today i figured out who's been pissing on the bean bag thing in the living room. and i know he's the one who pisses on the loft most of the time. and i bet he's the one who pissed on my witch hat, and in the corners of every room, and i bet most of the piss is his. and it's not puck, the infamous toaster pisser. no, it's ted. fucking ted. that makes me mad. ted doesn't like me that much. he's not exactly my favorite cat. i mean, i love him and all, but sometimes i really don't like him. and this just makes it worse. he's got a creepy smirk all the time, like "if i wasn't neutered/feline, i'd rape you". and he pees on things just because he's an ass. maybe i'm being delusional, because he is just a cat, but i swear it's true!
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