Kanjani8 - Five Grease AU's No One Will Ever Write
Title: Five Grease AU's No One Will Ever Write
Fandom: Kanjani8/Grease
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lots. XD
Disclaimer: This is a very fictional situation.
Notes: I mostly blame elyndys. >_>
1. "Tell me more," Yoko says.
"Tell me more," Maru echoes.
"Hey," Subaru says, running a comb through his hair. "All you gotta know is she was hot, blond and--"
"Puts out?" Yoko asks.
"I'm a gentleman," Subaru says.
"Sure you are," says Hina, taking Subaru's comb and running it through his own hair.
Because Yoko and Maru enjoy living vicariously through Subaru, they question him relentlessly about this mystery girl. To which Subaru only gives vague answers like that wavy-handed universal gesture for "curvy woman" and the also universal "jerking off" hand motion which earns him a detention when he does it in front of the principal.
Maybe in some part of their minds, they think Subaru is lying, but it all starts to come together when a mysterious foreign blond turns up at the school and it's all anyone can talk about. None of them can seem to catch a glimpse of her first hand.
The gang meets at the pep rally, all needing to make an appearance to appease teachers and classmates alike. Everyone is still talking about the blond and word is spreading as quickly as the bonfire consumes the kindling.
"Where did you say she was from again?" Maru asks.
But Hina butts in before Subaru can answer. "You gotta see this," Hina says.
They go out to the end of the parking lot where Hina produces the least exciting thing any of them have ever seen.
"It's a car," Yoko says.
"It's not just a car," Hina says.
"You have, like, five of them."
"This one is obviously make-out city," Hina says.
"Hey guys..." Maru says, trying to direct their attention to someone approaching, but they're too busy bickering about whether this car can get more chicks or the last one Hina bought.
Subaru lights a cigarette, then suddenly his eyes grow wide.
"Guys?" Maru says.
"Shota?" Subaru says, quietly.
"Shibuyan?!"
Hina and Yoko look at each other, then at Subaru.
"You said she was blond," Hina says.
"Yeah, and?" Subaru says.
"....you said she was blond," Hina says.
Subaru takes a long drag off of his cigarette.
"Well, whatever," he says.
2.Yoko finds Subaru in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror.
"What is it?" Yoko asks.
Subaru sighs. "I feel like a defective typewriter," he says.
"Huh?" Yoko asks.
"Never mind," Subaru says. Yoko shrugs, and starts walking out of the bathroom, only barely noticing Subaru rubbing his belly, and deciding it's better not to ask.
3. "Why do you like him so much anyway?" Ohkura asks, applying the last of the cucumber mask to his face. He gives himself a good look in the mirror and puckers his lips.
"Well he's just..." Maru says, with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"He's a little violent, don't you think?" Yasu asks, brushing Uchi's hair.
Maru sighs.
"Exactly," Ohkura says, rolling his eyes a little.
"He's the strongest tsukkomi in school..." Maru says.
"That's nothing." Ohkura pulls out his wallet, flips it open and roughly five billion pictures of various men come spilling out.
"You've added some since the last time..." Yasu says.
"Slut," Uchi mutters.
"This one was the strongest tsukkomi in Osaka," he says. "And this one," he points at a particularly burly looking guy, "was the strongest in all of Honshu."
Ohkura looks a little smug, but Maru's off daydreaming.
"Doesn't matter," Yasu says. "I think he's in love."
"Obviously," Uchi says. "I know that look."
"Jeez," Ohkura says. "You'd think it was his first."
Maru snaps back into reality.
"...wait, is it your..."
Maru turns about as red as Uchi's lip gloss.
He slips out while everyone is laughing and making fun of him, but they have to have been in love with someone sometime right? They have to know what it feels like. He can't help it if it's the best tsukkomi he's ever had, and can't help it if he feels so devoted in such a hopeless kind of way.
(And thankfully only Yasu is around to hear the song. Maru knows he won't tell.)
4. Yasu walks in with pink toenails. He's wearing pink sandals and purple pants and the entire length of his torso looks like a fuzzy ice cream cone. He's got a colorful hat, and fingernails of every color of the rainbow, and when Hina and Maru look at him (utterly horrified), he's a little confused.
"What?" Yasu asks, tilting his head to the side.
"You know we're supportive of your... um," Hina says.
"...creativity," Maru says, helpfully.
"But, uh..."
"We think you..."
"What?" Yasu says, impatiently.
"We think you should, uh, rethink your career path," Hina blurts out.
"What? Why?!" Yasu says, deflated. Even the little ice cream cone prop in his hand appears to wilt a little.
"La," Maru says.
"La la la," Hina follows.
"La la la. Beauty school dropou--"
"Hey!"
5. "Tell me about it," Uchi says, putting the cigarette out with his stiletto. "Stud."
Ryo looks over at the rest of the guys, who are all laughing their asses off (except for Maru who has his hands hopefully clasped in front of him).
Ryo looks at them, back at Uchi, wonders if he wishes hard enough he'll disappear.
"Well?" Uchi says, his red liptsick giving the appearance of the most perfect pout.
Ryo sighs, resigned. "I got chiiiiiiills..."
Fandom: Kanjani8/Grease
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lots. XD
Disclaimer: This is a very fictional situation.
Notes: I mostly blame elyndys. >_>
1. "Tell me more," Yoko says.
"Tell me more," Maru echoes.
"Hey," Subaru says, running a comb through his hair. "All you gotta know is she was hot, blond and--"
"Puts out?" Yoko asks.
"I'm a gentleman," Subaru says.
"Sure you are," says Hina, taking Subaru's comb and running it through his own hair.
Because Yoko and Maru enjoy living vicariously through Subaru, they question him relentlessly about this mystery girl. To which Subaru only gives vague answers like that wavy-handed universal gesture for "curvy woman" and the also universal "jerking off" hand motion which earns him a detention when he does it in front of the principal.
Maybe in some part of their minds, they think Subaru is lying, but it all starts to come together when a mysterious foreign blond turns up at the school and it's all anyone can talk about. None of them can seem to catch a glimpse of her first hand.
The gang meets at the pep rally, all needing to make an appearance to appease teachers and classmates alike. Everyone is still talking about the blond and word is spreading as quickly as the bonfire consumes the kindling.
"Where did you say she was from again?" Maru asks.
But Hina butts in before Subaru can answer. "You gotta see this," Hina says.
They go out to the end of the parking lot where Hina produces the least exciting thing any of them have ever seen.
"It's a car," Yoko says.
"It's not just a car," Hina says.
"You have, like, five of them."
"This one is obviously make-out city," Hina says.
"Hey guys..." Maru says, trying to direct their attention to someone approaching, but they're too busy bickering about whether this car can get more chicks or the last one Hina bought.
Subaru lights a cigarette, then suddenly his eyes grow wide.
"Guys?" Maru says.
"Shota?" Subaru says, quietly.
"Shibuyan?!"
Hina and Yoko look at each other, then at Subaru.
"You said she was blond," Hina says.
"Yeah, and?" Subaru says.
"....you said she was blond," Hina says.
Subaru takes a long drag off of his cigarette.
"Well, whatever," he says.
2.Yoko finds Subaru in the bathroom, staring at himself in the mirror.
"What is it?" Yoko asks.
Subaru sighs. "I feel like a defective typewriter," he says.
"Huh?" Yoko asks.
"Never mind," Subaru says. Yoko shrugs, and starts walking out of the bathroom, only barely noticing Subaru rubbing his belly, and deciding it's better not to ask.
3. "Why do you like him so much anyway?" Ohkura asks, applying the last of the cucumber mask to his face. He gives himself a good look in the mirror and puckers his lips.
"Well he's just..." Maru says, with a dreamy look in his eyes.
"He's a little violent, don't you think?" Yasu asks, brushing Uchi's hair.
Maru sighs.
"Exactly," Ohkura says, rolling his eyes a little.
"He's the strongest tsukkomi in school..." Maru says.
"That's nothing." Ohkura pulls out his wallet, flips it open and roughly five billion pictures of various men come spilling out.
"You've added some since the last time..." Yasu says.
"Slut," Uchi mutters.
"This one was the strongest tsukkomi in Osaka," he says. "And this one," he points at a particularly burly looking guy, "was the strongest in all of Honshu."
Ohkura looks a little smug, but Maru's off daydreaming.
"Doesn't matter," Yasu says. "I think he's in love."
"Obviously," Uchi says. "I know that look."
"Jeez," Ohkura says. "You'd think it was his first."
Maru snaps back into reality.
"...wait, is it your..."
Maru turns about as red as Uchi's lip gloss.
He slips out while everyone is laughing and making fun of him, but they have to have been in love with someone sometime right? They have to know what it feels like. He can't help it if it's the best tsukkomi he's ever had, and can't help it if he feels so devoted in such a hopeless kind of way.
(And thankfully only Yasu is around to hear the song. Maru knows he won't tell.)
4. Yasu walks in with pink toenails. He's wearing pink sandals and purple pants and the entire length of his torso looks like a fuzzy ice cream cone. He's got a colorful hat, and fingernails of every color of the rainbow, and when Hina and Maru look at him (utterly horrified), he's a little confused.
"What?" Yasu asks, tilting his head to the side.
"You know we're supportive of your... um," Hina says.
"...creativity," Maru says, helpfully.
"But, uh..."
"We think you..."
"What?" Yasu says, impatiently.
"We think you should, uh, rethink your career path," Hina blurts out.
"What? Why?!" Yasu says, deflated. Even the little ice cream cone prop in his hand appears to wilt a little.
"La," Maru says.
"La la la," Hina follows.
"La la la. Beauty school dropou--"
"Hey!"
5. "Tell me about it," Uchi says, putting the cigarette out with his stiletto. "Stud."
Ryo looks over at the rest of the guys, who are all laughing their asses off (except for Maru who has his hands hopefully clasped in front of him).
Ryo looks at them, back at Uchi, wonders if he wishes hard enough he'll disappear.
"Well?" Uchi says, his red liptsick giving the appearance of the most perfect pout.
Ryo sighs, resigned. "I got chiiiiiiills..."