(no subject)
hahahHAHAHA found this. cracked me up!
Sup? Time for another journey into the twisted mind of Marx. Today's subject: Why I finally understand PMS. Some of you may think, This is a frigging guy...why is he writing about PMS?? For a few simple reasons: 1, I have a girlfriend, and 2, my family is made up of mostly females. So the question had entered my mind during the second half of the Sweden-Argentina World Cup soccer game, at about 3AM (reasons unknown), and I sat and thought about it, and came up with some analysis:
1: Women bleed 3 to 6 days out of the month.
Now, I'm an athlete, and survived 2 car wrecks, I lift and run every day. But that...I dont know if I could take that. That's like getting stabbed in the same place every month and letting it heal. And they go on and work, live, and play through this. In hockey, one of the most toughest sports I've watched and played, they stop the game every time someone starts shedding blood (I know, different circumstances, but bear with me). Women know it's coming and still run with it. Nothing changes. Life goes on for them. That's freaking mind twisting. Which brings me to my second point..
2: Cramps, bloating, and other assorted pain.
The only cramps I know about are muscle cramps, so I'll compare that with these cramps. If these are like that, ouch. It hearts like hell when I get a muscle cramp while running....it feels like someone just shot me in the leg. Having these in that area near my crotch is impossible to grasp. Bloating..?? Nightmare. Let me get this straight, you feel and acually get heavier..?? Picture this guys: It's game day, 2 seconds left in the game, and youre bloated. That would suck. It would limit running, jumping, movement period. I, and all guys can play through game pain, but that....I dont know. And these things strike without warning, like remotly placed smart bombs. Dont want to think about that. Like I'm walking down the street and the pain like someone shooting me in the crotch with an arrow hits. No. Bad things would happen. Pain sucks, but random pain sucks tenfold.
3: Women discharge a placenta.
Damn. That's like something out of The Exorsist. I'm not even going there. Nope....not at all.
4. Women have an aisle to themselves for this thing.
Lites. Regulars. Supers. Heavy. From what I understand, you gauge this by how she's flowing. Flowing..?? Like blood flowing..?? (Shudder) What's next...Niagra Falls..?? Then there are things like FDS, tampons, and the like. Tampons. Oh my. I've seen those things, and from what they intend to do, there can be no way that is comfortable. That's a forign object. It doesn't need to go there. But it has to. The decisions....
5. (and last) This all happens in the region of the crotch.
Aaahhhhhh. There are some guys I know that will cry when being hit in the balls. A week of constant, severe, nonstoping pain down there..?? This has to be like blueballs, only about 100 times greater, and lasting a week. Whoa.
So I guess woman in general have a right to act the way they do when this rolls around every month. But, for the sake of all men, I hope that this doesn't occur for all women at the same time. That would be scary. I guess this kinda sums it up: my female friend Lindsay calls it "The week from Hell". Thank goodness guys dont have that week.
Moral of the story:
1. Never piss a woman off who's on her period.
2. When this time comes, do everything that you can to stay on her good side. If she has one. If not, run, run fast, and dont look back.
haha, i dont even know what to say.