Fic: Call it a Gift
Title: Call it a Gift
Rating: G
Word count: 1,315
Summary: Castiel's encounters with Lucifer are less confrontational than he might have imagined. In fact, Lucifer's pretty nice to him. Really nice to him...
Notes: Shameless Valentine's Day fic. I regret nothing.
It had been a couple of months, but Castiel still thought about it, more frequently than he would have liked. He would have preferred to forget the entire thing, really. He wasn’t exactly sure what it had meant, and it wasn’t exactly like he could tell anyone about it. Castiel sincerely doubted that either of the Winchester brothers would be terribly receptive to the fact that he had kissed the devil.
Well, that wasn’t entirely accurate. To be fair, Lucifer had kissed him, and frankly, Castiel still had no idea why. He’d spent countless hours evaluating his own behavior, trying to determine what he might have done to illicit such a reaction, but he thought of nothing. They had just been standing there, Castiel in a ring of holy fire and Lucifer leaning against the far wall watching him thoughtfully. The conversation had reached a stalemate some time ago. Castiel wouldn’t join Lucifer, and there was nothing Lucifer could do to change his mind. The silence hung heavy between them, and Castiel had been carefully avoiding eye contact or any other type of direct engagement for the better part of an hour. Lucifer’s gaze made him feel scrutinized, and his words had struck a nerve that Castiel didn’t even know was there. Castiel glanced around the room, feeling hopelessly anxious about the entire situation, but Lucifer remained the very image of composure. He’d stood up, with neither warning nor explanation, extinguishing the flames with a casual flick of his wrist and closing the gap between them with a few graceful strides.
“Do be careful, little brother,” he’d whispered. “You really don’t know what you’re doing.”
Any possible retort that Castiel might have thought of had been preemptively silenced by the press of Lucifer’s lips on his own. They were softer than he might have expected, pleasantly cool and dry. He could feel Lucifer’s grace reaching forward, brushing against his in an overly intimate caress. It hadn’t been at all unpleasant. In fact, Castiel had found himself feeling slightly disappointed when Lucifer stepped away, breaking contact and reigniting the ring of fire as he crossed the perimeter, but before Castiel could gather his senses enough to speak, the demon girl had shown up and Lucifer had gone.
An even bigger secret was the fact that they had seen each other a few times since then. Castiel could use the Enochian sigils to hide the Winchesters because they were human, but preventing his own fallen grace from calling out to Lucifer’s was proving to be far more difficult. At first, Castiel thought it very strange that Lucifer never seemed to come near him when he was with the brothers, but it made enough sense, the more he thought about it. It wasn’t like he was going to change sides with Sam and Dean right there, after all. He wasn’t going to change sides anyway, but maybe Lucifer was still hoping.
Generally, the encounters were brief and only in passing. Lucifer had passed Castiel on a sidewalk and given him a small nod and said simply, “hello, brother,” as he passed. Castiel’s initial reaction had been panic, but that was the extent of their interaction. Lucifer departed without any issue at all, which only served to make Castiel all the more uneasy. Once or twice, Lucifer had caught up to him while he was walking, moving to match his pace, and asked him how he was. He never asked about the boys, and more importantly, he seemed sincerely interested in what Castiel had to say.
However, it was the time they’d happened upon each other in a little store up in Westbrook, Maine. Castiel had been standing in line to buy a time card for his cell phone so that the boys could contact him. He’d been tired, which was strange for an angel, even if it wasn’t the sleeping kind, and when he reached the counter, he found himself fumbling through his coat pockets for the little fold of money he had stashed away for that purpose. He had barely begun to feel flustered when the man behind him and casually tossed a couple of bills over to the cashier. “For this,” he said, indicating his purchase, “and whatever it is he’s buying.” Castiel froze. He knew that voice. He mumbled a quick “thank you” to the cashier before turning sharply and rushing to catch Lucifer, already out the door.
“You didn’t have to do that,” he said, doubling his stride to keep up.
“I know,” Lucifer said simply.
“I’ll pay you for it.”
“I’m not terribly concerned about money.”
“I can-“
“Call it a gift, Castiel.”
“But you… I… Thank you.”
Lucifer glanced down at him, placed a hand on his shoulder, and offered a warm smile. “You’re welcome.”
Castiel had sucked in a sharp breath without meaning to. That cool press of contact made him think of the other time Lucifer had touched him, and he was sure that was something he should not be thinking about. Incidentally, he found that every time his phone rang for the next two weeks, he could think of little else, which made him increasingly flustered. A couple of times, Dean had confronted him with, “dude, what is wrong with you?” which only served to reinforce Castiel’s conclusion that this was not something he should ever talk about. He thought about it though. He thought about it a lot sometimes.
Castiel especially thought about it when he found himself gravitating towards a familiar shop up in Westbrook any time he needed to buy anything. Of course, it made no sense for Lucifer to be there again, and Castiel wasn’t entirely willing to admit that he was looking for him, but he still found himself looking at every face in the establishment anytime he went. He even found himself hesitating to hand his money over, digging in his pocket for a few extra seconds in hopes that Lucifer might show up. The cashier hardly noticed to be bothered.
“Chocolates for your sweetheart?” she drawled, bored.
Castiel looked up. “What?”
The girl tapped her finger against the display. “Valentine’s Day chocolates.”
“Oh.”
Castiel didn’t know what made him buy them. Maybe it was blind hope or a hunch or even the thought that if his grace could reach out to Lucifer’s, then maybe Lucifer’s would reach back to him. Maybe it did because he didn’t have to travel too far before he found Lucifer sitting on an abandoned park bench in thoughtful silence.
“Hello, brother,” Lucifer greeted him, as Castiel stepped forward.
Castiel didn’t respond directly. He just sat down and, after a moment of internal conflict, thrust the little red box into Lucifer’s hands.
“What’s this?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Chocolates.”
“I see that. I meant-“
“Valentine’s Day chocolates.” Castiel swallowed nervously. “Call it a gift, Lucifer…”
“Well, in that case, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Tell me something then, Castiel. Have you ever had chocolate?”
“No.”
“Neither have I. Let’s see what all the fuss is about, shall we?”
Castiel watched quietly as Lucifer carefully untied the little red bow on the box and removed the lid. Lucifer lifted a piece of dark chocolate from where it was nestled in a little foil cup and held it out in offering. Castiel took it silently and found that he quite enjoyed the taste and the way it melted in his mouth. Lucifer seemed pleased enough too. Castiel figured that this would be another such incident that he would dwell on, one that he would never be able to speak about, but in that moment, he didn’t much care. He didn’t have to think about the war or the Apocalypse or any such thing. He didn’t have to worry. For once, he got to just sit in silence and be content and not alone. He’d call it a gift.