1:52:43>0
See previous post for usual disclaimer
I don't have much to write actually. A lot is going on in my life and it's seven kinds of backwards and messed up... But I'm talking with people and getting through it or into it or whatever it is through healthier channels. What's happening isn't healthy, but I'm expressing it in a very satisfying way. I need advice, but I need it from people- not LJ comments... and I'm taking the time and effort to talk to the people I need to and it's going to be swell. I may finally be starting to get my feet on the ground mentally. If you know where I am you know how completely Eff-tacularly backwards that seems... but upstairs at least I finally know... I guess I finally know how I feel? I'm comfortable with it and I feel somewhat stable minded. Sort of... I think what it is... it's this:
What I'm doing upstairs and what's going on in my head are finally clearer... Might not be good or correct but I can see it and I'm in some control of it. I'm feeling positive and trying very hard to do the right thing. I'm free of my addiction and have been for a while even if I'm failing in other areas of my life. I FEEL like my head is on straight and that means soooooo much right now...
What's going on outside my head is SUPA-Effed. The world is damn near fallin' down around me with things I don't feel the need to express here. I'm going to deal with them to the best of my ability and like I said, talk to folk about it. It's bad and I'm mostly in the wrong, but I'm doing what I can about righting it or figuring out at least how to not make it worse. I'm gonna be the hero² I know I'm meant to be... I KNOW I'm supposed to be a good person who doesn't compromise and isn't weak. I've done my share of both and I don't like the outcome; Lesson learned. I'm not that guy and I won't be anymore... and I'll be more understanding of people which is something I need because I've been so judgmental of people in the past. I'm bettering myself- it just doesn't seem like it- especially to the people involved (and some not involved) in my life right now. I'll make it all right somehow... I always have. "Things'll get better. They always do." I've never said it without meaning it and I mean it now.
Also, R.Y.A. stands for Remember Your Acronyms.
I don't have much to write actually. A lot is going on in my life and it's seven kinds of backwards and messed up... But I'm talking with people and getting through it or into it or whatever it is through healthier channels. What's happening isn't healthy, but I'm expressing it in a very satisfying way. I need advice, but I need it from people- not LJ comments... and I'm taking the time and effort to talk to the people I need to and it's going to be swell. I may finally be starting to get my feet on the ground mentally. If you know where I am you know how completely Eff-tacularly backwards that seems... but upstairs at least I finally know... I guess I finally know how I feel? I'm comfortable with it and I feel somewhat stable minded. Sort of... I think what it is... it's this:
What I'm doing upstairs and what's going on in my head are finally clearer... Might not be good or correct but I can see it and I'm in some control of it. I'm feeling positive and trying very hard to do the right thing. I'm free of my addiction and have been for a while even if I'm failing in other areas of my life. I FEEL like my head is on straight and that means soooooo much right now...
What's going on outside my head is SUPA-Effed. The world is damn near fallin' down around me with things I don't feel the need to express here. I'm going to deal with them to the best of my ability and like I said, talk to folk about it. It's bad and I'm mostly in the wrong, but I'm doing what I can about righting it or figuring out at least how to not make it worse. I'm gonna be the hero² I know I'm meant to be... I KNOW I'm supposed to be a good person who doesn't compromise and isn't weak. I've done my share of both and I don't like the outcome; Lesson learned. I'm not that guy and I won't be anymore... and I'll be more understanding of people which is something I need because I've been so judgmental of people in the past. I'm bettering myself- it just doesn't seem like it- especially to the people involved (and some not involved) in my life right now. I'll make it all right somehow... I always have. "Things'll get better. They always do." I've never said it without meaning it and I mean it now.
Also, R.Y.A. stands for Remember Your Acronyms.