He's just going to pretend he's giving an extremely detailed medical history. :/
1. Is there anyone on your friends list you would ever consider having sex with?
There is someone on my friends list with whom I have already engaged in sexual intercourse.
2. Sex in the morning, afternoon or night?
The early evening seems most logical, so as not to be fatigued the next day from lack of sleep.
3. What side of the bed do you sleep on?
The left.
4. Do you masturbate?
With control of the mind comes control of the body. I have no need.
5. How often? Lately?
Never.
6. Have you ever taken your clothes off for money?
No.
7. Do you prefer showers or baths?
Showers.
8. Have you ever had sex in the shower or the bath?
That seems counter-productive to the entire purpose behind bathing.
9. Do you watch/read pornography?
I once found a pornographic website and wrote a three hundred page thesis on the psychological effects that result from such an objectified portrayal of the human body.
10. Do you want someone aggressive or passive in bed?
I do not believe the attitude of the intercourse matters, rather the purpose behind it.
11. Do you love someone on your friends list?
A difficult query, as love is an extremely abstract idea. What is love?
12. Do you know all the people on your friends list?
They would not be friends otherwise.
13. Would you choose love or money?
Again, I ask, what is love? How can I choose between one thing and the other when clear definitions are not available?
14. Your top three favorite kinks in bed?
Kink? I find I enjoy having my hands, ears, and neck played with.
15. Has anyone ever gone beyond your personal line of respect sexually?
No.
16. Where is the most romantic place you have had sex?
In bed.
17. Where is the weirdest place you have had sex?
Bed? [He is clearly confused by this particular question.]
18. Have you ever been caught having sex?
No. Nor do I plan to be.
19. Have you ever been to a strip club?
Only to retrieve my captain.
20. Ever been to a bar just to get sex?
No.
21. Ever been kicked out of a bar or a club for sexual reasons?
No.
22. Ever been picked up in a bar?
You appear to be under the impression that I have a proclivity for promiscuity.
23. Have you ever kissed or had sex with someone of the same sex?
A man once kissed me. He proceeded to vomit on my uniform and pass out from near alcohol poisoning.
24. What's your sexuality?
Sexuality is a purely human concept. On vulcan there is no sexuality, only logical decision-making.
25. Had sex in a movie theater?
That would be illogical.
26. Had sex in a bathroom?
No, that would be unsanitary and uncomfortable.
27. Have you ever had sex at work?
That would be wildly inappropriate.
28. Have you ever been in an "adult" store?
This question is vague. A liquor store could constitute as being "adult".
29. Bought something from an adult store?
No.
30. Do you own any sex toys?
I see no purpose in them.
31. If yes, how many and what are they?
...
32. Does anyone have naughty pics of you or are you on film?
To be recorded whilst engaging in lewd activities would show a great lack of foresight... Vulcans are not sloppy.
33. Have you ever had sex with someone and called them the wrong name?
Absolutely not. The damage that would cause to my partners self-esteem would be long lasting.
34. Have you ever had phonesex?
No.
35. Have you ever had cybersex?
No.
36. Do you think oral sex constitutes a form of intercourse?
I am uncertain, as I have never engaged in oral sex. Theoretically, yes, as it involves a form of penetration.
37. What's your favorite sexual position?
Whichever position in which I can see my partner's face.
38. What's your favorite sex act?
My experience is too limited for any sort of declaraction.
39. Have you ever had sex with more than one person at a time?
No.
40. Who do you think has the guts to repost this?
[Eyebrow raise.] I was under the impression this was mandatory.