I really can’t work out if getting the new Prince album for free was worth the stain on my soul that buying the Mail on Sunday has created. Ew, I feel dirty. And not in the good way.
Anyhoo, I’m not gonna do a rec post this week as, due to a nasty case of RL, I only read about 6 fics all week so I’ll save up the recs I have and do an extra big post next Sunday. Yes.
Lastly - I wrote Foxshy! Huh?!?
Title: Commercial Reign.
Pairing: Matt/Josh.
Rating: R.
Summary: Advertising face cream doesn’t make Matt a girl. Honest.
Disclaimer: Not real.
Notes: I couldn’t help myself, Matt Fox is too much fun to play with. *g* Big smooches to
zelda_zee for the beta. Oh and a gold star to the first person who names the band I stole the title from.
Commercial Reign
Commercials, Matt decided, were the invention of the devil. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy seeing himself on TV on a regular basis, quite the opposite in fact, Matt was more than happy to see his own smiling face staring back at him from the 64 inch flat screen that decorated one wall of his hotel room. For a start it meant that he was working, which was always a good thing, plus, well, Matt knew that he was a damn good-looking guy and it was his job, nay, his responsibility to share the gifts God had given him with the world. It would be churlish to do otherwise.
Matt paused in his reflections for a moment and tried to work out if he had used ‘churlish’ correctly in his internal monologue. Yeah, he was pretty sure he had. That ‘word of the day’ toilet paper Dom had given him really was the coolest thing ever. He’d have to send him a fruit basket or something to say thanks.
So, yeah, Matt was a wickedly attractive specimen of manhood and L’Oreal was lucky to have him as their new spokesman and ok, fine, so the waxing of his chest that the stylist had insisted on hurt like a son of a bitch, but it was worth it. Hell, he was worth it. He said so in the ad, so it must be true.
What Matt hadn’t counted on when he agreed to do the ad -- to be honest all he had been counting were the dollar signs that swam in front of his eyes the second his agent told him about the offer -- was Josh being in Europe on a promotional tour for his own ad campaign at the same time as Matt’s ad started to air during every single commercial break on every single TV station in the whole damn continent.
Wait, was Europe a continent? Matt had never really managed to work that one out. It was a bit too confusing really, all those countries squashed together with no real sense of where one ended and the next began. And what about the UK? Was that a part of Europe, stuck out in the middle of the sea by itself? And what the hell kind of a name was ‘The United Kingdom’ anyway? As far as Matt knew the UK was ruled by a Queen, not a King, so surely it should be called the United Queendom. Fucking Europeans with their confusing names and their ‘we’re so much better than you because we have history and culture and you don’t’ attitudes. If it wasn’t for America they wouldn’t even be here, so screw them and their elitist bullshit.
Matt was just about to phone down to reception and ask if there was anywhere nearby where he could buy an American flag when he was distracted by his face appearing on the TV again. Damn he looked good. That color really suited him and the car they had him drive was wicked cool. There was no way that doing an ad for skin cream was girly, no matter what the constant stream of text messages from Josh said, no way at all.
So what if Matt liked to look after his skin? That didn’t make him less of a man, it made him hip, groovy and, what was that word Dom used all the time? Metrosexual, yeah that was it. Damn it, Matt was a metrosexual and proud of it. Josh was just jealous because he, Matthew ‘Foxy’ Fox, had fully embraced 21st Century living and Josh was still stuck floundering about in the Nineties, or more like the Eighties if Josh’s taste in shirts was anything to go by.
And anyway, Josh was advertising aftershave and aftershave was only a step away from perfume so if anyone was a girl it was Josh. It didn’t matter that Josh got to do stuff like dive off cliffs and get stared at by exotic-looking women in his ad, there was boxing in Matt’s ad for fuck’s sake, you didn’t get much more macho than that. Although Matt did have to admit that Josh looked pretty good in his ad, all half-naked and dripping wet there at the end. And yeah, maybe Matt had jerked off a couple of times while staring at the magazine version of the ad and imagining licking the water off as it ran down Josh’s tight abs. Ok, fine, more than a couple of times, like enough times that he’d had to go out and buy a second copy of the magazine because the first one was sort of ruined. But he wasn’t going to tell Josh that, not when he kept sending Matt messages like Are you living life to the full today? and So just how much do you love action? and Rocky called, he wants a rematch. Sarcastic bastard. Matt was so not going to put out when Josh got here. That would wipe the smile off his face: Matt was damn sure Josh wouldn’t be so quick to make snarky comments if sex was on the line.
Half an hour later Matt was desperately trying to cling to his vow not to put out, which was kinda hard seeing as how he was crushed up against his hotel room wall with Josh plastered against him, all wandering hands and grinding hips and kissing him in a way that made Matt wonder if Josh needed to breathe anymore or if he’d found a way to live without oxygen. Matt’s dick was pretty much rebelling on the whole no sex thing and as most of the blood in his body seemed to be racing to join its friends down in the vicinity of his groin, his brain had very little left to use and was currently filled with thoughts of naked and now and very few that involved revenge, and, really, in the scheme of things, Matt was ok with that. He could always get his own back on Josh by having so much sex with him that Josh would look all haggard and drawn for his next photoshoot. Ha! All the ‘power of cool’ in the world wouldn’t be able to save Josh from a bitchy make-up artist pissed at having to cover up the fact that Josh hadn’t slept a wink the night before. Matt congratulated himself on coming up with such an evil plan and set to work on it by winding a hand into Josh’s hair, pulling him even closer and trying to discover what he’d had for breakfast that day, with his tongue.
Josh had really nice hair, Matt thought. It felt good under his fingers, all silky and tuggable, just right for gripping on to when Josh’s mouth was wrapped round his dick, which is where Matt sincerely hoped it was heading soon. Josh had nice lips too. They were surprisingly soft for a guy’s - Matt wondered idly if Josh used some kind of moisturizing lip balm or something... Jesus, Josh was right, he really was turning into a girl. He should probably do something about that, but maybe not right now because Josh was licking at that spot just below his ear which never failed to turn Matt’s spine to jelly and it was really hard to think of macho stuff when all the bones in his body were melting and the only hard thing left was his dick.
Matt was just about to call off his revenge plan and forgive Josh for all the jokes at his expense -- as long as Josh kept doing that thing with his tongue and then followed it up by fucking him through the nearest flat surface, which Matt was pretty sure he would do sometime in the very near future -- when Josh ran the tip of his tongue around the shell of Matt’s ear and then mock-whispered into it.
"Mmmm, Matt, your skin’s so smooth. Must be that girly face cream you use."
Right, that was it. No more Mr Nice Matt. He was sick of Josh making fun of him, especially since he was pretty sure Josh was only doing it because he was jealous of how good Matt looked in his ad. Yeah, that was it, Josh was just jealous because he was only the face of Cool Water not a Spokesman like Matt was and Matt got to speak in his ad while all Josh got to do was stand around looking lickable. Power of cool? Power of lame was more like it. Matt glared at Josh and said the most manly thing he could think of.
"Suck my dick, Holloway."
Score! In your face, power-boy! Matt felt thoroughly pleased with his withering condemnation of Josh’s opinions about his skin cream usage. See how he liked being the one on the receiving end for once.
But Josh didn’t look all that upset, in fact, he just grinned, took a step back and dropped to his knees.
"Well when you ask that nicely how can I refuse? I mean, you’re worth it, after all."
Yeah, Matt thought, he so totally was.