All Apologies: My Biggest Regret

[thenew20s37]

24 years ago I played a game with my first boyfriend that I'd played many times before with other friends. He and I sat in the backseat together while my mother drove us to the mall. In low tones, I rattled off a series of some of the most wildly inappropriate comments that my fourteen year-old mind could think up,

Comments

[beautyofgrey]

In the 38 years since her first hearing aid, my mother has missed the punchlines to thousands of jokes, created strange family gossip from misunderstanding, unknowingly snubbed people in passing, and laughed at inappropriate moments. That's how I really know how much she is missing. Someone at church mentions a death in the family, but she expresses it with a positive glow. "Hah hah!" my mother responds, assuming we're just making light chit chat.

This hit home for me. My father suffered hearing loss his early thirties, and while he now has hearing aids to help him, there is...so much I can relate to. My sister was diagnosed with a similar loss last year (she's 36), and I'm... sort of waiting and hoping it will pass me by.

[thenew20s37]

Sounds exactly like our family story. I hope you slip through those cracks. My heart goes out to your father and sister. I really do wish I'd been more sympathetic towards my mom.

biggest regret

[ext_258121]

"no conversation is inconsequential when you can't hear it....." how true. My own mother who is up in years has some difficulty hearing; however it's my father who is really hard of hearing. I can't tell you how often my mom and I both "yell" at him or loudly repeat words, often many times. He knows he's hard of hearing but refuses (maybe for financial reasons) to do anything about it. It inhibits him from answering the phone - and when he does the person on the other end gets blown away. We think it's a result of his working in a factory for nearly 30 years and the loud noises associated with that. Also his ability to communicate in general is not good - hasn't been for many years. I think the lack of hearing well and the ability to communicate are both related and feed off each other. Thanks for sharing this very thoughtful piece. I understand and empathize with your frustration very much.