Wormed my way to the heart of the crowd

[themycon]

So, I didn't get kicked out on my birthday. I paid next months bills & rent, had the check clear, THEN my sister kicked me out. At least it bought me another week. And her realizing that she really can't get by without me- still blames me for her not liking the work dad gives her, his only giving her $3K/month, and people saying she should stop

Comments

[mizukaze]

Dunno if it means anything, but I've been dealing a lot with the same sort of mental struggle of just trying to figure out what to do in the future. Perhaps unlike you, my path is relatively set for the next few years, as was my tradeoff for not having to worry as much through college about how I was going to pay for tuition, where I could find a job afterwards, and many hours of my time during the week.

But after that commitment is up, I'm already thinking of what comes next. I, too, have been feeling swamped by kind of a guilt at "settling" or feeling like the effort needed to make things better far outweighs any good result. Dunno if it adds anything to the narrative or what have you, but just wanted to say that I hear you.

[richardrahl]

I feel like I've already given up on "changing the world," so to speak. I'm nowhere near as blatantly pessimistic as I was in my teenage years, but under the hopeful realist attitude I've crafted seems to be a resigned cynicism