Kanjani8 - Fantasy - Subaru/Yasu, Yoko/Maru
Title: Fantasy
Fandom: Kanjani8
Rating: PG
Pairing: Subaru/Yasu, Yoko/Maru
Disclaimer: This is a fictional situation.
Notes: This is a remix of Fantasist by parsnipchip for jentfic_remix. ♥ It's part of the naniwa_hospital 'verse. ;)
They always come in threes. First it’s Maru, usually, and he comes in beat up and smiling. Then it’s that Ohkura guy who always seems to hurt himself somehow (falling, running into things, minor burns). Once the two of them are securely in their hospital beds, Subaru always knows that blond guy, Yasuda, will be checking in soon.
Maru arrives on a Monday and he’s in true Maru form. Torn ligaments and all, he’s still smiling and especially happy to see Subaru and the other nurse Kimi.
“Do you think we should tell him this time?” Kimi asks when Subaru sees him at the nurse’s station.
Subaru remembers when he first met Kimi a couple of years ago. They both started working at the hospital around the same time. Subaru knew, the moment he saw Kimi, that he was a guy dressed as a woman. But Subaru didn’t question it because he was doing the exact same thing. It was kind of thrilling, having everyone think he was a woman. And he remembers back when he used to work as a man, how the patients were so much less cordial to him then.
Plus, he’s hot. No one can deny that.
He’s seen Kimi after their shift when he’s dressed in torn-up jeans and baggy T-shirts. He’s not a bad-looking guy at all, but something about dressing as a woman really suits him. It must be his soft skin and his full lips. Soon after they both started working there, Dr. Murakami noticed, too. Subaru wonders how long it took for him to realize the truth.
It turns into a game with Subaru. Every time he has a new patient who acts like he’s interested in Subaru for more than purely medical reasons, he tries to guess if they’ll figure it out. He has a running competition with Kimi - how many are still left fooled at the end of the day. But, unlike Subaru, Kimi has a thing where he likes to get them all wrapped up around his finger and then tell them. And he only tells the ones he likes.
So, Maru arrives on a Monday and then Ohkura the Tuesday after. Ohkura had some kind of incident that left him all bruised up, but he isn’t willing to give the details about it. Subaru’s used to Ohkura’s whining by now, so he patches him up without too many questions. Ohkura is in the category of “ probably doesn’t know”. He’s not the observant type.
It takes a few days, and Subaru starts wondering if the third one will show at all. Wednesday and Thursday pass without any notable occurrences. And then it’s Friday and Subaru is with Kimi organizing his charts for the morning.
“Looks like your favorite is here,” Kimi says, pulling a chart off of his stack and tossing it toward Subaru. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were behind this. Do you have a hit out on the poor guy?”
“I could say the same for your regulars,” Subaru says, sweetly, but he genuinely grins when he opens up Yasuda Shota’s folder.
Yasuda is just as accident-prone as Maru and Ohkura, but his injuries aren’t quite as pitiful as the other two. He’s more of the active type, and the last time he came in was for an ankle sprain that happened while he was out surfing. Yasuda is so easy to tease that Subaru just couldn’t resist it. He smacked him on the head and gave him torturous shots, not anything that would disturb his ankle. And Yasuda groaned and tried to act pathetic, but Subaru knew well enough to know he was lying. Men like getting beat up by pretty nurses (except Ohkura whose “stop it~” is entirely genuine). But this time Yasu’s in worse shape. He’s got a cast on one arm and is groggy from medication. He looks at Subaru hazily when he comes in, and Subaru’s face falls.
---
The highlight of Kimi’s day is telling Maru the truth. He can’t stop giggling about it in the lunchroom. It was funny, Subaru will give him that, and the look on Maru’s face was priceless. But it isn’t like it’s something Kimi has never done before.
“I think I’m going to visit him later,” Kimi says. “He looked like he’d be up for it, don’t you think?”
Subaru lifts an eyebrow. Kimi’s really just a tease when it comes down to it. He just likes to get men excited, but he doesn’t follow through on it. Other than with Dr. Murakami, but Subaru suspects that Kimi really likes him much more than he’s willing to admit to anyone. So it’s surprising for Kimi to suggest it. But they are on the late shift the next day, and Maru’s not set for discharge until the day after that.
Thankfully Yasuda looks a little better when Subaru goes in to see him that morning. He’s sitting up and eating with his good hand. And he’s just as gorgeous as Subaru remembers him being the last time.
“Good morning!” Yasuda says, brightly.
Subaru puts on his work-smile and opens Yasuda’s chart to the blank sheet where he’ll need to write down his vitals.
“What was it this time?” Subaru says, trying to sound gruff and only barely succeeding. “Were you out swimming with sharks?”
“Rock climbing,” Yasuda says sheepishly.
“Maybe you need to try out some safer sports…”
“But how am I going to get better at them unless I try?” Yasuda smiles.
He takes Yasuda’s temperature, then wraps the cuff around his arm to take his blood pressure. The problem with Yasuda is that Subaru is off his game around him. He’s just as good at being an enticing female nurse as Kimi is, but Yasuda’s so attractive that it’s hard to concentrate on his work let alone his play. Yasuda is in the “definitely does not know” category. But he’s also in the “probably gay” category, which would work to Subaru’s advantage if he weren’t so convincing at being a girl.
Subaru curses to himself. It’s so much easier to deal with Yasuda when he can smack him around.
---
It’s just as well that Kimi is distracted with Maru because Subaru doesn’t want to hear the end of it for visiting Yasuda’s room that night. He’s afraid Kimi might want to turn it into a challenge, and then Subaru won’t be able to back down. Or Kimi might just find it an excuse to make more remarks about Subaru spreading his legs for everyone. Like he’d be one to talk.
“Are you sure you should be doing that with an injured man?” Subaru asks, dryly.
“He’s not that injured,” Kimi says, fluffing up his fake boobs.
“And he knows those aren’t real…”
“What? A girl can’t look her best?” Kimi whirls around. “And what’s your problem anyway!?”
“…nothing.”
“You’re usually in a better mood when that Yasuda guy is here.” He stands close to the mirror while he puts on the last of his makeup.
And that’s the problem. But he’s not going to tell Kimi that.
Kimi at least waits until after his shift is over to make his way down the hall to Maru’s room. Subaru watches the door close behind him.
---
He doesn’t primp in front of the mirror like Kimi does, but he isn’t going to Yasuda’s room for that. He’s still on the clock and while Maru would surely embellish his injuries to stay in the hospital long enough for a night alone with Kimi, Yasuda is really hurt. So badly that Subaru can’t even think about making a move. He shouldn’t be thinking about making a move on his patients anyway, but this is a special case…
He takes his instruments to Yasdua’s room. Evening vital check, but the hospital is so quiet it feels more like the middle of the night. (He guesses that with Kimi occupied, the difference is noticeable.)
But when Subaru gets to the room, Yasuda is asleep. Everything becomes a little unprofessional from there. He lays down his instruments and stands at the window with his back to Yasuda’s bed. He should wake Yasuda up, take his pulse, his temperature, everything else. But he’s sleeping and probably needs to rest. There are bruises on his arm above the cast and his fingers are red and swollen. He’s also got bruises on his face and neck, and Subaru wonders how bad of a fall it really was.
Maybe he doesn’t want to see Yasuda in here ever again if this is the way he has to see him. The view from Yasuda’s room isn’t great. Subaru watches the street lights reflect off of the passing traffic. It’s noisy outside, but the thick windows keep out most of the sound. Most of the patients don’t complain about it, anyway. Yasuda sleeps so soundly that Subaru wonders if he'll ever wake up.
He wonders what Yasuda is like outside of the hospital. Does he have a lot of friends? He seems like the type. He’s so outgoing and friendly it seems like people would be drawn to him. Does he have a boyfriend? Probably. Why would a guy like this be unattached? Subaru is a fool for even thinking about Yasuda the way he does, but it’s not like he can help it.
Subaru gathers his things and leaves the room, going to make the rest of his rounds and hoping Yasuda will be awake by the time he gets back.
---
Kimi is in the break room when Subaru sits down to have some water and an energy bar. All of his coworkers are constantly bothering him to eat more, but anything else makes him feel sluggish, and as a nurse he needs to be quick on his feet. Anyway, Kimi eats enough for the both of them. He sits alone at a small table, eating some cafeteria pudding and looking a little dreamy as if he’s just woken up.
His wig is a little disheveled, and it certainly doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened, and the fact that it’s so obvious only makes Subaru picture it more easily. Maru is a total M, so he probably wanted Kimi to be in charge. Subaru wonders if Kimi was rough with him. Maru would have surely liked that, but hopefully Kimi was at least careful about it.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Subaru asks, his voice thick with mock disapproval.
“I felt a little bad waking him up, but he really didn’t mind.” Kimi licks the end of his spoon and Subaru wonders if he’s doing it so lewdly on purpose. Then figures of course he probably is. Kimi’s not bad at it, not at all. Subaru thinks he might want to have a nurse like Kimi if he were a guy who wound up in the hospital. Kimi is good at being the fantasy of the hot unattainable nurse. Subaru fits the role, too. And they’re best as a team.
Though now he wonders if that poor Maru is going to throw himself down the stairs just so he can be hospitalized again. Subaru wouldn’t put it past him.
“And before you say it,” Kimi says. “I did it this time.”
“Yeah, obviously. I can tell by the rat’s nest on your head.”
“Hey! This thing isn’t cheap.”
“Not compared to the girl wearing it.”
“Can we… cut it out for just a minute?” Kimi asks.
Subaru’s about to feign ignorance, but Kimi looks like he actually has something to say, so he pulls off the façade (something he seems to be doing too often today) and listens.
“I told him to call me after he’s discharged… Was that a bad idea?”
“Ah~ So our Kimiko is growing up then? I heard that you won’t even see Dr. Murakami outside of work!”
“Who told you that?!”
“He did! He’ll tell anyone close enough to listen. Or maybe he just likes me~”
Kimi grumbles. “Well I don’t know. Maru’s a nice guy and he’s always getting beat up. I figured I’d be generous.”
But Subaru knows this isn’t just charity, so he doesn’t say anything else.
---
If he could be as bold as Kimi, he’d walk into Yasuda’s room and wake him right up. Yasuda is in worse shape than Maru, but certainly Subaru could do something to relax him, make him feel better. He’s never seen Yasuda without cuts and bruises (wonders if he’s ever in a state like that at all…) but he thinks about what he might like to do to Yasuda when he’s healthy and that just starts the thoughts flooding into his mind.
Yasuda looks sweet and innocent, but Subaru knows he has a wilder side. If he likes so many dangerous sports, then he has to be at least a little dangerous in the bedroom. Subaru wonders what Yasuda would let him do.
He makes his way down the long hallway again. All of his other patients are taken care of for the night, but there are still blank spaces on Yasuda’s chart where his evening vitals should be.
Yasuda is still asleep when Subaru comes back, but this time Subaru doesn’t hesitate.
“Yo, Yasuda,” he whispers at first, then realizes that isn’t doing any good. “Oy!” he says loudly, nudging Yasuda on the shoulder.
“Eh?” Yasuda sits up on his elbow, rubbing his eyes with one hand. “What?”
“Wake up~” Subaru says, trying to put on his sweetest voice, but he’s so wound up over this that he can tell it isn’t convincing. “Time to take your vitals.”
“Okay,” Yasuda says, groggily. He tries to lift the arm with the cast, probably forgetting for a moment about the injury. “OW.”
“Careful!” Subaru says. “Just…just relax, okay?”
Even he’s surprised by how gentle he sounds. Damn this stupid Yasuda for coming in all banged up like this. Doesn’t he know he’s supposed to come with a few minor injuries so that Subaru can tease and play with him? He’s not supposed to come in legitimately hurt. Subaru is a trained nurse, of course, but maybe working on this ward for so long has desensitized him. He and Kimi don’t get the real difficult cases. Or maybe it’s just that Subaru doesn’t see any of his other patients the way he does Yasuda.
He takes Yasuda’s temperature, then takes his pulse. He pulls out the stethoscope and listens to his heart. Yasuda seems tense, but Subaru is even more so. Now he just wants to get this over with and get out. The longer he stays, the more likely Yasuda is to figure out that something is up.
But then again, he’s still firmly in the “does not know” category regarding Subaru’s gender. Maybe he wouldn’t notice even if Subaru was more blatant about it. Maybe he’ll never notice at all.
“Done,” Subaru says. “You can go back to sleep now.”
He takes the cold stethoscope off of Yasuda’s chest and Yasuda rubs the spot where it was just a moment before. He packs everything up, hangs his stethoscope back around his neck, and starts to leave.
“I…” Yasuda starts. “I um.”
Subaru stops at the door, not sure if he should turn around or not. “Yes?”
“My friends…” Yasuda says. “They all make fun of me.”
Subaru chuckles. “You know this isn’t a psychiatric hospital, right?”
“I… I know,” Yasuda says. “But they all make fun of me because I told them I don’t mind being in the hospital if I get to see the cute nurse that works here.”
Subaru is probably turning some shade of red (mostly out of embarrassment for Yasuda; what kind of a confession is this?!) so he holds onto the doorknob, ready to turn it at any moment if it gets too weird.
“Only…” Yasuda goes on, clearly not knowing when to stop. “They probably all assume it’s a male nurse.”
“So it’s not, then?” Subaru says into the door.
“No,” Yasuda says. “Not at all. But I like her. I mean, I don’t like breaking bones or being sick or hurt, but… I think I get better ten times faster because she takes care of m-”
“Stop it!” Subaru says.
Silence except for the sound of someone wheeling a cart outside.
Part of being a fantasy is that he can't ever become reality. That's the whole point, and one he keeps forgetting whenever he's in Yasuda's room. Yasuda keeps breaking past Subaru’s persona, the one he’s so carefully crafted. He holds onto the doorknob with a tight fist, turning it from side to side, nervously.
He's pissed off at himself for letting this happen. Pissed off at Yasuda for seeing through him like that.
But he hasn't, Subaru thinks. Yasuda hasn't seen him at all.
“You’re a real idiot, aren’t you,” Subaru says. Then he leaves.
---
Maru stays in the hospital one more day. He’s discharged on a Saturday and remarks that it’s his day off anyway -- it couldn’t be more well-timed. Subaru likes flirting with Maru, so he’s sure to get in a few naughty remarks before he leaves for good (or until the next time a bunch of kids beat him up). He even takes his time getting Maru’s discharge paperwork together so he can lean close to him on the bed. Maru grins at him the whole time.
“You know I always hate to leave!” Maru whines.
“I know, I know,” Subaru says. “But you know you’ll be back soon enough.”
“I’m starting to wonder if I should wear a helmet…”
“We all know you won’t.” Subaru winks.
“Well I’ll miss you anyway,” Maru says. “Tell Kimiko I said so, too~”
“He’s off the next few days,” Subaru says, still checking boxes and writing notes on Maru’s chart. “But you should know that.”
Maru turns about five shades of red and Subaru nudges him until he gets up off the bed.
---
Subaru tries to avoid Yasuda, but there isn’t much he can do when Kimi is off and he’s the only nurse on the shift. He gets around it by only coming to Yasuda’s room when he’s compromised somehow. He comes when it’s late and he knows Yasuda will be sleeping or he comes when the doctor is talking to him, so that he can slip in and out without having to speak to Yasuda at all. Today he comes in just after Yasuda has taken his pain medication, so he’ll be too out of it to try to talk to Subaru anyway. It’s not like Subaru can go on forever like this, but he’ll stall as long as he can.
What’s he so afraid of anyway? Maybe it’s that Yasuda feels that way, and he thinks he might feel the same, and it makes his chest feel tight, his shoulders tense. And he doesn’t want to have to have the awkward conversation about what’s really under his skirt.
It’s so easy being a fantasy for the men who come into the hospital. He doesn’t have to follow through on anything, and they never have to know. He can be an anonymous fantasy. He prefers it that way. And he loves the idea of being so widely desired. Going further with these men isn’t the point at all.
But with Yasuda, he wants to do stupid things like curl up his bed and feel his chest and arms and face without needing a piece of medical equipment as an excuse to do it. And he has stupid reactions like his heart doing flips the last time he really talked to Yasuda. He’s a hot nurse. Just a fantasy. And none of this is supposed to be happening at all.
---
When Kimi comes back from his days off, Subaru can finally avoid Yasuda properly. He makes excuses, offers to take over some of Kimi’s patients, even offers to do all of Kimi’s filing at the end of the day. It doesn’t take long for Kimi to figure it out.
“Would you stop avoiding him?” Kimi says. “I don’t know what you’re freaking out about, but you have a job to do, you know…”
“You’re just as good a nurse as I am…”
“What? I’m so much better!”
“Sluttier isn’t better!”
“Hey, you know what? I know exactly how to solve all of this. Right now.”
Then he takes off down the hall.
“Wait!” Subaru yells after him, high heels clacking on the linoleum floors. But he’s way too late. Kimi disappears into Yasuda’s room and Subaru nearly crumbles.
The thing is, it’s no secret among the hospital staff that Kimi and Subaru aren’t really girls. But it’s sort of at thing that everyone knows but doesn’t really talk about. Whenever a new male staff member comes in and starts talking about asking one of them out, someone who has been around longer takes them aside and says not to bother. The only real exception being Dr. Murakami, but Kimi is the one who went after him.
Subaru doesn’t know why he’s so self-conscious about Yasuda, but maybe it’s that at work he can be one person and at home he's another. (It makes more sense to me this way, but I guess it depends on which persona you're trying emphasize, if that makes sense.) It’s easier to go through the day with a mask on. But he’s already formed an attachment with Kimi, whether he likes it or not. And Yasuda, well. He can either face it or let it go, but if he does the latter, he thinks maybe he’ll be kicking himself forever…
Kimi comes out of the room and stands with his back to the door.
“I told him.” Kimi grins.
---
When Subaru goes back into Yasuda’s room, it’s with a million expectations. It almost seems like he should apologize for lying, but it feels more like he should give Kimi a good smack for exposing the truth.
When Subaru goes back into Yasuda’s room, Yasuda is sitting up in his bed. He’s not groggy from medication this time and he’s not half-asleep. He’s just eaten breakfast and he looks so much healthier than he has the last few days. The bruises are lighter and his fingers aren’t swollen anymore. He looks like maybe Subaru imagines he would outside of the hospital, except for the cast and the sling.
“So…” Subaru says.
“Kimiko says you like gigs,” Yasuda says. “Do you want to go to one?”
Subaru fidgets for a minute.
“Do you mind if I dress like a guy?”
“I think I’d like it that way,” Yasuda says.
And as much as Subaru hates to admit it, he’ll probably have to thank Kimi for this one.
Fandom: Kanjani8
Rating: PG
Pairing: Subaru/Yasu, Yoko/Maru
Disclaimer: This is a fictional situation.
Notes: This is a remix of Fantasist by parsnipchip for jentfic_remix. ♥ It's part of the naniwa_hospital 'verse. ;)
They always come in threes. First it’s Maru, usually, and he comes in beat up and smiling. Then it’s that Ohkura guy who always seems to hurt himself somehow (falling, running into things, minor burns). Once the two of them are securely in their hospital beds, Subaru always knows that blond guy, Yasuda, will be checking in soon.
Maru arrives on a Monday and he’s in true Maru form. Torn ligaments and all, he’s still smiling and especially happy to see Subaru and the other nurse Kimi.
“Do you think we should tell him this time?” Kimi asks when Subaru sees him at the nurse’s station.
Subaru remembers when he first met Kimi a couple of years ago. They both started working at the hospital around the same time. Subaru knew, the moment he saw Kimi, that he was a guy dressed as a woman. But Subaru didn’t question it because he was doing the exact same thing. It was kind of thrilling, having everyone think he was a woman. And he remembers back when he used to work as a man, how the patients were so much less cordial to him then.
Plus, he’s hot. No one can deny that.
He’s seen Kimi after their shift when he’s dressed in torn-up jeans and baggy T-shirts. He’s not a bad-looking guy at all, but something about dressing as a woman really suits him. It must be his soft skin and his full lips. Soon after they both started working there, Dr. Murakami noticed, too. Subaru wonders how long it took for him to realize the truth.
It turns into a game with Subaru. Every time he has a new patient who acts like he’s interested in Subaru for more than purely medical reasons, he tries to guess if they’ll figure it out. He has a running competition with Kimi - how many are still left fooled at the end of the day. But, unlike Subaru, Kimi has a thing where he likes to get them all wrapped up around his finger and then tell them. And he only tells the ones he likes.
So, Maru arrives on a Monday and then Ohkura the Tuesday after. Ohkura had some kind of incident that left him all bruised up, but he isn’t willing to give the details about it. Subaru’s used to Ohkura’s whining by now, so he patches him up without too many questions. Ohkura is in the category of “ probably doesn’t know”. He’s not the observant type.
It takes a few days, and Subaru starts wondering if the third one will show at all. Wednesday and Thursday pass without any notable occurrences. And then it’s Friday and Subaru is with Kimi organizing his charts for the morning.
“Looks like your favorite is here,” Kimi says, pulling a chart off of his stack and tossing it toward Subaru. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were behind this. Do you have a hit out on the poor guy?”
“I could say the same for your regulars,” Subaru says, sweetly, but he genuinely grins when he opens up Yasuda Shota’s folder.
Yasuda is just as accident-prone as Maru and Ohkura, but his injuries aren’t quite as pitiful as the other two. He’s more of the active type, and the last time he came in was for an ankle sprain that happened while he was out surfing. Yasuda is so easy to tease that Subaru just couldn’t resist it. He smacked him on the head and gave him torturous shots, not anything that would disturb his ankle. And Yasuda groaned and tried to act pathetic, but Subaru knew well enough to know he was lying. Men like getting beat up by pretty nurses (except Ohkura whose “stop it~” is entirely genuine). But this time Yasu’s in worse shape. He’s got a cast on one arm and is groggy from medication. He looks at Subaru hazily when he comes in, and Subaru’s face falls.
---
The highlight of Kimi’s day is telling Maru the truth. He can’t stop giggling about it in the lunchroom. It was funny, Subaru will give him that, and the look on Maru’s face was priceless. But it isn’t like it’s something Kimi has never done before.
“I think I’m going to visit him later,” Kimi says. “He looked like he’d be up for it, don’t you think?”
Subaru lifts an eyebrow. Kimi’s really just a tease when it comes down to it. He just likes to get men excited, but he doesn’t follow through on it. Other than with Dr. Murakami, but Subaru suspects that Kimi really likes him much more than he’s willing to admit to anyone. So it’s surprising for Kimi to suggest it. But they are on the late shift the next day, and Maru’s not set for discharge until the day after that.
Thankfully Yasuda looks a little better when Subaru goes in to see him that morning. He’s sitting up and eating with his good hand. And he’s just as gorgeous as Subaru remembers him being the last time.
“Good morning!” Yasuda says, brightly.
Subaru puts on his work-smile and opens Yasuda’s chart to the blank sheet where he’ll need to write down his vitals.
“What was it this time?” Subaru says, trying to sound gruff and only barely succeeding. “Were you out swimming with sharks?”
“Rock climbing,” Yasuda says sheepishly.
“Maybe you need to try out some safer sports…”
“But how am I going to get better at them unless I try?” Yasuda smiles.
He takes Yasuda’s temperature, then wraps the cuff around his arm to take his blood pressure. The problem with Yasuda is that Subaru is off his game around him. He’s just as good at being an enticing female nurse as Kimi is, but Yasuda’s so attractive that it’s hard to concentrate on his work let alone his play. Yasuda is in the “definitely does not know” category. But he’s also in the “probably gay” category, which would work to Subaru’s advantage if he weren’t so convincing at being a girl.
Subaru curses to himself. It’s so much easier to deal with Yasuda when he can smack him around.
---
It’s just as well that Kimi is distracted with Maru because Subaru doesn’t want to hear the end of it for visiting Yasuda’s room that night. He’s afraid Kimi might want to turn it into a challenge, and then Subaru won’t be able to back down. Or Kimi might just find it an excuse to make more remarks about Subaru spreading his legs for everyone. Like he’d be one to talk.
“Are you sure you should be doing that with an injured man?” Subaru asks, dryly.
“He’s not that injured,” Kimi says, fluffing up his fake boobs.
“And he knows those aren’t real…”
“What? A girl can’t look her best?” Kimi whirls around. “And what’s your problem anyway!?”
“…nothing.”
“You’re usually in a better mood when that Yasuda guy is here.” He stands close to the mirror while he puts on the last of his makeup.
And that’s the problem. But he’s not going to tell Kimi that.
Kimi at least waits until after his shift is over to make his way down the hall to Maru’s room. Subaru watches the door close behind him.
---
He doesn’t primp in front of the mirror like Kimi does, but he isn’t going to Yasuda’s room for that. He’s still on the clock and while Maru would surely embellish his injuries to stay in the hospital long enough for a night alone with Kimi, Yasuda is really hurt. So badly that Subaru can’t even think about making a move. He shouldn’t be thinking about making a move on his patients anyway, but this is a special case…
He takes his instruments to Yasdua’s room. Evening vital check, but the hospital is so quiet it feels more like the middle of the night. (He guesses that with Kimi occupied, the difference is noticeable.)
But when Subaru gets to the room, Yasuda is asleep. Everything becomes a little unprofessional from there. He lays down his instruments and stands at the window with his back to Yasuda’s bed. He should wake Yasuda up, take his pulse, his temperature, everything else. But he’s sleeping and probably needs to rest. There are bruises on his arm above the cast and his fingers are red and swollen. He’s also got bruises on his face and neck, and Subaru wonders how bad of a fall it really was.
Maybe he doesn’t want to see Yasuda in here ever again if this is the way he has to see him. The view from Yasuda’s room isn’t great. Subaru watches the street lights reflect off of the passing traffic. It’s noisy outside, but the thick windows keep out most of the sound. Most of the patients don’t complain about it, anyway. Yasuda sleeps so soundly that Subaru wonders if he'll ever wake up.
He wonders what Yasuda is like outside of the hospital. Does he have a lot of friends? He seems like the type. He’s so outgoing and friendly it seems like people would be drawn to him. Does he have a boyfriend? Probably. Why would a guy like this be unattached? Subaru is a fool for even thinking about Yasuda the way he does, but it’s not like he can help it.
Subaru gathers his things and leaves the room, going to make the rest of his rounds and hoping Yasuda will be awake by the time he gets back.
---
Kimi is in the break room when Subaru sits down to have some water and an energy bar. All of his coworkers are constantly bothering him to eat more, but anything else makes him feel sluggish, and as a nurse he needs to be quick on his feet. Anyway, Kimi eats enough for the both of them. He sits alone at a small table, eating some cafeteria pudding and looking a little dreamy as if he’s just woken up.
His wig is a little disheveled, and it certainly doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened, and the fact that it’s so obvious only makes Subaru picture it more easily. Maru is a total M, so he probably wanted Kimi to be in charge. Subaru wonders if Kimi was rough with him. Maru would have surely liked that, but hopefully Kimi was at least careful about it.
“Did you enjoy yourself?” Subaru asks, his voice thick with mock disapproval.
“I felt a little bad waking him up, but he really didn’t mind.” Kimi licks the end of his spoon and Subaru wonders if he’s doing it so lewdly on purpose. Then figures of course he probably is. Kimi’s not bad at it, not at all. Subaru thinks he might want to have a nurse like Kimi if he were a guy who wound up in the hospital. Kimi is good at being the fantasy of the hot unattainable nurse. Subaru fits the role, too. And they’re best as a team.
Though now he wonders if that poor Maru is going to throw himself down the stairs just so he can be hospitalized again. Subaru wouldn’t put it past him.
“And before you say it,” Kimi says. “I did it this time.”
“Yeah, obviously. I can tell by the rat’s nest on your head.”
“Hey! This thing isn’t cheap.”
“Not compared to the girl wearing it.”
“Can we… cut it out for just a minute?” Kimi asks.
Subaru’s about to feign ignorance, but Kimi looks like he actually has something to say, so he pulls off the façade (something he seems to be doing too often today) and listens.
“I told him to call me after he’s discharged… Was that a bad idea?”
“Ah~ So our Kimiko is growing up then? I heard that you won’t even see Dr. Murakami outside of work!”
“Who told you that?!”
“He did! He’ll tell anyone close enough to listen. Or maybe he just likes me~”
Kimi grumbles. “Well I don’t know. Maru’s a nice guy and he’s always getting beat up. I figured I’d be generous.”
But Subaru knows this isn’t just charity, so he doesn’t say anything else.
---
If he could be as bold as Kimi, he’d walk into Yasuda’s room and wake him right up. Yasuda is in worse shape than Maru, but certainly Subaru could do something to relax him, make him feel better. He’s never seen Yasuda without cuts and bruises (wonders if he’s ever in a state like that at all…) but he thinks about what he might like to do to Yasuda when he’s healthy and that just starts the thoughts flooding into his mind.
Yasuda looks sweet and innocent, but Subaru knows he has a wilder side. If he likes so many dangerous sports, then he has to be at least a little dangerous in the bedroom. Subaru wonders what Yasuda would let him do.
He makes his way down the long hallway again. All of his other patients are taken care of for the night, but there are still blank spaces on Yasuda’s chart where his evening vitals should be.
Yasuda is still asleep when Subaru comes back, but this time Subaru doesn’t hesitate.
“Yo, Yasuda,” he whispers at first, then realizes that isn’t doing any good. “Oy!” he says loudly, nudging Yasuda on the shoulder.
“Eh?” Yasuda sits up on his elbow, rubbing his eyes with one hand. “What?”
“Wake up~” Subaru says, trying to put on his sweetest voice, but he’s so wound up over this that he can tell it isn’t convincing. “Time to take your vitals.”
“Okay,” Yasuda says, groggily. He tries to lift the arm with the cast, probably forgetting for a moment about the injury. “OW.”
“Careful!” Subaru says. “Just…just relax, okay?”
Even he’s surprised by how gentle he sounds. Damn this stupid Yasuda for coming in all banged up like this. Doesn’t he know he’s supposed to come with a few minor injuries so that Subaru can tease and play with him? He’s not supposed to come in legitimately hurt. Subaru is a trained nurse, of course, but maybe working on this ward for so long has desensitized him. He and Kimi don’t get the real difficult cases. Or maybe it’s just that Subaru doesn’t see any of his other patients the way he does Yasuda.
He takes Yasuda’s temperature, then takes his pulse. He pulls out the stethoscope and listens to his heart. Yasuda seems tense, but Subaru is even more so. Now he just wants to get this over with and get out. The longer he stays, the more likely Yasuda is to figure out that something is up.
But then again, he’s still firmly in the “does not know” category regarding Subaru’s gender. Maybe he wouldn’t notice even if Subaru was more blatant about it. Maybe he’ll never notice at all.
“Done,” Subaru says. “You can go back to sleep now.”
He takes the cold stethoscope off of Yasuda’s chest and Yasuda rubs the spot where it was just a moment before. He packs everything up, hangs his stethoscope back around his neck, and starts to leave.
“I…” Yasuda starts. “I um.”
Subaru stops at the door, not sure if he should turn around or not. “Yes?”
“My friends…” Yasuda says. “They all make fun of me.”
Subaru chuckles. “You know this isn’t a psychiatric hospital, right?”
“I… I know,” Yasuda says. “But they all make fun of me because I told them I don’t mind being in the hospital if I get to see the cute nurse that works here.”
Subaru is probably turning some shade of red (mostly out of embarrassment for Yasuda; what kind of a confession is this?!) so he holds onto the doorknob, ready to turn it at any moment if it gets too weird.
“Only…” Yasuda goes on, clearly not knowing when to stop. “They probably all assume it’s a male nurse.”
“So it’s not, then?” Subaru says into the door.
“No,” Yasuda says. “Not at all. But I like her. I mean, I don’t like breaking bones or being sick or hurt, but… I think I get better ten times faster because she takes care of m-”
“Stop it!” Subaru says.
Silence except for the sound of someone wheeling a cart outside.
Part of being a fantasy is that he can't ever become reality. That's the whole point, and one he keeps forgetting whenever he's in Yasuda's room. Yasuda keeps breaking past Subaru’s persona, the one he’s so carefully crafted. He holds onto the doorknob with a tight fist, turning it from side to side, nervously.
He's pissed off at himself for letting this happen. Pissed off at Yasuda for seeing through him like that.
But he hasn't, Subaru thinks. Yasuda hasn't seen him at all.
“You’re a real idiot, aren’t you,” Subaru says. Then he leaves.
---
Maru stays in the hospital one more day. He’s discharged on a Saturday and remarks that it’s his day off anyway -- it couldn’t be more well-timed. Subaru likes flirting with Maru, so he’s sure to get in a few naughty remarks before he leaves for good (or until the next time a bunch of kids beat him up). He even takes his time getting Maru’s discharge paperwork together so he can lean close to him on the bed. Maru grins at him the whole time.
“You know I always hate to leave!” Maru whines.
“I know, I know,” Subaru says. “But you know you’ll be back soon enough.”
“I’m starting to wonder if I should wear a helmet…”
“We all know you won’t.” Subaru winks.
“Well I’ll miss you anyway,” Maru says. “Tell Kimiko I said so, too~”
“He’s off the next few days,” Subaru says, still checking boxes and writing notes on Maru’s chart. “But you should know that.”
Maru turns about five shades of red and Subaru nudges him until he gets up off the bed.
---
Subaru tries to avoid Yasuda, but there isn’t much he can do when Kimi is off and he’s the only nurse on the shift. He gets around it by only coming to Yasuda’s room when he’s compromised somehow. He comes when it’s late and he knows Yasuda will be sleeping or he comes when the doctor is talking to him, so that he can slip in and out without having to speak to Yasuda at all. Today he comes in just after Yasuda has taken his pain medication, so he’ll be too out of it to try to talk to Subaru anyway. It’s not like Subaru can go on forever like this, but he’ll stall as long as he can.
What’s he so afraid of anyway? Maybe it’s that Yasuda feels that way, and he thinks he might feel the same, and it makes his chest feel tight, his shoulders tense. And he doesn’t want to have to have the awkward conversation about what’s really under his skirt.
It’s so easy being a fantasy for the men who come into the hospital. He doesn’t have to follow through on anything, and they never have to know. He can be an anonymous fantasy. He prefers it that way. And he loves the idea of being so widely desired. Going further with these men isn’t the point at all.
But with Yasuda, he wants to do stupid things like curl up his bed and feel his chest and arms and face without needing a piece of medical equipment as an excuse to do it. And he has stupid reactions like his heart doing flips the last time he really talked to Yasuda. He’s a hot nurse. Just a fantasy. And none of this is supposed to be happening at all.
---
When Kimi comes back from his days off, Subaru can finally avoid Yasuda properly. He makes excuses, offers to take over some of Kimi’s patients, even offers to do all of Kimi’s filing at the end of the day. It doesn’t take long for Kimi to figure it out.
“Would you stop avoiding him?” Kimi says. “I don’t know what you’re freaking out about, but you have a job to do, you know…”
“You’re just as good a nurse as I am…”
“What? I’m so much better!”
“Sluttier isn’t better!”
“Hey, you know what? I know exactly how to solve all of this. Right now.”
Then he takes off down the hall.
“Wait!” Subaru yells after him, high heels clacking on the linoleum floors. But he’s way too late. Kimi disappears into Yasuda’s room and Subaru nearly crumbles.
The thing is, it’s no secret among the hospital staff that Kimi and Subaru aren’t really girls. But it’s sort of at thing that everyone knows but doesn’t really talk about. Whenever a new male staff member comes in and starts talking about asking one of them out, someone who has been around longer takes them aside and says not to bother. The only real exception being Dr. Murakami, but Kimi is the one who went after him.
Subaru doesn’t know why he’s so self-conscious about Yasuda, but maybe it’s that at work he can be one person and at home he's another. (It makes more sense to me this way, but I guess it depends on which persona you're trying emphasize, if that makes sense.) It’s easier to go through the day with a mask on. But he’s already formed an attachment with Kimi, whether he likes it or not. And Yasuda, well. He can either face it or let it go, but if he does the latter, he thinks maybe he’ll be kicking himself forever…
Kimi comes out of the room and stands with his back to the door.
“I told him.” Kimi grins.
---
When Subaru goes back into Yasuda’s room, it’s with a million expectations. It almost seems like he should apologize for lying, but it feels more like he should give Kimi a good smack for exposing the truth.
When Subaru goes back into Yasuda’s room, Yasuda is sitting up in his bed. He’s not groggy from medication this time and he’s not half-asleep. He’s just eaten breakfast and he looks so much healthier than he has the last few days. The bruises are lighter and his fingers aren’t swollen anymore. He looks like maybe Subaru imagines he would outside of the hospital, except for the cast and the sling.
“So…” Subaru says.
“Kimiko says you like gigs,” Yasuda says. “Do you want to go to one?”
Subaru fidgets for a minute.
“Do you mind if I dress like a guy?”
“I think I’d like it that way,” Yasuda says.
And as much as Subaru hates to admit it, he’ll probably have to thank Kimi for this one.