So our decathlon coach keeps nagging us to read this thing and sort of live by it
http://money.cnn.com/magazines/fortune/fortune_archive/2006/10/30/8391794/index.htm and it's supposed to motivate me but it's not. It's really, really not. LOL. It's making me groan and go "ughh why". But it'll pass. In time, hopefully. In short, I am void of motivation because I don't know what exactly to be motivated for. I'm just not seeing the big picture, and it's just....argh. I think I'm just resenting the fact that I'm now getting behind in studies while I'm trying to have a nice little vacation from life. I came here to have a nice time, but now I'm just worrying over the stuff in the States and blah. It's making me want to curl into a little ball and cry. Which in turns wastes time that I could be using to get over my self pity and actually DO something.
*going through another "Why, why did I join decathlon, WHY" moment* I need to give myself a pep talk.
On another note, while trying to read East of Eden (incredibly fantastic so far), my uncle put on the movie Case 39. Let's just say within ten minutes East of Eden was not in my hands anymore, save for the moments I needed to divert my eyes from creepy scenes. I liked the movie, it was trippy, and genuinely frightened me because I was hoping for that demonic child to be rescued somehow but in the end none of that cheesy stuff happened and it was just...psychologically creepy (but I won't lie, I was waiting for some type of Moffuck, he's just my standard for everything now). But at the end I was like......what was the point of this? This just made me reluctant to go anywhere near children and discouraged being kind to kids rescued by social services. Sheesh.
Speaking of children, they are all around me and I want to pull out my hair because I just can't concentrate on anything with them and it's worse enough with internet distracting me and klJSDKLFJASKDLFJAKLSDJFKLADSJFKLAJDFKJ shoot me now.