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[thenervousnet]

I can remember not feeling like this. Today was just a really bad day for me. My new policy has been to be as honest as I possibly can, all of the time. Not that I used to be a great liar about events, mostly just about the way I felt. That included melying to me. But in this new found honestly I have found two things. One is my own misery.

Comments

[_rightthurr]

things'll get better.

[berriesnblonde]

But now at 20 I am more 16 then I have ever felt...

It happens. I think so many of us move on to "real life" so quickly once our high school "life" is over that we don't really transition... I also could have no idea what I'm talking about. But there's my 2 cents.

[ceredwen]

I think right now many people our age are going through a crisis. When we were younger, we thought that by being 20 and older we would automatically become adults, that we would wake up one day and be responsible mature people. We've also been told that to get anywhere in life we have to go to college. The floundering feeling you seem to have is the same one I felt when I decided to join the air force. I felt that I wasn't doing anything, I wasn't where I wanted to be in life, and I had no money for school. I think when we were younger we were lied to when it came to life, it's much harder to get to the place you want to be reguardless of which route you take. Drinking isn't going to help you. In short terms it helps you forget your problems and makes you feel a little bit better, but in long terms it keeps you from being who you want to be, where you want to end up in life. All I can do is tell you all this and hope it strikes a chord in you, don't give up on things now just because they look daunting or impossible. It's

[bigbaffle]

You know Eric, I'd never feel sorry for you. You are a capable person with reasonable concerns about who he is and where he is going in life. Were you to stop worrying about such things... then perhaps I would feel sorry for you. Take it from someone who continued down the same path you are on now + 5 years. If you take that concern, turn it into a plan and act on the items laid out in that plan... your life will change forever from that point forward. Don't share it with others, don't ask them if they think it's a good idea. These decisions are yours and no one can take them or make them for you... though they will often try. Give it a shot. Go someplace quiet with a pen and a pad. Write down 3 things that you want to have happen in the next year and some of the steps that you will have to complete to accomplish them. Follow through and take it easy on yourself. It's what I did in a terrible time of my life and it made all of the difference in the world. Teen to twenties is a huge transition and it's not easy. Expect a

cj's comment

[anonymous]

when you were eleven you were more of an adult than I am now... lame teenage things are fun, though--the more sober the better. The adult life is one of working forty shitty hours a week, going home to a shitty apartment, drinking a pint and suddenly smiling. Maybe you're sad because everyone wants you to be an adult like that and you just want to go do the things you missed out on as a kid--and more, maybe you're sad because you know as you waste time making up your mind, the chance to reconnect to those moments slips away--compounding your problems.

If I were you, I'd quit drinking and go skateboarding--its quite a surprise how clear things get after a few sober falls.