The writer, her son, a book and a thorny question of ethics

[themolesmother]

Have been following this story over the course of the week:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/booknews/4971982/Julie-Myerson-author-of-book-about-sons-drug-abuse-admits-writing-family-column.html

To sum it up. Whiny media celebrity and author pens a book about her son's cannabis addiction, its effect on her family and alleges she had to throw

Comments

[nineveh_uk]

I'm perfectly willing to believe that her son was an utte rhorro and made a complete pain in the arse of himself. They may even have been justified in throwing him out - but even if all that's true, it's still immensely tacky (at least) to do a tell-all book while your son's still alive and without his express permission. And then create a media storm about it as well.He may have been hell to live with, endangered the other children etc. etc. and I don't underestimate how awful it may have been if her side of the story is true, but even so I am strongly influenced in the whole business by the fact that he was, when it all started (and "all" must include the ghastly Living with Teenagers, in which clearly this was a nightmare household) a child. Write about your drug-addled partner all you like. I won't read it unless it is Great Literature*, but s/he's an adult. An adult who gets involved with a my-life-writing fellow adult does so knowlingly. This is about a child - he didn't choose to get involved with her, knowing that she would

[themolesmother]

I don't underestimate how awful it may have been if her side of the story is true, but even so I am strongly influenced in the whole business by the fact that he was, when it all started (and "all" must include the ghastly Living with Teenagers, in which clearly this was a nightmare household) a child

I agree with you. The saddest quote from him I've read is, "she's been writing about me since I was two." There, I suggest, lies the source of his problems, including the cannabis addiction.

MM

[kiandra_fire]

And something from her son's side, just to make everything worse

[themolesmother]

Around the time I entered high school, I asked Dad to stop writing about me in the column because it was embarrassing. He did.

There lies the difference. Jake asked his mother not to publish the book. She did. He asked her several times if she was the author of Living with Teenagers. She denied it. The woman cares about no-one but herself.

MM

[themolesmother]

She's a UK media celeb who appears regularly on BBC Newsnight, has written several books and specialises in this tacky sort of confessional journalism. She's a prime example of the UK's chattering classes at their worst.

MM

[magic_at_mungos]

I remember reading the family life columms and thinking that the way her children were horrid. I'm sure they were nice kids but they were potrayed as really quite nasty especially her daughter.

And I know she says she had permission from her son to publish the book but if he is an addict and by all accounts, he is/was, then was he in a fit state to give informed consent?

[themolesmother]

If you read the quoted passages from the book in which she gives him the manuscript and "asks his permission" it is pretty obvious that he knew there was no way he could stop her from going ahead. It's sad.

MM

[magic_at_mungos]

I have a great deal of sympathy for him. I realise that living with an addict and it must be awful to see your child destroying themselves but still....

[lyras]

Ugh, it's such a nasty situation all round. I've read a few articles, including Jonathan Myerson defending his wife and the Mail interview linked above, and I have to say, the son's assessment of his parents as very naive and slightly insane sounds about right. I understand that throwing him out at seventeen must have been very painful for them (and jesus, who does that?), but somehow I suspect the effect on him was much greater.

My dad used to write a newspaper column in which we were occasionally mentioned, but always in vague terms (daughter no. 1, etc), and I don't ever remember him complaining about us or causing problems.

I have been trying to write about a family situation over the past few years, but I would never memoir it because I don't want to hurt family members. So it's fiction, and until I can get to a point where my sisters can't point to a character and say, "that's me", I won't consider it finished.

[themolesmother]

I've often used personal experience in my work but it gets transmuted in the process of writing into something quite different from the original situation. When I first started writing some of the stuff was embarassingly autobiographical so I reckon its a stage we all go through. Julie Myerson just never seems to have moved beyond that stage.

MM