Howl: a songfic
Title: Howl
Author: Kris
Pairing: Billie/Mike
Rating: R
Prompt: Calendar
Notes: “Howl” and its lyrics belong to Florence Welch. If you haven’t listened to Florence + the Machine yet, I highly recommend that you do. Her music is beautiful.
“If you could only see the beast you've made of me
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free
Screaming in the dark, I howl when we're apart
Drag my teeth across your chest to taste your beating heart”
His skin was a mess. The numerous transformations had torn and reshaped his entire being; turning his once beautiful tattooed flesh into a mash-up of colored scar tissue. But I couldn’t bear to say no to the man I had once loved with all my heart. Couldn’t bear to do what I knew I should. Every time I went back to him, my gun never left my side. Words were never spoken, but he knew it was there.
“My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in
You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to howl
My fingers claw your skin, try to tear my way in
You are the moon that breaks the night for which I have to
Howl, howl
Howl, howl”
This time he’s seated on top of me, smiling. I run my fingertips along his stomach, smiling back and trying my hardest not to gag. This isn’t love anymore; it’s now lust that teeters on the brink of murderous rage. At any moment, he could choose to end my life and I’m fine with that. It is my fault that he’s like this and I would whole-heartedly consider my death as payment for his monthly torture. But I think...no, I know he keeps me alive just for the pain it causes me.
“Now there's no holding back, I'm making to attack
My blood is singing with your voice, I want to pour it out
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'ed ground
Like some child possessed, the beast howls in my veins
I want to find you, tear out all of your tenderness
And howl, howl
Howl, howl”
“Have you looked at the calendar lately?” his voice is all gravel and rust now. Nothing like that of the angel I used to know. I try to pull away at its sound, but he holds my attention with a single ragged fingernail dragging up my straining erection.
“Shit Bill...did I...miss our anniversary...again?” I really hope that’s it, but in the back of my mind I know the real answer.
Somehow he’s managed to work his way into my brain. I can feel him in there, like little fingers prying apart my grey matter. He grins again, awful misshapen gums and teeth stare down at me. This time I do gag a bit, trying to pass it off as a cough and hoping it wasn’t noticeable.
“Nope,” his grin seems to split his face in two, “Full. Moon.” Those last two words were punctuated with downward thrusts. As much as I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to enjoy it this time.
His nose had started to bleed. His moans sounded like howls. The transformation had begun.
“Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters
Hunters, hunters, hunters
Hunters, hunters, hunters”
The tables had turned and now he was tied to the bedposts. He thrashed around, still not able to break free. I knew they wouldn’t hold for long, but they afforded me a few extra minutes. I moved to grab my gun off the nightstand and he lunged, the ropes yanking him back to the bed.
All gnashing teeth and spit blood, “I can taste your heartbeat,” he snarled. The Billie who had been here but minutes before was already gone. He sank back down onto the dirty mattress.
He whined deep in his throat when I made to leave. Startled by the sadness behind it, I turned one last time.
“Please don’t leave me,” the gravel had turned to dust, “It hurts so bad.” Blood was now seeping out of his mouth and ears to mingle with that from his nose.
I shook my head. I knew this was just part of the game; as soon as he was no longer human, I would become nothing more than a meal. It had almost happened the first time I had witnessed his transformation and this time I was going to leave with my life.
“The fabric of your flesh, pure as a wedding dress
Until I wrap myself inside your arms I cannot rest
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'ed ground
And howl”
With the door securely shut behind me and blocked with a dresser, I grabbed my keys and went outside. I don’t know if it was the flimsy two doors and four walls separating us, or him in my mind, but I could still hear his screams. I knew what was happening to him and just the thought of it finally brought up the contents of my stomach that I had been holding down for so long.
Inside, Billie’s body was arching off the mattress as far as the ropes would allow. His bones were snapping and fusing back together. Teeth turned into fangs and nails into daggers as a wiry coat sprang up everywhere; skin was splitting and sewing itself back up. All parts reforming themselves into a hideous new configuration. One that would test the imagination of even the most hardened master of horror.
I drove as fast as I could to get away, knowing that no destination would be far enough.
“Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers
Starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters
A man who's pure of heart and says his prayers by night
May still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright
If you could only see the beast you've made of me
I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free
The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound
I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallow'ed ground”
I was miles away by the time the change was complete. The rope lay in tatters and the mattress was stained with a massive amount of blood. The beast plucked the door from its hinges like a toy. Raising his nose to the wind, he sniffed out his friend’s trail and took off into the night.