(no subject)
Title: It's A Shame About Peanuts.
Pairing: Dom/Billy
Rating: PG-13 (due to a tiny but of swearing)
Summary: Billy has improper thoughts.
Warnings: Virtually no plot and gratuitous references to Johnny Depp.
Beta: oops! Bound to be riddled with mistakes and terrible grammar.
Notes: Written for emma_took who wanted "Monaboyd, something funny with mild angst, yeah and hmmm drunkness, first time maybe, in NZ". The title is a bastardisation of my favourite line from the film "Benny & Joon". Italics denote Billy's internal monologue.
Oh yeah, so I forgot this bit - Disclaimer: This is not real. It is all made up. *looks at lawyers gathering outside her window* Happy now? *lawyers look a bit disappointed and wander off*
Billy was pleasantly drunk. He could feel the beer buzz loosening his aching muscles and beginning to soothe the tension that had gathered in his neck from the long days shoot. The only problem was, when Billy was drunk, the part of his brain that thought inappropriate things about his best friend took over, and, right now, that part of his brain was transfixed. The object of his brain’s obsession was sitting dead centre of the hotel bed, in one of those yoga positions, the names of which Billy couldn’t pronounce, that Dom found relaxing. Between his legs, in an area that could only be described as his crotch, Dom had placed a bowl of peanuts, which he was happily munching his way through, his eyes fixed on the TV screen, where Johnny Depp was to be found doing his best Buster Keaton impression in Benny and Joon. Billy could not tear his eyes away from the bowl of peanuts, or more specifically from Dom’s hand as it travelled from bowl to mouth and back again. It wasn’t that Billy was hungry, well, at least not for peanuts anyway, it was Dom’s hand, more than what it held, that had him so entranced.
Over and over again, Dom’s long, elegant fingers reached into the bowl, and searched around for just the right nut, then, having selected it, they travelled upwards, pausing momentarily in front of his waiting, open mouth and placed the morsel inside. Then, if that wasn’t torture enough to watch, as a finale, Dom sucked each of his fingers, slowly drawing them into his mouth one by one, and then withdrawing them equally carefully, licking his lips as he did so.
“I wish I was a peanut”
“Sorry Bills, did you say something?”
Shitfuckbollocks. Did I say that out loud? Billy’s heart raced in his chest and prickles of fear rose on the back of his neck. Think of something to say, anything… the weather that’s it talk about the weather. Just as he was about to speak he was once again distracted by Dom. This time his torturer was bringing a bottle of beer to his mouth, resting it there for just a second, before wrapping his lips around it, tilting his head back and taking a long, deep, swallow. Billy watched as a small amount of beer escaped from the side of Dom’s mouth and trickled down his chin. It was all he could do to stop himself from jumping on the man and licking the beer off his neck.
Oh God, he really had to stop this. Billy quickly turned his attention back to the TV. He had to stop thinking about Dom in ways that would make a porn star blush. This was his best mate after all, his chum, his buddy, his partner in crime, no need to complicate things by bringing sex into the equation. It wasn’t as if Dom had shown any interest in him in that way after all. This was obviously a horribly one sided crush and he had to put an end to it. Now. Billy tried to work out if his errant brain cells were getting the message. Judging by the current tightness of his trousers they weren’t listening at all. Billy quickly grabbed a cushion from the sofa he was sitting on and placed it on his lap. He really hoped he wouldn’t have to get up anytime soon. Perhaps he could explain his current state of arousal on Johnny Depp, after all, who didn’t find Johnny Depp attractive?
“It’s a nice hotel this isn’t it Bills?”
Dom’s voice broke through Billy’s musings and so, taking a deep breath, he turned to look at him once more:
“Aye Dom, it’s very nice. Makes a change to come back to a tidy room and fresh sheets after a long day on the set.” Yes! I can have a normal conversation after all. Excellent work brain, well done.
“What do you want to do with our day off tomorrow? Do you fancy going for a walk? Explore this part of the island a bit?”
I’d rather spend it in bed exploring you. Shit, evilbrain was awake again. At least this time he hadn’t spoken aloud. Billy was about to answer when his ability to speak was once again foiled by Dom, who was taking a moment to stretch out his arms above his head, his t shirt riding up as he did so exposing the start of the treasure trail that disappeared into the top of his jeans. His tight jeans. His tight jeans that encased his legs, which he was in the process of uncurling from the yoga pose and spreading out wide on the bed, that damned bowl of peanuts still nestled between them at the point where they met. Oh who was Billy kidding, it wasn’t the peanuts he was staring at…
“Billy? Hello earth to Billy!”
Billy jumped; clearly he had drifted off again. Shaking his head to clear it of thoughts of crawling up the bed in-between Dom’s legs and ridding him of his T shirt, he looked up into Dom’s amused face:
“Sorry Dom I was miles away. What did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted a peanut”
“No thanks. I’m not really hungry.” A Whole sentence! Woo! Way to go brain!
“Oh, ok. It’s just that, well, you’ve been staring at them all night. I though that maybe you wanted some.”
Billy could feel the panic rising again. Dom had noticed him staring. Quick, think of something to say..
“Billy”
Dammit too late “Yes Dom”
“Why have you got a cushion on your lap?”
Panic no longer described Billy’s state of mind. It was all he could do to stop from blushing beet red, speaking was not an option.
“Billy”
Oh God now what? Dreading the next question Billy answered: “Yes Dom?”
“What exactly do I have to do to get you to come over here and kiss me?”
Billy’s mouth dropped open in surprise as his brain gave up trying to grasp the situation and switched off entirely.
“I’ve been doing all my best work. Did you really think the way I was eating these peanuts was normal? I mean, come on Bills; we’ve been circling each other for ages now. I fancy you, I’m pretty sure you fancy me. What exactly are you waiting for? An invitation?”
As he spoke Dom moved the bowl to the table beside him and lay back on the bed, fixing Billy with a very direct stare. After taking a moment to get over his shock, Billy found that he had recovered the power of both speech and movement, so he stood up and walked slowly over to the bed:
“Sorry Dommie, I guess you were being a bit too subtle for me, an invitation would have made things easier.”
“Fine. Billy Boyd do you fancy a shag?”
It was a shame that Billy’s speech capabilities had returned as he no longer really needed them, instead he just crawled up the bed in the manner of his earlier fantasy and kissed the hell out of the man lying there. When they broke for air Dom looked at Billy and grinned:
“Billy”
“Yes Dom?”
“You can be my peanut anytime.”
Pairing: Dom/Billy
Rating: PG-13 (due to a tiny but of swearing)
Summary: Billy has improper thoughts.
Warnings: Virtually no plot and gratuitous references to Johnny Depp.
Beta: oops! Bound to be riddled with mistakes and terrible grammar.
Notes: Written for emma_took who wanted "Monaboyd, something funny with mild angst, yeah and hmmm drunkness, first time maybe, in NZ". The title is a bastardisation of my favourite line from the film "Benny & Joon". Italics denote Billy's internal monologue.
Oh yeah, so I forgot this bit - Disclaimer: This is not real. It is all made up. *looks at lawyers gathering outside her window* Happy now? *lawyers look a bit disappointed and wander off*
Billy was pleasantly drunk. He could feel the beer buzz loosening his aching muscles and beginning to soothe the tension that had gathered in his neck from the long days shoot. The only problem was, when Billy was drunk, the part of his brain that thought inappropriate things about his best friend took over, and, right now, that part of his brain was transfixed. The object of his brain’s obsession was sitting dead centre of the hotel bed, in one of those yoga positions, the names of which Billy couldn’t pronounce, that Dom found relaxing. Between his legs, in an area that could only be described as his crotch, Dom had placed a bowl of peanuts, which he was happily munching his way through, his eyes fixed on the TV screen, where Johnny Depp was to be found doing his best Buster Keaton impression in Benny and Joon. Billy could not tear his eyes away from the bowl of peanuts, or more specifically from Dom’s hand as it travelled from bowl to mouth and back again. It wasn’t that Billy was hungry, well, at least not for peanuts anyway, it was Dom’s hand, more than what it held, that had him so entranced.
Over and over again, Dom’s long, elegant fingers reached into the bowl, and searched around for just the right nut, then, having selected it, they travelled upwards, pausing momentarily in front of his waiting, open mouth and placed the morsel inside. Then, if that wasn’t torture enough to watch, as a finale, Dom sucked each of his fingers, slowly drawing them into his mouth one by one, and then withdrawing them equally carefully, licking his lips as he did so.
“I wish I was a peanut”
“Sorry Bills, did you say something?”
Shitfuckbollocks. Did I say that out loud? Billy’s heart raced in his chest and prickles of fear rose on the back of his neck. Think of something to say, anything… the weather that’s it talk about the weather. Just as he was about to speak he was once again distracted by Dom. This time his torturer was bringing a bottle of beer to his mouth, resting it there for just a second, before wrapping his lips around it, tilting his head back and taking a long, deep, swallow. Billy watched as a small amount of beer escaped from the side of Dom’s mouth and trickled down his chin. It was all he could do to stop himself from jumping on the man and licking the beer off his neck.
Oh God, he really had to stop this. Billy quickly turned his attention back to the TV. He had to stop thinking about Dom in ways that would make a porn star blush. This was his best mate after all, his chum, his buddy, his partner in crime, no need to complicate things by bringing sex into the equation. It wasn’t as if Dom had shown any interest in him in that way after all. This was obviously a horribly one sided crush and he had to put an end to it. Now. Billy tried to work out if his errant brain cells were getting the message. Judging by the current tightness of his trousers they weren’t listening at all. Billy quickly grabbed a cushion from the sofa he was sitting on and placed it on his lap. He really hoped he wouldn’t have to get up anytime soon. Perhaps he could explain his current state of arousal on Johnny Depp, after all, who didn’t find Johnny Depp attractive?
“It’s a nice hotel this isn’t it Bills?”
Dom’s voice broke through Billy’s musings and so, taking a deep breath, he turned to look at him once more:
“Aye Dom, it’s very nice. Makes a change to come back to a tidy room and fresh sheets after a long day on the set.” Yes! I can have a normal conversation after all. Excellent work brain, well done.
“What do you want to do with our day off tomorrow? Do you fancy going for a walk? Explore this part of the island a bit?”
I’d rather spend it in bed exploring you. Shit, evilbrain was awake again. At least this time he hadn’t spoken aloud. Billy was about to answer when his ability to speak was once again foiled by Dom, who was taking a moment to stretch out his arms above his head, his t shirt riding up as he did so exposing the start of the treasure trail that disappeared into the top of his jeans. His tight jeans. His tight jeans that encased his legs, which he was in the process of uncurling from the yoga pose and spreading out wide on the bed, that damned bowl of peanuts still nestled between them at the point where they met. Oh who was Billy kidding, it wasn’t the peanuts he was staring at…
“Billy? Hello earth to Billy!”
Billy jumped; clearly he had drifted off again. Shaking his head to clear it of thoughts of crawling up the bed in-between Dom’s legs and ridding him of his T shirt, he looked up into Dom’s amused face:
“Sorry Dom I was miles away. What did you say?”
“I asked if you wanted a peanut”
“No thanks. I’m not really hungry.” A Whole sentence! Woo! Way to go brain!
“Oh, ok. It’s just that, well, you’ve been staring at them all night. I though that maybe you wanted some.”
Billy could feel the panic rising again. Dom had noticed him staring. Quick, think of something to say..
“Billy”
Dammit too late “Yes Dom”
“Why have you got a cushion on your lap?”
Panic no longer described Billy’s state of mind. It was all he could do to stop from blushing beet red, speaking was not an option.
“Billy”
Oh God now what? Dreading the next question Billy answered: “Yes Dom?”
“What exactly do I have to do to get you to come over here and kiss me?”
Billy’s mouth dropped open in surprise as his brain gave up trying to grasp the situation and switched off entirely.
“I’ve been doing all my best work. Did you really think the way I was eating these peanuts was normal? I mean, come on Bills; we’ve been circling each other for ages now. I fancy you, I’m pretty sure you fancy me. What exactly are you waiting for? An invitation?”
As he spoke Dom moved the bowl to the table beside him and lay back on the bed, fixing Billy with a very direct stare. After taking a moment to get over his shock, Billy found that he had recovered the power of both speech and movement, so he stood up and walked slowly over to the bed:
“Sorry Dommie, I guess you were being a bit too subtle for me, an invitation would have made things easier.”
“Fine. Billy Boyd do you fancy a shag?”
It was a shame that Billy’s speech capabilities had returned as he no longer really needed them, instead he just crawled up the bed in the manner of his earlier fantasy and kissed the hell out of the man lying there. When they broke for air Dom looked at Billy and grinned:
“Billy”
“Yes Dom?”
“You can be my peanut anytime.”