(no subject)
I guess I've been delaying telling you all and quitting this community in hopes that maybe my relationship would salvage itself, but Fred and I have broken up and although there is hope of us getting back together, that will probably not happen for a long time.
Basically I broke up with him last thursday because I feel like he is not mature enough. What I mean by that is that he is 24 and still lives with his parents and still lives under their authority. I asked him last weekend if he would like to visit for the day with my sister and I in PA (5 hours from where he lives) and he went to ask his parents and after getting the answer that they would prefer if he didn't do it and him telling me no I was of course hurt because I wanted to see him. I was also upset that he couldn't make his own decision and he had to go ask his parents. I mean he is 24...he should be grown up enough to go on a trip 5 hours away for the day. When I told him that I didn't like that his parents had to make all his decisions for him he told me that they didn't, but that they would be nervous if he did go and he would rather not make them nervous. I went on to explain that when he says no to me though he hurts my feelings and so he's not finding a balance...he's only ending up pleasing them and hurting me. He said that I would understand...and of course I do...he should obey his parents (when he is a child). I am just tired of my feelings being sacraficed so his parents don't have to go outside of their comfort level. Basically I asked him to either come with me and make his parents worry about him, but do what I want for once so that I wouldn't be hurt or I would leave him...and he chose his parents. That may seem like an unreasonable request on my part, but there is a reason for it. He has actually told me before that he loves his parents more than me and I don't need to be second on his list. I could find someone that really loves me...you know? Well I told him that basically he needs to grow up and start making his own decisions and he needs to break away from his parents and realise that they are not the only people in the world and he can love someone else and if he ever realises that then maybe he and I can give it another shot. He took the breakup fine (although he did cry a lot at first) because he thinks that we will be back together soon and he doesn't really understand why I left him I don't think. I won't go back though unless he grows up, but right now im not exactly jumping at anyone. Like I said...I was hesitant to write in here because I'm sad and feel like throwing off all the things that remind me of him means that its really over...and it's very sad...2 1/2 years is a long time to just throw out and I still love him so much, but I need someone who will be serious in our relationship and serious about me and need me as terribly as I need them. I really don't need someone who needs their mom you know? I need a man not a boy. I am still sad though becaus I do love him. Oh well...I believe that God works everything out for the good and I am greatful to have been with Fred because a lot of good came out of it for both of us. And who knows...maybe someday when he grows up we will get back together...we'll see :)
x-posted in wheniloveyou
Basically I broke up with him last thursday because I feel like he is not mature enough. What I mean by that is that he is 24 and still lives with his parents and still lives under their authority. I asked him last weekend if he would like to visit for the day with my sister and I in PA (5 hours from where he lives) and he went to ask his parents and after getting the answer that they would prefer if he didn't do it and him telling me no I was of course hurt because I wanted to see him. I was also upset that he couldn't make his own decision and he had to go ask his parents. I mean he is 24...he should be grown up enough to go on a trip 5 hours away for the day. When I told him that I didn't like that his parents had to make all his decisions for him he told me that they didn't, but that they would be nervous if he did go and he would rather not make them nervous. I went on to explain that when he says no to me though he hurts my feelings and so he's not finding a balance...he's only ending up pleasing them and hurting me. He said that I would understand...and of course I do...he should obey his parents (when he is a child). I am just tired of my feelings being sacraficed so his parents don't have to go outside of their comfort level. Basically I asked him to either come with me and make his parents worry about him, but do what I want for once so that I wouldn't be hurt or I would leave him...and he chose his parents. That may seem like an unreasonable request on my part, but there is a reason for it. He has actually told me before that he loves his parents more than me and I don't need to be second on his list. I could find someone that really loves me...you know? Well I told him that basically he needs to grow up and start making his own decisions and he needs to break away from his parents and realise that they are not the only people in the world and he can love someone else and if he ever realises that then maybe he and I can give it another shot. He took the breakup fine (although he did cry a lot at first) because he thinks that we will be back together soon and he doesn't really understand why I left him I don't think. I won't go back though unless he grows up, but right now im not exactly jumping at anyone. Like I said...I was hesitant to write in here because I'm sad and feel like throwing off all the things that remind me of him means that its really over...and it's very sad...2 1/2 years is a long time to just throw out and I still love him so much, but I need someone who will be serious in our relationship and serious about me and need me as terribly as I need them. I really don't need someone who needs their mom you know? I need a man not a boy. I am still sad though becaus I do love him. Oh well...I believe that God works everything out for the good and I am greatful to have been with Fred because a lot of good came out of it for both of us. And who knows...maybe someday when he grows up we will get back together...we'll see :)
x-posted in wheniloveyou