(no subject)
Title: What would Yoda Do?
Pairing: Dom/Viggo + (implied) Foxshy
Warnings: The usual cavalcade of rude words and smut and no Beta so really bad punctuation.
Summary: Viggo gets mail
Notes: This is entirely based on julissak01's fantastic fic And The Pictures Make Four which was in turn a companion piece to foxxcub's equally fantastic and inspirational fic Puck's Intentions and you really have to read them both to understand it. Plus they are both brilliant so go read....off you go....If you want to see the pictures you have to go read them.....read 'em? ok, on with the smut..
What would Yoda do?
Shaking his head wearily as he replaced the phone in its cradle Viggo pondered on whether or not Dom should be locked away for both his sake and that of the world in general.
Difficult decision to make that one. On one hand the world would be a much more boring place without his friend and, when the mood struck them both just right, lover in it to fuck with people’s minds but on the other hand there were the people he fucked with. Oh please won’t someone think of the people. Viggo rolled his eyes. Now he was misquoting The Simpson’s. The blame for his addiction to that particular cartoon family could be laid firmly at Dom’s feet too.
Viggo snorted to himself, his musings complete. Basically all that was bad and wrong (and thus by default oh so right) in the world was caused by Dominic Monaghan and his total inability to think before he spoke. Dammit now the thought of Dom instigating a steamy clinch between two allegedly straight guys combined with the over use of the word “fuck” in his internal monologue was making him horny so he decided to get himself a sandwich in an attempt to convince his body that what it hungered for was food and not baser things.
Wandering back from the kitchen, bread based snack in hand, Viggo heard his computer make that irritating noise that heralded the arrival of new mail. He really had to get Henry to show him how to make it stop doing that. He glared at the machine hoping that by sheer force of will he could make it produce a more pleasant sound. It didn’t appear to notice. Sighing heavily he sat himself down to see who was to blame.
It was Dom. Quelle surprise. He could swear that the man had an inbuilt horniness detector that went off the second anyone he knew anywhere in the world was feeling a stirring in his or her loins enabling him to make sure that it was his image that was in the forefront of their minds. It was the only rational explanation. Viggo looked at the message. It contained only the words “Just look at them and tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.” Followed by a “<3” and the letter “D”. Trying to work out why Dom considered himself to be less than 3, his mental age maybe? Viggo clicked on the attachments.
There were four pictures. Each one annotated with red script. The first showed Holloway and Fox staring at each other in what could be described as a loaded way if you were of the mindset to see such things in pictures, and Viggo was, and had the words “sizing each other up eh?” inscribed on it. Viggo laughed. There were many words one could use to describe Dom; “subtle” however, was not amongst them.
The second picture contained a cameo from the man Viggo liked to refer to as “Cheeky Slut”. He tried to think who had came up with that particular name first, Ian maybe or perhaps it was Bernard, he couldn’t remember but it was too perfect not to use. Particularly in this context. Dom was grinning insanely as Fox kissed his cheek, clearly revelling in the attention. But it was the words on the picture that caught Viggo’s attention. They said “See? He’s kissing me but he’s looking at you” and just to make sure the viewer really got the message there was an arrow showing the eye line.
Viggo stared at the picture. Maybe Dom was onto something. To Viggo’s mind (which was steadily become more overheated) it looked like Fox was thinking “You, me, him, a bed, now.” Whilst Holloway’s grin suggested that he mirrored the thought and heartily agreed. Viggo shifted in his seat, his pants becoming a little restricting in the room department and putting his food firmly out of the way (who was he kidding he was horny not hungry) he moved on to the next picture.
This one contained just the two men and the word “Foxshy”. Viggo’s brow creased in confusion. What the hell did “Foxshy” mean? Was Dom inferring that Matthew Fox was shy and that Josh should be the one to make the first move? If so then he needed to have a word with Dom about his use, or, in fact, lack of use of question marks. Punctuation was an important thing to master if you wanted to get on in life. Suddenly it dawned on him “Foxshy” was an internet term like “Vigorli”, only better. God he hated that word. “Vigorli”. There was something about it that grated on his nerves, but what else was there? Mortenbloom? Hmmm it sounded like a flower and not in a good way. “Viglando” God no! He quite liked “Vigdom” tho; it had a regal ring to it like he was king of some magical domain. Nice. Dammit there was Dom again, slap bang in the forefront of his thoughts. How the hell did he do that? Shaking his head to clear it Viggo pulled his mind back on track and looked at the last picture.
Oh, this one was his favourite. In it Fox and Holloway held each other firmly, faces pressed tight in against each other Fox grinning proudly as Holloway leaned heavily on him face split in a smile so wide it defied belief. And he had to agree with the sentiments of the words which said simply “Possibly the cutest thing ever”. Oh yeah he could see Dom’s point alright. These two made a fine looking couple; they were made for each other and, from what he could see in the pictures, only needed the tiniest of pushes to move to the next stage. Viggo wondered if he could give Dom a helping hand in his plan to bring them together, Purely for the sake of making sure that Dom came to no harm of course not because of the sheer fucking need he felt to be there to see it for himself.
Viggo’s hand moved from the mouse to the zip on his trousers, he had a need for release right now that he was not man enough to ignore. Just as he was about to take himself to hand, so to speak, his cell phone rang. The ring tone told him exactly who it was without the need to check. Monaghan. Of course it was him. The horniness radar strikes again. Without stopping what he was doing Viggo flipped the phone open and spoke:
“What do you want Hobbit?”
“Words of wisdom and comfort from my own personal Yoda if you please.”
“Speak like Yoda I do not. I repeat what do you want? I’m busy here.”
“Sorry mate. I’ll call back later. Hang on a minute are you having a wank?”
“Maybe. And if I am it’s entirely your fault.”
“I can’t help it if I’m ridiculously attractive and inspire lustful thoughts in all those I know.”
“Sorry to burst your ego Hobbit but its not you I’m thinking about. It’s those damn pictures you sent me. Nice wording by the way.”
“Thanks I try my best. Did I mention there was groping?”
Yes you did but tell me again anyway.
Dom laughed long and hard, his throaty chuckle carrying just the right amount of dirty undercurrent to help speed Viggo on his way.
“Ah Vig you should have been there. There was groping and thrusting and all kinds of heavy breathing and some fondling definitely went on. The pulling off of T shirts was a very nice touch. All that bronzed skin exposed and pressed hard together. Very pleasant on the eye. Are you there yet?”
“Very fucking nearly please continue.”
“There was grinding, Josh was straddling Matt and there was definite movement going on. Fuck knows what would have happened if I hadn’t have stopped them. I figure if you and I get them drunk enough and then put on a show for their benefit, me on my knees your dick in my mouth I’m sure you get the idea.”
“I believe I am familiar with that particular scenario, carry on.”
“I reckon it won’t take much to get them in the mood, a nice bit of hot mansex going on right in front of their eyes should do it then we can sit back and watch the results. Imagine all that repressed desire exploding into being as we look on. Josh and Foxy all naked and sweaty, limbs tangled together, mouth on mouth, body on body. Fuck, now I need a wank.”
“We can deal with that in a moment Dominic first tell me, when’s the next flight out to Hawaii?”
“In two hours, I’ve booked you a seat. I’ll pick you up from the airport when you land. Pack light, if my plan comes together you won’t be needing many clothes.”
“And that dear Hobbit is why I continue to be your friend. Now speaking of coming I believe you mentioned something about being on your knees.”
Pairing: Dom/Viggo + (implied) Foxshy
Warnings: The usual cavalcade of rude words and smut and no Beta so really bad punctuation.
Summary: Viggo gets mail
Notes: This is entirely based on julissak01's fantastic fic And The Pictures Make Four which was in turn a companion piece to foxxcub's equally fantastic and inspirational fic Puck's Intentions and you really have to read them both to understand it. Plus they are both brilliant so go read....off you go....If you want to see the pictures you have to go read them.....read 'em? ok, on with the smut..
What would Yoda do?
Shaking his head wearily as he replaced the phone in its cradle Viggo pondered on whether or not Dom should be locked away for both his sake and that of the world in general.
Difficult decision to make that one. On one hand the world would be a much more boring place without his friend and, when the mood struck them both just right, lover in it to fuck with people’s minds but on the other hand there were the people he fucked with. Oh please won’t someone think of the people. Viggo rolled his eyes. Now he was misquoting The Simpson’s. The blame for his addiction to that particular cartoon family could be laid firmly at Dom’s feet too.
Viggo snorted to himself, his musings complete. Basically all that was bad and wrong (and thus by default oh so right) in the world was caused by Dominic Monaghan and his total inability to think before he spoke. Dammit now the thought of Dom instigating a steamy clinch between two allegedly straight guys combined with the over use of the word “fuck” in his internal monologue was making him horny so he decided to get himself a sandwich in an attempt to convince his body that what it hungered for was food and not baser things.
Wandering back from the kitchen, bread based snack in hand, Viggo heard his computer make that irritating noise that heralded the arrival of new mail. He really had to get Henry to show him how to make it stop doing that. He glared at the machine hoping that by sheer force of will he could make it produce a more pleasant sound. It didn’t appear to notice. Sighing heavily he sat himself down to see who was to blame.
It was Dom. Quelle surprise. He could swear that the man had an inbuilt horniness detector that went off the second anyone he knew anywhere in the world was feeling a stirring in his or her loins enabling him to make sure that it was his image that was in the forefront of their minds. It was the only rational explanation. Viggo looked at the message. It contained only the words “Just look at them and tell me you wouldn’t have done the same.” Followed by a “<3” and the letter “D”. Trying to work out why Dom considered himself to be less than 3, his mental age maybe? Viggo clicked on the attachments.
There were four pictures. Each one annotated with red script. The first showed Holloway and Fox staring at each other in what could be described as a loaded way if you were of the mindset to see such things in pictures, and Viggo was, and had the words “sizing each other up eh?” inscribed on it. Viggo laughed. There were many words one could use to describe Dom; “subtle” however, was not amongst them.
The second picture contained a cameo from the man Viggo liked to refer to as “Cheeky Slut”. He tried to think who had came up with that particular name first, Ian maybe or perhaps it was Bernard, he couldn’t remember but it was too perfect not to use. Particularly in this context. Dom was grinning insanely as Fox kissed his cheek, clearly revelling in the attention. But it was the words on the picture that caught Viggo’s attention. They said “See? He’s kissing me but he’s looking at you” and just to make sure the viewer really got the message there was an arrow showing the eye line.
Viggo stared at the picture. Maybe Dom was onto something. To Viggo’s mind (which was steadily become more overheated) it looked like Fox was thinking “You, me, him, a bed, now.” Whilst Holloway’s grin suggested that he mirrored the thought and heartily agreed. Viggo shifted in his seat, his pants becoming a little restricting in the room department and putting his food firmly out of the way (who was he kidding he was horny not hungry) he moved on to the next picture.
This one contained just the two men and the word “Foxshy”. Viggo’s brow creased in confusion. What the hell did “Foxshy” mean? Was Dom inferring that Matthew Fox was shy and that Josh should be the one to make the first move? If so then he needed to have a word with Dom about his use, or, in fact, lack of use of question marks. Punctuation was an important thing to master if you wanted to get on in life. Suddenly it dawned on him “Foxshy” was an internet term like “Vigorli”, only better. God he hated that word. “Vigorli”. There was something about it that grated on his nerves, but what else was there? Mortenbloom? Hmmm it sounded like a flower and not in a good way. “Viglando” God no! He quite liked “Vigdom” tho; it had a regal ring to it like he was king of some magical domain. Nice. Dammit there was Dom again, slap bang in the forefront of his thoughts. How the hell did he do that? Shaking his head to clear it Viggo pulled his mind back on track and looked at the last picture.
Oh, this one was his favourite. In it Fox and Holloway held each other firmly, faces pressed tight in against each other Fox grinning proudly as Holloway leaned heavily on him face split in a smile so wide it defied belief. And he had to agree with the sentiments of the words which said simply “Possibly the cutest thing ever”. Oh yeah he could see Dom’s point alright. These two made a fine looking couple; they were made for each other and, from what he could see in the pictures, only needed the tiniest of pushes to move to the next stage. Viggo wondered if he could give Dom a helping hand in his plan to bring them together, Purely for the sake of making sure that Dom came to no harm of course not because of the sheer fucking need he felt to be there to see it for himself.
Viggo’s hand moved from the mouse to the zip on his trousers, he had a need for release right now that he was not man enough to ignore. Just as he was about to take himself to hand, so to speak, his cell phone rang. The ring tone told him exactly who it was without the need to check. Monaghan. Of course it was him. The horniness radar strikes again. Without stopping what he was doing Viggo flipped the phone open and spoke:
“What do you want Hobbit?”
“Words of wisdom and comfort from my own personal Yoda if you please.”
“Speak like Yoda I do not. I repeat what do you want? I’m busy here.”
“Sorry mate. I’ll call back later. Hang on a minute are you having a wank?”
“Maybe. And if I am it’s entirely your fault.”
“I can’t help it if I’m ridiculously attractive and inspire lustful thoughts in all those I know.”
“Sorry to burst your ego Hobbit but its not you I’m thinking about. It’s those damn pictures you sent me. Nice wording by the way.”
“Thanks I try my best. Did I mention there was groping?”
Yes you did but tell me again anyway.
Dom laughed long and hard, his throaty chuckle carrying just the right amount of dirty undercurrent to help speed Viggo on his way.
“Ah Vig you should have been there. There was groping and thrusting and all kinds of heavy breathing and some fondling definitely went on. The pulling off of T shirts was a very nice touch. All that bronzed skin exposed and pressed hard together. Very pleasant on the eye. Are you there yet?”
“Very fucking nearly please continue.”
“There was grinding, Josh was straddling Matt and there was definite movement going on. Fuck knows what would have happened if I hadn’t have stopped them. I figure if you and I get them drunk enough and then put on a show for their benefit, me on my knees your dick in my mouth I’m sure you get the idea.”
“I believe I am familiar with that particular scenario, carry on.”
“I reckon it won’t take much to get them in the mood, a nice bit of hot mansex going on right in front of their eyes should do it then we can sit back and watch the results. Imagine all that repressed desire exploding into being as we look on. Josh and Foxy all naked and sweaty, limbs tangled together, mouth on mouth, body on body. Fuck, now I need a wank.”
“We can deal with that in a moment Dominic first tell me, when’s the next flight out to Hawaii?”
“In two hours, I’ve booked you a seat. I’ll pick you up from the airport when you land. Pack light, if my plan comes together you won’t be needing many clothes.”
“And that dear Hobbit is why I continue to be your friend. Now speaking of coming I believe you mentioned something about being on your knees.”