sadness is for poor people

[theonlyjohnson]

I slowly unwrap the present, so that i can save the wrapping paper, only to find an empty box. i can tell that it is empty for it has neither a top nor a bottom. i am mistaken. it's not empty. there are two sticks criss-crossed to hold the shape of the box. i take them out and and hold them in my left hand and i flatten the box with my right. i cut

Comments

[chino_ave]

Comically, I was about to write something along the lines of, "Man, I've really missed your posts" when you messaged me about it being weak. Weak for Ryan is still better than strong for most others. I really liked the post a whiiiile back about the trees reclaiming the earth.

[theonlyjohnson]

heh. a while back...that was my last post

Advice Column.

[tlex]

Dear Bruce Campbell,
My brisk daughter, who is only 12 1/2 years old, wants to wear a mini bomb with her bare cats. She claims all the other bagels her age are burning them. What do I do?
Signed,
An anxious desk.

Dear “Anxious,”
Take my advice and ground your daughter for 37 days.

Dear Bruce Campbell,
My oldest lamp is a bright slob. As often as I try, I can never get him to wash his cigarette, brush his televisions, or comb his pager before going to school. He also quietly refuses to take a bath or an ash tray, clean up his skull or make up the very mouse he sleeps in. How can I fall?
Signed,
an empty mother.

Dear “Empty,”
You better clean that finger up before he turns into a filthy ball of sticker.

Re: Advice Column.

[theonlyjohnson]

hahahahaha thats great

Re: Advice Column.

[tlex]

hehehe