Been awhile since I used this thing....
My father-in-law is always on my mind, whether in the forefront or the back burner. Ever since he tried to commit suicide back in December, I've thought about all the problems that I've blogged about before (on here, and also a lot on Myspace back when I still frequented that site). I think back and realize that all my concerns were/are petty and miniscule compared to what he's been through. I almost feel embarrassed now for ever complaining about things that were going wrong at certain points in my life. We've talked several times about depression in the past, and he's always told me that I could come to him with any problem I have. I've never taken him up on the offer. I don't even know if I can do that now.
It's funny also, how almost losing a loved one puts your whole life into perspective. I remember when I got that phone call from my husband on that day, just being stunned into silence before falling apart on my living room floor. I know it sounds dramatic, but that's how I operate; I feel very deeply, even though I sometimes hide my true emotions in order to be strong for everyone else. I try my best now to put on a happy face and keep the griping to a minimum (but I also see the value in venting every now and then, cos if you don't you'll eventually drive yourself loony). The little things don't bother me as much as they used to. Corny and cliched? Yes. True? Very.
I've also tried to spend more of my time in the real world, away from the online universe. If I don't start living a little bit, I may very well find myself blinking in time to see my entire life passing me by. It doesn't mean that I don't care/love the friends I've made on the interwebz. I'm just trying to learn to be a little more present in the here and now.
I dont even know what the whole point of this rambling is. I decided to dust off my old LJ account and peruse around a little bit, one thing led to another and here we are. Who even comes by to look at this thing anymore besides me?....