[FIc] Chuck - Chuck vs. Family Secrets
Title: Chuck vs. Family Secrets
Author: themaskedmckay
Rating: Gen
Fandom: Chuck
Pairing: None
Words: 1,580
Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me.
Summary: Stephen Bartowski leaves a message for Chuck revealing family secrets.
Spoilers: The end of Season Two
Author's Notes: I've always been intrigued by Momma Bartowski.
Stephen Bartowski stuck around long enough for his daughter's wedding but the next morning he was nowhere to be found. Chuck felt the couch where his dad had been sleeping and the cushions were still warm; he hadn't been gone long.
He hadn't really been expecting him to stick around longer but with the new Intersect in his head it would have been nice to have his dad around to discuss the upgrade and differences between it and the old Intersect; and maybe what he could expect from it.
Chuck sat on the couch and tried not to feel overwhelmed. This time he had chosen this life and that made all the difference to him. But it would have been nice to have his dad around to give him a hand.
He flopped over on his side and felt something poke him in the neck. He dug his hand between the cushions of the couch and found an envelope with "Charles" scrawled on it in his father's handwriting. It figured. Even after all that had happened his dad was still better at communicating with his kids from a distance.
Chuck flipped the envelope open and pulled out the old, really seriously old, Polaroid inside. It was a picture of the Bartowskis back when Chuck was still a baby. Ellie was clinging to their dad's polyester bell bottoms and Chuck was wrapped up in a patchwork blanket, nestled in his mother's arms. She was wearing a sleeveless sundress and Chuck could just make out the tattoo on her arm... he knew it was a...
blue bird
project freedom stars
cold war
his mother shooting a Russian spy, his father behind her
his father in a cell, his mother shooting the camera out
the word 'rogue' stamped in red across his mother's photo
his mother lying in a pool of blood, a gun in her hand
Chuck gasped as the Intersect released him and his hands shook so hard he couldn't hold onto the photo; it fluttered to the ground.
His mother... had been an agent with the CIA? Obviously his father had known because she'd been his handler. She'd... gone rogue for him; pulled him out of a think tank somewhere in DC and rewrote their lives together as the Bartowskis. Was that even his real last name? Now he wasn't so sure.
Only, something had happened to threaten their new identity? Chuck remembered the fights they used to have. The yelling, the accusations, her threatening to take them and leave and his dad shooting back that she was just as qualified a mother as he was a father... but what had the fights really been about?
His dad's work, Chuck remembered. She had been very definite about his dad giving up the work he was doing. Chuck remembered having to move suddenly because there hadn't even been time to find his teddy before they ran out the door and drove all night. When he'd woken in the morning they were in Burbank and it was their new home.
Why did none of that make him wonder before now? The night she'd left them... Chuck remembered the image the Intersect had supplied him, Rogue Agent Blue Bird: Terminated.
Chuck struggled to breathe around the lump in his throat. She had died to keep them safe, hadn't she? And his dad knew it. And he didn't say anything all these years; he had let them think she'd walked out on them. And even now that he wanted Chuck to know, he didn't have the guts to tell him to his face.
How could he tell Ellie? Hey, Ellie? Guess what, our mom was in the CIA and she was dad's handler only she went rogue to start a family with him and they finally found her and shot her, so she didn't just walk out on us! Isn't that awesome? Oh, by the way you know Sarah? She's my CIA handler like mom was for dad. She already went rogue for me once, you think maybe there's a lesson there for me?
"Hey, what are you doing up so early?" Ellie put a hand on Chuck's shoulder then noticed the tears silently running down his cheeks, "Chuck! What's wrong?" She slid onto the couch next to him and put her arms around him. She held him for a long moment then remembered who should have been on the couch, "Dad left didn't he?"
Chuck wiped his face with his hands and just nodded in reply, Ellie's face got that pinched look that conveyed anger better than words could. "Here," Chuck picked the Polaroid up off the floor and handed it to her to distract her. "He left this for us."
She took the Polaroid and glanced at it quickly. She firmly put it down on the coffee table and set a book on top of it. "Chuck, listen to me." She turned his head to look at her with a hand on his chin, "You and I are family. We're the family that counts, got that? Yes, it was nice to have dad here but I can't ever forgive him or mom for walking out on us and I don't want you crying over them anymore. They're the ones missing out, not us." It was hard to be intimidating when you were wearing a fuzzy pink bathrobe but Ellie managed it; maybe it was because she spent most of her day in scrubs, which were like pyjamas, and still had to maintain an air of authority.
"What if they had to leave? What if it was to protect us from something horrible?" Chuck's voice sounded hollow and he suddenly looked older, "Ellie, what if we're wrong to hate them?"
"Hate's a strong word, "she kissed the top of his head, "Does it really matter? Would knowing why erase all those years of hurt?"
He shrugged her off and pulled the photo out from under the book, "It might." The photo seemed so much heavier now, with the weight of knowledge behind it. "If someone you knew made sacrifices so you could live your life happy and free," Chuck pressed his thumbs over the faces of his parents in the photo, "And you found out years later, wouldn't that make you want to forgive them for everything they'd done?"
Ellie looked at the photo in Chuck's hand then gently took it from him. He looked up at her and he knew his eyes were filled with secrets she couldn't read; he'd changed so much in the past two years. There was a time when she knew him so well she would have known what he was hiding; there was a time when he couldn't lie to her.
Ellie's voice was a whisper, "I think that family should stick together. Family should share the bad times as well as the good." She stared at Chuck and her voice strengthened, "And if I found out a family member sacrificed them self so I could be happy and free I would never forgive them! Who are they to decide what makes me happy? Who are they to decide that I'm willing to let them make that sacrifice? Maybe it seems like love, Chuck, but it isn't; it's fear. Fear of seeing someone you love get hurt. Nobody wants someone they love to be hurt because of them but that doesn't make it okay to take away the choice.
"We didn't need mom and dad to make sacrifices for us. We needed them to be there, even if it meant being on the run or having to change our names or smuggling government secrets in our teddy bears!" She flopped down on the couch next to him and put her head on his shoulder, "So don't feel like you owe them, okay? No matter their reasons, they should have stuck it out as a family instead of running away."
Chuck shifted uncomfortably. Ellie had a point, here he was trying to protect her from his spy life but maybe she could handle it? Maybe she could help him with his cover? Or, maybe, one evening he'd come home to find Ellie on the floor with a gunshot wound in her head. He shivered involuntarily; she was right, he was a coward. It was fear that made him keep his spy life secret from her and he wasn't sure that was something he could overcome. He suddenly felt a wave of empathy for his parents; he couldn't imagine if he had kids, let alone a sister, to protect.
"Hey, you're pretty quiet. Did I say too much?"
"Huh? No, I just, I was just thinking about what you said." He could do it, he could tell her all about the Intersect and Dad being Orion and the trouble he'd been in and out of. Right now was perfect because Casey hadn't had time to set up his surveillance equipment yet and if he dared he could give her the choice their parents never gave them.
"Well, I'm going to make some pancakes, you want some?"
"Yeah." Chuck watched Ellie dig through the cupboards for ingredients. She had stuck the family photo on the fridge with a Mickey Mouse magnet they'd picked up at Disneyland years ago. It wasn't too late, he could tell her...
His cell phone rang and he glanced down to see Sarah's face on the screen. He answered the phone and knew he was a coward.
Author: themaskedmckay
Rating: Gen
Fandom: Chuck
Pairing: None
Words: 1,580
Disclaimer: Characters do not belong to me.
Summary: Stephen Bartowski leaves a message for Chuck revealing family secrets.
Spoilers: The end of Season Two
Author's Notes: I've always been intrigued by Momma Bartowski.
Stephen Bartowski stuck around long enough for his daughter's wedding but the next morning he was nowhere to be found. Chuck felt the couch where his dad had been sleeping and the cushions were still warm; he hadn't been gone long.
He hadn't really been expecting him to stick around longer but with the new Intersect in his head it would have been nice to have his dad around to discuss the upgrade and differences between it and the old Intersect; and maybe what he could expect from it.
Chuck sat on the couch and tried not to feel overwhelmed. This time he had chosen this life and that made all the difference to him. But it would have been nice to have his dad around to give him a hand.
He flopped over on his side and felt something poke him in the neck. He dug his hand between the cushions of the couch and found an envelope with "Charles" scrawled on it in his father's handwriting. It figured. Even after all that had happened his dad was still better at communicating with his kids from a distance.
Chuck flipped the envelope open and pulled out the old, really seriously old, Polaroid inside. It was a picture of the Bartowskis back when Chuck was still a baby. Ellie was clinging to their dad's polyester bell bottoms and Chuck was wrapped up in a patchwork blanket, nestled in his mother's arms. She was wearing a sleeveless sundress and Chuck could just make out the tattoo on her arm... he knew it was a...
blue bird
project freedom stars
cold war
his mother shooting a Russian spy, his father behind her
his father in a cell, his mother shooting the camera out
the word 'rogue' stamped in red across his mother's photo
his mother lying in a pool of blood, a gun in her hand
Chuck gasped as the Intersect released him and his hands shook so hard he couldn't hold onto the photo; it fluttered to the ground.
His mother... had been an agent with the CIA? Obviously his father had known because she'd been his handler. She'd... gone rogue for him; pulled him out of a think tank somewhere in DC and rewrote their lives together as the Bartowskis. Was that even his real last name? Now he wasn't so sure.
Only, something had happened to threaten their new identity? Chuck remembered the fights they used to have. The yelling, the accusations, her threatening to take them and leave and his dad shooting back that she was just as qualified a mother as he was a father... but what had the fights really been about?
His dad's work, Chuck remembered. She had been very definite about his dad giving up the work he was doing. Chuck remembered having to move suddenly because there hadn't even been time to find his teddy before they ran out the door and drove all night. When he'd woken in the morning they were in Burbank and it was their new home.
Why did none of that make him wonder before now? The night she'd left them... Chuck remembered the image the Intersect had supplied him, Rogue Agent Blue Bird: Terminated.
Chuck struggled to breathe around the lump in his throat. She had died to keep them safe, hadn't she? And his dad knew it. And he didn't say anything all these years; he had let them think she'd walked out on them. And even now that he wanted Chuck to know, he didn't have the guts to tell him to his face.
How could he tell Ellie? Hey, Ellie? Guess what, our mom was in the CIA and she was dad's handler only she went rogue to start a family with him and they finally found her and shot her, so she didn't just walk out on us! Isn't that awesome? Oh, by the way you know Sarah? She's my CIA handler like mom was for dad. She already went rogue for me once, you think maybe there's a lesson there for me?
"Hey, what are you doing up so early?" Ellie put a hand on Chuck's shoulder then noticed the tears silently running down his cheeks, "Chuck! What's wrong?" She slid onto the couch next to him and put her arms around him. She held him for a long moment then remembered who should have been on the couch, "Dad left didn't he?"
Chuck wiped his face with his hands and just nodded in reply, Ellie's face got that pinched look that conveyed anger better than words could. "Here," Chuck picked the Polaroid up off the floor and handed it to her to distract her. "He left this for us."
She took the Polaroid and glanced at it quickly. She firmly put it down on the coffee table and set a book on top of it. "Chuck, listen to me." She turned his head to look at her with a hand on his chin, "You and I are family. We're the family that counts, got that? Yes, it was nice to have dad here but I can't ever forgive him or mom for walking out on us and I don't want you crying over them anymore. They're the ones missing out, not us." It was hard to be intimidating when you were wearing a fuzzy pink bathrobe but Ellie managed it; maybe it was because she spent most of her day in scrubs, which were like pyjamas, and still had to maintain an air of authority.
"What if they had to leave? What if it was to protect us from something horrible?" Chuck's voice sounded hollow and he suddenly looked older, "Ellie, what if we're wrong to hate them?"
"Hate's a strong word, "she kissed the top of his head, "Does it really matter? Would knowing why erase all those years of hurt?"
He shrugged her off and pulled the photo out from under the book, "It might." The photo seemed so much heavier now, with the weight of knowledge behind it. "If someone you knew made sacrifices so you could live your life happy and free," Chuck pressed his thumbs over the faces of his parents in the photo, "And you found out years later, wouldn't that make you want to forgive them for everything they'd done?"
Ellie looked at the photo in Chuck's hand then gently took it from him. He looked up at her and he knew his eyes were filled with secrets she couldn't read; he'd changed so much in the past two years. There was a time when she knew him so well she would have known what he was hiding; there was a time when he couldn't lie to her.
Ellie's voice was a whisper, "I think that family should stick together. Family should share the bad times as well as the good." She stared at Chuck and her voice strengthened, "And if I found out a family member sacrificed them self so I could be happy and free I would never forgive them! Who are they to decide what makes me happy? Who are they to decide that I'm willing to let them make that sacrifice? Maybe it seems like love, Chuck, but it isn't; it's fear. Fear of seeing someone you love get hurt. Nobody wants someone they love to be hurt because of them but that doesn't make it okay to take away the choice.
"We didn't need mom and dad to make sacrifices for us. We needed them to be there, even if it meant being on the run or having to change our names or smuggling government secrets in our teddy bears!" She flopped down on the couch next to him and put her head on his shoulder, "So don't feel like you owe them, okay? No matter their reasons, they should have stuck it out as a family instead of running away."
Chuck shifted uncomfortably. Ellie had a point, here he was trying to protect her from his spy life but maybe she could handle it? Maybe she could help him with his cover? Or, maybe, one evening he'd come home to find Ellie on the floor with a gunshot wound in her head. He shivered involuntarily; she was right, he was a coward. It was fear that made him keep his spy life secret from her and he wasn't sure that was something he could overcome. He suddenly felt a wave of empathy for his parents; he couldn't imagine if he had kids, let alone a sister, to protect.
"Hey, you're pretty quiet. Did I say too much?"
"Huh? No, I just, I was just thinking about what you said." He could do it, he could tell her all about the Intersect and Dad being Orion and the trouble he'd been in and out of. Right now was perfect because Casey hadn't had time to set up his surveillance equipment yet and if he dared he could give her the choice their parents never gave them.
"Well, I'm going to make some pancakes, you want some?"
"Yeah." Chuck watched Ellie dig through the cupboards for ingredients. She had stuck the family photo on the fridge with a Mickey Mouse magnet they'd picked up at Disneyland years ago. It wasn't too late, he could tell her...
His cell phone rang and he glanced down to see Sarah's face on the screen. He answered the phone and knew he was a coward.