Trusting You to Catch Me - Chapter Seven
Title: Trusting You to Catch Me
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 41,410
Spoilers: Everything up to On My Way and then deviating from there with minor Big Brother references.
Pairing: Santana/Quinn, Brittany/Santana/Quinn/Rachel friendship, mentions of Brittany/Santana, some Finn/Rachel (not positive)
Summary: Following her accident, Quinn experiences the gamut of emotion: denial to acceptance to healing and everything in between. But through it all are her friends patiently helping her with caring and friendship and maybe more.
Warnings (highlight to read): eating disorders, severe accident recovery, graphic sex, verbal abuse, minor violence, family issues, cheating, body image issues
Chapter 7
Brittany pulled up outside of the rehab facility just as Santana was walking around her CRV with Quinn's wheelchair. Parking, she hopped out and bounced over with a cheerful wave, her bag slung over her shoulder.
"Hi, Sannie! Hi, Q!" she waved. "Ready for the pool?"
"Yeah..." Quinn said nervously, "I'm not sure how much good this is going to do. I can't really use my legs..." She said awkwardly.
"Suck it up, Q. Brit won't let you drown." Santana said as she helped girl out of the car and settled her into the wheelchair. "Right, Brit?"
"Totally," Brittany smiled. "And this is so cool for letting you start moving your legs without any weight on 'em. My dance teacher says swimming is like being in space without getting on a rocket. Isn't that awesome?"
Quinn nodded and looked nervously at the pool through the glass doors once Santana rolled her inside. "Are you gonna change, Brit? Um... Santana helped me with my suit on earlier so I just need to take off this." She motioned to the zip sweatshirt and track pants.
"I got my suit on under my clothes," she smiled, patting her stomach. "So all you gotta do is trust me not to drop you as we get in the pool and I'll totally help you change after unless you want Sannie to. Are you gonna swim with us, Sannie?"
"Uh," She shifted nervously, "I don't know."
"You don't have to," Quinn murmured, reaching up to squeeze her hand where it rested on the handle of her chair. "But can you stay to give me a ride home?"
"Yeah, I have some homework I need to do anyways," Santana said softly as she looked at Quinn. "I'll be over there if you need me," she said simply before she took her backpack and walked over to the benches on the outside of the glass around the pool.
Brittany watched her walk away with a sad pout for a moment before turning to Quinn. "Do you want help getting out of those clothes?" she asked curiously as she peeled off her t-shirt revealing toned abs and a pink bikini top.
Quinn blushed and looked away. "I got it," she said as she unzipped her jacket. She looked down at her own body and how it was still marred by green bruises and her once toned abs had diminished in strength for lack of use. She carefully pushed at her pants then looked up to Brittany when she couldn't get them down, "Help?"
Brittany finished wiggling out of her shorts and stuffed them in her bag with her t-shirt and sneakers before coming over. "Sure. Want me to take them off you or just like hold you up so you can?"
"Just help me up?" She asked softly as she looked at her, "I just can't pull and push myself up at the same time."
"Sure," she agreed with an easy smile, moving behind her to get a grip on her waist and lift her up so she could push her pants off. "Want me to like carry you into the pool by the steps or lower you in? Cause you're so gonna be able to move once the water's making your weight go away."
"Will I be able to stand?" She asked, "I don't want to sink to the bottom."
"I'll totally put you in where it's deeper and you can just hold onto the side and let your legs like hang if you want," Brittany offered. "Then you just gotta wait for me to get in and we can start playing to warm up before your therapist shows up and stuff. Sound good?"
"Okay," She said, trying to hide her nerves. "I just... I can do this." She nodded and held onto Brittany as they moved over to the pool. "Is it warm?"
"I don't know, I just got here," she shrugged. "But it's usually warm. I think they put a blanket on it."
She nodded and held her arms around Brittany's neck and looked over her shoulder at Santana curled up reading. "Did the skate park... are you an Artie okay after that day?"
"Don't worry about that," Brittany reassured her. "Artie was being totally dumb taking you there." She carefully lowered Quinn into the water and made sure she got a good grip on the side before slipping into the pool herself. "He knows better than to take someone who just got hurt there. I'm so not happy with him right now."
Quinn hugged the wall and waited for Brittany to come over to her. "I went, I knew better than that," she said as she shivered slightly. "Santana said you do this a lot? When you get hurt dancing?"
"Uh-huh, I've torn stuff in my legs and this totally helped me," she smiled at Quinn as she swam over. Once she reached her and got her feet on the ground, she reached out and slid her hands carefully around Quinn's waist. "Okay, just like... hold onto me until you get used to how it feels. You're totally getting feeling back in your legs and stuff, right?"
"I don't know... I can't really remember what it feels like to move my legs," she pouted as she held onto Brittany. "What if they never move again?"
"That's silly thinking, Q," Brittany reassured her, moving back away from the ledge. "If they don't then Rachie and Sannie will help you until I can graduate and come help too. But they're gonna so why think about silly stuff like that?"
She shrugged, "Hard to think about it being okay. But, you're right. They'll work again, I'll just work hard to make sure they do."
"Yay!" Brittany cheered, letting her hands slide down to grip Quinn's hips. "Okay, so just like... swim with your arms and let your legs get used to being down and not in a chair. We gotta get you all nice and warm before the therapist shows up."
Quinn nodded and started to move her arms. She started to move with Brittany's help and her legs began to sway in the water with the swimming Quinn was doing.
"See?" she grinned at her. "You can so do this. Want me to let go so you can try swimming on your own for a bit? I'll totally be right here to help if you need it."
"I can try," Quinn said as she paddled her arms. She worked on just keeping her head above water as she worked her arms through pool. It was hard and she was getting tired but she was doing it, by herself.
"Yay! You're so doing it!" Brittany cheered from a couple feet away - close enough to grab her if something went wrong, but far enough away that Quinn knew she was moving by herself.
"Wow, that's pretty good!" A slow clap brought the attention of the three girls to the young woman in a one-piece suit as she came out of the locker rooms with a clipboard that had a china marker and couple sheets of laminated paper on it. She grinned at the two girls in the pool, tucking a slightly curly strand of auburn hair back behind her ear. "Hi there, Brittany. This session isn't for you again is it?"
"Hi, Andi!" Brittany waved with a smile before moving to catch Quinn when she faltered. "Nope, not this time. Quinn's legs don't work cause her back got hurt, but you can fix her right?"
Andi put her bag down and sat on the edge of the pool and looked at the girls, "I can try," She smiled as Brittany brought the blonde over to the ledge, "Hey, Andi Myers." She smiled, "I got assigned to be your hydrotherapist from your physio."
Quinn reached up with a slightly sore arm to shake her hand. "I'm Quinn Fabray. It's nice to meet you. That's my friend, Santana," she nodded at the bleachers where Santana was watching with a sign of faint interest, "she helps too."
"That's cool," Andi nodded, giving Santana a smile and a wave. "Cute friend. So, how are you liking the pool?"
Brittany raised her eyebrow and moved away to swim a bit as Quinn talked to Andi. "Santana?" Quinn asked as she looked over at her dark haired friend who was back to reading before looking at her new instructor. "The pool is good... I like being able to move by myself."
"Yeah, that's what a lot of people say," she agreed, grabbing a vest from the side of the pool before slipping into the water, her clipboard on the edge of the pool. "You can swim to work out more often than your sessions if you'd like, just make sure you have someone who can help if you get too fatigued, okay?"
"Sounds good," Quinn smiled, "Do you think this will help? Make my legs better and stronger? I want to walk at graduation."
"Can't hurt, right?" she suggested. "Now, tell me about your range of feeling and if you have any motion in your legs, feet or toes okay?"
"I can move my toes now," she said. "And I've been working on moving my ankles when I'm in bed."
"Really?" Andi smiled, "That's better than I was told! This is excellent. The fact that you're getting movement back is a really good sign, Quinn. Now, do you understand the purpose of hydrotherapy? Just a basic idea will do."
"I don't really know," Quinn said embarrassed that she didn't know. "That I don't put weight on my legs as I work them?"
"That's really basic, but pretty much," she grinned. "It also provides resistance so that you're building muscle at the same time. Well rebuilding in your case. First, let's get this," she grabbed the vest flotation device she'd picked up earlier and started to help Quinn into it, "vest on you to help you float so you can focus on your legs and not keeping your head above water, okay?"
"Oh, thank god," Quinn sighed as she rested her arms. "My arms aren't that strong anymore."
Andi laughed, fastening the vest up, "Don't worry, they'll get there again. In fact, I want you to swim without a floatation device for at least a bit every time you swim to build that strength back up. For now, we're going to focus on stretching and working towards seeing if we can't get some kicks out of you. Sound good?"
"Alright," She said, "I can handle that. We should be fine with my pain, I took a painkiller before and I have a high tolerance for pain, luckily."
"Okay, nope, nuh-uh," Andi shook her head. "Next time, take the painkiller after alright? We need to know that we're not hurting you by pushing too hard. Yes, you'll probably hurt more, but it'll be better to know your limits before medicating, alright?"
"But," she pouted, "I don't want it to hurt..."
"I know. But if we don't know your baseline, we could really hurt you and set you back and we don't want that either," she pointed out. "Since you took them this time, how about I just show you some of the things you'll be working with, okay?"
"Alright," Quinn said as she worked on getting her float level.
"Just relax," Andi assured her, guiding her over to where an underwater treadmill was set up in the corner of the pool. "Once you get some real movement, we'll be working here to build your muscles back up. Possibly even with ankle weights. That's what you've got to look forward to. Look good?"
"That's crazy," She said softly, "Underwater treadmill, that's strange. But, like... you really think I'll be able to do this? To walk again?" She asked as she looked to Andi.
"Absolutely," she nodded with a confident smile. "It might take a while, but nothing in your chart said anything about irreversible damage. Your body just needs to heal and now that it's most of the way there, we're going to start making sure it heals the right way. I've got faith you'll walk again, Quinn."
"Thats nice to hear from someone who doesn't have to say it." Quinn stated as she looked over at Brittany who was swimming at the other end of the pool and Santana who was watching the session from the bench.
"I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it. As long as you're willing to put the work in, we'll get places," she smiled.
Getting Quinn out of the pool with a little assistance from Brittany and Santana holding the chair still was a fairly simple process as Andi instructed the injured girl on how to get herself out. As Santana pushed her towards the locker room followed by Brittany, Quinn was debating with herself as to if she should get changed or not. Brittany hopped ahead to pull the door open before heading towards the showers, undoing her top as she went.
"Q, you're gonna shower, right?" she tossed back, unaware of how the girl blanched slightly at the idea of using a public shower while in her chair.
"Uh. I don't think so," She said, "I can shower at home when I get back. I have to use the bench, I just want to get out of the bathing suit and dry my hair."
"Oh, I guess Sannie can help with that," she called, turning the water on to clean the chlorine off her body.
Quinn looked up at Santana with an awkward smile, "I think I can handle it if you don't want to."
"Helped you get into it," she said as she wheeled her over to lockers off in the corner. "Alright, so like we did getting you into it," she said as she leaned over and picked Quinn up so she could hold onto her neck. "Yoga pants and underwear," she said as she put Quinn on the bench. "You think you wanna try pulling your drawers on?" she smiled as she unpacked the clothing.
"Yes," she whispered with a blush as she steadied herself on the bench before working at the ties holding up the sides of her bottoms. "I'm not nearly high enough to handle your hands on my panties twice in one day," she muttered, trying to keep her voice low enough that Santana wouldn't hear.
Santana just helped Quinn by lifting her up off the bench so she could pull them down under her robe. She worked on drying Quinn's hair with a towel while the blonde dried her body, "Here," She said as she handed her the boyshorts once she was dry. "Put those on and I'll help ya dry your legs."
Quinn nodded and tugged them up her legs. "Help me up?" she whispered, looking up at Santana.
She nodded and pulled Quinn up and held her as she pulled on the panties. "Junk all covered?" She asked as she tapped Quinn's butt playfully.
"Yes," she murmured as she finished pulling them up. "I'm good. Thanks."
"Alright," she said as she helped her back down and started drying her legs. "Grab that lotion? The pool will make your skin dry."
Quinn leaned over grabbed it before straightening back up and handing it to her. "Thanks for coming today, San," she murmured, "I know Brittany still makes you sad so it means a lot to me that you came. Even if I did catch you making eyes at my therapist," she teased.
"I did not!" Santana exclaimed. "You're crazy," she said as she crouched and ran her lotioned her fingers up and down pale skin.
"Why is it so crazy?" she asked softly. "She said you were cute you know."
"I'm not cute... She's crazy," Santana sighed as she continued to rub the lotion on her friend's legs.
"You are too cute, stop saying stuff like that," Quinn shook her head. "But way to insult someone who said something nice about you," she sighed, dropping the subject.
"She doesn't even know me," Santana mumbled, as she got up and grabbed Quinn's bra. "Wanna handle this and then we can get your pants on and we can go?"
"Yeah, sure," she shrugged, taking the item and shrugging out of her robe, knowing she was still not very attractive with the still fading bruises and raw looking scars from from her accident. She shrugged into the bra and wiggled it into place, thin enough to be comfortable in a sports bra for the first time since Beth was born thanks to eating much less than before.
"Looking good," Santana said as she handed her the shirt and once it was on she helped Quinn pull on her pants. "Blow dry? Or just pony?"
"Just pony," she shrugged, not that interested in making herself look nice.
Santana ran the brush through Quinn's hair and smoothed it out before pulling it up. "There you go," She smiled before helping her into the chair. "Let's wait for Britt outside. It smells like pool up in here."
"Yeah, we can do that." Putting her hands on the rims, Quinn pushed off, wheeling her way out of the locker room.
The other girl nodded and followed her through the locker room. "We'll be out in the lobby, Britt!" Santana called out towards the showers as they left. "You did good today, Q."
"Thanks, but I didn't do that much," she shrugged, wheeling along the hall beside Santana. "I can't take any painkillers before the next session."
"Oh!" She exclaimed, "I guess that makes sense. I don't think you should get hurt or anything so we can make sure we have a heating pad at home in case you get sore."
Quinn chuckled wryly, "Given that I feel like I played tug of war against an army of Finn Hudsons, I think I'll take you up on that."
"Sorry, hun," Santana said softly, as she help Quinn wheel back against the wall and sprawled in the chair beside her. "We could get you some painkillers and put you to bed when we get to your house."
"I already took the ones for this afternoon," she shrugged. "I don't want to get loopy again."
"True," Santana said softly, "Maybe just relaxing? Letting you not use so much energy by sitting up and whatnot."
"Great," she rolled her eyes with a sigh, "back to bed."
"We could always lay in the grass in your backyard..." Santana offered, "I just don't want you to strain yourself."
"She's right, you know," Andi remarked, coming out of a side hall with shorts on over her swimsuit and a towel around her neck. "You need to take it easy. Stop stressing over being in bed. At least you're home after all. Hi," she smiled at Santana offering a hand, "I'm Andi Myers. Quinn's hydrotherapist."
"Hey," Santana said as she sat up and shook her hand. "Santana Lopez," She said as she looked at the woman. "Your skin's really nice for someone who's in the pool all day," Santana stammered then realized what she said, "I mean, uh, hey."
Andi chuckled and just accepted the compliment. "I'm a firm believer in moisturizer, but I don't spend all my time in the pool. I also work with people who won't be getting out of their chairs again unlike Quinn here out of the pool too. Her regular therapist just isn't qualified to work with hydrotherapy and her doctor wanted to try it. It's nice to meet you, Santana."
"Uh-huh," Santana nodded as she looked down at her shoes, "Sounds cool, well... um... good work with Q."
She laughed again. "We haven't even gotten started yet, have we, Quinn?"
Quinn shook her head, "Not yet. But on Tuesday, right?"
"Yep," she nodded. "Will you be bringing her again, Santana, or should I just get used to Brittany being here again?"
"I'll probably bring her," Santana shrugged, "If that's okay with Quinn. Brittany normally has practice on Tuesdays so... yeah."
"Well then," she smiled. "I look forward to seeing more of you."
Santana looked confused for a few moments, "I guess..." She looked away nervously, "Where the fuck is Britt?"
"Here!" Brittany called, running down the hall towards them with a bright smile. She threw her arms around Andi and hugged her. "It's super awesome that you're Q's therapist, Andi. Treat her right, okay?"
Andi laughed, hugging Brittany back. "I'll do my best. You guys go on now so I can update Quinn's paperwork." She made a brushing away gesture with a teasing smirk, "Go on, shoo! Let the old lady work!"
"You're not old!" Brittany smiled and hugged her again before taking the chair from Santana, "Lets go, Quinn!" Santana looked up at Andi again and waved slightly before following her friends.
Andi waved back and offered a little wink and smirk before heading down the hall to her office.
Quinn noticed with a tiny smirk. "Yeah right you didn't check her out," she teased, pitching her voice so only Santana could hear.
"Shut up, cripple," she hissed as she crossed her arms, hating the fact she did check out the woman.
Flinching, Quinn's amused smile fell away. "Alright. Fine. Jeez, I was just trying to have some fun with you. Never mind then," she grumbled, pushing hard on the wheels to roll away from Santana.
Santana growled and kicked the pavement, mad at herself for looking at another girl like that. She was mad that she knew what those feelings meant. That she wasn't just gay-for-Brittany, that she was actually interested in women. She followed them to her car and folded up the chair as Brittany put Quinn in the car. She slipped in the driver's seat and headed to Quinn's house. "I think I'm gonna sit today out, Brittany is gonna hang with you anyway so you don't really need me around," Santana sighed and rubbed her face.
"Fine," Quinn muttered, staring out the window unhappily. "Whatever. Do what you want."
"See you tomorrow," She sighed as she looked down ashamed. "I'll pick you up normal time."
"You don't have too," she muttered, swinging carefully down into her chair. "I can get my mom to drive me. Just... do what you want."
"I want to. I'm just in a bad mood... I'm sorry for snapping at you." She sighed and rubbed her eyes, "I'll see you tomorrow."
"Yeah, whatever," Quinn muttered, pushing her way up the sidewalk towards the awkwardly installed plywood "ramp" up to the porch so she could go inside.