Trusting You to Catch Me - Chapter Nine
Title: Trusting You to Catch Me
Author: Sio & Maura
Rating: NC-17
Length: 53,826
Spoilers: Everything up to On My Way and then deviating from there with minor Big Brother references.
Pairing: Santana/Quinn, Brittany/Santana/Quinn/Rachel friendship, mentions of Brittany/Santana, some Finn/Rachel (not positive)
Summary: Following her accident, Quinn experiences the gamut of emotion: denial to acceptance to healing and everything in between. But through it all are her friends patiently helping her with caring and friendship and maybe more.
Warnings (highlight to read): eating disorders, severe accident recovery, graphic sex, verbal abuse, minor violence, family issues, cheating, body image issues
Chapter 9
Santana spent most of Saturday with Rachel. She had managed to take in some more of a protein shake and was sent back to her house with a four pack of meal replacement shakes that they picked up at the store before Santana headed back to her house and spent the rest of the weekend doing homework.
Monday morning rolled around, Santana spun the dial on her locker and shoved her books inside it. She had on her Cheerios jacket over her top because after three days of a higher caloric intake than she was used to she was not feeling her best. Her stomach hurt all the time and she kept getting waves of sickness though the day but she was trying. She slammed her locker closed when she saw Quinn wheeling around the corner. She slipped around another corridor and she hit smack into a letterman jacket.
"Fuck!" She exclaimed as looked up, "Oh, damn, Trouty... Wall much?"
"Hey, San." He smiled a goofy grin at her as he held her shoulders, "Why are you running so fast?"
"Someone I don't want to see around the corner." She shrugged as she shrugged him off. "Do any big lipped things this weekend?"
"Hung out with Mercedes," he said with a blush as she shoved his hand in his pockets.
"Ew, I don't wanna know about you two banging." She smirked as she walked with him towards the empty classroom where they studied together on Mondays. "Did you finish your essay? Do you want to me to look over it?"
"Nah," He said, "Already proofed and everything."
"Replacing me as tutor with Weezy? I'm hurt." She replied as she looked at him and pouted. "Fine get a C."
"You're still my tutor," he pointed out. "You look good today, San." he remarked as they sat in the back at their desks. "Did you do something new?"
"No, Captain Homo," she snarked, she pulled out her book and flipped to the right page before scooting closer to him. "You wanna walk with me to Glee after this?"
"Hell yes!" he said. "Now educate me!"
She laughed softly and shook her head before turning back to her book and started working with him on his math homework for later in the day.
"Thanks for the help, I'm totally gonna go to college now." He smiled proudly, they stolled down the empty hallway towards the choir room a bit before the rest of the classes let out for the next period.
"Two years of working with you, you better be going!" She chided, "You need to take your time and not get that blonde ass head confused with big words." They turned to the choir room and heard the muffled sounds of what seemed to be two people fighting. Santana raised her eyebrow and opened the door a crack.
"I can't believe you slept with freaking Santana, Rachel! How could you do this to me?!" Finn's angry bellow streamed out once the door wasn't blocking anything any longer.
"How could I? She's my friend, Finn! What part about that don't you understand?" Rachel snapped, glaring at him with her arms folded over her chest as he paced around. "Do you have some problem with my sleeping with my friends?"
"Yeah, friends with benefits," he snarled barely under his breath. "It's freaking Santana, the biggest damn whore in McKinley! That's my damn problem!"
"You are a disgusting lout sometimes, Finn Hudson," she hissed. "I can't even believe the things that come out of your nasty mouth sometimes. How dare you call her that?"
Santana blinked and looked up at Sam who had tensed when he heard how Finn was treating Rachel and Santana. "What's with him?"
"I.. hung out with her on the weekend and he didn't want her too... but I didn't have any kind of sex with her!" Santana gaped, "Which seems to be the accusation."
Finn moved around Rachel and watched her, sizing her up. "You're cheating on me."
"I am not," Rachel huffed, glaring up at him but not giving up a foot of space. "I after all have the dignity to learn from my mistakes unlike someone I could mention."
"It's Santana!" he yelled. "The only way she'd stay with you is if you let her fuck you!"
Rachel stilled. "Please tell me you didn't just claim the only reason my friend would stay with me is if I offered sexual favors," she hissed, so angry her voice was cold. "Or that the only way Santana would be friends with someone would necessarily have to involve sexual relations."
"You've met her! She was only nice to me to steal my virginity. She only talks to Puck when she needs a boyfriend..." He thought for a few seconds, "God only know wat she does with Quinn and poor Sam! She's dangerous. I'm protecting you!"
Rachel's eyes narrowed. "You mean you're protecting yourself," she snapped. "Because I have met her. As a person which you seem to be oh so conveniently forgetting. Again. And again you're lying and trying to blame her for the fact that you decided to have sex! Did all of that football playing finally damage your brain enough that you simply cannot grasp that no one believes your idiotic little lie but you?"
"Stop it, Rachel!" He hollered, "You can't do this. You can't be around her!"
"And who are you to dictate whom I'm allowed to be friends with, Finn Hudson?" she all but growled, the words slipping out past clinched teeth. "It's bad enough you're insisting that I should give up my dreams of Broadway, but now to stoop so low as to dictate whom I am allowed to be friends with?!"
"Yes when you're making bad decisions! You're not this stupid, Rachel." He scoffed, "She and Quinn are just screwing with you! Don't you remember how mean they were to you?"
"Why don't you ask if I remember how mean you have been to me?" She glared at him. "Or maybe how mean you still are! Or have you forgotten about egging my house? Or slushing me? Or perhaps constantly trampling on my hopes and dreams to boost your ego? Or maybe I should just focus on how you've dumped me for Quinn on more than one occasion?!"
"That's not the same and you know it!" He yelled, "I love you, it's different because I just want what's best for you. They don't."
"How is it not the same?! As far as I can see, it's worse because you claim you love me!" she threw her arms in the air and started pacing. "At least they never claimed to be my friend while treating me like that and once they did," she stopped and leveled a pointed stare at him, "they stopped the behaviour. You haven't even apologized. Not even once. To anyone. And Santana deserves your apology far more than I do at this point."
"The hell I'm talking to that anorexic bitch," He gaped. "She should have just left the country when she was all embarrassed about being a big homo. Not like anyone could recognize her, she's not even hot anymore."
Rachel's hand lashed out. The sound echoed in the choir room as she stood there with her arm still in the follow through. "How dare you? Who are you?" she shook her head in disbelief. "You're not the man I thought I loved. I don't even know who you are, but I do know I don't want to be with a homophobic asshole like you."
He reached out to grab her arm, but was quickly intercepted by Sam. "Don't touch her," he warned as he pushed the larger boy back. "Why are you being an ass, man?"
While Sam was handling Finn, Santana took Rachel's elbow and led her across the room. "That over-sized boob with a third nipple for a face touch you?" She growled as she looked over Rachel for harm.
She shook her head, "No... Oh God," she breathed, looking between her and Sam. "How much did you hear?"
"Back the hell off, man," Finn growled, shoving Sam. "This is a private conversation between me and my fiancee, so back out."
"You raised a hand to her. Guys don't do that to their fiancees around me," he warned, using his strength to hold him back.
Santana looked over then back at Rachel, "Since he accused you of sleeping with me."
"He's just stupid," Rachel shrugged, "and technically speaking, we did sleep together this weekend."
"You what?" Sam sounded startled, looking over his shoulder and completely missing the left hook Finn sent swinging his way.
"I told you to back off!" Finn yelled, shaking his hand as Sam staggered back clutching at his face. "Why doesn't anyone ever listen?!"
"What. The. Fuck!" Santana yelled as she lunged at Finn, "Don't fucking touch him! We slept in the same bed, you idiot! I didn't fuck her for Christ's sake! Why don't you go back to the cave and beat some shit with your club and dance around because you saw fire for the first fucking time!"
"Santana, don't!" Sam muffled out, grabbing for her with one arm to keep from from Finn.
Finn looked like he was about to give Santana a piece of the same treatment he'd given Sam when he was distracted by something hitting him on the cheek. It clattered ringingly to the floor as he looked up, surprised, to see Rachel still with her arm extended towards him.
"Get out," she whispered. "Get out of here right now. I'm not going to marry you and I don't ever want to see you again."
"Rachel, don't do this." Finn said as his demeanor changed, "You're gonna regret throwing that. You want to marry me."
"No, I don't. Now take it and get out of here." She couldn't do anything but stare at him. "You've assaulted my friends, insulted them and me, made threats... I don't want you anywhere near me anymore. Now go before I start screaming for help."
He glared at them all before storming off. Santana reached down and picked up the ring, "Hold onto this. You might change your mind... or you can pawn it," she said with a slight smile before putting it into Rachel's hand. "How you doing, Glassjaw?" she asked as she reached up and cupped Sam's face. "Aw, poor Trouty, your lips are gonna be so much bigger!"
"I don't want it," Rachel huffed, dropping it on the top of the piano before moving to help Santana get Sam over to one of the chairs. "Take your hand away so we may assess the damage, Sam," she added, digging in her bag for a package of tissues.
"I'm alright," Sam said as she pulled Santana to sit on his knee as she took the tissue to his nose. "Just a flesh wound." He tried to joke before wincing at the pain.
"Wuss," Santana teased before making him hold his own tissue. "He's fine."
"Still, Finn should never have struck him," Rachel insisted, sitting down on the other side of him and nervously brushing back a bit of his hair to make sure there was no further damage. "Do you think I should get an ice pack? There may be one in the office..."
"Nah... He hits like my kid brother," Sam smiled, "Plus, Mercedes will find it hot I bet."
"Gross," Santana said getting off his knee and running a hand through her hair.
"Thank you for coming to my defense nonetheless," Rachel murmured, folding her hands in her lap and looking down at them, her eyes unconsciously being drawn to the slightly paler line where her engagement ring had once sat. "Not many people would bother. It... means a lot to me that you would. Either of you. Thank you."
"You're my friend, Rach!" Sam smiled and hugged her. "He's being a dick, no guy should act like that to their lady!"
"I'm not his lady," she insisted pulling back after returning the hug. "I can no longer abide by his disgusting behaviour. The fact that he insists on continuing to insult Santana and refuses to apologize is appalling enough, but to try to control me as if I'm some... some sort of puppet? I'm sorry, but I cannot tolerate it any longer."
"Don't worry about me, Rach..." Santana shrugged, "I'm not bothered by him hatin' on me. Just when he's a douche to you."
"San's like the toughest chick I know!" Sam smiled, "She's not gonna take his crap."
"Sam, you sound like the president of her fan club," Rachel smiled wanly. "I'm just so tired of him always hurting people and getting away with it. It's not fair..."
"I am president of her fan club!" He said, "Except my girlfriend doesn't like it when I'm all around her and singing her praises."
"Bitches be jealous of the ‘tana," She smiled fakely before tucking her hair behind her ears. "Come on, Rachel, we should bounce before the ice man cometh back."
"But... what about Glee?" Rachel asked softly, "Do you want to skip...?"
"Do you?" She asked, "Your call."
She sighed. "I think I'll wait to see if he returns. If he does, I shall make my exit even though I know he'll likely attempt to paint all of us with his tarbrush to everyone else."
Santana nodded. "I don't really want to face Quinn and Britt... But I'll stay," she said as she pulled out her ponytail and ran her fingers through her hair.
"You need to face them at some point, Santana," Rachel chided gently, much to Sam's confusion. "They're your friends as well, even if their manner of confronting problems leaves much to be desired."
She scrunched her face up and flopped down in her chair in the back row and pulled out her water bottle and took a sip. "No me gusta."
She looked at her for a moment then at the clock. "If you are so determined to leave, would you consider going to acquire lunch with me?" she asked with a curiously raised brow. "I'm certain Sam here can't wait to impress his lady with his wounds of valor, so I doubt he'll attend but if you'd like, Sam?"
"Damn right?" he stated.
"Sure, I guess that we can do that. We have some time prior to Glee beginning." Santana shrugged.
"If it takes overlong," she smiled weakly, "then we miss Glee. I'm sure it'll be nothing more than another of Mr. Schuester's lessons of the week instead of doing as we should be and preparing for our Nationals bid."
She nodded and got up, leaving her bag on her chair and followed Rachel down the hall towards the cafe. "What can I actually eat here?" She asked, looked disgusted at the thought of ingesting any of the food.
"Personally," Rachel mused, looking at the food on display, "the only thing I can eat is the mostly green salad. Which is why most often I bring my own lunch." She held up her lunch satchel. "I brought enough to share today if you'd care to."
"Maybe I'll just get a juice or something." She sighed and looked around, "Or yogurt."
"Get a juice and try a little of this?" she suggested. "I have fruit salad and veggie wraps."
She nodded and picked a mango juice and headed over and paid for it. "I'm nervous about Sue coming and like surprising me with a scale." She sighed and wrung her hands around the bottle. "It's not a pleasant feeling."
"I dare say not," Rachel shrugged, leading them to a table, "but seeing you eating should appease her if she does burst into the cafeteria. I was under the assumption she'd agreed not to spread the actual reason behind your being seated though."
"This is true," She sighed, "But I'm not limping or casted so who knows what people think." Santana mumbled before popping the lid on her drink and putting a straw into it.
"In my experience, people tend to think whatever they wish, no matter the evidence supporting or disproving their theories," she pointed out, opening her lunch bag and pulling out the containers of fruit salad and veggie wraps. "For example, the theory that I am a transsexual person apparently due to the unusually large size of my hands." She frowned at them for a moment, "Though I've never thought they were that large myself."
"Normal," She smiled as she looked at the girl's hands. "But, that was mean of us.. Sorry."
"You don't have to apologize for that, Santana. I understand the nature of children to be cruel, after all. And I like to believe we've all grown up a bit the last few years, don't you?"
"Yeah," she said, as she drank a sip of her juice.
"With certain appallingly obvious exceptions," Rachel groused, finishing dividing the food and sliding the smaller portion across the table to Santana with her spare fork.
She looked at it and sighed. "Looks good," she lied as she stabbed it with her fork.
"Doubt it," Rachel murmured with a knowing smirk. "But you need to eat at least a little. You likely would be better at having something to nibble on throughout the day."
She nodded and took a bite and chewed thoroughly, "Did you had a nice bible study with Quinn?"
"Yes, actually," she murmured around a bite of melon. "Leviticus and how the modern church has changed its stances on things within is quite fascinating as a study. You really should consider joining us if you have the time. I have no doubt you could add quite the unique insight from your own religious background."
"Maybe... I'm... normally like... busy on Sunday," she stammered, not really wanted to admit she wasn't allowed to go to church with her parents. "Was Quinn okay?"
Rachel paused with her fork just about to spear another piece of fruit. "What do you mean? Was she okay with the Bible study? She seemed to be."
"No. Like in general," Santana asked, not used to not spending time with her friend since she got hurt. "Has she been sleeping? Was Judy around?"
She shrugged. "I suppose so. I think she misses you though. And yes! Mrs. Fabray left for church shortly after I arrived, but she returned with a delicious and surprisingly vegan-friendly pasta and vegetable salad for lunch for the three of us. She's quite the lady pulling through all this," she smiled, unaware of the bad side of Judy Fabray that Santana had been witness to.
"Yeah," Santana scoffed. "She's a peach." She reached over and took another small bite on her salad and then a sip of her juice. "I'm just really mad at her that she'd be like that to me. It's not fair."
"It's Quinn," she shrugged. "Antagonism is sort of her default setting. You should go and visit her though. I'm sure she'd like to apologize... or at least speak with you again."
"Yeah, I guess." Santana shrugged, ducking her head and nibbling on a piece of the tortilla from her wrap. "Maybe I'll go visit this weekend."
"That'd be nice, I'm sure."