santana and Rachel only to scowl as his mom hit his hands with wet wipes. "Mom!"
"Don't mom me, young man. If you want to come to the table without washing your hands after playing with a dog, you get wet wiped." Lisa scolded as Charlie tried not to laugh.
"But mooooom!" He whined, trying to get away but she just widened her eyes mockingly at him and didn't stop until he was finally clean to her standards. "You're mean."
"And you were dirty. Deal with it." Lisa gave him a look before turning back to her own plate.
The boy rolled his eyes then smiled at Santana and Rachel. "Hi! I'm Teddy!" He reached across the table to shake hands. "You're friends with my mom and dad?"
Santana shook his hand, "Hey, Teddy." She smiled, "Yeah I guess we are." She looked at him, "I work for Andre. This is my wife and son, Rachel and Aaron."
"Santana, we're not married yet," Rachel chided, smirking at her, "and don't think you're getting out of a wedding just cause you want to call me your wife while I'm still your fiancee."
"She's cute," Teddy grinned at Rachel showing off his dimples. "Wanna marry me instead?"
"Teddy!" Lisa gasped, blushing as her husband started laughing so hard he almost choked on a piece of chicken, prompting Sam to wallop him on the back until he started coughing.
"Sorry, bro," Santana said, "she's mine." She cut up her chicken carefully and only took a bit and mostly just salad.
"Aww," Teddy pouted, picking up a scoop of mac and cheese on his fork, "But I'd be a really good husband. Just like Dad is with Mom. Promise!"
"Sorry, Teddy," Rachel smiled graciously, ignoring the blush spreading over her cheeks as she picked at her salad, "but Santana's the only one for me. I'm sure you'll find a lovely girl someday though."
"Plus, she might be your size but she's much older than you." Santana smiled,"But you're a cute kid." She ate slowly dodging AJ's attempts to steal her food.
Rachel rolled her eyes. "Santana Lopez, I am not kid-sized," she huffed taking a bite of her burger then looking at it with wide eyes. "Oh! This is delicious!"
"My own recipe," Chris smiled. "I'm glad you like it."
"I definitely like it!" Rachel smiled happily, "Santana, you have to try this!" She offered the burger to her fiancee with a grin. "It is far superior to the brands carried at the market, don't you think?"
Santana took a small bite and nodded, "So good, Chris." She smiled before going back to her salad.
Andre smirked, "My man can cook. He's a chef at one of the fancy hotels downtown."
"And only half your age, old man," Chris teased, popping a piece of chicken into Andre's protesting mouth.
"So, Santana, are you gonna start coming to the meetings?" Sam asked curiously, stripping a drumstick with her teeth, "Andre, you did tell her about the meetings, right?"
Santana's brow furrowed, "Meetings? I'm.. I don't have a drinking problem..."
"It's not about drinking," Lisa laughed softly, "but more about being part of the... community. Of people whose... insides don't match their outsides so to speak."
"And there are far too few sexy women there already!" Sam complained with a pout, "Not that I don't like a big strong man every now and then, but these poor eyes miss a pretty face here and there."
"Sam, I will remind you once, she's engaged. To me," Rachel placed a hand on Santana's arm and leaned across the table, glowering at Sam. "So kindly refrain from inveigling my future wife to some... some debauchery with you!"
The taller woman blinked wide eyed, "Sweetheart, while I might flirt, I do not encroach. Santana is your lady and I have no intentions of picking her up off you."
Santana just looked confused, "Like a support group? Is it full of chicks that used to be dudes cause I was in one like that in Ohio but I hated it." she said as she crunched on a carrot. "I don't really know I'm comfortable with too many people knowing..."
"Well, it's more about being around people like us," Sam explained, feeling bad about riling up Rachel. "People who are special and about the people lucky enough to love us."
"What Sam is trying to say is that it's kind of a support group, but also a social group. And there are more men in the group than women, but we're," she gestured between her and Sam, "not the only ones there, I assure you. And, unlike groups I was in in other cities, our families are welcome too."
Charlie set down the bone he'd been stripping clean and wiped his mouth before speaking. "You've got no idea how grateful I was to be able to talk to some of them when Lisa started preparing for her operation. It was a lot more scary than a guy like me should be admitting, to be honest."
"You... you had the operation?" Santana asked softly, "Can... I talk to you about it once day?" she bit her lip and looked at Rachel hesitantly, "We could go sometime... I mean... yeah."
Andre smiled, "I think it would be good for you. You kinda live in a bubble, girls, everyone here will take care of you. I promise."
"Yes, I did," Lisa nodded, leaning into her husband, "and yes, you can. If you need or want to."
Rachel slid her hand over Santana's thigh and squeezed gently, smiling at her supportively. "That sounds wonderful. It'll be nice to meet new people and expand our circle a bit. And I admit, it would be exceptionally nice to have people who understand how amazing it is to love someone as special as my Santana."
Santana nodded and everyone continued to eat with mild chatter. Once everyone was done, she excused herself and took AJ to change his diaper and to set up his playpen in the living room. She took off his little jeans and rubbed his tummy as she sang softly to him, smiling as she heard Rachel talking animatedly to Andre and his boyfriend through the screen door.
"You have a lovely voice," came a soft voice from behind her. Soon it was revealed to be Lisa as the woman came over to sit on the loveseat beside where Santana was playing with AJ on the floor. "And a wonderful little family. I meant what I said earlier. You're very lucky."
"Thank you," Santana smiled honestly as she looked up from her boy, "Yours is lovely too." She said as she cradled AJ in her arms and continued to rub his stomach trying to get him to fall asleep.
Lisa sighed softly as she watched with a gentle smile, "I wish I had thought to save my sperm before going through with transitioning. Then at least Charlie and I could use a surrogate and have a little baby of our own. I've never been interested in women though, so even if I'd remained whole, I wouldn't have been able to create a life like you did. I admit, I'm a little jealous."
"I mean... I've been with a guy," she said softly, "but, It made me feel just like gay dude, you know?" She asked as she looked down at her hands. "Then like... Rachel happened and I guess I've always thought women were attractive but like... she's fucking beautiful." Santana smiled as she looked out the window at where her fiancee was entertaining their host with an involved tale. "Aaron... he, well, happened when I convinced myself that I didn't have a real penis and she thought I was like intersexed or something... I don't even know. We didn't talk much in the beginning."
"Mmhmm," Lisa nodded, "I got the surgery because I wanted to be with Charlie like a woman and I couldn't as long as I still had it. He was always understanding... well, after he came back anyway."
"He left?" she asked softly, "But like... does the surgery... it doesn't, like, make it like a chick... I wanted it for so long and then, Rachel didn't want it so I moved us to here with the baby," she admitted, "I just hate waking up to this thing every day."
"He left," Lisa nodded, "right after I told him that I'd been born in the body of a man and was transitioning. It took him nearly six months before he came back and it was almost two years before it felt like we were anything more than just friends. But the surgery... it's not like the horror stories from the sixties any more. I," she smiled shyly, "I like to think I look fully female now and Charlie certainly doesn't complain about how anything works. But why don't you think Rachel wants you to be fully female?"
"When I told her before.. she freaked out," Santana admitted. "She didn't want me to have it because she thought I wouldn't need her or want her anymore." She sighed and looked at their son. "She cried a lot, and so did I." She looked down, "I just... she didn't know how to love me without my dick... and I don't know how to be okay with it."
"Ah, and now?" Lisa cocked her head to the side and watched Santana interestedly, "I noticed you both have rings and using terms like fiancee and wife... that usually means you're in things for the long haul. Is she still convinced you won't need or want her?"
"I broke down a few weeks ago... She said if it will make me happy, she'll be ok," she whimpered and looked at her son. "I just have no freaking idea anymore."
"Sweetheart, it's up to you to decide what you need to be happy." Lisa reached out and gently squeezed Santana's shoulder. "Just take your time, talk to people and figure out what's best for you. For me that was getting bottom surgery as well as top. For Sam that was just top. Some women just get hormone replacement and that's enough for them. There is no wrong path okay? Whatever is right for you is right. And, I think I'd like to call someone like you and your fiancee as my friends, so if you need to talk..."
Santana nodded, "Maybe... when we're better friends..." She whispered, "I... can you show me what it looks like?" she bit her lip, "I don't really know. I've only seen photos and they're pretty scary."
Lisa's eyes went wide and she blushed with an awkward smile. "And that's why Sam calls us special," she laughed eventually. "Most people wouldn't be so bold as to ask to see a person's special place until they at least had a few drinks in them! But, if it would make you feel better, then it's possible. I have photos from right after my surgery that my doctor took that might be less...personal than a one-on-one viewing that might make both of our partners less than happy, okay?"
Santana nodded, "Thank you... I'm... I'm just scared I'll look like a barbie doll." She pouted and sighed, "I'm also scared it won't work... I'm just... I really, really like sex."
"Well I can definitely tell you that you won't look like a Barbie doll," Lisa reassured her. "And I may be married but if it's not too much coming from an old married woman like me, but I find sex entirely enjoyable with my Charlie now. Far more than I did before."
"I was told I could lose all feeling..." She said, "like... Sam kept hers... Does she still use it?" She asked slightly in wonder, overwhelmed that there were others like her.
Lisa sat back in her seat and regarded Santana for a moment. "Honestly? It's probably possible to lose all feeling. I didn't, but I'm sure there's someone out there with a horror story from going to some cut-rate surgeon or being too proud to ask for help when something wrong happens. Just like there's people out there who have caught on fire during surgeries or been hit by lightening multiple times. You'd have to talk to your doctor to know what your likelihood is. As for Sam," she grimaced slightly, "you'd have to ask her but be aware she will gleefully regal you with her exploits if you do."
"I just... I hated knowing I was man enough to produce a baby." She admitted, " I love him more than life.. But I'm a girl... I shouldn't have been able to..."
"Do you know how many women out there, both born complete and not, wish they could do what you've done, Santana?" Lisa asked curiously. "To hell with man enough, you're a lesbian who managed to have a child with your lover. And you did it together. There was no doctor involved to get Rachel inseminated with a stranger's sperm. Just you and her together and you made a baby that's part of both of you. That's a miraculous thing. Stop worrying so much about how it happened and realize that by it happening you've managed to live the dream of generations of lesbians."
She offered a wry smirk, "As Sam would no doubt say, that probably makes you a super-lesbian, not a man, Santana. And I've heard her call herself that while drunk and she hasn't created children. Thank God."
Santana giggled as she nuzzled her baby's head. "Rachel's amazing though... She's never treated me as anything but a girl and I love her for that," she said softly as she looked at the older woman. "I'm just scared because she has to deal with my crazy and the fact I'm depressed all the damn time."
"That's why you have to open up and talk to a professional, Santana. I'm not a doctor, so all I know is my nearly twelve years of experience more than you and what I went through. But I also didn't really start to transition until I was in high school and you've clearly been at it longer than I too." Lisa shrugged, "I'm sorry I'm probably not much help..."
"It's just... I'm just like it's cool knowing people who are like me." She shrugged and got up and laid the baby down in the crib. "The group that I went to was all like drag queens and dudes who used to be chicks."
"Yes, it does seem there's fewer of us at support groups." Lisa shrugged, patting the other side of the seat as an invitation for Santana to sit down, "Perhaps because there are natural women who view those of us who retain our... equipment, if you will, as a threat." Her lips quirked unpleasantly, "After all, if you have a functioning penis, you must be intending to rape a woman, am I wrong?" She shook her head, "I hope to God you never meet those sorts of ‘feminists', Santana. You, Rachel or Aaron."
"Yeah well.. no one will ever know about it." She shrugged and sat down next to Lisa. "It's my thing and Rachel's.. no one else needs to know so that's good. I'm small and everyone thinks I'm a girl so it's fine."
"Absolutely," Lisa nodded. "Honestly, you come across more as a natural born woman than Sam does and she doesn't have too much trouble. If I had to guess, I'd say the only people who guess you're special like Sam and I either know people like us or have know you for a long time. Am I wrong?"
"Even then, I kept it secret for like my entire high school and grade school education." She shrugged, "I'm just really small and took hormones that postponed puberty."
"And now? You're speaking in the past tense, which, to me, implies that you've stopped postponing that. You still have a very sweet voice," Lisa leaned back into the arm of the love seat and watched Santana. "Unlike some of us old mares who had to get reconstructive surgery for our voices because we didn't start so early," she added, stroking her throat with a wry smirk. "Lots of money went into making this body right."
"I'm working on changing my meds. I still take medications to try to make sure I don't get all gross overnight and whatever, but like it must have stopped working so much to the fact I could produce enough whatever to produce Aaron..." she shrugged, "but like... my dad gave up a lot for me. Not just the surgery and medications... but like having to start over and get divorced and give up everything for me. Plus my boobs were costly as fuck."
"Yes, but they seem very nice," Lisa teased gently. "And as for things not working, maybe you were just intended to have him with Rachel. Maybe you were just so very fertile that the hormones couldn't stop all of your fertility and all it really takes is one after all. Had you ever been checked to see if you were sterile or was it just assumed?"
"Yeah. My dad's a doctor," she said softly. "He and my endocrinologist were like 99% sure it wasn't gonna work because of the medication and I have super low testosterone." She shrugged and looked out the window where Rachel was playing cards with Chris.
"Yes, but things unchecked are things unknown," Lisa pointed out reaching over to lightly tap Santana's nose. "And now you have a son and a woman who not only loves you but treats you as you are, not as part of you is shaped. That doesn't seem so bad."
"It's not. It's just a lot some days. Being eighteen with a kid and school and all of this other crap kinda sucks sometimes." she said, "But you and your husband and son are cute. I'm glad I was able to come today. That we could meet you."
"I'm glad I was able to meet you and your family too, Santana." Lisa smiled at her pulling a card out of her pocket that declared her to be a real estate agent. "Here, it's my business card, but that's my personal cell and email if you ever want to chat outside of social situations."
Santana smiled and put her card into her pocket. "Thanks, I'm gonna go check on Rachel," she said as she stood up and checked on her son one more time before heading outside and plopping down in her fiancee's lap. "Your son's asleep."
Rachel tossed her hand down, cards forgotten in favor of her beautiful lover. Her arms wrapped around Santana's waist and she smiled up at her. "Oh, is he? Did you have a nice chat with Lisa?"
The taller girl nodded and kissed Rae's read. "You having fun? Sam behaving?" she asked softly.
"I don't think you could call that strictly behaving," Rachel groused, nodding towards where the woman had her date astride her lap and was making out with her, "but as long as she stays away from you, I'm fine with her. But I am enjoying myself. I've never really been to many social functions and this seems an admirable example." She smiled up at Santana, unaware of how cloistered she'd just reminded her lover she'd been by the social constructs in school.
"I've never been to one I didn't have to worry about someone grabbing my ass or junk," she said as she kissed Rachel softly, "but whatever... It's what it is."
Rachel kissed back for a moment before pulling away with a smile. "I never realized that high school celebrations were so raucous, Santana. The one we had at my house didn't seem that bad..."
"I was on top of Sam!" she whispered. "Thank God he did nothing for my sex drive."
"I'm very thankful that only I get to be the only one to get the full experience of your sex drive, love," Rachel blushed, "but I'm afraid, my memories of that night are predominately of you yelling you wanted me and getting hit in the face with Brittany's bra while staring slightly too fixedly at you after..."
"That was totally part of the song!" she exclaimed, "I was just singing along while you and Blaine vocally fucked! Though Kurt's face was priceless the entire night."
Rachel laughed, "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but no, it's not."
Santana pouted, "Yes, it is."
Andre came over and sat next to his boyfriend with a smile, "I told you they were cute."
"Mmhmm," Chris agreed, "they're so young though..."
"It's definitely not," Rachel teased, leaning up to kiss her softly.
"They're not that much younger than you, smartypants." Andre pointed out, wrapping an arm around his boyfriend's shoulders. "It's young love. I hope it lasts for their sakes."
"Hey! Just cause you're a cougar doesn't mean I'm still a teenager." He smiled as he slid closer to his boyfriend. "I'm 29. I'm like ten years older than them," he pouted as he watched the teenagers. "But I hope so too... I don't think they'd make it without each other."
"Babe, I'm a fox not a cougar," Andre pouted, kissing his cheek. "And I've seen more of those girls than you. They're stronger than you think. But," he smiled at the girl he was starting to think of as his protege, "I agree that they're stronger together."
"Mmhmm," Chris said, "and they have a very cute baby." He teased.
Santana watched Sam and her date while she rested her head on Rachel's shoulder. "It's crazy that she can get so many people to be with." She pondered, "I just don't think I'd ever be that okay to be with random people, or trust that they wouldn't freak."
"What? Who, Sam?" Rachel glanced over at the woman still making out in public with a deliberate eyeroll, "I believe it takes considerably looser morals than you and possibly a lower standard in partners for sexual congress."
She tried to tell herself she wasn't worried about Santana possibly straying, but when it was fairly obvious there were definitely people out there who loved people like her fiancee and were far more attractive than her own modest offerings... Well, it was difficult. She tightened her arms slightly around Santana's waist and offered her bravest smile. Santana loved her, she told herself. She wanted to marry her. She'd both asked and accepted Rachel's own proposal. But the girl couldn't help the tiny frisson of fear that shivered down her spine and said she was only with her because she thought she was special for loving her.
Santana shrugged, "I guess I'm lucky because I found you." She said as she rested her head on Rachel's shoulder.
"Yeah," Rachel whispered, hugging her close and not wanting to let go, "but I think I'm the lucky one..."
"We're both lucky," she smiled as she leaned in to kiss her fiancee.