Trusting You to Catch Me - Chapter Six
Title: Trusting You to Catch Me
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 37,639
Spoilers: Everything up to On My Way and then deviating from there with minor Big Brother references.
Pairing: Santana/Quinn, Brittany/Santana/Quinn/Rachel friendship, mentions of Brittany/Santana, some Finn/Rachel (not positive)
Summary: Following her accident, Quinn experiences the gamut of emotion: denial to acceptance to healing and everything in between. But through it all are her friends patiently helping her with caring and friendship and maybe more.
Warnings (highlight to read): eating disorders, severe accident recovery, graphic sex, verbal abuse, minor violence, family issues, cheating, body image issues
Chapter 6
Quinn rolled off the bus behind Artie. She was nervous. Santana and Rachel were on their senior skip day to Cedar Point that Artie talked her out of going on. She flexed her fingers around the wheels of her chair as he turned to her. "Artie? Where are we?"
"Just a place where people like us come to have fun," he smiled at her before turning to wheel towards the park. "Come on, you'll have a blast."
Like us? She thought as she worried her lip, "Artie, I'm not... I'm still healing," she warned as she slowly followed him.
He laughed, "I'm not expecting you to do a three-sixty on the halfpipe, Quinn. I just want to show you the place and introduce you to the others."
She sighed and followed, "Okay..." She said as she came up beside him and watched the other kids in chairs, or with missing limbs skate around.
"See?" he smiled, pulling a couple of helmets out of his backpack and strapping one on before handing her the other. "It's fun!" With a happy whoop, he pushed off to roll down a ramp into the park.
She held the helmet in her lap as she watched him. She rolled nervously around the edge, dodging the kids rolling around her.
"Come on!" He waved at her from the bottom, grinning up at her, "It's fun! You don't have to do any tricks, just roll down!"
She found the lowest ramp and made sure to keep her back straight as she rolled down. "I don't want to hurt my back again."
"Don't be ridiculous," he smiled, reassuring her. "That's what your brace is for and there's a back to your chair."
"I guess..." she said nervously, "What should I do?"
"Just," he shrugged, grinning, "roll around and have fun. See how we enjoy ourselves."
"How you enjoy yourself." Quinn reminded him, "I'm not going to be like this forever."
"Whatever," he shrugged. "You're like this right now. Just loosen up and have some fun."
Just then a text came from Brittany. Hey, Q! Wanna hang out? Erybdy else gone 2 CP. :(
Quinn looked at her phone, Artie took me to his skate park :( Would rather hang out w/u.
The skatepark? :( Want me 2 come get u?
"Quinn, what are you doing? Come on!" he waved at her with a grin.
Come hang out w/me? She typed quickly before wheeling over to him, "Sorry had a text."
Come 2 get u. U shouldnt b there w ur back.
He chuckled, "Girls and their phones. Constant contact. Come on, I want you to try this," he gestured at the set of slopes in front of him. "Just watch me and I'll show you." Saying that he pushed off, raising his hands over his head as he rolled down one slope, up over the top of the next and down it before rolling to a stop on the far side. "Come on, it's fun!"
"I don't think I should!" She called down to him, "I think... It's too fast..."
"You can do it!" He called back, "I believe in you! It's fun! Really!"
"I'm going to hurt myself," she said warily, not noticing the kid coming up behind her at high speed that would most likely push her chair.
"No you're not! Just come on!" He waved at his friends, beckoning them to give her the nudge to get her going, not seeing the familiar blue sedan that belonged to his girlfriend pulling up in the skatepark's lot behind him.
"Artie!" She screeched as she clutched onto the arm rests on the chair once the kid behind her pushed her. The chair propelled down the ramp causing the girl to have tears running down her cheeks by time she reached the end.
"Oh my gosh! Quinn!" Brittany's voice rang out across the skatepark over the echo of her car door slamming shut as she vaulted over the guardrail keeping motorized vehicles out. Sliding down the ramp she caught the girl's chair as it rolled into her. "Are you okay?" she asked, dropping to her knees and looking up anxiously at her.
"Oh my god," She sobbed, "I didn't fall... I didn't wanna go down!" She cried as she reached for Brittany.
"It's okay, sweetie. I'm here. We're gonna go home now, okay?" Brittany murmured, hugging her and wiping the tears away.
"Brittany, what are you doing here?" Artie frowned rolling over.
"What are you doing here?" she snapped. "Quinn's hurt! You know that! How could you bring her someplace like this where she could get hurt more?"
"She needs to learn to accept she might never get out of that chair again," he argued. "I was just like her once. Thinking that everything would be okay and I'd get better but look at me!"
"You weren't ever gonna to walk again! The doctors told you that!" Brittany exclaimed, "They told Quinn that she could!" Quinn just clung to Brittany her heart racing from the fear of falling and hurting herself more.
"Don't be ridiculous! She's gotta accept it, Britt," he glared, folding his arms over his chest. "Maybe she'll walk again, maybe she won't but she's gotta come to terms with the fact that she might not. I don't want her to be disappointed like I was."
"Stop trying to get her more hurt!" Brittany exclaimed, "You're lucky it was me that found her and not Santana."
He scoffed, "Like Santana cares about anyone. She's still busy moping cause you came back to me."
Brittany glared at him, "I decided to break up with her to save our friendship... I don't know how much I care about yours." She gave him a pointed glare before pushing Quinn over to her car.
Quinn sniffled and wiped her eyes, "I don't like it here."
"It's okay, we're gonna go home, 'kay?" she murmured, pushing her to the car. "You wanna get some junk food so we can sit around and watch old tv shows? Like Sweet Valley High or Babysitter's Club?"
"Can I have a slushy?" She asked softly as she looked up at Brittany. "Can I stay at your house until Santana and Rachel get back tonight?"
"Only if I can have one too," she grinned, easily picking Quinn up and sliding her into the car before folding the wheelchair up and sliding it in the backseat. "My mom made brownies this morning too. They smell sooo good."
Quinn smiled as she rubbed her face, "Cherry and Blue?" She asked as she looked at Brittany when the blonde got into the car.
"Totally!" Brittany cheered, buckling up and starting the car, "We'll stop at the Seven-Eleven and I'll get chips too. You still like the barbeque kind? Or do you want the ones with like sour cream or cheddar?"
"Whatever you want, Brit." Quinn said as she closed her eyes. "Thank you for coming to get me."
"Oh that's totally no problem," she shrugged, driving away from the skatepark. "We're like besties. I'll always come and get you now that I can drive without my mom and stuff."
"Thanks, I don't think I'll ever be okay to drive again even if my legs start to work," she sighed as she reached up and took the duck beanie baby off the dashboard. "I'm surprised you still have this up." She remarked as she held it. Santana had given the girl the duck as a gift for getting her license and Quinn just assumed that the other blonde would have put it away after they broke up.
"Why?" Brittany sounded confused. "Quackers is my navigator. I totally need him around. And you've got me and Sannie to drive you around, so you like don't even have to worry about driving anymore now. I bet Rachie will help too when she gets her license."
She nodded, "I thought you'd take it down since San give it to you." She sighed and remembered that she couldn't spend time with all of her friends because if the breakup.
"That's silly. Sannie's still my best friend and I love Quackers," she shrugged. "We're just taking a break cause it makes her sad that I said we couldn't be girlfriends anymore."
"Do... You think you'd date her again?" Quinn asked quietly.
Brittany thought about it for a moment then shook her head. "I don't think so. I don't love her enough or in the right way maybe? Anyway, I love her and she's totally my bestest best friend forever and always, but I can't be her girlfriend. I like other people too much to be with just her, you know?"
"Oh," Quinn nodded. "I understand... I just, never mind," she said before looking out the window.
After a little while of driving, Brittany glanced at her and asked softly, "How is she? She won't talk to me anymore... she's eating and stuff right?"
"Does she ever?" Quinn said softly, "She's been very helpful since I got hurt... She's... she's hurting though, Brit. I won't lie to you."
"She'd eat with me," she whispered. "She's gotta eat cause she's all tiny and she'll break if she don't. Coach won't be happy if she breaks, Q..."
"She's smoking again... so hopefully she'll eat when she's high." Quinn sighed, "She'd do anything for you, even if she didn't want too."
"That's not good," Brittany murmured, chewing on her lip. "She's gotta eat, Q. You gotta get her to eat. I don't wanna lose my bestest best friend..."
"You're not going to lose her," Quinn sighed, refusing to think Santana might actually have a problem. "She's just small, she's always been small."
"Yeah, but now she's too small," she shrugged. "She's all super skinny and like boney and stuff. Not like how she was in junior high. I think she's trying too hard to impress Coach."
Quinn sighed, "If it was that bad Coach Sylvester would tell her to stop. She weighs the cheerleaders for a reason. If Santana was too small she would put a stop to it."
"She has," Brittany pointed out. "Remember? She's made Sannie eat before tournaments even when everyone else isn't allowed. But she just eats until Coach is happy and then stops again." She frowned unhappily as she turned towards the 7-11.
"I don't know what I can do... She had salad with me the other day, but she goes home to have dinner with her parents most nights," Quinn sighed, not happy about the extra pressure on her now to manage Santana's weight.
"Oh, she ate with you?" Brittany smiled happily, pulling into the parking lot. "That's awesome. I'm gonna get us our slushies and chips. Be right back."
Quinn sighed and pulled out her phone, How's Cedar Point? She texted to Santana as she waited for Brittany to come back out.
Amazing, but Finchel is annoying and Berry's trying to make me eat like this gigantic sausage! Totally gross! Santana texted back before going back to glaring at the girl with the hot dog in front of her.
"Just have a bit," Rachel pleaded. "You haven't eaten all day and frankly it's worrisome. I assumed you wouldn't want any of my vegan fare, so I took the liberty of procuring this for you. You don't have to finish it, but I'm worried about you."
"That is of questionable origin," Santana sighed, as she readjusted the backwards baseball cap on her head, "It's like caked in grease and probably full of food poisoning."
"I believe it's botulism you're thinking of," Rachel pointed out, "and if you don't want this, fine, I'm sure Finn will eat it, but you should share my vegetable sticks then. I know precisely their origin and we can procure you a non-vegan dip if you'd like."
Santana looked at the carrots and nodded, "Feed the death tube to the walking garbage can," She snarked, "He's already pushing the weight limit on the roller coasters."
"I don't deny that he's... mildly corpulent, but you really shouldn't speak that way about him to me where he can hear," Rachel reminded her, handing her the carrot sticks. "Here. I have celery and peanut butter as well if you'd prefer that."
"I'll wait until you get rid of that," She looked at the hot dog nervously, the stench making her nauseous.
"Certainly," Rachel nodded, jogging over to hand the hot dog to Finn with a smile. He accepted with a lopsided grin, leaning down for a kiss that she only barely avoided having seen him eating a hamburger mere minutes before.
"That's disgusting." Santana shuddered, "How does he keep eating like that?"
Rachel came back over, only just catching the end. "I have no idea, but he may want to rethink his diet if he intends on staying with me. And his cooking skills," she shuddered. "He fed me something that tasted so very like meat that I was very ill for the next two days before our, well... I won't speak of that before we eat."
Santana looked at her and shook her head. "Yeah, please don't," she said as she took a sip from her water bottle. She stretched her arms out and let the sun warm her skin. "Sucks that Q didn't want to come."
"It does seem unusual," Rachel agreed, opening the bags of veggie sticks. "After all, this is a handicap friendly location and I'm sure we could have worked together to allow her to partake of the rides with us."
"It's fucking roller-boy's influence," she mumbled. "He's trying to cripple her... I swear to God after the ramp thing I think he's trying to make her more hurt so she never walks again."
"I would hope that's not the case," she murmured, offering Santana her choice of vegetables. "That would be most unfortunate if it was. I do believe that perhaps Artie shouldn't be left unsupervised with her after the ramp incident though."
"Yeah," Santana nodded as she put her sunglasses back on, "Is your keeper going to be angry that you're chilling with me and not him?"
"Not if he knows what's good for him," she replied mildly. "Please, Santana, have some of these vegetables. They're good for you and you need to eat. Please?"
Santana leaned over and took a celery stick, because it was low in calories and a piece of cucumber. She took a small bite and chewed it thoroughly, "Happy?"
"More than I was when you hadn't eaten anything, yes," she frowned, "but not nearly happy enough. Why not eat more? You're thinner than I am and I'm low in weight for my height due to my vegan diet..."
"First of all, not hungry. The sun and the rollercoasters make me not want to eat. Secondly, the food here is disgusting and overpriced and third, I'm not thinner than you are."
"You most certainly are," Rachel grimaced. "I currently weigh approximately one hundred and ten pounds though that fluctuates by about three pounds depending on my activity levels. At my lowest I weighed just above one hundred. How much did you weigh at your last weigh in?"
Santana looked down, "I told you already, flyers can't be over ninty-eight pounds."
"See? You weigh less than me so you're thinner than me. Especially since you're at least an inch or two taller as well," she shrugged. "I understand your desire to be a flyer, but there's no need to kill yourself over it. Your talent alone is enough to make up for eating a little every now and then." She smiled encouragingly, holding out the veggie sticks again.
"I eat," she said, "I'm not crazy like Rebecca Goodrich," she scoffed, she was referring to a girl who was a year ahead of them who was removed from school to go to a special school when she collapsed in Cheerios and everyone found out she was anorexic.
"I never said you were," Rachel pointed out mildly. "I just would be happier if you'd eat a little more is all."
"If I puke on the ‘coaster... I hope I puke on you," Santana mumbled as she took another cucumber.
"It wouldn't be the first time I've been vomited upon," she reminded Santana with a wry grin. "At least this will involve less regurgitated alcohol."
"That's what you think," She winked, "God... I wanna smoke. Fucking laws," she mumbled as she kicked her feet against the ground.
"If you are referring to marijuana," Rachel winced but took a breath and pushed on, "it's likely best that you can't here. Doubtless you'd have Noah insisting on sharing and he is... ungainly when under the influence of such substances."
"He always mooches, but I'd take a cigarette if I didn't think the rent a cop would yell at me."
"Perhaps you could indulge upon the ride back home from school?" she suggested. "If you don't mind giving me a ride, we can take Quinn dinner perhaps? My fathers are out and I'd really rather not eat alone."
"Yeah, that's cool," She said, "I'll just smoke once we get to Q's then... I spend Fridays with her anyway since I can't... I mean, since I have nothing else to do."
"That must be nice," she smiled as they got into line with everyone else. "I've never really had the sort of friends where I knew I'd be welcome to visit as a regular thing before. It's quite new and exciting really. Though I certainly wish the circumstances that caused it were decidedly different."
"Not like she can kick us out anyway," Santana said, "but normally... it was Brit, Q and I just passing out after Cheerios... but now I don't talk to her and Q is stuck in bed after school."
"Well, I hope I'm not overstepping myself, but," she smiled shyly, "you may of course consider yourself welcome in my home whenever you'd like."
"I've never actually been to your house more than once," Santana pointed out. "And I doubt your bouncer would be okay with it."
"I'll give you directions," Rachel shrugged. "And I am not his property. My fathers like you and he has no say on who I invite into their home which is also my own until I move out. So, you may consider yourself welcome."
"Thanks, I guess," she shrugged, and stopped after two bites of her veggie stick. She closed her eyes and tried to calm her body's urge to reject the food.
"Santana," she whispered after a little while as they inched slowly forward, "I'd just like to say thank you. For... for talking to me and encouraging me to go and see Quinn despite Finn's protests and my own fears. I needed the push. So... thanks."
"Quinn's sick... and she likes you so I make shit happen," She shrugged and looked over at the other girl. "I... I'm gonna walk okay? I don't really wanna stand still."
"We're almost to the ride, are you sure?" Rachel asked uncertainly.
"I just need some air," Santana said with a smile, "Trouty!" She called as Sam walked by, "Take my spot and go on the ride with her?" She smiled sweetly at him.
"Just for you ladies," he said as he swapped out with her. Santana briskly walked off and he turned to Rachel, "I'm glad she's friends with you now. She's misunderstood but a good girl none the less." He smiled dopely, "Can I escort you on the ride?"
"Certainly," she smiled. "And I quite agree with your analysis of Santana. She needs friends and I'm happy to be considered one. Shall we?" she gestured towards the front of the line."
He offered his arm to her and walked with her onto the ride.
Santana drove up to Brittany's house. Her car smelled of Breadstix's take out and her hands gripped the steering wheel as she pulled into the driveway. She turned off the car and nervously looked at Rachel. "You should head in. Take the food and tell them I'm gonna blaze a bit before coming in to say hi to Quinn."
"You'll stay for dinner?" Rachel asked as she got out of the car and grabbed the bag of food.
"Maybe, let me see how I feel in a bit okay?" She exhaled as she reached into the glove compartment and grabbed her bowl and a baggie of weed. "They're waiting for you." Rachel nodded and headed into the house as Santana set her chair back and packed the pipe before lighting it up.
Rachel headed up to the door to knock with the bag wrapped in her arms. When Brittany opened the door with a huge smile, her eyes widened and she tried to discourage her, but she still was nearly bowled over by the overly exuberant greeting.
"Rachie!" she cried, hugging her with only a little care for the bag between them. "I missed you guys so much today but now you're here! This is so awesome!"
"Hi, Brittany," Rachel murmured with a shy smile. "We stopped and picked up food for dinner, but Santana said she was going to - blaze I think? - before coming inside to say hi to Quinn."
"Really?" Brittany glanced out at the car where Santana's face was dimly illuminated by her lighter as she relit the bowl. "She shouldn't do that stuff, but I'm glad she came. Come on in, Q and I have been watching the Babysitters' Club and pigging out all day."
Rachel headed in the house and put the food on the kitchen counter before following Brittany to where Quinn was laying on the couch. "Hey Rachel," Quinn said as she looked up at foot steps. "How was Ceder Point?"
"Good, but it would have been better with you though," she smiled, coming over to sit on the floor beside the couch as Brittany walked in. "We missed you. It just wasn't right being there without all of the seniors from Glee."
"I should have gone, but I got to spend the day with Britt... so it's all good." Quinn smiled, "It's been a good day, right B?"
Brittany nodded as she looked out the window at the car in the driveway, "Yes, we had lots of fun."
Rachel hopped Santana wouldn't kill her after this, but she smiled at Brittany. "Why don't you go talk to her?" she asked softly. "I think perhaps the two of you need to. She's really hurting right now."
"I don't like it when she smokes, it smells funny," Brittany complained as she turned her attention back to her company.
"Britt... You know she can't run away when she's doing that. This might be a good chance." Quinn said softly, "Go at least try."
Brittany looked down at the floor for a moment before nodding slowly. "Okay. You'll be okay with Rachie?" she asked, looking at Quinn. "No fighting?"
"No fighting," Quinn rolled her eyes, "Go and talk to the grumpy stoner."
Brittany smiled and hopped up, "Thanks, you two!" Slipping outside, her happy bounce slowed until she was almost creeping when she came to the passenger side of Santana's car. Since the window was closed, she took a deep breath and opened the door slipping inside the smoky car. "Hi, Sannie," she whispered. "Please don't be mad I'm here..."
Santana coughed as she realized that she now had company. "Britt?" She coughed before turning her car on and rolling down the windows. "Why are you here?" She asked as she tried to ventilate her vehicle so she wouldn't get Brittany high. "You shouldn't breathe this shit."
"I know," she whispered, trying to breathe as little as possible with her eyes watering from the smoke, "but I missed you and you've been avoiding me."
She growled as she turned on the air in the car and worked to clear the smoke from the cab. "Don't breathe..." Santana stated before giving up. "Fuck it. Get out," she demanded and quickly turned off the car and got out.
Brittany climbed out and coughed a couple of times, rubbing at her eyes. "Please don't be mad," she whispered, looking over at Santana with watery eyes. "I just... I missed my best friend..."
Santana moved to the grass and flopped down, "You know better than get in the car when I'm doing that... It's not good for you. You have asthma."
"Yeah, but you wouldn't have talked to me otherwise," she murmured, moving to sit on the grass beside her.
Santana rubbed her eyes, and then she covered her face with her hands. "It's hard... I told you. It's too hard."
"But I still need you, Sannie," she murmured, her face crumbling. "You're my best friend. I'm sorry I hurt you. I never meant to."
"You... you lied to me," Santana's voice cracked as she spoke, "You lied to my face every day. You lied about loving me. You lied about wanting to just be with me, you lied about me being the person you loved more than anything."
"No I didn't!" she almost yelled, keeping her voice down at the last moment. "No, I didn't. I do love you. I wanted to be with you. You're the most important person in my whole world. I'm just... I'm not good enough for you. I can't be the girlfriend you need," she whimpered softly. "I can't be the girlfriend you deserve and I know that now."
"You are! You're the only one I want... I'll take care of you, I'll do anything you want," She said softly as she closed her eyes as she let her hands fall down into the grass. "I'll stay in Lima and we can be together."
"I don't want that for you, Sannie," Brittany insisted, rolling on her side so she could look at her best friend and ex-girlfriend. "I don't want you to have to take care of me all the time or stay in Lima just cause I am. I want you to be amazing cause I know you are but you don't yet. I want you to invite me to your graduation and all that."
"But... I want to stay here with you," she sniffled and rolled onto her side too and looked at Brittany. She looked into her eyes for the first time since they broke up, "I love you."
"You shouldn't," she reached out and took Santana's hand. "You're so much bigger than this town, Sannie. You're way more awesome than they know how to handle. You're like... New York awesome or like... like Houston awesome. You gotta go where you can be happy and be you and your dad or anybody else can't say boo about it."
Santana closed her eyes. "You made me happy," she shivered and she tried to breathe at the feel of Brittany's skin against hers.
"Yeah, but I made you totally sad and upset too," she murmured, reaching over to brush away a stray lock of hair. "And I shouldn't do that as your girlfriend. Your awesomeness needs to be a secret here and I totally suck at secrets. Rachie's like way better than me and she totally told about Q's baby being Puck's. You wouldn't ever be happy here, Sannie. I know that and so do you."
The brunette looked down and then back up before she leaned over and pressed a kiss to Brittany's lips. She slid closer to press her body against her former lover's.
Brittany sighed softly into the kiss and returned it. There was no great fire like when they'd first gotten together, only the familiar comforting warmth of old friends reconnecting. She cupped Santana's cheek, long fingers lightly brushing against her ear as she kissed her, but after a few moments she pulled away with a sad smile. "I'm Lima, Sannie. You deserve the world."
"I don't want it," she cried softly, "Please don't leave me alone."
"You're not alone, silly," she smiled at her, fingers lightly caressing her cheek. "You've got Q and Rachie and you'll always have me as your best friend. I just... I'm not good enough to follow you and I don't want to ever hold you back."
"I'm never going to be good enough," She said softly, sitting up and hugging her eyes and trying to wipe her eyes and disconnect. She grabbed the bowl that was still with her and lit it. "Just... It's not going to go back to how it was with us."
"Can we still be friends though?" Brittany asked softly, sitting up and hugging her knees so she could rest her cheek against them. "I really need to know if we can still be friends..."
She took a hit and nodded, "We... we can.. I just need to learn to forget that I love you." She sniffled, "I'll learn."
"I'm sorry I couldn't be what you needed," Brittany sniffed. "I feel super dumb right now. I totally messed stuff up, didn't I."
"No." Santana said quickly, "You're not... this isn't you. It's me. I know better than to let my emotions win." She smiled fakely, "See? I'll be okay."
"You're lying," she smiled wanly. "You always lie when you think it'll make me happy, but I know you too good. My heart hurts, Sannie," she whispered. "It's mad at me for letting you go, but I'm not a little kid anymore and I gotta do what's right for you too."
Santana nodded, "No matter what.... I'm proud of you and my heart hurts too... but it's gonna be fine." She tried to seem strong for Brittany, "We should go inside. Dinner and whatever."
"It's okay to be sad, Sannie," she murmured, standing and reaching out a hand for her friend. "I'm sad. I just needed to give you space to be you. To really be you with nothing holding you back here."
Santana took it and stood up. She sniffled and nodded before going and putting her pipe back in the car and heading back inside the house. "I'm going to wash up," she whispered and avoided the looks from Rachel and Quinn before scampering off into the bathroom.
"Is everything okay?" Rachel asked softly as Brittany came in wiping her eyes.
She shrugged and shook her head sadly. "No, but maybe it can be someday, you know? I'm just... totally not what she needs. I can't hold her here. It's not fair." She turned blue eyes bright with tears to the girls, "I let her go cause I love her too much to keep her here in Lima and make her small when she deserves to be super big."
Quinn opened her arms and let Brittany crawl into her embrace. "Don't worry, Brit," she said softly, "Everything will be okay. You're gonna kick ass and get all famous for your dancing and San and I will be there cheering you on, because that's what friends do." She cooed and smoothed the blonde's hair back.
Rachel watched and slipped away to knock at the bathroom door. "Santana?"
"I'm... hold on." She said softly before blowing her nose and coming back out. "What, Berry?"
"Are you okay?" she asked softly. "Brittany's upset and I thought you might like an excuse to not go in there too quickly. Want to help me set up dinner in the kitchen?"
"Yeah," She said as she ran her hands over her face. "That's fine." She took a breath and followed Rachel into the kitchen. "Everything will be fine."
"Bullshit," she muttered relatively calmly. "You've had your heart broken by your best friend. Everything is anything but fine." She started dividing portions onto the plates she'd found with a little searching. "I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you need anything and I'm certain that Quinn is as well."
"You should take care of Brittany," Santana swallowed, "I'm fine..." She lied, "I don't need to talk about my feelings and all that crap."
"Who said anything about talking about feelings?" Rachel asked, handing her a plate of mostly plain green salad without dressing and a couple of breadsticks. "I was merely offering my services as a distraction. Talking is not required if you don't wish it."
Santana looked at the food. "I'm not hungry," she said. "Smoking makes me not hungry."
"Nonsense," Rachel scoffed. "According to Quinn indulging in marijuana increases the appetite, which is in accordance with my research on the subject when I found out you indulge so frequently. I'm not making you eat the pasta we got for Quinn and Brittany. Just a little salad and the breadsticks you are infamous for liking."
"Fine, we need to feed Britt and Roll-Along," Santana said as she brought Quinn's plate out to her and Rachel brought Brittany's. She sat down on the chair almost out of the line of vision of the other girls. "What are you watching?"
Quinn smiled at her attempt at normality, "Babysitters' Club unless you want me to change it to something else?"
"No, it's cool. Eat your food." Santana said, "We gotta drug you up soon."
"You too," she pointed with a teasing smirk as she let Rachel help her lean up with pillows supporting her so she could eat, "though no fun pills for you."
Rachel settled down at the coffee table between where Brittany was and where Santana was and popped a cherry tomato into her mouth. "I've never heard of Babysitters' Club. What's it about?"
"You've never heard of it?" Brittany sounded shocked.
"No," she drew out the word confusedly. "Should I have?"
"I'm always drugged," Santana shot back to Quinn as she took a sip of her water, "But it's about some middle school bitches who babysit. They are like stuck at 13 forever."
"Wow," Rachel murmured, picking at her salad, "that sounds, um... fascinating."
"It is!" Brittany grinned, "You should totally watch it, Rachie!"
Rachel smiled bewilderedly before looking at Santana. "Help?" she whispered under her breath.
"Just close your eyes and think of better places," Santana shrugged, as she pushed her food around the plate. Quinn watched her out of the corner of her eye and was waiting to see if the girl would actually eat or just play with her food.
"How very helpful," Rachel muttered dryly, turning back to her food.